Futurama
Season 2

Xmas Story

  • Season 2, Ep 4
  • 12/19/1999

An evil robotic Santa Claus attack shows Fry how Christmas has changed in the last 1,000 years.

ANOTHER POINTLESS DAYWHERE I ACCOMPLISH NOTHING.

( slurps )

( sighs )

The holiday season is a timeof celebration for most

but it is alsoa time to remember

the tragic sufferingof the less fortunate.

Earthlings do not yet knowthe meaning of suffering.

( evil laughter )

( laughing )

Earlier today,I visited a shelter

for down-and-out robots--

homeless robots,too poor to afford

even the basic alcohol they needto fuel their circuits.

Is there anything sadder?

Only drowning puppies

and there would have to bea lot of them.

WHERE YOU GOING, BENDER?

TO VOLUNTEER AT A LIQUOR KITCHENFOR HOMELESS ROBOTS.

YEAH, RIGHT.

AS IF YOU EVER DIDANYTHING CHARITABLE.

I'M VERY GENEROUS.

WHAT ABOUT THAT TIMEI GAVE BLOOD?

WHOSE BLOOD?

SOME GUY'S.

I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHINGTO SHOW LEELA HOW SORRY I AM.

SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

SIMPLY GET DOWNON YOUR CLAWS

AND DO THE APOLOGY DANCE.

♪ YA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA... ♪

SO IT'S LEFT, LEFT,RIGHT... WAIT!

I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

I'LL GO OUT AND GET HERTHE PERFECT XMAS PRESENT--

SOMETHING SO GREAT, SHE'LL NEVERWANT TO BE UNHAPPY AGAIN.

JUST BE BACKBY SUNDOWN, MON.

WE'LL SEE. ILIKE TO HAGGLE.

YOU CAN'T STAY OUT ON XMAS EVE.

YOU'LL BE KILLED.

SAY WHAT?

GOOD LORD

HE DOESN'T KNOWABOUT SANTA CLAUS.

I KNOW ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.

BACK IN 2801,THE FRIENDLY ROBOT COMPANY

BUILT A ROBOTIC SANTATO DETERMINE

WHO'D BEEN NAUGHTYAND WHO'D BEEN NICE

AND DISTRIBUTE PRESENTSACCORDINGLY

BUT SOMETHING WENT WRONG.

WOW, 2801.

ANYWAY...

WAIT, YOU FOOL!

DUE TO A PROGRAMMING ERROR

SANTA'S STANDARDSWERE SET TOO HIGH

AND HE INVARIABLY JUDGESEVERYONE TO BE NAUGHTY.

IF HE CATCHES YOUAFTER DARK

HE'LL CHOP OFF YOUR HEAD

AND STUFF YOUR NECKFULL OF TOYS

FROM HIS SACK OF HORRORS.

( gulps )

NICE MEETING YOU.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO RUINEVERYONE'S XMAS.

HUH? YOU WERE GONE?

IT'S JUST THATI GET TIRED OF FRY

ALWAYS ONLYTHINKING OF HIMSELF.

I HEAR THAT.

I ASK HIM TO SET THE TABLE.

INSTEAD HE GOES OUTTO BUY YOU A PRESENT.

SELFISH DOG.

WAIT. YOU MEANHE'S STILL OUT?

HIS LIFE'S IN DANGER.

WHY?

I'M TELLING YOU WHY.

SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN.

( squawking )

ALL RIGHT, BIRD.

YOU THOUGHT YOU COULDBEAT ME IN A GAME OF WITS

BUT YOU JUST MET YOUR EQUAL.

( gulps )

( squawks )

( squawking )

AHA!

CORNERED.

( squawks )

( whimpering )

( screams )

WHEW!

( screams )

WHEW!

( screams )

HI THERE.

LEELA!

OH, MY GOD, YOU SAVED MY LIFE.

I AM GOING TO GET YOUSO MANY LIZARDS.

YOU DIDN'T NEED TO BUY MEA PRESENT, FRY.

I JUST WANTEDTO DO SOMETHINGTO MAKE YOU HAPPY.

I MEAN, IMISS MY FAMILY

BUT YOU NEVER EVENHAD A FAMILY.

IT'S OKAY.

YOU'RE LONELYAND I'M LONELY

BUT TOGETHER,WE'RE LONELY TOGETHER.

MERRY XMAS, LEELA.

MERRY XMAS.

( rumbling footsteps )

( gasps )

OH, BOY!

IT'S SANTA.

HO... HO... HO!

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