Victory

  • 11/07/2012

Luther informs Mitt Romney who won the election, and a non-stop party refuses to stop.

[Hail to the Chief plays]

- GOOD EVENING,MY FELLOW AMERICANS.

I JUST WANT TO THANK YOUFOR YOUR CONTINUED FAITH IN--

- WE WON, MOTHER[bleep]ERS!

[screaming]WE WON!

- THAT'S MY ANGER TRANSLATOR,LUTHER.

- WHOO!

YEAH! WHAT'S UP?

[humming]♪ MM MM-MM MM

♪ MM MM MM-MM

- BUT I WANT TO WISHMY OPPONENT, MITT ROMNEY, WELL.

HE RAN A GOOD CAMPAIGN.

- TAKE THAT [bleep]BACK TO THE LAB, MITT,

'CAUSE YOU LOST!

- AND NOW WE MOVE FORWARDWITH PRESSING ISSUES.

- WE GONNA PASS HEALTHCARE AGAIN.

NOW WHAT, BITCHES?

- WHILE WE HAD HUGE TURNOUTFROM OUR FAITHFUL SUPPORTERS...

- THANK YOU, BLACK FOLKS!

WE MADE IT TO TWO ELECTIONSIN A ROW, MAN!

NOW HOW HARD WAS THAT?

- ALL YOUR VOTES WERE CRUCIALIN THIS VICTORY.

- WHITE PEOPLEWHO VOTED FOR ME,

Y'ALL ARE ALL NOWHONORARY BLACK PEOPLE.

- SO THANK YOUFOR YOUR SUPPORT.

- AND [bleep] YOUIF YOU TRIED TO [bleep] ME!

I MEAN, YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEYTHEY TRIED TO SPEND

TO GET RID OF THIS?

MILLIONS, SON!I SAID MILLIONS!

BUT YOU COULDN'T GET RIDOF IT, [bleep].

AW, NAW.

YEAH, CAN'T TOUCH THIS.

- LUTHER.

N--LUTHER,WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

NO HAMMER DANCING.

- COME ON, "B"!

WE WON!LET'S DO IT, DOG!

- NO, I'M, UH,I-I-I TOLD YOU,

I DON'T WANT YOUDOING IT WRONG.

- OHH.- YOU GOTTA GET IT RIGHT.

- OHH!- IF YOU'RE GONNA DO IT--

GOD BLESS AMERICA.

- OH, THAT'S RIGHT,THAT'S RIGHT.

SAY IT, THOUGH.SAY IT!

- NOW, I-I-I TOLD YOU, HOMEBOY,YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS.

[dance music]

- ♪ WELL, TONIGHTWE GONNA PARTY ♪

♪ TILL THE PARTY DON'T STOP

♪ AND THE PARTY DON'T STOP

♪ BECAUSE ITKEEPS ON GOING NONSTOP ♪

♪ GONNA PARTY ALL NIGHT

♪ GONNA KEEPTHIS PARTY GOING ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THE PARTYWON'T STOP ♪

♪ IT'S BEEN TWO STRAIGHT DAYSAND THE PARTY'S STILL GOING ♪

♪ TWO, THREE, FOUR, FIVE,SIX, SEVEN DAYS ♪

♪ TILL IT'S FRIDAY AGAINAND THE PARTY KEEPS GOING ♪

♪ PARTY ALL NIGHT'CAUSE IT'S AN ALL-NIGHT PARTY ♪

♪ FRIDAY NIGHT, 9:00 P.M.

♪ HOP IN THE CAR,CALL MY FRIENDS ♪

♪ DRINKS IN THE BACK,GIRLS UP FRONT ♪

♪ WE'RE GOING TO A PARTY,SENDING TEXTS ♪

♪ CELL PHONE RINGS,iPAD, FACEBOOK, PARTY TIME ♪

♪ SKIN-TIGHT JEANS,FRIDAY NIGHT ♪

♪ DANCE, DANCE, DANCE

♪ 'CAUSE TONIGHT WE GOIN' OUTAND WE AIN'T COMIN' BACK ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THE PARTY WON'T STOPAND WE'LL GO ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ FRIDAY NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT,THE PARTY'S GOING DOWN ♪

♪ DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN,DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN ♪

♪ NEW YORK CITY,L.A., CHICAGO ♪

♪ HOUSTON, PHILLY,SAN DIEGO ♪

♪ PHOENIX, AUSTIN,FORT WORTH, BOSTON ♪

♪ MEMPHIS, DENVER,PORTLAND, VEGAS ♪

[muffled music continues]

♪ ...LUBBOCK, DURHAM,SALEM, DAYTON ♪

♪ CITIES, CITIES,CITIES, CITIES ♪

♪ 'CAUSE TONIGHT WE GOING OUTAND WE AIN'T COMIN' BACK ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THE PARTY WON'T STOPAND WE'LL GO ALL NIGHT ♪

♪ FRIDAY NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT,THE PARTY'S GOING DOWN ♪

♪ DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN,DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, DOWN ♪

♪ NEW YORK CITY,L.A., CHICAGO ♪

♪ HOUSTON, PHILLY,SAN DIEGO ♪

♪ PHOENIX, AUSTIN,FORT WORTH, BOSTON ♪

♪ MEMPHIS, DENVER,PORTLAND, VEGAS ♪

♪ TUCSON, FRESNO,AKRON, TAMPA ♪

♪ PITTSBURGH, NEWARK,PLANO, LINCOLN ♪

♪ LUBBOCK, DURHAM,SALEM, DAYTON ♪

♪ CITIES, CITIES,CITIES, CITIES ♪

♪ CITIES!

♪ YEAH, WE'RE GONNAKEEP IT GOING ♪

♪ TILL THE BREAK OFBREAK OF DAWN ♪

♪ THEN WE'LL JUSTKEEP PARTYING ALL DAY LONG ♪

♪ HOT GIRLS, MUSIC, DANCING,AND BIKINIS AND HEADPHONES ♪

♪ PARTY, PARTY, PARTY, PARTY,PARTY, PARTY, PARTY, PARTY ♪

♪ SO TONIGHT WE'RE GONNA PARTYTILL THE PARTY DON'T STOP ♪

- NOW GO--LOOK AT THAT.- WHAT?

THAT'S AMAZING.- HE'S SO GOOD AT THIS.

- AMAZING.

- I KNOW,LOOK AT YOUR POINTS.

- OH! OH!

OH!- NICE! NICE!

- YES. DUDE.

YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELYMASTERED THIS GAME.

- YEAH, WELL, SINCE,UM, SHEILA LEFT,

I'VE BEEN SPENDINGA LOT OF TIME PLAYING THE GAME.

- YOU'RE DOING REALLY GOOD.- THANK YOU.

- THAT'S WHYWE'RE HERE, MAN.

HELP YOU GET OVER SH--HER.

AND CHECK OUT THISAWESOME NEW GAME YOU HAVE!

- [weakly]YAY.

- YOU KNOW, I LEFT SOMETHINGIN ANOTHER ROOM.

UM, EXCUSE ME, EVERYONE.

- OH, HE STILLHAS THE SENSORS ON.

[chuckles]

- OH, LOOK.- IS THAT HIM IN HIS ROOM?

- YEAH. YOU CAN SEE HIM.THAT'S FUNNY. WHAT IS HE DOING?

IS HE--IS HE ON HIS KNEES?

DID HE DROP TO HIS KNEES?- OH, N--[chuckles]

- OH...- THAT--THAT--

HE'S PROBABLY LOOKING FOR--

- NO, LOOK.HE'S--HE'S CRYING.

HE'S CRYING. OH, NO.- HE'S JUST--

- NO, NO, HE'S SHUDDERING.- THAT'S JUST SHAKING.

- HE'S SHUDDERING.IS HE FETAL?

YEAH, HE CURLED UP.LOOK AT THAT. HE'S FETAL.

- HEY, CRAIG, BUDDY.YOU ALL RIGHT UP THERE?

- OH, YEAH, I'M--I'M--I'M--I'M COMING RIGHT OUT.

- OH, HE--UM...

HEY, MAN, YOU ALL RIGHT?

- YES. YEAH. OH, YEAH.YEAH, YEAH.

IT'S JUST,UH, MY SINUSES...

[sniffs]ARE ACTING UP.

YEAH.YEAH, I, UM--

I WAS JUST--YOU KNOW, I WASJUST THINKING ABOUT SHEILA,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M--I AM TOTALLY OVER HER.

- AWESOME.- AWESOME.

- LET'S--HEY, LET'S GETTHIS PARTY STARTED.

- SURE.

OH.

UH...

I FORGOT TO GET RID OF THISPICTURE OF SHEILA. EXCUSE ME.

- HEY, MAYBE LEAVE THE SENSORSSO ONE OF US CAN PLAY.

[game music begins]

- OH, HE'S DANCING.

HE'S DANCING WITH THE PHOTO.IS HE KI--

HE'S DOING--HE'S DOING THIS A BUNCH.

- ALL RIGHT.- IS HE KISSING IT?

I THINK HE'S KISSING IT.

- KNOW WHAT?I'M GONNA TURN THIS OFF.

'CAUSE WE DON'T NEED TO--- YOU CHANGE IT AND YOU DIE.

HE'S UNDOING HIS BUCKLE.

LOOK AT THIS.HIS PANTS ARE COMING OFF.

HIS PANTS ARE COMING OFF.

OH, GOD.- YEAH.

- NO, NO, NO, NO,NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

- OKAY, THAT'S HAPPENING.- OH, NO, NO, NO.

- MY GOD.- IS HE--HE'S--

HE IS TOTALLY ON THE BED.- YEAH.

- HE'S TOTALLY FLATON THE BED.

- OKAY, WELL, THAT'S JUST--

- OH! OH, GOD.

OH, GROSS.

[groans]

- WE SH--WE SHOULDN'T BE...

OKAY, YOU KNOW...

- IS HE REACHING DOWNFOR HIS FOOT?

- I DON'T--- THAT'S HIS FOOT, ISN'T IT?

IS THAT HIS FOOT?

- AND COMING BACK.

- WHEW.

I AM SORRY, EVERYBODY.

WOULD YOU LIKE METO MAKE SOME SNACKS?

- WASH YOUR HANDS FIRST?

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME?- NO!

- SERIOUSLY, YOU'VE GOTTACOME BACK IN THE BAR RIGHT NOW.

- YOU COME BACK IN THE BAR!

- MEGAN, I DON'T EVEN[bleep] KNOW CLAIRE!

- YEAH, RIGHT!

- I'M SORRY!YOU LEFT YOUR JACKET!

- YEAH, WELL,WHY DON'T YOU GIVE IT

TO YOUR NEW, FAT,UGLY GIRLFRIEND?

- I HAVEN'T EVEN MET HER YET!- WHATEVER!

- YOU LEFT YOUR JACKET,MEGAN!

- OH, THROW IT IN A RIVER!- WHY WOULD I [bleep] DO THAT?

- I DON'T CARE, I'M OVER IT!

- FINE!

[sighs]

GOD.

MEGAN!

- LEAVE ME ALONE!

- YOUR JACKET, THOUGH!

- NO!- SERIOUSLY, MEGAN!

- YOU START BUYING DRINKSFOR EVERYBODY

AS SOON AS SHE COMES OVER.I MEAN, WHO DOES THAT?

- MEGAN,COME BACK TO THE BAR!

- YOU'RE LITERALLY AN ASSHOLE!- HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?

I CAN'T BE AN ASSHOLE.I GOT ARMS AND LEGS AND A HEAD!

- WHERE'S MY JACKET?- I HAVE YOUR JACKET!

- FINE.- DO YOU WANT IT?

- NO!

- YOU KNOW WHA--- EAT IT!

- WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

YOU KNOW WHAT?I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU ANYMORE!

I'M DONE!- FINE! I'M OVER IT!

- FINE!

MEGAN, COME BACK TO THE BAR.

- NO!

- MEGAN! MEGAN! MEGAN!- UH-UH! NO! UH-UH!

[boat whistle blows,bell rings]

- MEGAN, DO YOU WANTYOUR [bleep] JACKET?

- NO!

- SERIOUSLY,COME BACK TO THE BAR.

- YOU GO BACK TO THE BAR.

- I'M GONNA THROWTHIS JACKET IN THE WATER.

- OH, NICE.

THAT'S REALLY NICE.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO,MEGAN? DAMN!

- KISS MY BUTTHOLE, OKAY?

- GOOD! FINE! FINE!THEN I'M GOING!

I'M LEAVING RIGHT NOW!

GOD DAMN IT!

MEGAN!

- NO!

- LIKE, SERIOUSLY, YOUR JACKET!- NO!

- BUT IT'S YOUR JACKET, THOUGH!- WHATEVER!

- MEGAN!

- NO!

- I HAVE YOUR J--

I HAVE YOUR JACKET.

- I'M OVER IT!

- SERIOUSLY, MEG--

[bell rings]

[indistinct chatter]

- [laughs]YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

WHY YOU READIN', BITCH?

- BECAUSE I LIKE TO READ,AND THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BOOK.

- YOU'RE A REALLY GOOD BITCH,BITCH.

- WHY YOU GOTTABOTHER ME, MAN?

- BECAUSE.[dramatic piano music]

I'M NOT DOINGVERY WELL IN SCHOOL.

I'M READINGAT A THIRD-GRADE LEVEL.

I REALLY DON'T WANTTO GET LEFT BACK,

SO WHEN I SEE SOMEBODYREADING FOR FUN,

IT MAKES ME FEELTHAT MUCH MORE STUPID!

AND THEN I GET MAD![music stops]

- UM, I DIDN'TKNOW THAT. I--

THANKS SO MUCHFOR OPENING UP TO ME--

- SHUT UP, QUEER!

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WHY--I MEAN,WHY YOU GOTTA GO THERE?

[piano music]

- I'VE BEEN HAVINGSEXUAL FANTASIES

ABOUT SOME OFTHE OTHER GUYS AT SCHOOL.

- WHAT?- GIMME THAT!

I'M AFRAID OF THESE FEELINGSAND WHAT THEY MIGHT MEAN.

IT'S LIKE, BECAUSEI HATE MYSELF SO MUCH,

I GOTTAPOINT THAT HATE OUTWARD

TOWARDS YOU![snickers]

[music stops]

- YOU UNDERSTAND THISON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL THAT--

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND [bleep]!- WHOA!

- NOW I'M GONNAPUNISH YOU PHYSICALLY

FOR ACKNOWLEDGINGMY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS!

- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,

I WAS GONNA SAY IF YOUUNDERSTAND YOURSELF SO WELL,

THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULDTRY WORKING ON CHANGING IT.

- OF COURSEI WANT TO CHANGE IT!

BUT IT'S THE ONLYDEFENSE MECHANISM I HAVE

AGAINST DEEPER, MORE TERRIFYINGPROBLEMS BURIED INSIDE OF ME!

[brakes squeak]

YOU'RE LUCKY MY DAD'S HERE.[piano music]

- [banging]GET IN THE DAMN TRUCK, SON.

I NEED TO TAKE YOU HOME AND BEATON YOU 'CAUSE I HATE MYSELF.

AND YOU LOOK LIKEYOUR MOTHER WHO LEFT ME.

THEN I'M GONNA BLOCK OUTTHE GUILT I FEEL

OVER MISTREATING YOUWITH A RIVER OF VODKA.

- I'M GONNA INTERNALIZE THAT

AND UNKNOWINGLY TRANSFER ITONTO YOU TOMORROW.

COMING RELUCTANTLY.

COMMANDER BEAUJOLAIS!

OUR FORCESHAVE BEEN DEVASTATED.

THE ENEMY IS AT THE EDGEOF THE VILLAGE.

THERE ARE NOTMANY OF US LEFT.

SHOULD WE SURRENDER?

- YOU MAY SURRENDER, JENGO.

BUT I AM AFRAID THAT ISA LUXURY I CANNOT AFFORD.

YOU HAVE NO IDEAWHAT THEY DO TO WARLORDS.

IF THEY CAPTURE ME,THEY WILL TORTURE ME FOR WEEKS.

THAT IS NO WAY TO GO.

I WANT YOU, MY MOST TRUSTEDSOLDIER OVER THE AGE OF EIGHT,

TO TAKE MY LIFE.

THAT IS MY FINAL ORDER.

AAH!

OH! OH! OH! OW!

OW! NO, DO--NO!AAH, STOP, STOP!

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

HAA!

- I WAS TRYINGTO KILL YOU, SIR.

- NOT WITH THIS!THERE'S A GUN IN THE DRAWER!

AAH!

- OH.

SO SORRY. OKAY.

- AMAZING.

YOU MISSED EVERYVITAL ORGAN, JENGO.

OH...- FOUND IT.

- ALL RIGHT,NOW KILL ME, JENGO.

HURRY, PLEASE!

[screams]

NOT IN THE KNEE!

- I THOUGHT YOU MIGHTWANT AN OPEN CASKET.

- YOU ARE AN IDIOT![groans]

- DON'T SAY THAT.I DID TRY MY BEST.

- SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD,YOU IMBECILE!

[groans]GOD.

- GOOD-BYE, COMMANDER.

[cocks gun]

YOU SORRY-ASS PIECE OF SH--[gun clicks]

[clicking]

- DID YOU JUST INSULT MEAS YOU WERE ABOUT TO FIRE?

- OH, WELL,YOU HAD INSULTED ME EARLIER.

I TH--I THOUGHTYOU WOULD BE DEAD.

AH, OOH. SO SORRY.

- OW!

OW! OW! OW!

STOP--STOP IT!WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

- THE GUN IS EMPTY.WOULD YOU LIKE I STAB YOU AGAIN?

- NO, NO, NO! PLEASE!

JENGO, THERE ARE BULLETS!THEY ARE OVER THERE!

- OKAY.

- JENGO, PLEASE HURRY!I AM IN AGONY!

[clatters]

OW!

WHAT THE BLAZES, MAN?

- I THOUGHTI COULD KILL YOU VERY QUICK

BY HITTING YOUWITH THAT BIG COOKING POT.

- OH, MY GOD, WOULD YOU PLEASE,I MEAN, PLEASE GET IT OVER WITH?

- I DID NOTFIND THE BULLETS.

- WHAT?- BUT BETTER.

BOILING HOT WATER.

- WHAT ARE YOUGOING TO DO WITH--

[screams]

I SURRENDER!

I AM THE GENERALDOMINICK BUJUNE!

- COMMANDER! DON'T GO!THEY'LL TORTURE YOU!

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