December 7, 2015 - Obama's ISIS Speech & Political Panderers

  • 12/07/2015

President Obama awkwardly attempts to calm America's fears about ISIS, and Larry discusses pandering politicians with Jon Glaser, Rory Albanese and Mike Yard.

>> Larry: YES!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

WELCOME TO THE NIGHT LEE SHOW.

I'M LARRY WILMORE.

SO NICE.

>> LARRY, LARRY, LARRY!

>> Larry: SUCH A NICE AUDIENCEAND CANADA AND AUSTRALIA NICE,

SUCH A NICE AUDIENCE

REALLY IS.

AND GUYS, TIS THE SEASON OFGIVING, RIGHT?

AND NO ONE GIVES THIS COMEDYSHOW MORE GIFTS THAN THE

REPUBLICAN CANDIDATES RUNNINGFOR PRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER).

>> Larry: YAY!

SO LET'S TAKE A LOOK AND SEEWHO'S TRYING TO DENEGROFY THE

WHITE HOUSE.

IN OTHER WORDS, WHAT'S HAPPENINGWITH THE UNBLACKENING. AS YOU

ALL KNOW TONIGHT IS THE SECONDNIGHT OF HANUKKAH.

AND ALL 14 GOP CANDIDATESCELEBRATED THE FESTIVAL OF

LIGHTS BY TALK TOGETHERREPUBLICAN JEWISH COALITION LAST

THURSDAY.

AND THE FIRST BRIGHT SPOT,LINDSAY GRAHAM.

>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

(APPLAUSE).

>> Larry: WHAT'S YOUR RUSH,LINDSEY GRAHAM?

MOVING KIND OF FAST OUT OF THATROOM, AREN'T YOU?

DID YOU SEE HIS BIG FINISH?

WATCH THE HANDS, WATCH THEHANDS.

NICE.

STICK THAT LANDING, KERI STRUG,NICE.

NOW LEST YOU THINK I'M JUSTMAKING FUN OF SOMEONE TRIPPING,

WHICH I AM, AS IT TURNS OUT,LINDSEY GRAHAM'S PRAT FALL WAS

JUST A VISUAL METAPHOR FOR THENIGHT OF SLIPUPS THAT LAY AHEAD.

LISTEN WHAT HAPPENED WHEN BLACKEEYORE OR BLEEYORE, BEN

CARSON--(APPLAUSE)

STARTED TALKING ABOUT THEMILITANT PALESTINIAN TERROR

GROUP HAMAS.

>> SPLIT BETWEEN FATAH ANDHAMAS, HUMMUS TUN EMS THE GAZA

STRIP-- TINLS THE GAZA STRIP.

>> Larry: I'M SORRY, IS HESAYING HUMMUS INSTEAD OF HAMAS?

THIS GUY DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHINGABOUT HUMMUS.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE WORST KINDOF HUMMUS POSSIBLE.

I MEAN WHAT IS NEXT, WILL BENCARSON START REFERRING TO ISIS

AS ITALIAN ICES?

OR BOKO HARAM AS COCOA PARMESAN?

COCOA PARMESAN SOUNDS PRETTYDELICIOUS.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, IFBEN CARSON INVENTS COCOA

PARMESAN, HE JUST MIGHT BECOME AVIABLE CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT.

YEAH.

ACTUALLY, WHY DO WE HAVE TO WAITFOR HIM TO INVENT THIS

GROUND-BREAKING DRINK.

I'M SURE I HAVE SOME HOTCHOCOLATE AND FRESH PARM SITTING

RIGHT AROUND HERE.

OH, HERE WE GO.

OH, HERE WE GO.

>> Larry: OH, THAT'SREVOLTING.

VERY GOOD.

ANY HOW, ALL THE CANDIDATES EACHTOOK TURNS SPEAKING TO THE

REPUBLICAN JEWISH COALITION.

AND RATHER THAN GO THROUGH ALIST OF PROMISES, MANY OF THEM

DECIDED TO GO WITH ANOTHER PWORD, PANDERING.

FIRST UP, DONALD TRUMP WHOSEPOWER MOVE WAS TO USE AN ODD

COMBINATION OF REVERSEPSYCHOLOGY AND TRUMP HUMILITY.

>> SO AGAIN, YOU ARE NOT GOINGTO SUPPORT ME EVEN THOUGH YOU

KNOW I'M THE BEST THING THATCOULD EVER HAPPEN TO ISRAEL.

>> Larry: REALLY?

IN ISRAEL THE HOLY LAND WHICHTHE JEWISH PEOPLE HAVE

SACRIFICED FOR THOUSANDS OFYEARS TO PROTECT, DONALD TRUMP

IS THE BEST THING THAT COULDHAPPEN.

NOT PEACE.

DONALD TRUMP, RIGHT?

>> I AM THE CLASSIEST, HOLIEST,MILK AND HONEYIST CANDIDATE

YOU'VE GOT.

I'M LIKE MOSES ONLY LESS OF ALOSER

40 YEARS TO GET OUT OF THEDESERT, COME ON.

I WOULD HAVE DONE IT IN A WEEKAND LEFT A LUXURIOUS WALL.

BUT TRUMP'S PICKED UP SPEED WHENHE STARTED TRAFFICKING IN SOME

GOOD OLD-FASHIONED STEREOTYPE.

>> I'M A NEGOCIATER LIKE YOUFOLKS, IS THERE ANYBODY THAT

DOESN'T RENEGOTIATE DEALS INTHIS ROOM.

PERHAPS MORE THAN ANY OTHER ROOMI'VE EVER SPOKEN.

>> Larry: THIS IS THE ACTUALDEFINITION OF STEREOTYPING WHEN

YOU SAY IS THERE ANYBODY THATDOESN'T, FILL IN THE BLANK, IN

THIS ROOM?

RIGHT?

THAT'S LIKE GOING TO THE NAACPAND SAYING MY CANDIDACY IS A

SLAM DUNK, THERE IS NO ONE INTHIS ROOM WHO CAN'T DUNK, RIGHT?

BARBARA JORDAN, YOU CAN DUNK,RIGHT?

OKAY.

THE ONLY TIME IT'S NOT OFFENSIVETO ASSUME A ROOMFUL OF JEWISH

PESHT ARE NEGOTIATORS IS WHENARE YOU AT AN EVENT FOR THE

UNITED JEWISH NEGOTIATORS.

I MEAN IT'S LIT-- LITERALLY INSHARE SLOGAN.

WHAT WAS-- WHEN WAS THE LASTTIME THEY HAD THAT MEETING.

ONCE THE PANDEREXPRESS LEAVES THE STATION,

EVERYBODY WANTS TO HOP ON.

JOHN KASICH EVEN BROUGHT ALONGHIS MOTHER.

>> MY MOTHER TOLD ME ONE TIME,SHE SAID JOHNNY, IF YOU WANT TO

LOOK FOR A REALLY GOOD FRIEND,GET SOMEBODY WHO IS JEWISH.

YOUR JEWISH FRIEND WILL STICK BYYOUR SIDE AND FIGHT RIGHT WITH

YOU, AND STAND BY YOU.

>> Larry: SO YOU HAVE ETHNICSTRATEGY SESSIONS WITH YOUR MOM.

>> YOUR JEWISH FRIENDS ARE VERYLOYAL, YOUR ASIAN FRIENDS ARE

REALLY FUNNY.

AND YOUR MEXICAN FRIENDS ARE THEBEST LISTENERS.

THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS.

LOOK, I'M GOING TO NEED A LITTLEBIT OF HELP HERE.

SO TAKING ON JOHN KASICH'S MOM'SSUGGESTION PLEASE WELCOME MY

LOYAL JEWISH FRIEND NIGHTLY SHOWCONTRIBUTE RORY ALBANESE.

>> SHALL OM, LARRY, SHALLOM.

>> Larry: THANK YOU.

>> BEFORE WE GET STARTED I WANTTO BE CLEAR THAT I'M NOT REALLY

A VERY GOOD JEW.

NO, I WAS BAR MITZVAHED ANDSTUFF BUT I HAVEN'T DONE

ANYTHING SINCE.

SO JUST UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES,I THINK I'M PROBABLY THE BEST

YOU'VE GOT.

>> Larry: GOOD, GOOD.

ALL RIGHT WHAT DO YOU THINKABOUT KASICH'S MOM SAYING JEWISH

FRIENDS ARE MORE LOYAL.

>> YEAH, THAT'S NOT A THING.

NO, I MEAN WE MIGHT HAVE CURLYHAIR BUT WE'RE NOT LIKE

LABRADOODLES, YOU KNOW WHAT IMEAN?

I'M NOT SAYING JEWISH PEOPLECAN'T BE LOYAL.

I'M JUST SAYING BEING JEWISH ANDBEING LOYAL ARE NOT LIKE BOUND

BY SOME SORT OF TALMUDIC LAW,THAT'S NOT LIKE-- .

>> Larry: DID YOU SEE THISTHING JIM GILMORE SAYS.

>> CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT JIMGILMORE.

>> Larry: NO, WE WERE TALKINGABOUT KASICH.

>> WAIT, THOSE ARE TWO DIFFERENTDUDES, HOLY COW, THAT'S CRAZY.

I HAD NO IDEA.

>> Larry: WE HAD OUR RESEARCHDEPARTMENT FIGURE OUT.

HERE IS WHAT GILMORE SAID TO THESAME JEWISH GROUP.

>> LAST NIGHT I WAS WATCHINGSCHLINDER'S LIST.

EVERYBODY HERE HAS SEEN"SCHINDLER'S LIST."

>> Larry: "SCHINDLER'S LIST."

THAT'S HOW HE DECIDED TO RELATETO THE JEWISH AUDIENCE IS TO SEE

"SCHINDLER'S LIST"?

>> YEAH, MY REAL PROBLEM WITHTHIS IS THAT CASUAL MANNER BY

WHICH HE SAYS HE WAS WATCHING.

LAST NIGHT I WAS HOME, I CRACKEDOPEN A BREW, YOU KNOW, I TURNED

ON "SCHINDLER'S LIST," AS YOUDO.

NO, YOU DON'T.

NO, YOU DON'T!

NOBODY DOES THAT.

THAT IS A MOVIE YOU WATCH ONETIME IN THE THEATER, OUT OF

RESPECT, AND THEN YOU NEVERWATCH IT AGAIN.

THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

>> Larry: TRUE.

>> SORRY, BUT THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

>> Larry: THAT'S A VERY SADMOVIE.

VERY SAD MOVIE.

SO AS A JEWISH PERSON WERE YOUOFFENDED BY THE APPROACH ALL THE

REPUBLICANS TOOK?

>> I WAS REALLY OFFENDED BECAUSETHAT IS WHAT POLITICIANS DO,

THEY PANDER.

MY ATTITUDE IS IF YOU AREGOING TO PANDER, YOU HAVE TO

PANDER BETTER.

LIKE HEY, BEN CARSON, YOU'RE ADOCTOR.

PLAY THAT UP, YOU KNOW WHAT IMEAN?

TRUST ME ON THIS,ED CROWD WILLLOVE T THEY'LL BE EATING OUT OF

YOUR GIFTED HANDS, MAN.

>> Larry: SOUNDS GOOD.

ANY OTHER THOUGHTS, MY LOYALFRIEND?

>> YOU KNOW, LARRY, I GUESS THEBEST WAY FOR ME TO PUT ALL THIS

REPUBLICAN JEWISH THING IS THISWHOLE THING, IT'S MISHEGOSS SHA

ANDA, IT'S MESHNUG-- MESHUGGENAH AND FAKAKTAH.

>> Larry: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY.

AND I WILL ALSO ADD WHAT DOESTHAT MEAN?

>> TRUTH IS, LARRY, HAVE I NOIDEA.

MY GRANDMA, THOUGH, USED TO SAYTHOSE WORDS A LOT AND I'M PRETTY

SURE NONE OF THEM ARE GOOD.

BUT LIKE I'M SAY I'M NOT A VERYGOOD JEW.

>> Larry: THAT'S OKAY.

RORIE ALBANESE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

BUT YOU'RE LOYAL.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

NOW THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SOMETHING HAPPENED LAST NIGHTTHAT WE NEED TO DISCUSS, IN A

NEW SEGMENT CALLED "I GOT TOSAY".

>> OUR GRAPHICS ARE GET SOGELABORATE, MAN.

PRESIDENT OBAMA DECIDED TO GIVEA SPEECH ON A SUNDAY NIGHT.

AND I GOT TO SAY HE WAS SMARTENOUGH TO NOT DO IT DURING THE

FOOTBALL GAME BUT HE DID ITDURING PREGAME WHICH IS ALMOST

AS BAD.

AMERICANS TAKE THEIR PREGAMEVERY SERIOUSLY, MR. PRESIDENT.

AS THESE TWO BILLS FANS PROVEDYESTERDAY.

THAT REALLY HAPPENED, YOU GUYS.

THAT REALLY HAPPENED.

PREGAME.

I MEAN FOR ME IT'S BAD TO SEEO.J. SIMPSON'S PROUD FRANCHISE

HAVE THEIR LEGACY TARNISHED.

HORRIBLE THING.

HORRIBLE.

WE GOT SOME OLD SCHOOL IN THISAUDIENCE.

WE GOT SOME OLD SCHOOL.

NOW WE KNEW IT MUST BE ANIMPORTANT SPEECH BECAUSE

PRESIDENT OBAMA WAS GIVING ITFROM THE OVAL OFFICE.

NOW AN OVAL OFFICE ADDRESS ISTHE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON AT THE

PRESIDENT'S DISPOSAL, ASIDE FROMTHE 4,560 NUKES.

BUT THE PRESIDENT IS CALLING USINTO HIS OFFICE AS A NATION, AND

IT GRABS OUR ATTENTION IN A WAYNO OTHER SPEECH DOES.

OKAY.

SO WHAT DID HE SAY.

>> GOOD EVENING.

>> Larry: HOLD ON, OBAMA.

WHY YOU GOT A PODIUM IN YOUROFFICE?

YOU JUST PISSED AWAY YOUR WHOLEOVAL OFFICE ADVANTAGE BY

STANDING BEHIND A PODIUM.

OKAY SO TO RECAP, MISTAKE NUMBERONE.

INTERRUPTED FOOTBALL.

MISTAKE NUMBER TWO, PODIUM.

MISTAKE NUMBER THREE?

>> WE WILL DESTROY ISIL-- .

>> Larry: OKAY, STOP.

WHY YOU CALLING ISIS ISIL?

AND DO YOU REALIZE YOU DID THIS19 TIMES LAST NIGHT.

>> ISIL.

>> ISIL.

>> ISIL.

>> ISIL.

>> ISIL.

>> Larry: NOW I GET IT YOU'RETHE PRESIDENT AND YOU THINK IF

YOU SAY ISIL ENOUGH WE'LL STARTSAYING IT.

THAT'S NOT HOW THINGS CATCH ON.

WE HEARD IT AS ISIS THE FIRSTTIME.

ISIS IS AN EASIER WORD TO RHYMELIKE ISIS CRISIS.

WE'RE NOT HAVING A NATIONALCRIS-IL.

LOOK MR PRESIDENT

YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE HOPINGISIL WILL CATCH ON.

I HAVE 10,000 ISIL T-SHIRTSGATHERING DUST IN AN WAREHOUSE.

I GET T I UNDERSTAND.

BUT THE PURPOSE OF THIS CHAT WASTO CONNECT, TO CONNECT WITH

FOOTBALL LOVING AMERICANS YOUHAVE TO TALK LIKE US, NOT SOME

ISIL NERD LANGUAGE.

ALL RIGHT.

SO ANY HOW, AMERICAN JUST WENTTHROUGH A CRISIL.

OKAY.

SO MAYBE YOU HAVE SOME WORDS TOMAKE US FEEL BETTER.

>> AND I KNOW THAT AFTER SO MUCHWAR, MANY AMERICANS ARE ASKING

WHETHER WE ARE CONFRONTED BY ACANCER THAT HAS NO IMMEDIATE

CURE.

>> Larry: THANKS,MR. PRESIDENT.

I WAS FEELING KIND OF SCARED BUTTHE MENTION OF CANCER REALLY

HELPS SOOTH THE OLD NERVES.

ALL RIGHT.

ANY HOW, LOOK, I GOT TO SAY,MR. PRESIDENT, I GET IT YOU'RE

TRYING TO HAVE A SERIOUS MOMENTHERE.

YOU'RE NOT TRYING TO PANDER.

YOU'RE TRYING TO TALK TO US LIKEWE'RE ADULTS.

BUT WE'RE NOT ADULTS, WE'REAMERICANS, ALL RIGHT?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)OKAY?

HELLO?

AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO SHOW UPRIGHT BEFORE GAME TIME, YOU NEED

TO INSPIRE US WITH YOUR WORDS,NOT JUST TELL US.

AND PLEASE DO IT SITTING DOWN.

I JUST HAD TO SAY IT WE'LL BERIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WELCOME BACK, HERE

IS MY PANEL FIRST UP RORYALBANESE.

AND NIGHTLY SHOW CONTRIBUTORMIKE YARD.

AND HE'S THE CREATOR AND STAR OFNEON JOE WEREWOLF HUNTER WHICH

PREMIERS ON ADULT SWIM TONIGHT.

COMEDIAN AND ACTOR JON GLASER.

FOR EVERYONE AT HOME JOIN OURCONVERSATION ON TWITTER@NIGHTLY

SHOW USING THE HASHTAGTONIGHTLY.

I WAS TALKING ABOUT PANDERINGEARLIER IN THE SHOW IT SEEMS

LIKE THE GOP CANDIDATES WEREIN A COMPETITION TO SEE WHO

TO SEE WHO COULD PANDER TO THEJEWS

AT THE COALITION, IS IT OKAY TOSAY THINGS TO A CERTAIN GROUP OR

IS IT THE WORST THING YOU CANDO?

>> WELL, I WANT TO SAY BEFORE WEGET STARTED, NOT TO PANDER BUT

ISN'T THE NIGHTLY SHOW AUDIENCETHE BEST AUDIENCE ON THE PLANET?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I MEAN.

>> THAT'S REALLY WELL PUT.

>> COME ON!

HOW DID YOU GET AN AUDIENCE FULLOF BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU DIDIT.

>> I MEAN ARE THE TICKETS FREE,YES, ARE THEY CHEAP, A LITTLE

BIT.

OTHER THAN THAT, THOUGH.

>> I MEAN, JESUS, YOU AREWINNING, BEST AUDIENCE IN THE

HISTORY OF AUDIENCES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

>> Larry: ARE YOU SOTRANSPARENT, MY FRIEND.

>> JUST KEEPING IT A HUNDRED.

>> Larry: RIGHT.

>> KEEPING IT A HUNDRED.

>> Larry: IT'S KIND OF APOLITICIAN'S JOB TO PANDER I

GUESS IN A CERTAIN SENSEMENT BUTWHEN IT'S SO OBVIOUS, IT'S JUST

A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE TO ME.

BUT SEEING "SCHINDLER'S LIST,"THAT'S REALLY-- COME ON, HEY, I

WAS WATCHING "SCHINDLER'S LIST"THE OTHER DAY.

>> YOU SHOULD GO STRONG, FOR ME,IF YOU ARE GOING TO DO THAT,

JUST SAY, LIKE FOR ME I WATCHED"SCHINDLER'S LIST" EVERY DAY.

>> Larry: THAT'S HOW YOUSHOULD.

>> EVERY MORNING, I GOT TWOKIDS.

WE GET UP AROUND 7:00 TO STARTTHE PROCESS OF SCHOOL.

I GET UP AT 4:00.

I GOT TO STRETCH FOR 15 MINUTES.

AND THEN I SPEND THE REST OF MYTIME WATCHING "SCHINDLER'S

LIST," EVERY MORNING.

>> YEAH.

>> AND BE EMPHATIC.

>> YOU MAY NOT WATCH IT EVERYDAY BUT THAT'S HOW I START MY

DAY.

>> YEAH.

>> Larry: THAT'S JUST THEWEIRDEST THING TO SAY I JUST

WATCHED PROBABLY A MOVIE ABOUTONE OF THE WORST THINGS THAT

EVER HAPPENED TO YOUR PEOPLE,THIS MORNING.

>> IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS TRYINGTO, YOU KNOW, HONE UP ON HIS

JEWISH.

>> YEAH.

>> SO HE WAS LIKE-- WHAT DO IKNOW ABOUT THESE JEWS, I DON'T

KNOW, PUT ON "SCHINDLER'S LIST,"LIKE COME ON.

>> WHAT DO YOU WATCH FOR BLACKREPUBLICANS, "ROOTS."

>> YEAH.

>> GO DEEPER, IN YOUR CATALOG.

LIKE LISTEN, I WAS WATCHING THECHOSEN.

>> YEAH.

>> YENTLE IS A GOOD ONE TOO,BECAUSE YENTEL IS SUPERJEWISH

BUT ALSO STREISAND IS IN IT SOTHE REPUBLICANS WILL BE LIKE,

WHAT DO WE DO?

WE CAN'T PROCESS BOTH OF THOSETHINGS.

>> Larry: TOO LIBERAL.

NOW I WANT TO SAY NOT JUSTREPUBLICANS BECAUSE I REMEMBER

IN 2008 WHEN HILLARY WENT DOWNSOUTH, OR SOMETHING.

CAN WE SHOW THE HILLARY, DO YOUHAVE THE HILLARY CLIP.

>> WORDS OF JAMES CLEVELAND'SGREAT FREEDOM HYMN.

>> I DON'T FEEL NO WAYS TIRED.

I COME TOO FAR FROM WHERE ISTARTED FROM.

NOBODY TOLD ME THAT THE ROADWOULD BE EASY.

I DON'T BELIEVE HE BROUGHT METHIS FAR.

>> WOW.

>> THAT'S THE BEST.

>> Larry: CAN I GET AN AMEN.

>> SO GOOD.

THAT'S REALLY GOOD.

I'M NOT GOING TO STOP SNAPPING.

OW! OW!

>> SEE, YOU CAN'T DO IT, YOUCAN'T DO IT.

>> IT FEELS LIKE AT LEAST SHEREALLY COMMITTED TO IT.

THAT WOULD BE LIKE IF IT WASGILMORE SAID, YOU KNOW I WATCHED

"SCHINDLER'S LIST" AND EVERYONEWAS AND HE STARTED QUOTING IT,

LIKE SHE WENT QUOTE, THAT'SHARD.

LIKE HE WASN'T LIKE I READ ABOOK.

>> I'M NOT MAD AT HER.

>> LIKE DON'T DO THAT.

DON'T DO THAT.

>> WASN'T SHE RUNNING AGAINSTBARACK AT THAT TIME.

>> SHE WAS TRYING TO OUTBLACKHIM.

>> BECAUSE OBAMA GETS TO CODESWITCH AND NOBODY CARES

SO HE CAN GO IN FRONT OF A BLACKCROWD AND SAY WHAT'S UPY'ALL.

OH, HE'S TALKING TO BLACKPEOPLE.

WHO AM I TO SAY YOU SHOULD NOTTALK LIKE THAT, RIGHT?

>> SHE HAD A NICE OUTFIT THATKIND OF BALANCED IT ALL OUT

THOUGH LIKE SOME WEIRD, ITLOOKED LIKE A NEON SPACE SUIT.

>> LIKE A PANT SUIT.

>> YEAH IT ACTUALLY LOOKEDLIKE.

>> A CLASSIC PIMP OUTFIT.

>> PEACH, COME ON.

>> SOMETHING STEVE HARVEY MIGHTWEAR SO IT'S APPROPRIATE, IT'S

APPROPRIATE.

>> BUT LET'S BE REAL.

WE ALL PANDER.

I MEAN POLITICIANS, WE ALL DOIT.

WHEN ARE YOU DATING A GIRLTHAT'S PANDERING.

YOU PANDERING TO GET THE JOB.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> Larry: WAIT, YOU AREPANDERING TO GET THE GIRL.

>> YEAH, BECAUSE ARE YOU TELLINGHER EVERYTHING SHE WANTS TO

HEAR, EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT HERSO THAT YOU CAN GET IN.

IT'S THE SAME THING.

THEY JUST TRYING TO GET INAMERICA'S DRAWERS.

>> THAT COULD BE WHAT I AM DOINGWRONG.

>> Larry: SO THE POLITICIANSARE TRYING TO GET IN AMERICA'S

DRAWERS.

>> EXACTLY.

>> WHICH IS WHY.

>> EXACTLY.

>> COME ON, LARRY, YOU SEE THIS.

YOU SEE THIS.

>> LARRY, THAT'S WHY I AM SOSCARED OF A COSBY CANDIDACY,

BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE WECAN'T-- NO, BECAUSE WE CAN'T ALL

DRINK THE GOOD STUFF.

>> Larry: RORY, NOW THAT WAS ALEAP

>> A HELL OF A CONNECTION YOUTRIED TO MAKE.

>> TRYING TO GET IN AMERICA'SDRAWERS, COSBY'S GOT...

>> OH, OKAY-- .

>> Larry: WHICHCANDIDATE-- SLOWING DOWN, HOLD

UP.

>> WHICH CANDIDATE OUT THERERIGHT NOW IS THE BEST AT GETTING

IN AMERICA'S DRAWERS?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> TRUMP MIGHT BE DOING THE BESTJOB BECAUSE HE'S-- .

>> Larry: TRUMP DOESN'T MAKEPROMISES.

HE JUST PANDERS.

>> YEAH, BUT THAT'S PROBABLY WHYHE'S SO GOOD, THAT IS WHY PEOPLE

ARE SO SMITTEN WITH HIM BECAUSEHE SAYS STUFF THAT ARE YOU NOT

SUPPOSED TO SAY OUT LOUD OUTLOUD.

LIKE YOU KNOW, HE DOES.

AND PEOPLE ARE LIKE OH-- THAT ISKIND OF RACIST.

>> Larry: BUT HE SAYS [BLEEP]YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE THINKING

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

>> YEAH.

>> Larry: IT SHOULDN'T BELURKING IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

>> AT ALL.

>> Larry.

>> HE SHOULDN'T BE THINKING THAT[BLEEP] ANYWAY.

ALL MEXICANS ARE RAPISTS, IREALLY SHOULDN'T TELL ANYBODY

THIS.

>> TAMP IT DOWN.

>> THAT'S BECAUSE TRUMP DOESN'TGET THE CONCEPT OF PANDERING.

IT'S NOT PANDERING IF YOU CALLPEOPLE THE BLACKS.

>> THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING.

>> PANDERING IS GOOD AND WE'LLACCEPT T YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN F

IT'S A GOOD THING.

LIKE IF YOU COME IN FRONT OF AGROUP OF REPUBLICAN BLACK MEN

AND ARE YOU LIKE SO WHAT'S UPWITH THEM BIG DICKS.

SO BROAD, BLANKET STATEMENT.

>> LET THAT HAPPEN AT THE NEXTONE.

>> WE WOULD LIKE THAT.

>> PLEASE.

>> NEVER HAPPENS AT THE JEWISHCOALITION, EVER, BY THE WAY.

>> HIT THEM WITH THE BIG DICKLINE.

>> WHY WOULD I DO, THAT WRONGMEETING, SORRY, THESE ARE THE

WRONG NOTES.

>> I'M JUST SAYING.

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT, ALLRIGHT.

NOW WE GOT TO PANDER TO OURSPONSORS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> OH, NICE.

NICE.

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