December 12, 2013 - George Packer

  • 12/12/2013

Congress agrees on a budget, a sleeping aid has terrifying side effects, Megyn Kelly argues that Santa is white, and author George Packer discusses "The Unwinding."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

"REPORT,"!

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

COME ON!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN").

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, LADIESAND GENTLEMEN.

I NEED THAT KIND OF PRAISE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FOLKS, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, I

NEED THAT KIND OF PRAISE BECAUSEI AM FURIOUS!

AND NO AMOUNT OF YOUR APPLAUSEWILL CHANGE MY MOOD.

SO DON'T EVEN TRY IT AGAIN.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?

SORRY.

NO, NO.

ACTUALLY, ACTUALLY -- I WASWRONG, THAT WORKED.

(LAUGHTER)YOU KNOW WHAT, JIM?

YOU BETTER MAKE ME MAD AGAIN.

>> CONGRESSIONAL LEADERS HAVEAGREED TO A NEW BUDGET DEAL.

THE PACT IS SUPPOSED TOELIMINATE THE CONTINUOUS CYCLE

OF STANDOFF AND GOVERNMENTSHUTDOWN THREATS.

THEY'RE CALLING IT THEBIPARTISAN BUDGET ACT OF 2013.

>> THEY ACTUALLY PASSED ABUDGET.

I MEAN, THE FACT THAT WE HAVE TOAPPLAUD THAT IS UNBELIEVABLE.

BUT IT'S A GOOD THING.

THEY'RE ACTUALLY DOING THEIRJOB.

>> Stephen: WRONG!

IT IS NOT A GOOD THING AND THEYARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB.

AMERICANS SENT REPUBLICANS TOWASHINGTON TO ACCOMPLISH ONE

THING: ZERO THINGS.

(LAUGHTER)BUT WITH THIS BIPARTISAN BUDGET

WE'LL HAVE NO CHANCE OF ANOTHERGOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN FOR TWO

WHOLE YEARS!

YOU FOOLS!

WE CAN'T LEAVE OUR NATIONALPARKS OPEN THAT LONG!

IT WILL GIVE THE WOLVES TIME TOUNIONIZE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHAT I DON'T GET HERE IS THAT

THERE WERE PLENTY OF GOODCONSERVATIVE BUDGET PLANS OUT

THERE!

>> THE PENNY PLAN IS YOU DROP APENNY OUT OF EVERY DOLLAR

WASHINGTON SPENDS EVERY YEAR FORFIVE YEARS.

ONE PENNY IN EVERY DOLLAR FORFIVE STRAIGHT YEARS.

EVERYBODY.

ACROSS THE BOARD.

THIS IS THE BUDGET, LIVE WITHIT.

NOW THAT'S -- IMPLIESDISCIPLINE.

>> Stephen: YES, THE PENNYPLAN IMPLIES DISCIPLINE.

JUST AS STU VARNEY'S ACCENTIMPLIES INTELLIGENCE.

(LAUGHTER)IN FACT, I TELL YOU WHAT, FOLKS.

I'VE GOTTEN A EVEN BETTER PENNYPLAN FOR YOU.

YOU JUST FILL A JAR WITH PENNIESAND WHICH EVER GOVERNMENT AGENCY

CAN GUESS HOW MANY THERE AREWINS THE JAR, WHICH IS NOW THEIR

BUDGET.

(LAUGHTER).

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)EIGHT.

AND WHAT REALLY HURTS IS WHOSTABBED US IN THE FISCAL BACK.

REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN ANDREAGAN TRIBUTE SCALP PAUL RYAN.

JUST LISTEN TO THE LAME WAY HEDEFENDS HIMSELF FROM REAL

CONSERVATIVES.

>> MARCO RUBIO SAID THIS,THOUGH, LAST NIGHT.

"YOUR DEAL IS GOING TO MAKE ITHARDER FOR AMERICANS TO ACHIEVE

THE AMERICAN DREAM."

WHAT WILL YOU SAY TO MARCO?

>> READ THE DEAL AND GET BACK TOME.

>> Stephen: "READ THE DEAL ANDGET BACK TO ME"?

THE GALL.

LISTEN, BUDDY, I DON'T HAVE TOREAD A BIPARTISAN BUDGET TO KNOW

I DESPISE IT ANY MORE THAN INEED TO READ "HAROLD AND THE

PURPLE CRAYON" TO KNOW THAT ITENDS WITH HAROLD COMING OUT AS A

LESBIAN.

(LAUGHTER)OKAY?

IT'S ALL ABOUT BOUNDLESSIMAGINATION, ALSO KNOWN AS

SCISSORING.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)SO IF YOU EXCUSE ME, THERE'S

SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO.

OKAY?

I CAN'T BELIEVE I -- I CAN'TBELIEVE I --

(LAUGHTER).

I CAN'T BELIEVE I HUNG THISPOSTER ON THE CEILING OF MY

DREAM CLOSET.

I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR A NEW 2016FANTASY CANDIDATE.

OH, TED CRUZ.

(LAUGHTER)OH, TED CRUZ, YOU'LL NEVER

BETRAY ME.

OH, TED, HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING

NATION, GROWING UP, FOLKS, WHENI GOT A COLD THERE WAS NOTHING

MORE COMFORTING THAN A BIG BOWLOF MY GRANDMA'S CHICKEN SOUP.

SHE PUT A TON OF MORPHINE IN IT.

(LAUGHTER)THIS IS CHEATING DEATH WITH

DR. STEPHEN T. COLBERT D.F.A.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YES, SIR, YES, SIR.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AS ALWAYS, FOLKS, "CHEATING

DEATH" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BYPRESCOTT PHARMACEUTICALS.

PRESCOTT.

YOU CAN CHEMICALLY DEPEND ON US.

(LAUGHTER)FIRST UP, SLEEP HEALTH.

FOLKS, A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP ISTHE BEST WAY TO NATURALLY

RESTORE YOU WHICH IS WHY ITTAKES POWERFUL CHEMICALS TO MAKE

IT HAPPEN.

CHEMICALS LIKE AMBIEN.

BUT EARLIER THIS YEAR WE GOTNEWS THAT WAS A REAL EYE

OPENER-- UNLESS YOU'RE ONAMBIEN.

>> NOW A WARNING FOR PEOPLE WHOTAKE AMBIEN.

A GOVERNMENT REPORT OUT THISMORNING REVEALS DANGEROUS SIDE

EFFECTS LIKE HALLUCINATIONS,BEHAVIORAL CHANGES, THINGS LIKE

AGITATION, SLEEP DRIVING, SLEEPWALKING, SLEEP EATING WHERE

YOU'RE IN THIS SORT OF HALFSTATE OF SLEEP BUT YOU'RE ALSO

AWAKE AND FUNCTIONING.

>> Stephen: HEY, THAT'S JUSTWHAT I CALL MULTITASKING.

(LAUGHTER)YOU CAN GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP

WHILE STILL DRIVING TO WORKEATING A WHOLE BOX OF BROWNIE

MIX.

(LAUGHTER)BUT FOR PATIENTS OUT THERE WHO

PREFER WAKING UP NOT WANDERINGTHROUGH THE NEXT COUNTY, THERE'S

A NEW ALTERNATIVE.

IT'S CALLED SUVOREXANT, MERCK'SSLEEP DRUG CURRENTLY SEEKING

APPROVAL FROM THE F.D.A. WHICHIS INSPIRED BY RESEARCH ON

NARCOLEPTIC DOGS, WHICH IS ISIMPORTANT WORK BECAUSE NOTHING

HURTS YOUR SELF-ESTEEM LIKE ADOG FALLING ASLEEP IN THE MIDDLE

OF HUMPING YOUR LEG.

(LAUGHTER)BUT, FOLKS, SUVOREXANT IS

EFFECTIVE WITHOUT AMBIEN'STROUBLING SIDE EFFECTS BECAUSE

IT HAS EXCITING NEW SIDEEFFECTS.

ONE PATIENT HAD A FEELING AS IFSHOCKED, THEN FELT PARALYZED AND

HEARD VIVID SOUNDS OF PEOPLECOMING UP THE STAIRS WITH A

SENSE OF VIOLENT INTENT ANDANOTHER HAD A FEELING OF SHADOWS

FALLING OVER HIS BODY HUNTED BYENEMIES HEARING EXTREMELY LOUD

SCREAMS.

(LAUGHTER)NOW, OF COURSE, THE EASIEST

THING TO DO WOULD BE JUST LABELTHE BOTTLE "WARNING, MAY CAUSE

SUDDEN ON SET KAFKA."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BUT INSTEAD, THE F.D.A. TOLD

MERCK TO DROP THE SUGGESTEDDOSAGE DRAMATICALLY FROM 80

MILLIGRAMS TO 10 MILLIGRAMS.

UNFORTUNATELY, AT THAT LEVELPATIENTS RECORDED IT HAD NO

ADVANTAGE OVER A PLACEBO.

WELL, THE FOLKS AT PRESCOTTBELIEVE THE GOVERNMENT SHOULD

NOT BE PUTTING A BUREAUCRATBETWEEN YOU AND YOUR INESCAPABLE

NIGHTMARES.

THAT'S WHY WE ARE PROUD TOINTRODUCE VAXA-NUFF.

A THREE-POUND BRICK OF PURESLEEP AID.

YOU CHOOSE YOUR OWN DOSE BYGRATING OFF AS MUCH AS -- AS

DOCTOR YOU PRESCRIBES.

(LAUGHTER)WHEN YOU FEEL YOURSELF DRIFTING

GENTLY OFF TO SLEEP, YOU'VE HADENOUGH.

WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE SOMEONEELSE'S HAND IS DOING THE GRATING

AND YOU'RE NO LONGER YOURSELFBECAUSE YOU ARE THE BRICK OF

VAXA-NUFF BEING GRATEED INTO THEMOUTH OF A STRANGER THAT WAS

ONCE YOU AND THE UNIVERSE FOLDSIN ON ITSELF AND TRANSFORMS INTO

A SWARM OF BABY-FACED VAMPIREBATS, YOU'VE HAD WAY TOO MUCH.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)SO AT WHICH POINT YOU'LL WANT TO

TAKE A LITTLE MORE.

BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TOSLEEP FOR WHATEVER YOU DO NEXT.

SIDE EFFECTS OF VAXA-NUFF MAYINCLUDE SLEEP WALTZING, NIGHT

TERRIERS AND NOCTURNALMUNITIONS.

(LAUGHTER)NEXT UP, FOLKS, COSMETIC

SURGERY.

>> UH-HUH!

(LAUGHTER)>>

>> Stephen: FOLKS, I'M A BIGFAN OF COSMETIC SURGERY.

OF COURSE, I DON'T NEED ITMYSELF BECAUSE I HAVE ALL OF

THAT TAKEN CARE OF FOR ME BY THEPAINTING IN MY ATTIC.

(LAUGHTER)STILL, I WAS EXCITED TO HEAR A

NEW WAY TO IMPROVE A PART OF THEBODY I DIDN'T KNOW WAS HIDEOUS.

>> IT'S AN EYE OPENING PROCEDUREBEING DONE HERE IN NEW YORK FOR

THE FIRST TIME.

A WOMAN IS GETTING A PIECE OFPLATINUM JEWELRY PLACED IN HER

EYE.

DR. EMILE CHIN BEGINS THEPROCESS WITH AN INJECTION OF

LIDOCAINE TO NUMBER T AREA.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> NOW I'M GOING TO PUT IN THE

SPECULUM TO KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN.

>> THEN DR. CHIN MAKES A SMALLINCISION WHERE THE JEWELRY WILL

EVENTUALLY BE PLACED.

>> Stephen: NOW, THE PROCEDUREMAY SOUND PAINFUL BUT REMEMBER

BEFORE THEY SLICE YOUR EYE ANDINSERT A PIECE OF METAL THEY

NUMB IT BY JAMMING IN A NEEDLE.

(LAUGHTER)NOW, THIS PATIENT OPTED FOR A

LITTLE HEART.

YOU CAN SEE IT RIGHT NEXT TOWHERE HER EYE DIDN'T USED TO BE

BLEEDING.

(LAUGHTER)BUT THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY

ABOUT THE SAFETY OF THEPROCEDURE.

>> DR. CHIN SAYS HE BELIEVESIT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY SAFE.

>> Stephen: SEE?

IT'S PRETTY SAFE!

(LAUGHTER)THERE ARE SOME RISKS WITH ANY

SURGERY, BUT WHAT'S THEALTERNATIVE-- NOT HAVING METAL

IN YOUR EYE?

OF COURSE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE,THE PROCEDURE HAS NOT BEEN

F.D.A. APPROVED.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO THROWAROUND THE PHRASE "NOT F.D.A.

APPROVED" VERY LONG BEFORE THEFOLKS AT PRESCOTT TAKE NOTICE.

FORGET COSTLY PROCEDURES TO PUTJEWELRY IN YOUR EYE.

AT PRESCOTT WE BELIEVE TRUEBEAUTY LIES ON THE INSIDE.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE PROUD TOINTRODUCE VACSA-BLING, JEWELRY

FOR YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS.

IT'S SIMPLY COMBINING AN ANATOMYTEXTBOOK WITH A ZALES CATALOG.

JUST OPEN EACH TO A RANDOM PAGEAND WE'LL PUT THE THING IN THE

OTHER THING.

(LAUGHTER)SO THIS CHRISTMAS, TREAT

YOURSELF TO DIAMOND PENDANTEARRINGS IN YOUR TESTICLES.

(APPLAUSE)(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

SIDE EFFECTS OF VACSA-BLINGINCLUDE CREAMED CORNEAS, DOUBLE

VISION, AND IDRIS ELBOW.

WELL, THAT'S IT FOR CHEATINGDEATH BROUGHT TO YOU BY PRESCOTT

PHARMACEUTICALS.

REMEMBER: ABUSE ONLY ASDIRECTED.

UNTIL NEXT TIME, I'LL SEE YOU IN

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN.

YOU KNOW, FOLKS, YOU KNOW,THERE'S JUST NO OTHER WAY TO SAY

IT: I HAVE HAD IT WITH BLACKPEOPLE.

(LAUGHTER)NOW, HEAR ME OUT.

HEAR ME OUT.

NOT THE GOOD ONES-- WHICH AREALL OF THEM SO NO LETTERS.

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE ONE OR TWOBLACK PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE

ALWAYS BRINGING UP RACE!

IT'S NOT LIKE WHITE PEOPLE HAVEIT EASY!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'SLIKE TO WALK PAST POLICE

OFFICERS AND NEITHER BE STOPPEDNOR FRISKED?

(LAUGHTER)IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I'M SOME

SORT OF INVISIBLE MAN.

I SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUTTHAT.

(LAUGHTER)AND SOME BLACK PEOPLE EVEN

REFUSE TO DREAM OF A WHITECHRISTMAS!

SUCH AS SLATE WRITER AISHAHARRIS, SEEN HERE GETTING HER

GROOVE BACK.

SHE BELIEVES SANTA CLAUS SHOULDNOT BE A WHITE MAN ANYMORE AND

ISN'T IT TIME OUR IMAGE OF SANTABETTER SERVE ALL THE CHILDREN HE

DELIGHTS EACH CHRISTMAS?

ALL THE CHILDREN, AISHA?

EVEN THOSE ON SANTA'S NAUGHTYLIST?

WHAT'S NEXT?

THOSE ON SANTA'S JEWISH LIST?

OH, OH, HE HAS ONE.

HE BORROWED IT FROM NIXON.

(LAUGHTER)NOW, FORTUNATELY FOX NEWS ELF

MEGYN KELLY WAS THERE TO PUTTHINGS IN BLACK AND WHITE-- BUT

MOSTLY WHITE.

>> SANTA CLAUS SHOULD NOT BE AWHITE MAN ANYMORE.

YET ANOTHER PERSON CLAIMING IT'SRACIST TO HAVE A WHITE SANTA.

YOU KNOW, AND, BY THE WAY FORALL YOU KIDS WATCHING AT HOME,

SANTA JUST IS WHITE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)$YES.

THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

FOR ALL THOSE KIDS WATCHING FOXNEWS AT 9:40 AT NIGHT, STAN IS

WHITE.

(LAUGHTER)AND SANTA CAN'T JUST CHANGE

COLORS!

IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S MAGIC ORANYTHING!

BESIDES, A BLACK SANTA IS ATERRIBLE IDEA.

IF A HOME OWNER IN FLORIDA SEESA BLACK MAN COMING DOWN THEIR

CHIMNEY HE IS GOING TO GET SHOT!

(LAUGHTER)OFFICER, I WAS JUST DEFENDING MY

MILK AND COOKIES!

AND MEGYN KELLY IS RIGHT!

THE RACES OF ALL OF OUR FAVORITEMYSTICAL HOLIDAY FIGURES HAVE

LONG BEEN DETERMINED.

SANTA-- WHITE.

EASTER BUNNY-- WHITE.

TOOTH FAIRY-- LATINA.

THEY NEED THE BABY TEETH.

IT'S -- IT'S WHAT THEY PUT INTHE MARACAS.

(LAUGHTER)DON'T OPEN THESE.

IT'S LIKE A HORROR SHOW INTHERE.

(LAUGHTER)PLUS, IT MAKES SENSE THAT SANTA

IS A WHITE GUY.

AFTER ALL, HIS JOB IS TO BRINGUS PRESENTS ON JESUS' BIRTHDAY

AND EVERYONE KNOWS JESUS' COLOR.

>> JESUS WAS A WHITE MAN, TOO,BUT, YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE -- WE

HAVE -- HE'S A HISTORICALFIGURE, THAT'S A VERIFIABLE

FACT.

AS IS SANTA.

>> Stephen: YES, THANK YOUJESUS WAS A WHITE GUY.

AND JESUS' WHITENESS IS AVERIFIABLE FACT.

JUST LOOK AT ANY PHOTO OF JESUS.

HE WAS JUST YOUR AVERAGE AIR MAYI CAN SPEAKING FIRST CENTURY

EASTERN WHITE GUY.

(LAUGHTER)THE ONLY EVIDENCE -- AIR MAKE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THE ONLY EVIDENCE I NEED THE

SACRED DOCKERS OF TURIN.

(LAUGHTER)BESIDES, BACK PEOPLE HAVE THEIR

OWN HOLIDAY, IT'S MARTIN LUTHERKING DAY.

BY THE WAY, FOR ANY KIDSWATCHING AT 11:30 AT NIGHT,

MARTIN LUTHER KING IS BLACK ANDHE IS REAL.

(LAUGHTER)DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR OLDER

SIBLINGS.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT IF YOU'REGOOD ONCE A YEAR HE COMES IN

WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING ANDSPRINKLES YOU WITH DREAMS.

(LAUGHTER)THEN HE GOES BACK TO HIS

MOUNTAIN TOP CASTLE ON HISFLYING TABLE OF BROTHERHOOD

SAYING "MERRY M.L.K. DAY TO ALLAND TO ALL GOOD DEALS ON

MATTRESSES!"WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY.

MY GUEST TONIGHT JUST WON THENATIONAL BOOK AWARD FOR HIS NEW

BOOK "THE UNWINDING."

I WONDER IF I HAVE TO READ "THEWINDING" FIRST.

PLEASE WELCOME GEORGE PACKER!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)HEY, GEORGE, GOOD TO SEE YOU

AGAIN.

THANKS FOR COMING BACK.

IT'S BEEN ONE OR SIX YEARS SINCEYOU WERE LAST HERE.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

>> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN, TOO.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE A "NEWYORKER" STAFF WRITER.

YOU'RE THE AUTHOR OF "THEASSASSIN'S GATE" WHICH WAS ABOUT

AMERICA IN IRAQ.

NOW YOU'VE GOT A NEW BOOK.

"THE UNWINDING: AN INNER HISTORYOF THE NEW AMERICA."

OKAY, I'LL BITE.

HOW ARE WE UNWINDING?

WHAT IS UNWINDING AMERICA OTHERTHAN, LET'S SAY, GAY MARRIAGE,

LEGALIZED POT, AND SOCIALIZEDMEDICINE?

(LAUGHTER)SHOULD I HAVE SAID SPOILER

ALERT?

DID I JUST GIVE AWAY THE BOOK?

>> THOSE ARE NOT THE BIG THEMESOF THE BOOK.

THE BOOK IS ABOUT HOW OVER THEON THE INSTITUTIONS INSTITUTIONS

THAT USED TO SUPPORT THE BROADMAJORITY OF AMERICANS LIKE

GOVERNMENT, LIKE NEWS MEDIA,LIKE CORPORATIONS, LIKE SCHOOLS

HAVE STOPPED WORKING ON BEHALFOF THE MAJORITY.

>> Stephen: CORPORATIONS AREDOING FINE, MY FRIEND.

>> THEY ARE DOING WELL.

BUT MOST OF AMERICA IS NOT.

SO WE'VE BECOME MORE AND MORE ACOUNTRY DIVIDED BETWEEN WINNERS

AND LOSERS.

LET ME JUST SAY, THIS IS NOT ANARGUMENT BOOK.

IT'S NOT A POLICY BOOK.

THERE ARE LOTS OF GOOD BOOKSABOUT THIS SUBJECT.

>> Stephen: SO YOU'RE NOTARGUING WITH THE BOOK?

>> I AM NOT.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: SO IF WE WERE TOHAVE AN ARGUMENT, I'VE ALREADY

WON?

>> DOESN'T THAT ALWAYS HAPPEN?

(LAUGHTER).

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: CERTAINLY ONCE

WE'RE DONE EDITING.

(LAUGHTER)SO IT'S DESCRIBING THE STATE OF

AMERICA.

>> WELL, INSTEAD OF MAKING ANARGUMENT THAT YOU AGREE OR

DISAGREE WITH BUT QUICKLY FORGETIT GOES THROUGH THE LIVES OF

HALF A DOZEN AMERICANS ANDFOLLOWS THEM OVER THE COURSE OF

THE LAST 30 OR 35 YEARS, THEHUGE CHANGES IN THE ECONOMY AND

THE WAY THEY'VE REACTED.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE BIGGESTCHANGE?

MY UNDERSTANDING HOW THE ECONOMYWORKS-- YOU CAN CORRECT ME IF

I'M WRONG-- IS THAT YOU WORKHARD, YOU PLAY FAIR AND YOU'RE

REWARDED.

THAT'S THE AMERICAN DREAM.

YOU KNOW?

AND -- PLAY BY THE RULES, YOUGET A HOUSE TO LIVE IN.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: AND THE BIGGESTCHANGE IS THAT NO LONGER WORKS

AND THERE'S LOTS OF PEOPLE INTHIS BOOK WHO WORK HARD,

BASICALLY PLAY BY THE RULES--THEY MAKE MISTAKES, THEY'RE

HUMAN-- BUT THEY END UP WITHVERY LITTLE OR NOTHING.

AND THEY'RE STRUGGLING OR EVENDROWNING AND THERE'S NO

STRUCTURES TO SUPPORT THEIRASPIRATIONS.

THEY'RE ON THEIR OWN.

STPWHAOUP ARE THESE STRUCTURESTHAT WE USED TO HAVE?

>> A DECENT PUBLIC SCHOOLSYSTEM.

>> Stephen: WELL, PUBLICSCHOOLS RELY ON MY TAXES.

(LAUGHTER)I'M THE GUY PAYING FOR PUBLIC

SCHOOLS, MANY I KIDS GO PRIVATE,I CAN'T BE PAYING FOR THAT.

THAT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.

WHAT ELSE?

(LAUGHTER)AGAIN, WE'RE NOT HAVING AN

ARGUMENT.

WE'RE NOT HAVING AN ARGUMENT.

>> YOU MENTIONED CORPORATIONS.

IT USED TO BE THE CORPORATIONSHAD OTHER INTERESTS BESIDES

SHARE PRICE BUT WHEN THEY BECAMETHE ONLY GOAL OF C.E.O.s,

SHARE PRICE AND THEIR OWNSALARIES AND BONUSES THEY

STOPPED THINKING ABOUT THEIRWORKERS AS HAVING A KEY ROLE AND

HAVING CERTAIN RIGHTS AND ITBEING NECESSARY.

I MEAN, IN SOME WAYSCORPORATIONS --

>> Stephen: SOUNDS LIKE YOU'REGOING POPE FRANCIS ON ME RIGHT

NOW.

(LAUGHTER)>> THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

I BET HE'S ACTUALLY A VERYPOWERFUL VOICE FOR THIS.

OBAMA QUOTED HIM IN A SPEECH HEGAVE ON INEQUALITY ABOUT A WEEK

AGO.

IT'S NICE TO HAVE SOME LEADERTALKING ABOUT THIS.

WE CAN'T FIND TOO MANY INWASHINGTON SO WE HAVE TO LOOK TO

THE VATICAN.

>> Stephen: OBAMA CALLED THEPOPE SOULFUL.

(LAUGHTER)WHICH I FOUND OFFENSIVE.

I DON'T WANT MY POPE DESCRIBEDLIKE BARRY WHITE.

(LAUGHTER)ARE YOU SAYING THAT I'M -- GUYS

LIKE ME WHO BELIEVE IN OURCORPORATE HEGEMONY NOW WHO

BELIEVE IN SMALLER GOVERNMENTAND LESS SOCIAL SERVICES THAT

WE'RE THE PROBLEM FOR PEOPLELIKE THAT?

>> STEPHEN, THAT IS VERY NICESET BUT YOU DID NOT BUILD IT.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Stephen: GO ON, ELIZABETHWARREN.

>> SHE'S IN THE BOOK.

>> Stephen: OH, I BET SHE IS.

OH, I BET SHE IS.

I BET THERE'S A FOLDOUT OF HER.

(LAUGHTER)>> YOU KNOW, THERE ARE TEN

WELL-KNOWN AMERICANS PROFILED INTHE BOOK AS WELL AS THESE FIVE

OR SIX PENAL YOU DON'T KNOW ANDI -- I ADMIRE HER BECAUSE SHE

HAS THE GUTS TO TELL BANKERSWHAT THEY DON'T WANT TO HEAR AND

THERE'S VERY FEW PEOPLE INPUBLIC LIFE WHO DO.

LOOK, WE HAVE -->> Stephen: SO WHAT DOBACKERS

NOT WANT TO HEAR THAT THEYSHOULD HEAR?

I'M HAVING A CHRISTMAS PARTYTONIGHT, I'LL TELL THEM.

>> THAT WE HAVE AN ECONOMY THATDOESN'T WORK VERY WELL BECAUSE

PEOPLE WHO WORK AT WAL-MARTCAN'T -- CAN BARELY AFFORD TO

SHOP AT WAL-MART WHICH IS WHYBLACK FRIDAY WAS A BUST THIS

YEAR.

>> Stephen: THEY DON'T NEED TOBECAUSE WAL-MART ENCOURAGES

WORKERS TO GIVE EACH OTHER OLDCANNED FOOD.

>> EXACTLY.

>> Stephen: AND AS LONG ASTHEY'RE TRADING EACH OTHER DEL

MONTE PEAS WE'RE GOOD.

(LAUGHTER)>> THAT'S THE ARGUMENT THAT I'M

NOT MAKING.

>> Stephen: I'M GLAD YOUDIDN'T BECAUSE I COULD KNOCK

THAT DOWN IN A MINUTE.

I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T MAKE IT.

>> THERE ARE SIX SURVIVINGWAL-MART HEIRS THAT HAVE MORE

WEALTH THAN THE BOTTOM 42% OFAMERICANS.

NOW, THAT'S SUCH A GAP OFINEQUALITY THAT THE ECONOMY NO

LONGER WORKS AND PEOPLE ARECYNICAL AND THINK THE GAME IS

RIGGED.

WE DON'T EXPECT EQUAL RESULTS,BUT WHEN THE GAP IS SO WIDE,

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY ITSELF SEEMSLIKE A SHAM.

>> Stephen: THERE IS EQUALOPPORTUNITY.

WHETHER IT'S LIKE ONE OF THEHEIRS OF WAL-MART OR, YOU KNOW,

SOME GUY WORKING A MINIMUM WAGEJOB, THEY HAVE THE EXACT SAME

CHANCE TO WIN THE PICK 4 OF THEPOWERBALL.

(LAUGHTER)OR THE SCRATCHOFF.

THERE'S SO MANY OPPORTUNITIESTHAT THEY'VE SHARED AN EQUAL

CHANCE OF.

YOU WILL ADMIT THAT.

>> AND IT IS MORE AND MORE OF ALOTTERY.

BECAUSE KNOW WHO LONGER HAVE THEUPWARD MOBILITY THAT'S ALWAYS

BEEN OUR CLAIM TO BEING INEGALITARIAN SOCIETY.

EUROPE IS A MORE SOCIALLY MOBILEPLACE THAN THE UNITED STATES

NOW.

>> Stephen: YOU SHUT YOURMOUTH RIGHT NOW.

(LAUGHTER)SIR, HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD THE

ETERNAL TRUTH THAT AMERICA'SGREATEST DAYS ARE AHEAD OF IT?

>> WE LIKE TO THINK THAT.

>> Stephen: OH, IT'S -- IT'STRUE!

THAT'S WHY WE LIKE IT.

AND AMERICA'S GREATEST DAYS AREALSO BEHIND IT.

IT'S RIGHT NOW!

>> THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

>> Stephen: AND ALWAYS HASBEEN!

(LAUGHTER)GEORGE PACKER, THANK YOU SO

MUCH.

GEORGE PACKER, THE UNWINDING.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THEREPORT," EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT.