February 5, 2014 - Lake Street Dive

  • 02/05/2014

Critics argue that Obamacare will destroy jobs, Mort Zuckerman weighs in on Tom Perkins' Nazi analogy, and Lake Street Dive performs a song from "Bad Self Portraits."

>> TONIGHT: WHAT IS AMERICA'SNEW OPPRESSED MINORITY?

IN THE OFFICEPOOL, I PICKED GAY INUIT.

THEN THE OBAMAADMINISTRATION HAS A

BREAKTHROUGH IN NEW ENERGY,THEY'RE HOOKING BIDEN UP TO

A GERBIL WHEEL. AND MY GUESTSDESCRIBE THEMSELVES

AT TWO GIRLS, TWO GUYS AND AWHOLE LOT OF FEELING.

FINE BUT THEY'RE STILLSPLITTING ONE CHEESE PLATE.

NEW YORK CITY IS RUNNING LOWON ROAD SALT.

NO WONDER MY COMMUTE WAS SOBLAND.

THIS IS THE COLBERT REPORT

THANK YOU LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THE

REPORT.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

>> Stephen: FOLKS, THANK YOUSO MUCH.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IDON'T SAY THIS EVERY NIGHT

WHEN I GO ON AIR.

THERE IS NO DOUBT THATTONIGHT I AM IN A TERRIFIC

MOOD.

YES, YES!

IT'S FREEZING OUT.

YES, DIRTY SLUSH ISEVERYWHERE, AND YES I HAD TO

PUSH A FRAIL WOMAN IN FRONTOF A SALT TRUCK TO GET A CAB

(LAUGHTER)ONCE AGAIN MY APOLOGIES TO

DORIS KEARNS GOODWIN.

BUT STILL I COULD NOT BEHAPPIER BECAUSE YESTERDAY

THE CONGRESSIONAL BUDGETOFFICE RELEASED PROJECTIONS

ON THE NUMBER OF JOBSOBAMACARE WILL COST AND THE

NEWS IS HORRIBLE.

(LAUGHTER)JIM?

>> TURNS OUT THE CBO NOWSAYS PRESIDENT'S HEALTH CARE

LAW WILL CUT THE NUMBER OFFULL-TIME JOBS THE UNITED

STATES BY 2.3 MILLION BY2021.

>> IT'S A BOMBSHELL HAS BEENDROPPED BY THE CONGRESSIONAL

BUDGET OFFICE WHICH IS THEGOVERNMENT'S OWN BEAN

COUNTERS.

>> THIS WAS REALLY KIND OF ASURPRISE AND A FRESH BELOW

TO THE PRESIDENT'S HEALTHCARE LAW.

>> THIS IS A JOB KILLER.

>> I TOLD YOU.

(LAUGHTER)OH, NOBODY BELIEVED ME WHEN

I SAID OBAMACARE WAS A JOBKILLER.

AND NOW IT IS.

IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF TIMEBEFORE THEY ROLL OUT THE

DEATH PANELS AND ELDERCATAPULTS.

I BROKE THAT STORY.

BUT NO SURPRISE, OBAMAUNLEASHED HIS ECONOMIC NERD

PATROL TO EXPLAIN AWAY THENUMBERS.

>> IN FACT, WHAT CBO FOUND,AND THIS IS THEIR SUMMARY

QUOTE NEAR THE TOP OFAPPENDIX C, AGAIN, SO THE

ESTIMATED REDUCTION, THIS ISTHE REDUCTION IN THE TOTAL

QUANTITY OF LABOR, ALL OF YOUHAVE TALKED ABOUT, SO THE

ESTIMATED REDUCTION STEMSALMOST ENTIRELY FROM A NET

DECLINE IN THE AMOUNT OFLABOR THAT WORKERS CHOOSE TO

SUPPLY RATHER THAN FROM ANET DROP IN BUSINESSES

DEMAND FOR LABOR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> Stephen: MOM, I DON'T WANT

TO GO TO SCHOOL.

RIGHT, TV.

OKAY.

BACK IN THE GAME, OKAY.

WHERE WAS I.

OKAY, SURE, SURE, WHAT THEPROFESSOR SAID IS

TECHNICALLY TRUE.

OBAMACARE GIVES PEOPLEHEALTH CARE OPTIONS ALLOWING

THEM TO WORK LESS IF THEYCHOOSE.

BUT WHAT LOOKS BETTER ON ABUMPER STICKER, OBAMACARE JOB

KILLER VOTE GOP OROBAMACARE'S ESTIMATED

REDUCTION IN THE WORKFORCESTEMS ALMOST ENTIRELY FROM A

NET DECLINE IN THE AMOUNT OFLABOR THAT WORKERS CHOOSE TO

SUPPLY RATHER THAN FROM ANET DROP IN BUSINESSES

DEMAND FOR LABOR, VOTEDEMOCRAT.

BESIDES, BESIDES, PEOPLESHOULD BE CHAINED BY THEIR

THEIR NEED FOR INSURANCE TOJOBS THEY HATE.

THAT IS WHAT BUILT THISCOUNTRY.

YOU THINK ANYONE WANTED TOBE A PILGRIM?

NO!

BUT THEY STUCK IT OUT FORTHE BUCKLE INSURANCE.

(LAUGHTER)EVEN THEN, EVEN THEN IT WAS

A PRETTY HIGH BUCKLEDEDUCTIBLE.

-- DEDUCTIBLE.

(LAUGHTER)BUCKLE DEDUCTIBLE.

(LAUGHTER)IN OTHER NEWS, FOLKS, IT'S

NO SECRET THAT AMERICA'SWEALTHY ARE UNDER

SIEGE. IT'S LIKE THEFRENCH REVOLUTION THESE

DAYS.

BUT OUR POOR PEOPLE ARE TOOLAZY TO PUT ON UPLIFTING

MUSICALS.

BUT THEY'VE GOT PLENTY OFENERGY TO DEMONIZE MY FRIEND

VENTURE CAPITALIST TOMPERKINS.

HE IS SUDDENLY PUBLIC ENEMYNUMBER ONE JUST BECAUSE HE

HAD THE COURAGE TO SPEAKTRUTH TO POVERTY.

>> THERE IS OUTRAGE TODAYOVER COMMENTS MADE BY

VENTURE CAPITALIST TOMPERKINS IN A LETTER TO THE

EDITOR OF "THE WALL STREETJOURNAL" HE WROTE QUOTING

NOW WRITING FROM THE EPICENTER OF PROGRESSIVE

THOUGHT, SAN FRANCISCO, IWOULD CALL ATTENTION TO THE

PARALLELS OF FASCIST NAZIGERMANY TO ITS WAR ON ITS 1%,

NAMELY ITS JEWS TO THEPROGRESSIVE WAR ON THE

AMERICAN 1% NAMELY THE RICH.

>> Stephen: WELL SAID,TOMING WELL SAID.

THERE IS NO BETTER WAY TOFIGHT BIGOTRY THAN EQUATING JEWS

TO A WEALTHY CABAL.

NOW SOME SAYMR. PERKINS HERE IS OUT OF

TOUCH.

BUT I THINK HE IS SPOT ONWITH HIS NAZI ANALOGY.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO ELSECALLED THEIR ENEMIES NAZIS,

THE JEWS.

IT LOOKS LIKE AN ANTI-SEMITENOW?

IT'SSTILL ME? OK

GOT TO WORK ON THAT.

GOT TO WORK ON THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

>> WELL, DESPITE NEARUNIVERSAL CONDEMNATION TOM

PERKINS SOMEHOW FOUND THECOURAGE TO GO ON A NETWORK

OWNED BY A BILLIONAIRE TOMAKE HIS CASE TO THE

NONBILLIONAIRES.

>> YOU ARE AMULTIMILLIONAIRE.

>> NO, I'M NOT A BILLIONAIRE>> I SAID MULTIMILLIONAIRE.

>> I CREATED SOMEBILLIONAIRES BUT I

UNFORTUNATELY AM NOTONE.

I CAN BUY A SIXPACK-OF-ROLEXES, BUT SO

WHAT.

>> SO WHAT, HE'S JUST AREGULAR NONBILLIONAIRE JOE

SIX PACK OF ROLEXES.

BUT SOMEHOW THIS APPEARANCEFAILED TO WIN OVER THE 99%

THANKS TO PRESIDENT OBAMALIBAND THE PROGRESSIVECRAT

DEMAGOGUING ABOUT INCOMEINEQUALITY, THE POPE ATTACKING

THE SO-CALLED IDOLATRY OFMONEY AND HOLLYWOOD

VILIFYING THETHE WEALTHIEST 1% OF

DRAGONS.

I MEAN COME ON, COME ON, THEdesLATION OF SMAUG?

HOW ABOUT THE APPRECIATIONOF SMAUG.

DON'T GET MAD AT HIM JUSTBECAUSE HE WAS SMART ENOUGH

TO PUT EVERYTHING IN GOLD.

I MEAN NO WONDER WE WEALTHYFEEL OUR ENEMIES CLOSING IN.

AS ONE ANONYMOUS 1%ER TOLD"POLITICO" THE RICH FEAR

THEY'RE IN DEEP, DEEPTROUBLE.

YOU HAVE A BUNCH OF PEOPLEWHO SEE CONSPIRACIES

EVERYWHERE.

YES, BECAUSE CONSPIRACIESARE EVERYWHERE.

TELL ME THIS, IF THERE IS NOPLOT AGAINST THE RICH PEOPLE,

HOW COME SOMEONE IS KEEPINGA LIST OF THE RICHEST

PEOPLE?

(LAUGHTER)OKAY?

THINK ABOUT IT.

OH, OH, AND THE RICH WON'TBE SAFE AT HOME.

I MEAN THERE ARE MILLIONS OFPOOR PEOPLE OUT THERE.

JUST LOOK AT THE SECURITYCAMERA FOOTAGE OUTSIDE MY

GATED COMMUNITY.

DON'T, DON'T, DON'T LET ONEOF THEM BITE YOU.

THAT'S HOW YOU BECOME POORTOO.

DO WHAT I DO, TO HOLD THEMAT BAY I ALWAYS CARRY A

PHOTO OF ME AND BONO.

SO WHEN THE POORS COME FOR MEI CAN PROVE I KNOW A GUY

WHO DOES AFRICA STUFF.

THE POINT IS, THIS IS CLASSWARFARE PLAIN AND SIMPLE,

AND THAT SHOULD NOT HAPPENIN AMERICA BECAUSE WE ARE A

COUNTRY WITHOUT CLASSDISTINCTION.

HERE TO AGREE WITH ME ISREAL ESTATE DEVELOPER, OWNER

OF THE "NEW YORK DAILY NEWS",AND FELLOW AMERICAN, MORT

ZUCKERMAN, THANKS SO MUCHFOR COMING OUT.

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

MORT --(APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: NOW MORT, IHAVEN'T SEEN YOU AT THE

CLUB LATELY TO TALK ABOUTTHIS.

BUT YOU DO ALL RIGHT.

DO YOU BELIEVE OUR FELLOWWEALTHY ARE TRULY WORRIED

ABOUT ALL THIS DEMAGOGUERY

>> I THINK SOME OF THEM ARE.

I ACTUALLY THINK THE ISSUEIS NOT REALLY THE WEALTHY,

THE ISSUE IS THE FACT THATWE HAVE A HUGE NUMBER OF

PEOPLE WHO ARE UNEMPLOYED ORUNDEREMPLOYED, IT'S NOT A

QUESTION OF JUST INEQUALITY,A QUESTION OF NO JOBS.

>> Stephen: SO EVEN THEPEOPLE WITHOUT DO THINGS

LIKE CALLING FOR A HIGHERMINIMUM WAGE ARE CALLING FOR

HIGHER TAXES ON THE WEALTHY,A REDIRECTION OF WEALTH,

THOSE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TOWHIP UP POOR PEOPLE WHO

DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANDTHEY'RE CHOOSING GUYS LIKE

YOU AND ME AS EASY TARGETS?

>> WELL, I MEAN, I CERTAINLYTHINK YOU ARE AN EASY

TARGET.

>> Stephen: WELL, I DON'THAVE YOUR SECURITY TEAM.

>> INTO, I THINK LOOK, IHAPPEN TO BELIEVE IN

PROGRESSIVE TAXATION.

I DON'T HAVE DIFFICULTY WITHTHAT.

I HOPE TO BELIEVE IN A FAIRWAGE BUT I DO THINK WHEN YOU

HAVE AS WE DO HAVE TODAY 40MILLION PEOPLE IN THIS

COUNTRY WHO ARE EITHERPART-TIME WORKERS OR HAVE NO

JOBS AND HAVE GIVEN UPLOOKING FOR WORK, WE HAVEN'T

SEEN THAT IN NOT SINCE THE1930s.

THAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM INTHIS COUNTRY.

>> Stephen: YOU WROTE THATANONYMOUS QUOTE, THAT SOME

RICH PEOPLE ARE GETTINGWORRIED THAT THEY'RE BEING

MADE SCAPE GOATS, DO YOUFEEL THAT IT'S FAIR.

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK IT'SFAIR FOR US TO BE TARGETED

JUST BECAUSE WE'VE DONEWELL.

>> LISTEN,.

>> Stephen: I DON'T FINDTHAT FUNNY.

(LAUGHTER)>> LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY.

THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ACERTAIN SORT OF-- AS THE

FRENCH WOULD SAY OF THE-- .

>> Stephen: I'M NOT SURE IFWE CAN SAY THAT ON

TELEVISION.

>> WHAT IS THAT.

>> THERE HAS ALWAYS BEEN ACERTAIN HOSTILITY IN THIS

COUNTRY TO THE WEALTHY.

IT HAS BEEN WITH US FOR A100 YEARS AND IT'S

UNDERSTANDABLE.

BUT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN A PARTOF THIS COUNTRY THAT IF YOU

HAVE ENERGY AND TALENT YOUCAN MOVE UP THE INCOME LADDER

OR WEALTH LADDER UP TO YOUROWN ABILITIES AND THAT'S

BEEN A PART OF MAKES THISCOUNTRY GREAT.

>> Stephen: YOU USED TOSUPPORT OBAMA ARE YOU STILL

ON BOARD.

>> NO, I STOPPED BEING ASUPPORTER OF HIS BECAUSE I

THOUGHT HIS POLICIES DID NOTDO EXACTLY WHAT I WAS

TALKING ABOUT TO CREATEENOUGH JOBS AND STIMULATE

THE ECONOMY.

I THOUGHT HE HAD A VERY WEAKRECOVERY PROGRAM FROM WHAT

WAS A RECESSION THAT WE WEREIN.

AND THAT, WHEN I SAW THAT,AND I WAS UP CLOSE TO HIM,

THAT HE WAS MORE FOCUSED ONTHE POLITICS OF ISSUE THAN

ON THE SUBSTANCE OF THEISSUE, I THOUGHT THIS GUY IS

NOT SERIOUS ABOUT WHAT ITHINK IS THE MOST SERIOUS

PROBLEM IN THE COUNTRY.

WHICH IS A LACK OF JOBS FORENOUGH PEOPLE.

>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOUTHINK OF MY FRIEND TOM

PERKINS ANALOGY THAT RICHPEOPLE ARE IN DANGER OF

BEING TREATED LIKE THE JEWSIN NAZI GERMANY, DO YOU

THINK THAT IS A FAIRCOMPARISON.

>> I THINK IT AN OUTRAGEOUSCOMPARESON.

>> Stephen: I AGREE WITH YOUBECAUSE THE PEASANTS RISING

UP AGAINST THE URBAN ELITEIS REALLY MORE LIKE THE

KHMER ROUGE, ISN'T IT?

>> WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT ISVILLIFYING OF THE RICH.

THE POPE UPSETS ME, YOUKNOW, THAT HE SAID, YOU KNOW

THERE IS THE IDOLATRY OFMONEY.

AND IS HE UPSETTING YOUENOUGH TO LEAVE THE CATHOLIC

CHURCH?

ARE YOU THINKING OF LEAVING.

>> SUCH A GOOD QUESTION BUTI WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO MY

RABBI BEFORE I GET BACK TOYOU ON THAT.

>> Stephen: PLEASE.

(APPLAUSE)THANK YOU, MORT, MORT

ZUCKERMAN, EVERYBODY.

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

MY GUESTS TONIGHT PLAY A COMBINATION OF POP, SWING

AND BLUEGRASS. WHAT, NO GREGORIAN CHANT? PLEASE

WELCOME LAKE STREET DIVE.

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR COMING ON.

RACHEL, BRIGITTE, MIKE ANDMIKE OR IS IT ONE MICHAEL

AND ONE MIKE OR BOTH MIKE.

>> I WOULD SAY MICHAELSOMETIMES.

McDUCK.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

>> I WILL GO MIKE NORDIC,MIKE ITALIAN.

ALL RIGHT, OKAY, YOU ARELAKE STREET DIVE.

YOU GUYS EXPLODEDTHIS YEAR WITH A

YOUTUBE VIDEO, EVERYBODYWATCHED.

YOU DID A GREAT COVER OF I WANTYOU BACK BY THE JACKSON 5.

ARE YOU ALSO THE WHAT DOES THEFOX SAY GUYS?

>> UNFORTUNATELY, NOT.

>> NO, OKAY.

>> DIDN'T RECEIVE THAT.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

GOT A COUPLE OF QUESTIONSHERE, TO CUT.

FIRST TELEVISION APPEARANCE,TONIGHT.

>> VERY FIRST.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: ARE YOU GUYS

READY FOR THE BUMP.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: READY FOR THECOLBERT BUMP.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: WHERE DID YOUMEET?

>> IN COLLEGE AT THE NEWENGLAND CONSERVATORY OF

MUSIC IN BOSTON.

>> Stephen: WHAT IS ACONSERVATORY?

IS THAT THE PLACE WHERECOLONEL MUSTARD KILLS YOU

WITH A CANDLESTICK, WHAT ISTHAT.

>> IT'S A PLACE WHERE,CONSERVATORY OF MUSIC IS

WHERE YOU STUDY MUSIC ANDYOU DON'T GENERALLY STUDY

OTHER SUBJECTS.

YOU STUDY JUST MUSIC.

>> Stephen: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

>> VERY FOCUSED.

>> Stephen: SO IS THISCLASSICAL MUSICAL TRAINING.

>> WE STUDY JAZZ.

>> Stephen: THEN WHY I DOLIKE YOUR MUSIC?

>> WELL, WE TOOK OTHERINFLUENCES AND PUT THEM INTO

THE MUSIC THAT WE MAKE.

>> Stephen: OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

THIS, THE ALBUM IS CALLEDBAD SELF-PORTRAIT.

AND WHAT DOES THAT NAME MEAN,IS IT THE MASHUP OF BOB

DYLAN SELF-PORTRAIT ANDMICHAEL JACKSON'S BAD?

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, BADSELF-PORTRAIT BECAUSE YOU

ALL ARE VERY ATTRACTIVEYOUNG PEOPLE.

WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BADSELF SELF-PORTRAIT.

>> WELL, I THINK BADSELF-PORTRAITS ARE SOMETHING

THAT YOU SEE AROUND A LOTRIGHT NOW.

IT'S KIND OF LIKE THE STUPIDEST ZEITGEIST

>> Stephen: LIKE INSTAGRAM,PEOPLE SELFIES AND SEND THEM

AROUND.

>> YEAH, THEY'RE EVERYWHEREAND THEY'RE AWFUL.

>> Stephen: RIGHT.

>> WE MADE AN ALBUM OUT OFTHAT.

>> Stephen: YOU INSULTED ALARGE AMOUNT OF OUR AUDIENCE

RIGHT NOW THAT IS VERYCOURAGEOUS OF YOU. IF YOU

STUDIED JAZZ WHAT DID YOUTHINK YOU WOULD BE PLAYING,

YOU KNOW, WHAT DID YOUIMAGINE WOULD HAPPEN WITH

YOUR CAREERS.

>> WE ALL THOUGHT WE WEREGOING TO BE JAZZ MUSICIANS

ORIGINALLY.

>> Stephen: SO YOU WEREGOING FOR THE BIG MONEY.

>> EXACTLY, YEAH.

>> Stephen: BUT WE ON OURFIRST TOUR ACTUALLY VERY

FIRST TIME WE RAN A TOURTOGETHER WE RODE AROUND AND

MADE A PLAY LIST OF MUSIC WECOULD LISTEN TO TOGETHER

WHILE YOU KNOW ON THOSE LONGSTRETCHES BETWEEN CITIES AND

YOU KNOW PAUL SIMON CAME UPA LOT, THE BEATLES CAME UP A

LOT, BOB DYLAN CAME UP A LOT,SO WE WERE LIKE LET'S DO

THAT INSTEAD MAYBE.

>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.

NOW YOU HAVE BEEN SINGINGSINCE YOU WERE JUST A KID, I

HAVE SEEN VIDEOS ON YOUTUBEOF WHEN YOU WERE 12.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen: SINGING WITH THECHOIR.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: DID YOU THINKYOU WOULD BE SINGING

RELIGIOUS MUSIC THROUGHOUTYOUR LIFE?

>> WELL, I, NO, NO, PROBABLYNOT.

>> Stephen: THAT WAS A VERYUNCOMFORTABLE ANSWER IS

THERE A DISAPPOINTEDPREACHER SOMEWHERE IN YOUR

PAST.

>> NO, THERE'S NOT.

MY PARENTS ARE VERY PROUDAND HAPPY.

>> Stephen: OKAY, GOOD.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: DID I STRIKE ANERVE?

NO?

OKAY.

MIKE, I READ SOMEPLACE THATYOU SAID THAT IF YOU COULD

GO BACK IN TIME,YOU WOULDPLAY THIS ALBUM TO YOUR

YOUNGER SELF-SELF, WHY?

>> BECAUSE BACK TEN YEARSAGO WE WEREN'T DOING

ANYTHING LIKE THIS AND IF WECOULD JUMP FORWARD TO THIS

TEN YEARS AGO, THEN WE WOULDBE A MUCH DIFFERENT BAND

THEN WE WERE TODAY.

>> Stephen: I JUST WANT TOGET THIS STRAIGHT.

SO I JUST WANT, JUST SO I'MCLEAR, JUST SO I'M CLEAR.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIMEYOU WOULD PLAY THIS TO

YOURSELF, YOU WOULDN'T GOKILL HITLER.

THIS IS YOUR FIRST CHOICE?

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> COULD I,.

>> Stephen: COULD YOU PLEASEDO A SONG.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITHLAKE STREET DIVE

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR THEREPORT, EVERYBODY, GOOD

NIGHT.