April 21, 2016 - Russell Simmons

  • 04/21/2016

Utah officials fight pornography but ignore a rise in STDs, and Larry discusses the passing of rock legend Prince with Russell Simmons, Robin Thede and Jordan Carlos.

-WILMORE: Ooh...!-(cheering, whistling, applause)

AUDIENCE (chanting):Larry! Larry! Larry!

Thank you very much.Thank you.

-Larry! Larry!-Man, look at this crowd!

-Larry! Larry!-Thank you so much.

Welcome to The Nightly Show. Thank you, guys.

-(chanting dying down)-Such a good crowd.

(laughs):Yes, I am Larry Wilmore.

Thank you so much. This isa rockin' crowd tonight, man.

-(cheering, applause)-I like this crowd.

Uh... Russell Simmons is on theshow this evening, joining us.

-(cheering, applause)-We've very excited about that.

It's gonna be a lot of fun.

Okay, but... but tonightwe're doing a segment

we call"Cleaning Up Dirty States."

(laughs):I have no idea.

All right, guys, now, you knowI promised not to forget

about the peoplein Flint, Michigan,

and their ongoing water crisis.

So Michigan governor,Rick Snyder, is so sure

that Flint's wateris safe again,

he's doing the unthinkable--he's drinking it.

Michigan governor, Rick Snyder,says he will comply

with demandsfrom people in Flint

and drink filtered water from the city

for the next 30 days.

Filtered water?

Um... excuse me,but the only reason

Flint residentsdemanded you drink that

was so you could get poisoned.

-(laughter)-Okay?

That was why...

The filterkind of defeats that purpose.

Can't you do anything right?Jesus!

Um, uh, by the way...

(whispers):we took the filter.

(laughter, applause)

-Uh-oh.-(whooping)

You guys clap.

He's gonna get poisoned!Yeah, Larry!

Poison that (bleep)!

So yes, it is satisfyingto see Governor Snyder

drink the dirty water,but the people of Flint

aren't just getting vengeance,they're also getting justice.

Breaking news from Michigan

surroundingthe Flint water investigation.

Three people now have been charged

with criminal offenses

for allegedly misleading regulators

about the lead crisis.

Damn! Poor peoplegettin' justice

for (bleep) up stuff that'shappened to them! What?!

-(whooping, applause)-What?!

I mean... was that clipfrom the Syfy network?

This... this is so exciting,you guys.

Um, there are so many peoplethat I want to thank.

Um... Sorry, I wasn'texpecting this, so, you know.

Um, I'd of course, uh,like to thank Bill Schuette,

Michigan's attorney general,

uh, Todd Flood, Special Counsel

for the state investigationinto the crisis.

Oh, and Dr. Mona Hanna-Attisha.

She was the local pediatrician

who first brought this storyto light,

-(orchestral music plays)-allowed people...

Oh, oh, okay, uh,more people to thank.

Uh, the, uh...the-the Detroit Free Press,

-♪ -who stayed with thislike a dog with a bone,

-(music grows louder) -andwho's... and who's integrity...

Oh, come on, guys,play-off music?

-♪ -I can't...How are you gonna play me off?

-♪ -This is my show!

Okay, fine!

Go to bed, kids.

(music stops)

All right.

-(whooping, applause)-Playing me off.

All right, our next dirty state

that needs a little cleaningis Utah.

Yeah. Where the water's clean,

but it's the mindsthat are dirty.

NEWSWOMAN: Gary Herbert will sign a resolution into law

that declares pornography a public health crisis.

Okay. I know, I know. Okay.

All right, my prediction,my prediction--

Governor Herbert will try tosign that resolution into law,

but then a sexy secretarywill ask him what he's doing

with his big pen, and then...

(imitates porn music)

-(laughter)-Right?

You know... you know,you know how that goes.

Whoo!

Mmm!

Okay, guys, look, I...I know Utah's pretty strict,

but are they serious about pornbeing a public health crisis?

Well, apparently,just listen to this Utahn,

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland.

We do need to see thislike avian flu

or choleraor diphtheria or polio.

It needs to be eradicated.

Hold on a second.

Um, as dangerous as polio?

Not true.

FDR had polio,and he was a freak in the sack.

-(laughter)-Right?

-(applause) -It's true.

I don't make this up, you guys.

You're welcome, sir. Just tryingto protect your legacy there.

Uh, look, there's a riskof contracting a virus

if you're in a porn, but youcan't catch "the porns," right?

Doc, what's going on?

Well, it looks like you gota case of the porns, son.

Uh... good news,I've got the cure.

(imitates porn music)

(laughter)

(applause)

Well, you guys are sick.

Sick crowd here.

I like... I like this crowd,I like this crowd.

Larry, can you give ussomething for our water?

-Yeah.-(laughter)

I like this crowd.Fun crowd.

I know. It's a fun crowd.I agree, I agree.

We're from Scotland and Africa,Larry. Come on.

-All right.-(laughter)

(laughs):But, uh...

I'll tell you, you know what is a public health crisis?

STDs. Which have exploded--pun intended--

in Utah in the last few years.

It's exploded.This is true, guys.

And it's...that is a public health crisis

that Utah doesn't seem eagerto address.

Because while thisanti-porn resolution passed,

a different bill to allowcomprehensive sex education

in public schools did not.

How's a guy supposedto juggle five wives

without any sex education?

-(laughter)-Hello, Utah? Are you listening?

Now, under current Utah laws,

schools aren't allowed to provide instructions

or materials on homosexuality, sex outside of marriage

and contraception.

And Utah has the highest numberof paid porn subscribers

of any state.

Okay. Okay.All right, all right.

I got two questionsfor you, Utah.

Number one--with all this repression,

can't you see whyyou're watching so much porn?

And number two--why are you paying for it?

(laughter)

-(applause)-Hello? Doesn't make sense.

Okay.

All right, guys,for more on this,

let's check inwith a concerned Utah resident.

Hi, Larry.

(cheering, applause)

WILMORE:Hey.

-Hi.-How you doing?

I'm Elder Masters.

Uh, hi, Elder Masters.

Hi, Larry!

-WILMORE: Oh. -It's me.I'm Elder Johnson. Hi.

WILMORE:Oh, hi.

Why are you guyson a tandem bike?

It's the fastest wayto get around town

-to collect all this porn.-Yes, right.

The filthy, filthy porn.

-BOTH: This is our mission!-Uh...

Wait. Y-Your mission?

Oh, yeah. Larry,seriously, I mean,

look at all this porn, man. It'severywhere. It's disgusting.

WILMORE:Wait, hold on a second,

so you're justgrabbing people's porn?

-We're doing God's will.-Yeah. You wouldn't believe

-the haul we got fromthe Romney compound. -Wait...

-Oh.-Romney?

-Oh, my God.-Mitt Romney?

Oh, dear God, yes, so muchfilth, Larry. So much.

And also, Larry, true story--

we saw the imageof a man putting his hands

-under his own vestments.-Oh!

Uh, do you...

you mean masturbating?

-I don't know.-Yeah, I don't know.

-I don't know.-Whatever you call it.

Wait, guys. Have...

You've never masturbated,have you?

No, no, no, no! Don't touchdown there. Oh, come on!

-God does not like that!-It's okay, it's all right,

calm down, calm down.It's okay.

Larry, did you knowmissionary is an...

also a naughty position?(laughs)

Sacrilegious.

Uh...

I-It's actuallynot that naughty.

It's probably-it's probablythe least naughty of all...

Look, guys, it seems likeyou're old enough

to know all this already.You haven't...

You really haven't learnedanything by now, have you?

Hey, this is our... this isa new world to us, Larry.

-It's a nasty, dirty world...-Ugh, filthy.

...that is both repugnantand exciting.

Okay. See, guys,this is what I mean.

This is what happens when sexis oppressed in societies.

You've been raisedto think it's all wrong.

(scoffs) It doesn't matterwhat we think, Larry.

-It's what God thinks.-That's right, that's right.

Jesus didn't usehis tinkle stick for sin. No.

-No, he didn't.-No. Neither will we.

No, we won't.Up until yesterday

we thought a blow jobis when you put your genitalia

underneatha bathroom hand dryer.

Yeah. That-that does feelvery good, though.

-It feels amazing.-Yeah.

-No, it doesn't, no, it doesn't.-Uh, I don't think that's right.

You should try that,uh, Dyson Airblade,

-it's amazing.-Okay, let me ask you this...

Guys, guys.

Guys, so, what are yougonna do with the porn,

um, after you confiscate it?

BOTH: I'm gonnatake it home and destroy it.

No, I'll take it home.

-No, I got it.-I got if.

-No, I'll take it. -I-I shouldtake it. -Okay, I think I see

where this is going.Elders Masters and Johnson.

-We'll be right back.-I'm closer to God.

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Welcome back.Okay, guys,

it is prom season,and you know what that means.

Time to get racist.

Don't believe me?

All right, check out someof this year's viral promposals.

Oh, and if you don't knowwhat a promposal is,

it's a super elaborate way kidsare asking each other to prom.

Like wedding proposal, okay?Anyhow, here's the latest trend.

Uh, this confident white dude'spromposal consisted of wearing

a KFC hat and making a sign

that read "I preferdark meat. Prom?"

-(audience groans)-Uh, hold on, hold on.

To his credit, he also gave hera matching KFC hat and flowers.

So, what he lost in racismhe almost made up for

in cuteness and gallantry.

And it's not just dumb guyswho are pulling this crap.

Check out howthis white teenage girl

asked her black date to prom.

Just a watermelonwith the question "Prom?".

And she's wearing gym clothes.

I mean, she couldn't haveput less effort in

if she tried, guys.All right.

But I will give her pointsfor simplicity.

Wait a second,can I see that again?

Does she haveswim floaties on her arms?

What is that about?Did she just come from

a swim lesson or is she makinganother racist joke

that black peoplecan't swim, hmm?

To her credit, that isa fact, you guys. Come on.

Is she wrong?

-AUDIENCE: Yes.-Okay.

Yes, she is.

You're right, you're right--she's wrong.

It's hilarious,she's horribly wrong.

Okay, okay, moving on. Thisnext one might be my favorite.

This is-this is amazing.The sign says

"Before Trumpdeports you... prom?"

And she's holding a Cuban flag.

Okay, first of all,first of all, first of all,

Trump wants to deportMexicans, not Cubans,

so you didn't evenget your stereotype right.

And secondly,

what the entire (bleep)?

I don't understand.

Okay, this last one,I really don't get.

Check out how a Muslim teen boyasked his white date to prom.

"I hope this doesn't blow youaway but it would be the bomb

if we went to prom."

What is going on here?

How are you going to be racistagainst yourself?

Okay, either these kids don'tget it or they just don't care.

I have to find outwhat's going on here.

So, to help me shed some lighton these racist promposals

is an interracial,uh, prom couple.

Vinny Tirricoand Charisma Kerrigan.

-(cheering, applause)-(dance music in distance)

-Hey, Larry!-Thank you for having us.

Class of 2016!

-Yeah! -How's it...how's it going, guys?

Great. It's awesome.

Oh, great. Okay, now,so, I have to know

what you guys think aboutthis racist promposal trend.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, La-Larry,first off, they're not racist.

Wh... How are they not racist?

We... we don't expect someone ofyour advanced age to understand,

but our generationdoesn't know racism.

We didn't grow up with slaverylike you did, you know.

Um...

my generationdidn't have slavery, either.

-Really? -Uh, Charisma,please help me here.

You're black, and you have toadmit this trend is racist.

We're living in a post-racialworld, Larry.

We don't see color.

What?

So you're okay with this?

Yeah, I think it's sweet.

It shows he took timeto research my culture.

-Google.-Oh, my God.

Okay, I'm afraid to ask, but howdid Vinny prompose to you?

Oh, man, it was classic.

Baby, baby, show him the sign.Show him the sign.

"I maid this for you

so you'd be 'the help'at my prom."

-So dope, so dope.-So cute.

-Let me get some sug...Let me get some... -No.

It's not dope.

Uh, Charisma, why would yousay yes to this?

Because he also gave me a broomwith a carrying handle.

He's so thoughtful.

Uh, Charisma, Charisma,that's not a carrying handle.

That's a noose.

What's a noose?

Oh, my God.

You-you guys know nothing.

This is a horribleste... stereotype.

They're racist.It's offensive.

You can't put these thingson-on signs...

You know, hey, Lar...Hold on, hold on, Larry.

-What? -I'd liketo take a minute, um,

to ask Charismaa very special question.

Um, now, if you'd justpick up your board again

and turn it around. Um...

"I wanna turn you

from my prom queento my trap queen."

Oh, my God.

-Here's some crack.-Oh, my God!

(gasps)Crack-- are you kidding me?

Will you be my pro...uh, t-trap queen?

Yes, of course.

Oh, my God, Vinny.

Thank you, Larry.We're in love.

You can't propose to herwith a bag of crack!

That cannot... Oh, forget it.

Vinny Tirrico and CharismaKerrigan, everybody.

We'll be right back.You can't use crack!

What's wrong with you guys?Oh...

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Welcome back. I'm herewith my panel. First up,

Nightly Show ContributorRobin Thede.

(cheering and applause)

Nightly Show ContributorJordan Carlos.

(cheering and applause)

And he's The New York Times best-selling author.

His latest book, The Happy Vegan, is available now.

And, of course, the cofounderof Def Jam Records.

You can check out his latestventure, All Def Digital,

with its upcoming roastof Snoop Dogg.

Russell Simmons, everybody.

-(cheering and applause)-Yeah!

And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now

on Twitter, @NightlyShow,using the hashtag #Tonightly.

So, I had a subject all pickedout for, uh, tonight's show,

but then Prince passed away.So I'm like, "(bleep) it."

-Let's talk about Prince, man.-Right? Yes! -Yes.

I figured, plus,we got Russell Simmons,

-a media music mogulon our panel tonight. -(whoops)

And, uh, what better night totalk about somebody who, uh...

I mean, for me,Prince just meant so much.

The '80s was justan interesting time for music.

-Michael Jacksonand Prince just exploded. -Yeah.

-Just exploded.-They changed everything.

-Absolutely. That'swhat it seemed like. -Yeah.

And, uh... Did Prince meansomething to you at that time?

-I thought he was oneof the sweetest people -Uh-huh.

that I've ever met. I mean,every time I've ever met him,

he was really nice to me.And he's very...

He was very sweet to allthe fans that approached him.

But I didn't really havea-a tight relationship with him,

-so I can't give youany personal insight. -Right.

-Mm-hmm. -And in the '80s,we were kind of, like...

our whole job was to rebel,so Michael and Prince

-were not, like,our best heroes. -Right.

But I-I remember watching"When Doves Cry"

-and-and getting into him,like, more. -Yeah. -Yeah.

The-the melodies always got me.Like, at first, we-we thought

of them as not... 'Causethey didn't like us very much.

-Who? -You know...The whole music... Everybody.

-The '80s... -When you...when you came in with Def Jam,

-is that what you're saying?You weren't... -Yeah.

you weren't liked.So the sonic landscape

-was a lot different back then.Yeah. Yeah. -Yes.

-Yeah. -But I look back now,and, of course, you know,

-I have such great appreciationfor him, -Yeah,

-all he contributed.-Russell, I'm saying let it go.

(laughter)

-I think they love you now.You know what I mean? -I...

They-they do love you now.But at-at a time, I mean...

I mean, if you think about it,like, you...

our-our black artistswere, like... you had...

okay, so you had Run-D.M.C.and then also Prince.

I-I mean, I had postersof that in... both in my room,

-you know what I mean?So, uh, at a time, -Mm-hmm.

that-that'swhat I was listening to.

So I-I love Prince 'cause he,like, embraced his sensuality

as well. Like, black dudesweren't doing that back then,

you know? Like, I didn't...When I... when I saw the video,

I was like, "Mommy,what is that?" You know?

Like, he's, like...You know what I'm saying?

-Like, I-I didn't know what...-Prince was the guy

that the women lovedand the men loved, too.

I mean, how many dudes are like,"I'm not gay,

but Prince though?"Like, be real.

It... You know,but it's like this dude, like,

he-he merged everything feminineand masculine,

-and he just did somethingthat no one else... -Yeah.

Especially a black artist.I mean, people like, you know,

Bowie and stuff definitelygender-bend and stuff like that.

But, like, in the blackcommunity, Prince just had

this place that no onewill ever be able to replace.

-Yeah.-I like that he introduced us

-to Morris Day and the Time.-(laughter)

-That's true. -It's true.But after Purple Rain,

like, people hated Morris Day.Like, that was really who...

-You know what I'm saying?-I liked Morris Day after, uh...

-I'm sorry. I-I liked him more.-You liked him more?

-And Vanity, too. I liked hera lot. -Oh, yeah. -Yeah.

-Like, I liked Vanity. -Yes.Yes. Well, that was the thing

-about Prince... -And what's theone who checked out as-as well?

Who was really also anothervery beautiful girl that he...

-Oh, Apollonia?-Apollonia. -Yeah. -Sheila E.

-He put so many women on.-Right. Sheila E. was great.

-Sheila E. hit the scene. -Yeah.No, he put so many women on

and got on so many women.It was just a good,

-good life!-(laughter)

-True. I...-It was a good balance.

I remember one of the first...Like, I...

"Soft and Wet" was probablythe first Prince song.

-THEDE: Oh, you nasty!You're so nasty! -No, but, no.

But I remember hearing that,and I'm going,

-"Who's singing this?!"I'm, like... -Yeah.

It did. I mean,even thinking that.

I'm like, "Can you...are you allowed

-to even singsomething like that?" -I know.

-But...-He was a... He made a lot...

-He broke a lot of barriers.-WILMORE: Yeah.

He did a lot of interestingand alternative and fun things,

and a lot of people in thecommunity loved him, and...

-and I came to love him.-WILMORE: Yeah. -THEDE: Yeah.

-So I'm... like...-CARLOS: He also, I mean..

He also gave us, like,if you think about it,

you came to love him. That'sgreat. You appreciated it. Yeah.

-(applause and cheering) -THEDE:Yeah. -SIMMONS: And also, Mayte

-was wonderful, right?-WILMORE: Yeah. -THEDE: Yeah.

-Mayte was...-THEDE: Oh, fabulous.

Right, and she's, like,one of the sweetest people

-still in the moment.-THEDE: Yup. -WILMORE: Right.

You know, I feel for allthe people that he left behind.

-Yeah. -That's true.-Or what... I mean, like...

When you lose somebody likethat, though, when you lose...

it's almost like you feel sorryfor yourself more,

because, you know,I never knew Prince.

WILMORE: Jordan,is this a therapy session?

This is a therapy session.

-It's celebration! -But I neverknew Prince... -Right.

...but it's like I know himfrom, like, memories

of, like, dancing to his songs,you know what I'm saying?

Like, I remember listeningto "Scandalous"

on the Batman soundtrack.

Anybody else know that songat all? Okay.

Great song, romantic song.I was, like, a kid,

and I was, like,"Oh, man, this is so sexy.

If I had a girl...if I had a girl..."

-(laughter) -If I knew whatto do with a girl, right.

Yeah. "If I knew what to dowith a girl and my body,

-this would be even better."-(laughter)

-You know what I mean?-SIMMONS: How old were you

-when you had this conversation?-THEDE: Right.

I was a...I was a young... I was a...

-THEDE: He was about 20... 28.-I was a very realized kid.

-You know, I was like...-WILMORE: Last year.

-...12 years old, man.-Oh, okay, all right.

Yeah. I was like, "Dear diary."

-WILMORE: Exactly.-"Captain's log."

WILMORE: Robin, now you gotto see Prince up close, right?

-Yeah. I... -Oh, what the(bleep)? What does that mean?

-No, I had...-Okay, come on!

No, I have a... a have a greatPrince story, actually.

Um, I had written a bigmusical opening for the host

of the Image Awardsabout five years ago.

WILMORE:Uh-huh. Right.

And I'm standing backstage, andPrince may or may not perform.

We don't know.

It's always like a guess if he'sgoing to perform on these shows.

And so, he's backstage, and he'sstanding next to Halle Berry,

and I'm already like, "My lifeis everything right now!"

-And-and...-WILMORE: You can't tell

if it's himbecause he's doing... -Right.

But he walks up... he walks up,and he's like,

-"Great opening."And that was it, right? -Yeah.

So, okay, flash forwardto the end of the show.

His assistant,or who, whatever, comes in,

just walks up this closeto my face, to me and my friend,

and goes, "Prince would liketo invite to you his house."

And I'm like, "Oh, my God!Oh, my God! Oh, my God!"

-So, wait. So I'm freaking out.-WILMORE: That's hilarious!

-WILMORE: He soundedjust like that? -Yes.

-He did that to my wife.-THEDE: What? But no.

-CARLOS: Whoa! That's whatI'm talking about.

-WILMORE: The same dude? That'shilarious. -SIMMONS: Uh, yeah.

But it was like a private party.Was that what

-she was invited to? Yes.-Yeah, it was a private party.

So they go, "Okay, you haveto go to this secret location

in Bel Air, and you park there,and you wait."

And so, we wait, right,and we park there.

-What is this? -And we wait, andthen a van comes up, and the guy

opens the door,and he goes, "Get in."

And we're like, "Okay!"And so...

-So we get in.-Right.

And we get takento this winding road in Bel Air,

and we come up to this housethat's lit up in purple.

-And we're like, "This must bethe place!" -WILMORE: Yup.

And then, we walk back pastthis palatial mansion,

we go into the guest housewhich is the size of a city.

-WILMORE: Mm-hmm. -And there'spurple. The symbol, right?

The symbol of Prince, like,on the floors and stuff.

-Right. -Right.-And then, you just hear, "Oh!"

-(laughter) -And then you look,and he gets on stage.

-He plays for four hours.-WILMORE: Wow.

We didn't get to the partytill 2:00 in the morning.

-WILMORE: Really? Okay.-He plays for four hours.

-And there's only maybe30 people there. -WOMAN: Wow.

-CARLOS: Wow.-And then at the end,

he comes off stage, you guys.

-He comes off stage.-(laughter)

He comes off stage, and he goes,"You made me laugh."

(laughter)

-WILMORE: Very good. -CARLOS:That's what I'm talking about.

-That's what I'm talking about.-WILMORE: All right.

-(applause and cheering)-Great story.

All right, Prince,we're gonna miss you.

At least most of us.We'll be right back.

(cheers and applause)

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