Wiegel's Couples Therapy

  • Season 6, Ep 15
  • 07/08/2009

Wiegel and Williams work on their communication at couples therapy when Wiegel's insurance dries up.

AT JOHN McKAYHIGH SCHOOL

IN AN EFFORT TOKEEP OUR YOUNGFOLKS AS SAFE

AS POSSIBLE SO THAT THEYCAN FILL UP THEIR BRAINS

WITH FANCYBOOK-LEARNING.

PROTECTING THEM FROMEACH OTHER, I GUESS.

WE'VE ALSO STOPPEDBUYING BOOKSAS OF LAST YEAR.

YOU KNOWTHEY STOPPEDDOING THAT, RIGHT?

YEAH. YEAH.ART WAS THE FIRSTTO GO, THEN GYM.

NOW MATH, I THINK.

AND THEN ALL SPORTSEXCEPT FOR SOCCER.

YEAH.

AND IF YOU WONDERWHY THEY'REKEEPING

THE SOCCER, UH--

[HUMMING "MEXICANHAT DANCE"]

THAT'S A MUYINTERESANTEPREGUNTA.

HOLA.BIENVENIDOS.

[MACHINE BEEPS]HOLA.

OH, HEY, MA'AM?

OK.

DO YOU HAVE A PERMITFOR THAT? OF COURSE.

YEAH? CAN ISEE YOUR PERMITFOR THAT REAL QUICK?

REMEMBER, DON'TLOSE THAT.

YEAH.

IF YOU LOSE THAT,YOU HAVE TO WAIT

TILL EVERYBODY'SCLAIMED THEIRS, OK?

NO PISTOLES.

GRACIAS.

DO YOU HAVE A PERMITFOR THAT, PLEASE?

OH. OOH.YUP.

THIS IS--THIS ISTHE GLOCK, HUH?

YEAH.OH, THAT'S A NEW GLOCK.

OOH, THAT'S LIVE.

IT'S A NEW--LOOK ATTHE DETAILING IN THERE.

WOW.COMPARED TO THIS ONE.

BEAUTIFUL.

UNBELIEVABLE.YEAH. WOW.BEAUTIFUL.

I'D GIVE ANYTHING FORA GUN LIKE THAT.IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

NOW, LET ME CHECKTHIS FOR YOU.

NO, THAT'S MINE.THAT'S MINE.THAT'S MINE. HA HA!

OH, OH, OH.SORRY.

YEAH. OK. YEAH.

YEAH. OK.THERE WE GO.

I FEEL LIKE WE GREWUP IN A NORMAN ROCKWELLPAINTING--

BY COMPARISON?

KIDS RUNNING AROUNDRAPING EACH OTHER.

WE USED TO CHASEA--LITERALLY WE WOULDCHASE A WHEEL

WITH A STICK DOWNTHE STREET SOMETIMES.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

I MEAN, WE WEREPOOR, OBVIOUSLY.WHAT ARE YOU, 51?

51.51.

5--51--OH.

IS THIS THE ONEI THINK IT IS?

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

51, HOW DID IFORGET YOU?

OH, SHE'S A BEAUTY.

WOW.SHE IS A BEAUTY.

OK. TAKE CARE NOW.

WELL.

I'M JUST GLADHE'S ON OUR SIDE.

YEAH.NO [BLEEP].

I HOPE HE'SON OUR SIDE.

♪ IT'S OK TO HAVE TWO MOMS ♪

♪ IF YOUR DADS ARE GAY,THAT'S TOTALLY OK ♪

♪ WE CAN STILL BEFRIENDS IF BOTH YOURMOMS ARE LESBIANS ♪

♪ THERE'S ALL KINDSOF MOMMIES AND DADDIES ♪

♪ IN THE USA ♪

♪ SOME OF THEM AREFELLAS AND LADIES ♪

♪ AND OTHERS ARESTRAIGHT-UP TOTALLY GAY ♪

♪ WHEN JIMMY LOVES SUSIE,IT'S HUGS AND KISSES ♪

♪ BUT WHEN JIMMY LOVESANOTHER GUY NAMED JIMMY ♪

♪ MR. AND MR. MOMBOTH HAVE PENISES ♪

♪ TWO DADSARE COMFY AND COZY ♪

♪ TWO MOMS ARE FUN--ASKMY FRIEND ROSIE ♪

NO.OK, THAT'S A REFERENCETO ROSIE O'DONNELL--

THEY DIDN'T GET IT.

SHE WAS IN "A LEAGUEOF THEIR OWN"

AND HAD A VERY POPULARTALK SHOW...

FRIENDSWITH MADONNA.

PROBABLY BEFORE YOUWERE BORN.

COFFEE, PLEASE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

HERE YOU GO.

EVERY DAY FOR 9 YEARS,I'VE BEEN COMING

INTO BURGER COUSIN,AND EVERY DAY FOR 9 YEARS,SUSAN HAS BEEN GIVING ME

MY COFFEE JUST EXACTLYTHE WAY I LIKE IT,

WITH 8 HAZELNUTSAND 6 SPLENDAS.

BUT TODAY...SHE GIVESME BLACK COFFEE.

WHY?

BECAUSE SHE'SSENDING ME A SIGNAL.THEY'RE BEING ROBBED.

THEY'RE BEING ROBBED.GOD DAMN IT!

FREEZE, [BLEEP]!

WHOA!

HIT THE [BLEEP]GROUND, [BLEEP].

FREEZE, [BLEEP]!

DON'T YOU [BLEEP] MOVE!

ASSUME THE POSITION,[BLEEP].

I GOT YOUR SIGNAL.

WHOA.OH, MY GOD.

I GOT THE SIGNAL!

MY SIGNAL?

I--I DIDN'T GIVE YOUA SIGNAL.

YOU JUST GAVE MEA BLACK COFFEE.

YEAH.

YOU ASKED FOR A COFFEE.

I'VE BEEN COMING INEVERY DAY FOR 9 YEARS,AND YOU GIVE ME

A COFFEE WITH8 HAZELNUTSAND 6 SPLENDAS.

NO, I DIDN'T GIVEYOU A SIGNAL.NOBODY'S ROBBING--

OH. OK.

IS YOUR HANDNECESSARY ON MY--

OK.

OUT OF EVERYBODYIN HERE...YEAH.

WHY DID YOU POINTTHE GUN AT ME?

I DON'T FEEL LIKE I DID.

YOU VERY SPECIFICALLYTARGETED HIM.

I DON'T THINK THAT'SACCURATE. AHEM.

AND YOU PUSHED HIM UPAGAINST OUR CASH MACHINE.

DID I?DID I BUMP YOU?

YES.DID I BUMP YOU?

YOUR HAND WASON MY ASS.

COME ON, BRO.

I DON'T--I DON'T--BRO?

THIS ONE WILL BEMY MULLIGAN, OK?

THIS IS SO MY BAD.

AND ALL YOU[BLEEP], DON'T EVERROB ANYTHING, AND--

ESPECIALLYTHE BLACK [BLEEP].

[LAUGHING]HEY!

COME ON, MAN.

Man: HEY!

Second man: HEY, HOW AREYOU GUYS DOING TODAY?

ARE YOU GUYS READY TO LEARNABOUT HEALTH INSURANCE?

YEAH!

WHO KNOWS WHATHEALTH IS?ANYONE KNOW?

WELL, I THINK THE DEFINITIONOF HEALTH IS NOT HAVING

A PREEXISTING MEDICALCONDITION THAT YOUDON'T TELL

THE COMPANY ABOUT.

Man:DING DING DING DING.

WE GOT A WINNEROVER HERE.

Second man:THAT'S A GOOD ANSWER.

Dangle:YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

YOU GIVE US $500 A MONTH,AND WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU.

PRETTY MUCH IF--MOSTTHINGS ARE COVERED.

ARE YOU SAYING--

LET'S ASK YOU THIS.

WHAT IS THE SCARIEST THINGYOU THINK COULD HAPPEN

TO YOUR BODY?

BEAR ATTACK.

BEAR ATTACK.

WE WOULD COVER THAT.

YOU WOULD COVERA BEAR ATTACK?

IF YOU'RE ON THE JOB...YEAH.

AND YOU GET--IF YOU'REIN YOUR WORKPLACEAND YOU GET ATTACKED

BY A BEAR,WE WILL COVER THAT.

IN THE WORKPLACE.

WORKPLACEIN HERE?

ANY ANIMAL ATTACKSTHAT HAPPENWITHIN THE BUILDING--

Dangle: COVERED.

YOU ARE 100% COVERED.

INSIDE THE BUILDING.

MINUS ATTACK DOGS THAT AREALREADY IN THE BUILDING.

I'M GOING TO TALK TO YOUABOUT SOMETHING, THOUGH,

BECAUSE THIS IS A LITTLEBIT OF A WAVY AREA.

IF YOU BRING INAN ANIMAL

THAT SOMEONE--NOT EVEN YOU--BRINGS

INTO THE FACILITY,THEN THAT IS CANCELLED.

ANY ANIMALWITH AN OWNER.

IF WE HAVE A BREAK-IN,

LIKE A WILD ANIMALBREAKS IN, THAT'S

THE ONLY WAYWE'RE COVERED.

Jones: A BEAR HASTO WALK IN HEREAND ATTACK US.

First instructor:AND, YOU KNOW,THAT'S IT.

I'M GOING TOGO BACK TO THEBREAK-IN QUESTION.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TODO THAT, BUT IF IT DOES,YOU'LL BE COVERED.

IT SOUNDS LIKE WHATYOU'RE SAYING IS

THAT A BEAR CAN'T BEALSO LED IN HERE.

THE BEAR HAS TO WANDERIN HERE ON ITS OWN.

Travis: YOUCAN'T LUREA BEAR.

RIGHT. YOU CAN'T LURE...

First instructor:I WANT TO ADDRESSTHE BREAK-IN QUESTION.

WE DON'T COVER ITIF A BEAR BREAKS INBECAUSE THAT WOULD

BE THEFT,AND THAT'S A WHOLEDIFFERENT THING.

THAT'S IN ANOTHERINSURANCE.

THAT'S YOURHOME INSURANCE.

THIS IS IFA BEAR WALKEDTHROUGH THE DOOR--

Travis: WITHOUTANY OBSTRUCTIONAT ALL.

EXACTLY.

SOMETHING THAT YOU AREAFRAID OF.

HUH?

DIG DEEPAND LOOK AT TRUDY.

I'M LISTENING.I'M REALLY LISTENING.

YOU'RE HEARING ISWHAT YOU'RE DOING.

I HEAR HER--OH, NOWI'M HEARING YOU.

Therapist:IF YOU WERE JUST LISTENING,I'D HAVE TO STOP YOU.

OK.

YOU NEED TO HEAR.I THINK IT'S HEAR.

I HEAR YOU.

AH, I DON'T KNOW.

I FORGET WHATIT--[SIGH]. I'M SORRY.

I AM--I AM AFRAID...

[THERAPIST EXHALES DEEPLY]

[WHISPERING]of...

YOU CALL MEA [BLEEP] ONEMORE TIME,

I'M GONNA REALLY SLAPTHE [BLEEP] OUT OF YOU.

GOOD SHARE.

GOOD SHARE.

TRUDY, HOW DOESTHAT MAKE YOU FEEL?

AFRAID.

YEAH.

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