Montgomery

  • Season 2, Ep 1
  • 07/01/2014

Percy Julian battles adversity to become one of the greatest scientists of all time, Claudette Colvin lays the groundwork for Rosa Parks, and Joe Louis fights Max Schmeling.

SO HE HAS NOWHERE TO GO.

THIS GUY WILLIAM O'BRIAN--WHO'SA VICE PRESIDENT OF GLIDDEN,

A PAINT COMPANY--HE'S LIKE, THIS IS ABSURD.

THIS IS CRAZY.THIS GUY IS A GENIUS.

I'M GONNA HIRE THIS GUY TO BETHE DIRECTOR OF RESEARCH

IN OUR LABORATORY.

SO PERCY AND HIS TEAM WERESTUDYING SOYBEANS IN THE LAB.

THEY'RE GOING,THIS MOLECULE

GOES TO THIS MOLECULE,AND THEN BOOM,

AND THEN WE HAVE THIS MOLECULETHAT'S GOING TO THIS MOLECULE,

AND THEN BOOM.

WE'RE HAVING A GOOD TIME.

SO HE'S WORKINGALL THIS STUFF.

SO ONE TIME,PERCY'S IN HIS LAB.

HE FOUND OUT THERE HAD BEENAN ACCIDENT, AND HE WAS LIKE,

OH, [bleep].OH, [bleep].

SOME WATER GOTINTO THIS 100,000-GALLON TANK

OF SOYBEAN JUICE.

I'M IN [bleep] TROUBLE.

AND HE NOTICES THESE CRYSTALSON THE SIDE OF THE TUB,

AND HE REALIZES,

I JUST MADE STEROIDSFROM A SOYBEAN.

AT THAT TIME, THEY WERE GETTINGSTEROIDS FROM, LIKE, HORSE PISS.

EVERYBODY WAS LIKE,

WHOA, PERCY JUST MADEPROGESTERONE OUT OF A BEAN.

HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO, LIKE,USE A HORSE DICK FOR THAT.

THERE'S ONLYSO MANY HORSE DICKS.

THERE IS, LIKE,A MILLION SOYBEANS,

UH, PER EVERY ONE HORSE DICK,OKAY?

PERCY STARTS MAKINGMILLIONS OF DOLLARS

BECAUSE OF THIS.

HE'S ABLE TO HELPMILLIONS OF PEOPLE,

WITH THINGS FROM ARTHRITIS,GLAUCOMA, BIRTH CONTROL,

AND HE WAS A ROLE MODEL

TO MANY OTHER AFRICAN-AMERICANSAFTER HIM.

HE CREATEDSO MUCH GODDAMN STUFF,

I CAN'T EVEN LISTALL THE STUFF HE CREATED,

BECAUSE THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIMEON THE SHOW,

BUT CAN I JUST, LIKE--

CAN YOU JUST SCROLL A LISTOF ALL THE STUFF HE CREATED?

- YEAH, WE CAN--

- BECAUSE THAT WOULD BETHE MOST EFFICIENT WAY.

- JUST WHILE YOU'RE TALKING?- I CAN'T--I DON'T HAVE--

I CAN'T,

BUT I HOPE YOU'RE SEEINGTHE LIST

OF ALL THE STUFF HE CREATED,BECAUSE IT'S INSANE.

IT'S, LIKE, A LOT OF STUFF.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT THAT.

LOOK AT THAT.

- [laughs]

A 15-YEAR-OLDBESPECTACLED TEENAGER.

UH-OH, LET ME SAY IT.

BESPECTACLED TEENAGER.

IT'S A HARD WORD,"BESPECTACLED."

SHE TAKES THE BUS HOMEFROM SCHOOL,

SO HER FRIENDS ARE LIKE,ALL RIGHT,

WE'RE HAVING A FUN TRIPTO HOME.

UH-OH, A WHITE LADY.

A WHITE LADYGETS ON THE BUS.

THE WHITE LADY'S LIKE,

HEY, YOU GUYS HAVE TO MOVE,BECAUSE I'M WHITE.

CLAUDETTE'S FRIENDS LEAVE,BUT CLAUDETTE STAYS,

AND IS LIKE, YOU KNOW WHAT,I PAID MY FARE,

THE SAME AS THIS WHITE LADYPAID HER FARE.

SO CLAUDETTE'S LIKE,[bleep] YOU.

I'M [bleep] SITTING.HAVE A SEAT.

WHITE LADY'S LIKE,I WILL NOT HAVE A SEAT.

THE BUS DRIVER'S LIKE,I'M GONNA GET THE COPS.

SO THE COPS ARE LIKE, MOVE.

CLAUDETTE'S LIKE,I SHALL NOT BE MOVED,

AND THEY DRAG HEROFF THE BUS.

THE ONLY THING SHE KNOWSTO DO IS TO GO,

IT'S MY CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT.

AND THEY'RE LIKE, IT'S 1955,AND WE DON'T HAVE TO DO [bleep],

SO [bleep] YOU.

CLAUDETTE'S LIKE,[bleep] [bleep] 1955.

[burps]

I'M SORRY I BURPED,BUT I'M NOT SORRY!

SO WAIT, WHAT?

SO THE N.A.A.C.P.

IS FLOODED WITH LETTERS SAYING,

CLAUDETTE COLVIN IS SO BRAVE,SHE'S WONDERFUL.

AND THE PERSONWHO READS THESE LETTERS,

THE SECRETARY OF THE N.A.A.C.P.,ROSA PARKS.

ROSA PARKS GOESTO CLAUDETTE COLVIN'S HOUSE

AND IS LIKE, CLAUDETTE,YOU'RE THE [bleep].

CLAUDETTE'S LIKE,I [bleep] KNOW.

I'M THE ONE WHO GOT MY ASSDRAGGED TO JAIL.

AND THAT'S HOW THEY REALLYCONNECT AND BECOME FRIENDS.

SO, WHENEVER SHE'SAT AN N.A.A.C.P. MEETING,

SHE SPENDS THE NIGHTAT ROSA PARKS' HOUSE.

AND ROSA PARKS IS LIKE,YOU KNOW WHAT, YOU'RE GREAT.

CLAUDETTE COLVIN IS LIKE,YOU'RE GREAT.

THEY REALLY CONNECT.

TIME PASSES, AND E.D. NIXON,

THE PRESIDENT OF THEIR LOCALCHAPTER OF THE N.A.A.C.P.,

IS LIKE, WE NEEDTO START A BUS BOYCOTT,

AND THIS BUS BOYCOTTWILL START A REVOLUTION.

WE SHOULD USECLAUDETTE COLVIN'S ARREST

AS A REASON TO BOYCOTTTHE BUSES.

PEOPLE WILL GET BEHIND HER.

BUT THEN THEY WERE LIKE,

OH, BUT NOT WHITE PEOPLE,BECAUSE SHE HAS DARKER SKIN,

AND WE CAN'T HAVE A 15-YEAR-OLDAS THE FACE

OF THE ANTISEGREGATION MOVEMENT,

BUT WE CAN HAVE ROSA PARKSAS THE FACE OF THIS MOVEMENT.

SO IT'S AT THAT TIME

THAT ROSA PARKS SITS DOWNIN THE WHITE SECTION OF THE BUS

AND GETS TAKEN OFF TO JAIL,

BUT SHE HAD TO ACT LIKE,OH, I WAS JUST TIRED.

AREN'T I NOT THREATENING,WHITE PEOPLE?

AND THEN WHITE PEOPLE WERE LIKE,OH, SHE'S JUST TIRED.

WE'RE EATING THIS UP.

OKAY.[laughs]

I'M JUST, LIKE,HYPERAWARE THAT, LIKE,

THIS VERY MOMENTCOULD BE ON NATIONAL TV.

HE'S UPWARDLY COMING,AND HE HAD A ROCKING BOD,

AND HE'S FIGHTINGTHIS DUDE MAX SCHMELING.

MAX SCHMELINGLIVED IN GERMANY.

HE WAS A GERMAN DURING THE TIMEOF THE NAZIS.

SCHMELING HAD WONTHE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

IN 1930, 'CAUSE JACK SHARKEYHIT HIM IN THE NUTS

AND GOT DISQUALIFIED.

SO HE BASICALLY WONTHE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

OF THE WORLDBY GETTING HIT IN THE NUTS.

JOE LOUIS' MANAGER WAS LIKE,WE'RE GONNA TAKE

THIS EX-CHAMPION, SCHMELING,THROW HIM IN FRONT OF LOUIS,

LOUIS WILL PUMMEL HIM.

JOE LOUIS WAS LIKE,

I DON'T NEED TO TRAINFOR THIS SCHMUCK, YOU KNOW?

INSTEAD OF TRAINING,HE WAS PLAYING GOLF,

AND HE HAD ALL THESE WOMENCOMING AROUND AND STUFF.

SO HE'S [bleep]AND PLAYING GOLF AND STUFF

INSTEAD OF TRAININGFOR HIS FIGHT.

MMM.

SO THE FIRST FIGHTWAS AT YANKEE STADIUM.

THERE'S TENS OF THOUSANDSOF PEOPLE THERE,

AND EVERYONE JUST ASSUMES

JOE LOUIS IS GONNA KICKMAX SCHMELING'S BUTT.

LIKE, HITLER DIDN'T EVEN WANT ITADVERTISED IN GERMANY.

HITLER WAS LIKE,THIS GUY'S GONNA LOSE.

WE DON'T WANT ANYONETO KNOW ABOUT THE FIGHT.

IT WAS LIKE, JOE WAS, LIKE,DOING ALL RIGHT,

AND THEN MAX SCHMELINGJUST STARTS COMING AT HIM.

HE WAS LIKE,BOOM, BOOM, BOOM.

AND THEN [bleep] SCHMELINGKNOCKS HIM DOWN

FOR THE FIRST TIMEIN HIS WHOLE CAREER.

JOE LOUIS WAS LIKE,OH, [bleep].

I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN [bleep]AND GOLFING.

AND HE LOSES.

SO LOUIS FEELS LIKE,I'M NOT THE REAL CHAMP

UNTIL I BEAT MAX SCHMELING,YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE HE BEAT ME BEFORE,SO I'M GONNA--

I'M--NOW, I WANT TO BEAT HIM,

AND SO THEYBASICALLY ENDED UP DECIDING

THEY WERE GONNA FIGHT AGAIN.

AND, UH, YOU KNOW,HE WAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE,

AND ROOSEVELT SAID,YOU KNOW,

WE NEED THESE ARMSTO BEAT THE NAZIS.

ARE YOU GONNA WIN?OR WHATEVER.

AND HE'S LIKE,YEAH, I GOT TO--

I GOT TO--I--I CAN'T DO WHAT I DID BEFORE.

I CAN'T [bleep] UP AND LOSE.

I GOT TO GET MY [bleep]IN SHAPE.

NO WOMEN, NO GOLF.

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