Comedy Central Presents
Season 4

CC Presents: Pablo Francisco

  • Season 4, Ep 4
  • 12/24/2000

COME ON.

GIVE IT UP FOR THE BACKGROUND.

LOOK AT THAT.

ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?

(APPLAUSE)

IT'S A TECHNO CLUB.

IT'S A LITTLE TECHNO ACTION.

THAT'S WHAT WE'VE BEEN DOING.

WE'VE BEEN PARTYING EVERY NIGHT

HERE IN NEW YORK.

EVERY CLUB IS...

(TECHNO SOUND EFFECTS)

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS (BLEEP)?

WHAT IS THIS?

I'M A TOURIST.

WHAT IS THIS?"

(SOUND EFFECTS)

THAT'S EVERY CLUB WE'VE BEEN TO.

"WHAT IS IT?

IT'S THE DEVIL'S MUSIC.

THIS IS EVIL.

IT'S EVIL.

WHAT IS IT?"

NO MATTER WHAT THE MUSIC SAYS,

PEOPLE STILL DANCE TO IT.

YOU KNOW?

IT'S LIKE, "KILL MYSELF."

"KILL MYSELF."

"SLASH MY WRISTS."

"SLASH MY WRISTS."

PEOPLE GOT EARRI

TOO.

YOU KNOW, YOU GO THERE--

(PIERCING SOUND EFFECTS)

WHAT UP?

PING, PING.

PING, PING, PING.

PIKACHU.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT IS THAT?

HIS LITTLE CUCKOO.

LIVES IN HIS LITTLE WEDGE.

YOU EVER SEE THAT BEFORE?

THE LITTLE (WHISTLES)

WE'RE IN A CLUB THE OTHER NIGHT,

AND I'M JUST, LIKE, GOING TO

THE BATHROOM, AND SOME DUDE

WALKS IN THERE.

"HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON, BRA?"

ZIP.

BING, DING, A DING.

I'M LIKE...

(LAUGHTER)

AND YOU SEE THIS THING, LIKE,

SHINING.

(SOUND EFFECTS)

"WHAT IS THAT?

IS THAT A BRACELET?

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT (BLEEP)?

AH, GEEZ!"

(LAUGHTER)

THEY GOT JEWELRY THAT GOES

THROUGH IT.

HAVE YOU SEEN THAT?

THE LITTLE JEWELRY THING.

"LOOK AT THAT.

THIS ONE GOES HERE."

IT MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE DOOR

KNOCKERS, LIKE...

(KNOCKING)

"HOUSEKEEPING.

(KNOCKING SOUND)

HOUSEKEEPING."

(BOOSH!)

STOP IT, MAN.

I LIKE THE GIRLS WITH THE TONGUE

RING.

ANY WOMEN IN HERE WHO HAVE THE

TONGUE RING LITTLE ACTION GOING

ON, A LITTLE TONGUE ACTION?

"LOOK AT THAT.

LOOK AT THIS!

YOU WANT THAT?"

YOU KNOW, THEY GET SO DRUNK,

IT HITS THEIR TEETH WHEN THEY

TALK TO YOU.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?"

(CLICKING SOUND)

"YEAH."

(CLICKING)

"COME ON.

LET'S DO IT."

(CLICKING)

WHAT NEXT?

ARE THEY GONNA GET THEIR LIVER

PIERCED?

"HEY, I GOT MY LIVER PIERCED.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY.

DON'T TOUCH IT.

I'LL (BLEEP) IN MY PANTS.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GO."

(SOUND EFFECTS)

I GOT THE LESBIAN HAIRCUT GOING

ON HERE.

"HI!"

I COULD PICK UP CHICKS WITH THIS

HAIRCUT.

"HI, I'M JULIE.

(LAUGHTER)

HI.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

LET'S PARTY.

COME ON."

(SOUND EFFECTS)

IT'S THE MUSIC THAT CHANGES YOU,

MAN.

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

YOU KNOW, LOOK AT BACKSTREET

BOYS AND 'N SYNC AND THE MICKEY

MOUSE CLUB.

BOO-BOO-BEE-BOO.

YOU WALK INTO ANY GROCERY STORE,

THE MAGAZINES LOOKING AT YOU.

"WHAT IS THAT?

WHAT IS THAT?"

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT IS WITH THIS?

I'M NOT INTO IT.

I MEAN, I KNOW THEY'RE

HARD-WORKING GUYS, BUT I'M NOT

INTO THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB.

BOO-BOO-HOO-BOO.

WHATEVER THE MUSIC.

THE MUSIC.

♪ GIRL, OH, GIRL.

BOO-BOO-BOO-BOO."

WHATEVER.

IT'S OKAY SOMETIMES, BUT YOU

DON'T WANT TO GET INTO...

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

IT'S NOT R&B.

IT'S NOT R&B MUSIC, YOU KNOW?

R&B MUSIC'S ALWAYS, YOU KNOW,

FIVE BLACK GUYS WITH NO SHIRTS.

YOU KNOW?

"YEAH.

I'M HORNY, YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH.

MM-HMM."

THEY'RE ALWAYS SINGING HOW FINE

A GIRL IS.

♪ GIRL, YOU'RE FI-I-I-I-NE.

(LAUGHTER)

♪ LAY YOU DOWN.

FI-I-I-I-NE. ♪

(LAUGHTER)

THEY ALWAYS SAY "SMOOTH,

SOFT AND SILKY" IN EVERY SONG,

DON'T THEY?

THEN THEY PUT BEATS TO IT.

♪ GIRL, (IMITATING TECHNO MUSIC)

YOU'RE SMOOTH.

YEAH, YOU'RE SOFT.

FI-I-I-I-NE. ♪

(LAUGHTER)

♪ SILKY, YEAH.

SILKY. ♪

(APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU.

RAPPERS ARE THE FUNNIEST GUYS,

THOUGH.

RAPPERS, WHEN THEY GET THEIR

AWARDS, THEY ALWAYS CREDIT GOD.

"YEAH.

I'D LIKE TO THANK JESUS CHRIST,

JEHOVAH, GOD ALMIGHTY FOR MY

NUMBER ONE HIT SINGLE.

IT'S CALLED 'SUCK YOUR MAMA.'

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

(IMITATING TECHNO MUSIC)

♪ WHITE PEOPLE DIE.

NEW YORK, MAN, IS WATCHING ALL

THE TELEVISION SHOWS HERE.

THAT'S THE BEST PART.

YOU KNOW, WE'RE WATCHING THE

SPANISH CHANNELS ALL DAY TODAY.

THOSE ARE THE BEST.

THIS IS EVERY SPANISH SOAP

OPERA.

THIS IS EVERY SPANISH SOAP

OPERA, BECAUSE THE WOMEN

ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL AND THEY

NEVER CRY.

IT'S ALWAYS THE MEN WHO CRY.

YOU KNOW, THEY GET SCREWED OVER

AND SAY, "MARIA.

MARIA."

"OOH, AYE-YI-YI.

OOH, AYE-YI-YI.

OOH, AYE-YI-YI."

"MARIA..."

(SOUND EFFECTS)

"MARIA."

(SOUND EFFECTS)

(DEEP VOICE) MARIA, FERNANDO,

MI AMIGO IS THE COOCHY-COOCHY."

(IMITATING A HEARTBEAT SOUND)

(HEART BEATS FASTER)

"PORQUE?

(LAUGHTER)

PORQUE, MARIA?"

AND SHE'LL BE FREAKING OUT.

"OH, JUANITO, FERNANDO

MORE GRANDE.

Y TU... CHIQUITO."

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS)

ANY PSYCHO WOMEN HERE TONIGHT?

PSYCHOS?

(WOMAN'S VOICE) "I'M NUTS!

I'M CRAZY.

I'VE BEEN OUT WITH 400 GUYS,

BUT I'VE-- GIVE IT A SHOT.

(LAUGHTER)

I'M LOCA."

I THINK IT'S USUALLY AFTER

YOU'VE HAD SEX WITH THEM,

THAT'S WHEN THEY GO...

(WHISTLES)

WHOO-HOO.

YOU KNOW, BEFORE SEX,

"IT'S OKAY.

GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

IT'S OKAY."

(WHISTLES)

(SOUND EFFECTS)

(LAUGHTER)

COME HERE.

AND THEY'LL TRAP YOU.

THEY'LL BE AT A PARTY.

THEY'LL GET YOU AT THE PARTY.

"WHO IS SHE?

COME HERE.

LET GO OF ME!

(LAUGHTER)

YOU HUGGED HER!

DON'T LIE TO ME, PABLO.

TONY, STAY OUT OF THIS!

YOU HUGGED HER.

SHE MADE YOU DINNER, PABLO."

"SHE'S MY MOM.

WHAT THE HELL?

SHE'S MY MOM."

"WHATEVER.

(LAUGHTER)

WHERE'S MY FRIEND WHO AGREES

WITH ME?"

SHE'LL SHOW UP.

"HERE I AM.

I'M..."

THEY GET PISSED OFF WHEN YOU GO

TO HOOTERS.

THAT'S THE FUNNIEST PART,

WHEN YOU GO TO HOOTERS.

"YOU'RE GOING TO HOOTERS?

GO AHEAD.

YOU'RE AN (BLEEP)."

(LAUGHTER)

THEY'RE CALLING HOOTERS NOW

THE "FAMILY RESTAURANT."

ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS,

THE "FAMILY RESTAURANT"?

"(BLEEP) FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY."

THAT'S RIGHT.

COME TO HOOTERS."

THAT WOULD BREAK UP A FAMILY,

WOULDN'T IT, BREAK UP A FAMILY

WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING AT A

WAITRESS'S ASS, YOU KNOW?

LIKE--

"IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

WHATEVER!"

(LAUGHTER)

YOU TREAT HER-- YOU "COULD YOU

PLEASE BOX THIS UP?

SHE'S BEING A BITCH.

COULD YOU PLEASE DO THAT?"

HOW MANY JEALOUS GUYS OUT THERE?

WE GOT JEALOUS GUYS OUT THERE?

JEALOUS, PSYCHO.

PSYCHO?

I LOVE YOU!

I FOLLOW YOUR GIRLFRIEND

TO THE BATHROOM.

"IS THERE AN ORGY IN THERE?

WHAT'S GOING ON?"

(LAUGHTER)

"LEAVE ME ALONE."

THE GIRLS TRY TO BREAK UP WITH

THEM.

"LISTEN, TOMMY.

YOU'RE HURTING MY ARM.

LISTEN TO ME.

YOU DO DRUGS.

YOU PARTY.

YOU BORROW MONEY FROM ME."

"NO!

IT'S NOT OVER.

(LAUGHTER)

I LOVE YOU!

THE BAND'S GONNA MAKE IT.

COME ON."

"WHATEVER!"

I LIKE A PERSON WITH A PRE

FACE.

DOES THAT MAKE ME BAD?

I'M NOT SAYING I'M

MR. GOOD-LOOKING MYSELF.

I KIND OF GOT THAT, YOU KNOW,

GOT THAT LITTLE MONKEY BUTT

GROWING RIGHT THERE.

YOU SEE THAT?

(SCREECHING LIKE A MONKEY)

I LIKE A GOOD-LOOKING FACE.

THAT'S WHAT TURNS ME ON ABOUT

A PERSON.

NEW YORK, MAN, GEEZ.

WOMEN ARE ♪ FI-I-I-NE.

THERE ARE NO NAMES.

THEY ARE JUST ♪ FINE, FINE.

GEEZ, LET'S LOOK AT THAT.

♪ FINE.

I'M FROM CASTLEGRIND ARIZONA.

THERE'S NOTHING THERE.

I MEAN, THERE'S SPECIES UP

THERE.

IT'S "HEY, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

WHAT'S GOING ON?"

IT'S LIKE (GROWLING SOUNDS)

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

"WHAT'S YOUR FRIEND'S NAME?"

(SOUND EFFECTS)

ALL RIGHT.

THEY TAKE GOOD CARE OF THE

BODIES THERE.

YOU EVER SEE THOSE PEOPLE WITH

THE NICE BODIES?

"LOOK AT THAT.

YOU WANT THIS?

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT?"

WITH THE FACE...

(GROWLING NOISES)

IT SUCKS.

DOESN'T IT SUCK-- NICE BODY,

UGLY FACE?

DOESN'T THAT SUCK?

IT JUST SUCKS.

"I LOVE SPAGHETTI, BUT IT GOT

(BLEEP) ON IT."

"(BLEEP) SAUCE.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

I LOVE LATIN WOMEN.

LATIN WOMEN ARE THE BEST.

YEAH, MAN.

NOT BECAUSE I'M LATINO, BUT IF

YOU GET IN A FIGHT OR SOMETHING,

THEY'LL JUMP IN AND HELP YOU

OUT.

THEY'LL GET RIGHT IN THERE.

IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD YOU GOT A

LATIN GIRLFRIEND, YOU DON'T NEED

A BIG BROTHER.

YOU GET HIT IN THE FACE--

(SOUND EFFECT)

(BLEEP) "LET ME GET MY

GIRLFRIEND."

(LAUGHTER)

THEY'LL GET RIGHT IN THERE, MAN.

SOME GUY COMES TO YOUR PARTY,

LOOKING TO KICK YOUR ASS.

"IS PABLO HERE?"

"YEAH.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.

WHAT'S UP, ESSE?

HUH?

COME ON, STUPID."

ESSE?

WHAT?

ARE YOU CALLING ME A TERM PAPER?

WHAT'S GOING ON?"

THEY ALWAYS GOT THAT GIRLFRIEND

WHO WANTS TO GET INVOLVED.

"ROSA, WHAT'S GOING ON?"

(CLICKING SOUND EFFECTS)

"IT'S THIS GUY OVER HERE.

HE'S TALKING TO ME LIKE ME KNOWS

ME."

"HEY, THEY'LL GET SCARED.

OKAY.

I'M LEAVING.

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE, MAN."

OH, MAN, YOU SEE TWO LATIN WOMEN

ON "JERRY SPRINGER," THAT'S

THE BEST PART, YOU KNOW?

I'LL BECOME JERRY SPRINGER.

I'LL GET THE FIGHT STARTED,

YOU KNOW?

I'LL BE LIKE, "SO SHE CALLED YOU

A PUTA?"

HOW LONG HAS SHE BEEN CALLING

YOU A PUTA?"

"SHE'S BEEN CALLING ME A PUTA

SINCE THIRD GRADE."

(LAUGHTER)

JERRY SPRINGER, HE JUST LOVES

TO START CRAP, DON'T HE?

HE GETS UP EVERY MORNING WITH

HIS SUIT AND TIE.

"OKAY.

WANT TO START SOME (BLEEP)

TODAY?"

HE'LL GET ANYONE TO FIGHT.

HE'LL BE LIKE, "SO SOMETHING'S

BOTHERING YOU.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU?"

"I DON'T LIKE BLACKS, MEXICANS

AND CHINESE PEOPLE!"

"WELL, WE JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE

SOME BLACKS, SOME MEXICANS,

SOME..."

(SOUND EFFECTS)

"OH, MY GOD.

HERE'S A KNIFE.

DO SOMETHING WITH THE KNIFE."

(LAUGHTER)

AH, THAT'S BETTER.

THAT'S GREAT.

IT'S LIKE A BIG CAT FIGHT.

HEY, CHRISTINA LOPEZ!

REMEMBER-- LET GO OF ME--

YOU REMEMBER ME?

HEY, CHRISTINA, REMEMBER ME?

COME ON, HONEY.

LET'S GO.

(IMITATING CATS FIGHTING)

HUH?

YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.

(SOUND EFFECTS CONTINUE)

"YOU WANT SOME MORE?

PABLO, HOLD MY BABY.

COME ON.

LET'S GO, KID."

(PUNCHING SOUND EFFECTS)

THOUGH, MAN.

ONE OF THE CHIPPENDALE'S DANCER,

ONE OF THOSE LONG-HAIRED GUYS.

HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE GUYS WITH

THE LONG HAIR?

"WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT'S YOUR NAME-- SUSAN?

YEAH.

WHERE DID YOU SEE ME DANCE?

WHERE?

RIGHT ON.

YEAH.

LET'S GO OUT SOMETIME.

I'LL CHEAT ON YA.

ALL RIGHT.

TAKE CARE."

(LAUGHTER)

HE HAS PICTURES OF HIMSELF

IN THE LIVING ROOM.

HE SHAVES HIS (WHISTLES)

HE DOES.

HE SHAVES HIS HUEVOS.

I KNEW HE WAS DOING IT, TOO,

'CAUSE I LOOKED IN THE SINK,

AND I GO, "THIS HAIR DOESN'T

GROW ON THE CHIN.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT'S IN THERE?"

(MUSICAL SOUND EFFECTS)

IS THERE AFTERSHAVE THAT GOES ON

THERE?

"'HUEVOS SPLASH,' FOR THE MAN

WHO SHAVES HIS HUEVOS."

I CAN SEE THE COMMERCIAL

FOR THAT...

(TECHNO MUSIC SOUND EFFECTS)

"GOOD JOB, CHAD."

"THANKS A LOT.

YOU KNOW, BEING A MALE DANCER'S

HARD, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GOTTA

SHAVE YOUR HUEVOS.

THAT'S WHY I USE 'HUEVOS

SPLASH.'

♪ 'HUEVOS SPLASH,' YOU SEXY

MOTHER (BLEEP)." ♪♪

GOT TO GO.

THAT WAS FUN.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

I'M THE MAN YOU NEED.

ANYONE EVER HAD A MALE DANCER?

ANYONE?

ANYBODY?

THEY GO TO A PARTY, WALK IN

THERE DRESSED UP LIKE A COP.

THE GIRL OPENS UP HER PRESENT.

"THANKS A LOT, JULIE.

THANKS."

WALK IN THERE.

"HELLO.

IS AMY HERE?"

"OH, MY GOD.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

STEPHANIE, COME HERE.

THE COPS ARE HERE!"

"DO YOU OWN A BLUE CAMARO?"

"YES, I DO.

WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"I'M GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOU A

TICKET."

(TECHNO MUSIC SOUND EFFECTS)

"OH, MY GOD, IT'S A TRICK!

HA!

GIVE HIM THE MONEY."

AND YOU GIRLS JUST GIVE IT TO

HIM.

"THERE YOU GO."

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU,

THANK YOU, HIS LITTLE THING.

HE SAVES THAT MONEY, TOO.

I WAS MAKING FUN OF HIM, THOUGH,

ABOUT SHAVING HIS LITTLE THING

AND HIS FRIENDS GOT REALLY

PISSED OFF AND TOLD HIM.

AND HE COMES THROUGH THE HOUSE

ALL PISSED OFF.

"HEY, MAN.

HE'S COMING TO THE HOUSE TO KICK

YOUR ASS."

I CAN HEAR HIS CAR--

(SOUND EFFECTS)

"PABLO, DAVID SAID THAT, UH,

YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ME

SHAVING MY HUEVOS OR SOMETHING.

YOU KNOW WHAT, PABLO, MAN?

THIS IS MY JOB.

I TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, MAN!"

AND HE IS SAYING THIS WITH

TEN 1s IN HIS ASS, LIKE...

(SOUND EFFECTS)

AND THAT MONEY GETS USED.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

HE DOESN'T THROW IT OUT.

YOU KNOW?

"HEY, THE PIZZA GUY'S HERE."

"I GOT IT!"

(LAUGHTER)

THERE YOU GO, DUDE.

ALL RIGHT.

I COULD BE A MALE DANCER

AT DENNY'S WITH MY BODY.

LOOK AT THAT.

I DON'T EVEN WORK OUT.

I WORK ON ONE OF THOSE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THOSE?

"NOT SOLD IN STORES, JAN,

'CAUSE IT'S A PIECE OF (BLEEP)."

(LAUGHTER)

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ONE?

"I GOT THE IDEA BY SMOKING A LOT

OF POT.

I SLID ACROSS THE LINOLEUM FLOOR

TO GET SOME KAPTAIN KRUNCH.

AND THAT'S WHERE I CAME UP WITH

THE LAZY (BLEEP)."

WHAT'S THE OTHER ONE, THE ONE

INSTRUCTOR GUY, THE BALD?

"COME ON.

COME ON.

COME ON, NOW."

THAT GUY LOOKS LIKE A CROOK.

HE SHOULD HAVE "CRIME AEROBICS."

"OKAY.

LET'S RUN FROM THE POLICE.

LET'S RUN FROM THE POLICE.

LET'S CLIMB THE FENCE.

LET'S CLIMB THE FENCE.

LET'S STASH THE DOPE.

LET'S STASH THE DOPE.

DON'T BE SWEATING LIKE YOU GOT

MACE IN YOUR FACE, BITCH.

COME ON.

LET'S GO.

I'LL KICK YOUR ASS."

♪ (MUSIC PLAYS)

I'M GONNA PARTY TONIGHT.

I'M GONNA HAVE A GOOD TIME

TONIGHT.

I'LL PROBABLY GO TO THE MOVIES

OR SOMETHING.

GO TO THE MOVIES.

GO TO THE MOVIES FOR ONE REASON.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIES?

THAT ONE GUY WITH THE PREVIEWS

VOICE.

YOU GO THERE FOR THAT GUY?

(MIMICKING PREVIEW VOICE)

"ARE YOU READY?

ONE MAN, ONE DESIRE."

HAVE YOU HEARD THAT VOICE

BEFORE?

THAT IS THE WEIRDEST VOICE.

HE CAN DO ANYTHING WITH THAT

VOICE, YOU KNOW, BE...

(SOUND EFFECT)

(PREVIEW VOICE) "JEAN-CLAUDE

VAN DAMME IS BACK IN THE SAME

CRAP YOU'VE SEEN OVER AND OVER

AND OVER AGAIN."

THANK YOU.

WHOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

YOU CAN WORK WITH THAT VOICE.

(SOUND EFFECT)

(PREVIEW VOICE) "MORGAN FREEMAN,

KEANU REEVES.

THEY KNEW TOO MUCH."

(AS KEANU) "WE KNOW TOO MUCH."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

(PREVIEW VOICE) "THEY WENT TOO

FAR."

(KEANU) "WE WENT TOO FAR."

(PREVIEW VOICE) "THOSE ARE MY

LINES."

(KEANU) "THOSE ARE HIS LINES."

DID YOU KNOW THEY'RE ACTUALLY

COMING OUT NOW WITH ANOTHER

"FRIDAY THE 13th" MOVIE?

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

THOSE KIDS ARE SO EASY TO KILL.

YOU CAN STRANGLE THEM WITH A

CORDLESS PHONE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT?

THEY LOVE TO DIE, DON'T THEY?

THEY WALK INTO DANGER.

"HELLO.

IS ANYBODY IN HERE?

HELLO?"

(SOUND EFFECTS)

"BILLY?"

(SCARY SOUND EFFECTS)

"I'M GONNA GET NAKED AND TAKE

A SHOWER.

WHAT'S GOING ON?"

(PREVIEW VOICE)

"ACTION, ROMANCE, DESIRE."

I'D LOVE TO BE IN ONE OF THOSE

MOVIES.

YOU BE... (SCARY SOUND EFFECTS)

(PREVIEW VOICE)

"CRESCENT HEIGHTS WAS A PEACEFUL

COMMUNITY UNTIL AMY MOVED IN."

(MIMICS RINGING)

"HELLO?"

"I'M WATCHING YOU, AMY."

"OH, MY GOD!"

(PREVIEW VOICE) "SHE WENT TO THE

POLICE, BUT THEY COULDN'T HELP.

(COP VOICE) "I'M SORRY.

HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG."

(PREVIEW VOICE) "SO SHE WENT

TO DETECTIVE LESBIAN-LOOKING

PABLO FRANCISCO."

THAT'S RIGHT.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?"

"HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME, PABLO."

(PREVIEW VOICE) "DOUBLE THE

ACTION.

TRIPLE THE EXCITEMENT."

(MALE VOICE) "GET DOWN!"

(PREVIEW VOICE) "MORE THE

EXCITEMENT."

(MALE VOICE) "GET DOWN AGAIN! "

(PREVIEW VOICE) "WITH THE HELP

OF HIS MEXICAN GIRLFRIEND,

ROSA--"

"DON'T WORRY, AMY.

WE'LL KICK HIS ASSE."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

"I'M PISSED.

I GOT CALLER I.D."

(PREVIEW VOICE) "ROMANCE,

DESIRE."

THAT'S THE FUNNIEST VOICE, MAN.

IT'S A CRAZY VOICE.

THAT VOICE COULD TAKE ANY TOPIC,

REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT IS,

AND MAKE IT COOL.

YOU KNOW?

(SOUND EFFECTS)

(PREVIEW VOICE) "IN THE CITY YOU

MUST FIGHT TO SURVIVE.

HE SOLD TORTILLAS ON THE CORNER.

AND THE MOB WANTED IN."

(MOBSTER VOICE) "I DON'T KNOW

WHO THIS GUY IS, BUT I WANT HIM

AND HIS TORTILLAS DEAD."

(PREVIEW VOICE) "HE HAD ONE

CHANCE, AND HIS CHANCE WAS

TO FIGHT BACK... ARNOLD

SCHWARZENEGGER."

(AS ARNOLD) "LISTEN TO ME.

THESE ARE MY TORTILLAS AND I'M

NOT GOING TO..."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(ARNOLD) "YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF

HERE.

THEY'RE TRYING TO KILL YOU."

(PREVIEW VOICE) "AND MUSIC

SOUNDTRACK BY AARON NEVELLE.

(AS AARON) ♪ "YOU BETTER WATCH

OUT.

THEY'RE GONNA TAKE YOUR

TORTILLAS.

YOU BETTER GET... ♪

(PREVIEW VOICE) "THEY DIDN'T

KNOW WHO HE WAS."

"MIJITO, WHO ARE THOSE MEN WHO

CAME HERE?

WHAT DID THEY WANT?"

(ARNOLD) "LISTEN TO ME AND

DON'T-- LISTEN TO ME HERE.

YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE.

THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE MY

TORTILLAS."

(SOUND EFFECTS)

(SOUND OF HEART BEATING)

(PREVIEW VOICE) "ONE MAN, ONE

SOLUTION.

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER

THIS SUMMER IS...

LITTLE TORTILLA BOY."

YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN EXCELLENT.

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