Extended - Thursday, September 8, 2016 - Uncensored

  • 09/08/2016

Esther Povitsky and the Sklar Brothers get sarcastic about North Korea, examine a Donald Trump-shaped cloud and name #OneLetterOffSports in this extended, uncensored episode.

This happened on "The DailyMail."

Stay Puft Marshmallow dictatorKim Jong-un is known for his

brutal suppression of humanrights in North Korea, like last

year when he ordered theexecution of a turtle farmer for

incompetence.

Your move, Shredder!

(laughter)(applause and cheering)

But...

But Kim's newly-announced policyactually sounds like a really

great idea.

Really awesome idea.

North Korea's reportedly banningsarcasm.

That's just great.

That is such a great idea.

Well, I guess not important...

I'm so important, I guess Ididn't get the memo.

Oh, wait.

There's the memo.

We're getting it now.

The law's intended to preventthe mockery of the great leader.

Though if you really want to dothat, he should stop dressing

like he shops at the Death StarLane Bryant.

(laughter)That's not sarcasm.

I mean that literally.

>> No.

>> No, that's for real.

>> HARDWICK: Yeah, I don't...

I mean that.

That's not sarcasm.

>> Yeah. That's... and that...

>> HARDWICK: But fortunately, welive in the good old USA where

you have the freedom to saywhatever the Christ you want,

although, you might get beatenup, or publicly shamed on social

media, or imprisoned for life ifyou ever show your face in

Pyongyang after hosting@midnight.

So comedians...

(laughter)...what's some now banned North

Korean sarcasm?

Randy Sklar, go.

>> I don't miss my uncle at all.

(laughter and groaning)>> HARDWICK: Jason, go.

>> I mean, who doesn't loveDennis Rodman, right, people?

(laughter)(applause and cheering)

>> HARDWICK: Esther Povitsky.

>> I'm so hungry I couldliterally eat my horse.

(laughter)>> HARDWICK: I think you got to

throw literally in there.

Extremely Cloud AndIncredibly Close.

You might remember DonaldTrump's lawyer, Michael Cohen,

for this classic legal argument.

>> But you guys are down...

and it makes sense that there...

>> Says who?

>> Polls.

>> Says who?

>> Most of them. All of them?

>> Says who?

(laughter, shouts)>> Boom!

>> That is...

>> No...

>> That is...

>> No...

>> That is...

that is maybe some of HughLaurie's best character work.

>> HARDWICK: It's so good.

Yeah, you know, the last seasonof House got real weird.

>> Says who? Says who?

>> HARDWICK: Says who?

>> Says who? Says who?

>> HARDWICK: It's nice to knowthat if he or Trump ever get in

trouble, their defense is gonnabe: "A bitch says what?"

(laughter)>> I like his confidence.

I want to use that the next timesomeone tries to break up with

me-- I'll just be like,"Says who?"

(laughter)(whooping, applause)

>> HARDWICK: Hundred points toEsther for that.

Now Cohen's tweeting out divineproof that Donald is gonna win.

This cloud. Hmm.

And he says...

(laughter)And he wrote: "In case anyone is

unsure as to who will be ournext POTUS, the Lord has chosen

the people's messenger."

(laughter)And those little tiny cloud

hands at the bottom are justgiving us all the finger.

(whooping, applause)Comedians, what's the weather

report for this picture?

Yes, Jay.

>> We have a dumb front movingin from the east.

(laughter)>> HARDWICK: Points.

>> I can leave it at that.

>> I'll leave it at that.

>> HARDWICK: Randy.

>> See, I think it's morecomplicated than that.

That is a very difficult weathersystem to predict.

It is a severe tornado warning,but only for Latinos, so, uh...

(laughter)(audience groans)

The cloud knows.

The cloud knows where to go.

>> And I... I think those wispsof clouds were taken from

another cloud and put on top ofthat cloud.

>> HARDWICK: And put on top.

>> Yeah.

>> HARDWICK: You think it was acloud transplant.

>> Yes, I do.

>> HARDWICK: Esther.

>> Cloudy with a chance of a guywho looks like meatballs.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Very good, very good.

It's now time for tonight's#HashtagWars.

(cheers and applause)Well, if you're listening

to my mom shout andswear at the TV a lot, that's

'cause NFL season began tonight,kicking off another five months

of watching Bill Belichickslowly transform into a turtle.

(laughter)Now look...

Football is still as popular asever, despite the fact that it

turns players' brains intoscrambled eggs, taking away

their ability to rememberimportant things like their

families or where their cardealerships are located.

So, let's ring in another yearof competitive brain damage with

tonight's hashtag#OneLetterOffSports.

>> Yes.

>> HARDWICK:#OneLetterOffSports.

Uh...

(cheers and applause)Examples might be

The Oregon Cucks or Kony Bryant2012.

I'm gonna put 60 seconds...

you don't even remember thatfrom four years ago.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> HARDWICK: I'm gonna put 60seconds on the clock and begin.

Yes, Jay.

>> The San Francisco 69ers.

>> HARDWICK: Points.

Esther.

>> Los Angeles Fakers.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

(audience groans)Randy.

>> The Olymdics.

(laughter)>> HARDWICK: Points.

Jay.

>> The San Jose Sharts.

>> HARDWICK (laughing): Points.

Esther.

>> Dwight Coward.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Jay.

>> The Cleveland Brown.

>> HARDWICK: Points.

Uh... Randy.

>> The Westminster Dong Show.

>> HARDWICK: Yes, points.

Randy.

>> The U. Ass Open.

>> HARDWICK: Points.

Jay.

>> The New York Jews.

>> HARDWICK (laughing): Points.

>> That's... it'd be the Jets.

(laughter)>> HARDWICK (N.Y. accent): Says

who?

>> BOTH (N.Y. accent): Says who?

>> HARDWICK: Says who?

>> It's The New York Jews.

>> HARDWICK: Says who?

>> Says the Jews.

>> HARDWICK: Esther.

>> March Sadness.

(laughter)>> HARDWICK: Points.

Randy.

>> Uh... this is simple.

Dennis.

>> HARDWICK: Yeah, points.

>> Thank you.

(laughter)>> HARDWICK: You know what?

You know who my favorite dennisplayer is?

>> Who?

>> HARDWICK: Penus Williams.

>> Yes!