Positively Negative

  • Season 1, Ep 3
  • 02/15/2007

To cure herself of the blahs, Sarah gets an AIDS test; Jay has a birthday party for the first time.

For Jay's birthday party.That's a great idea.

Good.Really, you'll do that?

Good. Go on.

Live life as ifnothing ever happened.

It's what I want.

But do me a favor.

Learn from me.

I paid the price

for my awareness

so that you guysdon't have to.

Excuse me for eavesdropping,

but, uh,I'm a school teacher.

And, um,

I'd love to havean extraordinary person like you

come speak to my classsometime.

Unfortunately, I don't havethe luxury of "sometime."

But I have now.

Take me there.




Sarah, we'replanning Dave's--

Shh, shh, shh.Let the cuckoo clown go, okay?

She can't ruin my partyfrom out there.

Today we have someonevery special joining us.

Let's give a big Valley Villagehello and welcome

to Mrs. Silverman.

(all)Hello and welcome,Mrs. Silverman.

Mrs. Silverman was my mother.

And she was a bitch.

I'm Sarah.

So look at all of you.

So young.

You got everythingin front of you.

All your dreams intact.

You're invincible, huh?

I was that way once.

I knew it all!Nothing could touch me.

Yeah, sure, I did some drinkin',some druggin'.

Tried it in the buttone or nine times.

It was Teflon.

Or so I thought.

It never occurred to me

that I could get AIDS.

[snaps fingers]

I had to learn the hard way

that it is notyour sexual orientation,

nor your coloror your religion

or your racethat gets you AIDS.

It is your...

mouth, veins,


and vagina.

So what gets you AIDS?

(all)Mouth, veins, tushy, va--

Thank you so much... Ms. Silverman.

The children willcertainly--

Yes, they certainly will.

Well, I think you've donemore than enough here.


But I haven't doneenough out there.

You're applauding yourselves.

You're applauding yourselves.

I'm one of you.

So in that respect,you are applauding me.

And I thank you.


My name is Sarah,

and I'm going to pump...

you upwith AIDS awareness.

[cheers and applause]

Thank you. Thank you.That was a good one.

People of AIDS,don't cry for me.

Long after I'm gone, I'll remain behind.

On every child'ssmiling lips.

I'm every star in the sky.

I'm every tear you cry.

♪ I'm every--


Oh. Oh, 7:00 already.

I gotta getmy blood test results.

Okay, everybody listen up.

Jewel's gonna come out and sing a few songs.

I've gotta getthese blood test results.

If I do have AIDS,I'll be back in ten minutes.

[booing] If I don't have AIDS,

please enjoy Jewel's performance.

I hear she's wonderful.

What?What's the problem?

Are you booing me becauseI might not have AIDS?

Oh, my God! Oh!

Why are you beingsuch fickle pickles?!

I hate you!

What?! Oh!

(woman) We hate you Sarah!

Oh, my God! Oh!

You know, if this is how AIDSmakes you treat people...


I hope I don't have it.