January 29, 2014 - Cris Carter

  • 01/29/2014

Stephen trains for Super Bowl greatness, the Puppy Bowl gets a new player, Joe Biden distracts at the State of the Union, and Cris Carter discusses football and "Going Deep."

>> Stephen: WHOOO!

HOOO-HOOO!

HOOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: COME ON!

BOOM!

WHOOO!

WHOOO!

WHOOO!

BABY!

WHOOO!

YOU'RE IN THE HOUSE TONIGHT.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: GOOD TO HAVE YOU

WITH US.

FOLKS, WELCOME, WELCOME ONEAND ALL.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

AS YOU CAN TELL BY THEENERGY IN THIS ROOM WE ARE

IN NIGHT THREE OF MY SUPERBOWL COVERAGE AND I AM PUMPED

FOR SUNDAY'S BIG GAME WHICHTO ME IS FOOTBALL CHRISTMAS.

EVERY YEAR I PUT OUT A PLATEOF BUFFALO WINGS AND RANCH

DRESSING IN THE HOPES THATTERRY BRADSHAW WILL COME

DOWN MY CHIMNEY.

IT HASN'T HAPPENED YET.

BUT I STILL BELIEVE, TERRY!

(LAUGHTER)WITH THE BIG GAME JUST A FEW

DAYS AWAY AMERICA IS RUNNINGOUT OF TIME TO DECIDE WHICH

TEAM THEY PRETENDED TO HAVELIKED ALL ALONG.

AND FOLKS WE'VE HAD A LOT OFFUN HERE AT THE REPORT.

IT HAS BEEN A GREAT WEEK OFFOOTBALL GUESTS, ANALYSIS

AND NONLEGALLY ACTIONABLE SYNONYMS FOR SUNDAY'S

BIG GAME.

I HAVE REALLY GROWN TO LOVETHE OLD SPLIT COW HIDE AS NO

ONE CALLS IT(LAUGHTER)

>> BUT I THINK PERHAPS I'MMOST EMOTIONAL ABOUT THE

JOURNEY I HAVE TAKEN TOWARDBECOMING A FORMER

CHAMPIONSHIP CALIBREPROFESSIONAL ATHLETE,

TONIGHT JOIN ME NOW IN THEDRAMATIC CONCLUSION OF

STEPHEN COLBERT'S FALLBACKPOSITION.

STEPHEN COLBERT'S FALLBACKPOSITION.

LAST NIGHT I ASKED LEGENDARYCOACH JOE GIBBS FOR HIS HELP

IN MY QUEST FOR A SUPER BOWLRING.

AND MASTERED THE ART OFQUARTERBACKING WITH THE

DREAM MAKER STEVE CLARKSON.

>> OKAY, I KNOW WHERE I AM.

AFTER ALMOST 45 MINUTES OFGRUELING PREPARATION IT WAS

TIME TO SHOW THE OLD MANWHAT I WAS MADE OF.

>> WELL, COACH, I'M ABOUT TOPLAY MY FIRST SCRIMMAGE,

OBVIOUSLY THE MOST IMPORTANTTHING BEFORE ANY GAME IS THE

INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH BY THECOACH.

I HAVE WRITTEN A FEW WORDSHERE.

I WOULDN'T MIND HEARING FROMA MAN LIKE YOU.

>> STEPHEN, I HAVE COACHEDMANY A MAN BUT NONE LIKE

YOU.

YOU COMBINE CHARISMA, LOOKSAND ATHLETICISM INTO ONE

DAZZLING PACKAGE.

SO GO OUT THERE AND WIN ONEFOR THE GIPPER.

BY WHICH I MEAN RONALDREAGAN.

SHOW ME THE MONEY?

ARE YOU THERE GOD?

IT'S ME MARGARET.

EYE OF THE TIGER.

>> Stephen: OH, I SHOULD GO.

I WOULD BE JOINED BY FORMERNFL RECEIVER ISAAC BRUCE,

FOUR TIME PRO BOWLER, SUPERBOWL CHAMP AND THE THELMA TO

MY LOUISE.

MY OPPONENT, GERALD McCOY,TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

DEFENSIVE TACKLE, ONE OF THEMOST FEARED DEFENDERS IN THE

NFL TWO TIME PRO BOWLER AND300 POUNDS OF ANGRY MAN MEAT.

>> STEPHEN THIS IS WHERE WETALK ABOUT LEADERSHIP NOW,

THIS IS ABOUT OWNING THEROOM.

>> Stephen: I OWN IT.

>> I CONTROL IT, MAKE USBELIEVE.

>> HE DOES NOT OWN IT.

>> IT IS YOUR SHOW.

>> AND WHEN DO WE HUDDLE.

>> WE'RE IN IT, WE'REHUDDLING.

WE'RE IN THE HUDDLE RIGHTNOW.

>> WHAT GO WE DO NOW.

>> CALL THE PLAY.

>> YOU GO DOWN THERE AND IWILL THROW YOU A BALL.

>> OKAY.

>> HOLD THIS.

>> HERE.

>> BLINK 182.

MAROON 5.

HUT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WHATARE YOU DOING.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

>> THIS IS FOOTBALL.

>> YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED TOONE MISSISSIPPI TWO

MISSISSIPPI THREEMISSISSIPPI.

>> YOU SNAPPED THE BALL.

>> HAVE YOU NEVER BEEN TOMISSISSIPPI.

>> NO.

>> IS THAT HOW YOU WIN ASUPER BOWL, ISAAC.

>> THROW THE BALL OVERHERE WHERE WILL YOU BE.

>> AND WHEN IT IS OVER HERE.

>> I WILL BE RIGHT HERE.

>> LET'S DO THAT. WHERE AREYOU GOING, BALL IS OVER HERE,

ALL RIGHT, THAT IS WHAT IWANT.

LET'S DO THIS THING.

>> YOU'RE GOING TO SNAP METHE BALL.

YOU'RE GOING TO WATCHGREATNESS IN ACTION.

>> LET'S DO THIS SAM.

>> DOWN, SET, HUT.

>> I'M SCARED.

I'M SCARED.

NO I THINK HONESTY IS THEMOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE

HUDDLE.

>> NO, IT'S NOT.

>> TOO LEGIT TO QUIT, HIKE.

>> WHERE ARE YOU?

>> EXCUSE ME, CAN I TALK TOYOU PLEASE, ISAAC, CAN I

TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

>> YOU'RE FAST ANDEVERYTHING, BUT GET

SOMEPLACE AND THEN STAYTHERE.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HIT AMOVING TARGET?

OKAY?

ALL RIGHT?

OH, ARE YOU-- ARE YOU UPSETWITH ME.

>> A LITTLE BIT YEAH.

>> ARE YOU ANGRY WITH ME.

>> YES.

>> YOU'RE ANGRY.

>> YEAH, I'M NOT HAPPY.

>> YOU'RE NOT HAPPY?

>> NO.

>> YOU KNOW, YOUARE' REINFORCING THE UGLY

STEREOTYPE OF AN ANGRY BLACKMAN RIGHT NOW.

>> YEAH.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> OKAY,.

>> THAT'S ON YOU.

>> OKAY.

>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

>> OKAY.

>> DOWN.

SET, THREE RINGS FOR THEELVIN KING, SEVEN FOR THE --

AND THE HALLS OF STONE, NINEFOR MORTAL MEN DOOMED TO

DIE.

ONE FOR THE DARK LORD, HIKE.

ONE FOR THE DARK LORD, HIKE.

>> Stephen: WHOOO!

WHOOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHOOO!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHOOO!

>> YOU SAW ME OUT THERE.

GIVE ME YOUR HONEST OPINION,DO YOU THINK I'VE GOT A SHOT

ON THE BIG DAY?

>> I CAN SAY WITH CERTAINTYYOU'RE GOING TO BE PLAYING

ON SUPER BOWL SUNDAY.

>> WHOOO!

WITHIN IT'S PUPPY BOWL.

WITHIN IT'S PUPPY BOWL.

WITHIN IT'S PUPPY BOWL.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT,LISTEN UP.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE HELLYOU THINK YOU'RE DOING OUT

THERE BUT IT SURE AS [BLEEP]AIN'T FOOTBALL.

THIS IS PUPPY BOWL GODDAMMIT.

LOOK.

YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BUNCHOF BITCHES.

NOW I UNDERSTAND THAT SOMEYOU ACTUALLY ARE BITCHES AND

I APOLOGIZE, I DIDN'T MEANTHAT AS A SLUR.

I MEANT THAT YOU ARE NOTAPPLYING YOURSELF TO THE

SPORT.

EXCUSE ME, DON'T EAT MYCHALK.

NOW LISTEN UP, IT ALL COMESDOWN TO TODAY.

WE CAN STAY HERE AND GET THE[BLEEP] KICKED OUT OF US OR

WE CAN FIGHT OUR WAY BACK.

WE'RE NOT HERE TO SNIFF BUTT,WE'RE HERE TO KICK BUTT, DO

YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

WE'RE A FOOTBALL TEAM GODDAMMIT.

HUDDLE UP, LET'S GO.

HUDDLE UP.

LET'S GO, GET IN HERE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THISTHING.

COME ON!

>> Stephen: (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: LOVELY PEOPLE,THANK YOU SO MUCH, VERY NICE,

WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

FOLKS, YOU KNOW, ASIMPORTANTS AS FOOTBALL IS

THERE ARE OTHER STORIESOUT THERE.

FOR INSTANCE THE LEADER OFTHE FREE WORLD SPEAKING TO

CONGRESS.

LAST NIGHT I WAS RIVETED TOTHE STATE OF THE UNION IN

THAT I HAD SURGEONS RIVET MYEYELIDS OPEN TO MAKE ME

WATCH IT. NOW FOLKS, I GOT TOSAY, I AM GLAD I DID BECAUSE

THIS WAS OBAMA'S FIFTH TIMEBEFORE A JOINT SESSION OF

CONGRESS.

TRADITIONALLY THE MOSTIMPORTANT ADDRESS OF ANY

PRESIDENCY, I MEAN WHO AMONGUS CAN FORGET THESE IMMORTAL

WORDS FROM GEORGE W. BUSH'SFIFTH STATE OF THE UNION.

>> HUMAN ANIMAL HYBRIDS.

>> Stephen: THAT WAS A BIGPROBLEM BACK THEN.

THAT WAS A BIG PROBLEM BACKTHEN, WE FORGET HOW BIG OF A

PROBLEM THAT WAS BACK THEN.

IF PRESIDENT BUSH HADN'TWARNED US ABOUT IT, RIGHT

NOW YOUR COWORKER WOULD BE ALABRA-DUDE.

AND YOUR SON WOULD BEPLAYING SOCCER AGAINST PUMA

BOY.

WHO IS REALLY VERY GOOD.

VERY FAST PLAYER WELL, FOLKS.

HIS FIFTH STATE OF THE UNIONHAD A STRONG CENTRAL THEME.

>> LET'S MAKE THIS THE YEAROF ACTION.

>> Stephen: AND WHAT BETTERWAY TO START A YEAR OF

ACTION THAN WITH AN HOUR OFTALKING.

(LAUGHTER)AND OH DID HE TALK ABOUT

THINGS LIKE THIS,.

>> Stephen: TODAY WOMEN MAKEUP ABOUT HALF OUR WORKFORCE.

BUT THEY STILL MAKE 77 CENTSFOR EVERY DOLLAR A MAN EARNS

THAT IS WRONG.

AND IN 2014 IT'S ANEMBARRASSMENT.

IT IS TIME TO DO AWAY WITHWORKPLACE POLICIES THAT

BELONG IN A MADMEN EPISODE.

>> Stephen: WORKPLACE POLICYAS THAT BELONG IN A MADMEN

EPISODE.

I'M SORRY I KNOW YOU ARE JUSTSAYING THAT TO DISTRACT FROM

YOUR DOMESTIC SPYING PROGRAMTHAT BELONGS IN A HOMELAND

EPISODE.

NOW SPEAKING OF DISTRACTIONSJOE BIDEN NOW TAKE A LOOK, I

WANT TO YOU TAKE A LOOK, ALITTLE BIT OF FOOTAGE HERE.

WE FOUND SOME FOOTAGE.

AND I WANT TO SEE IF YOU CANSPOT THE EXACT MOMENT WHEN

THE VICE PRESIDENT STRIPPEDTHE EVENT OF ALL DIGNITY.

(LAUGHTER)NOW WHO IS HE POINTING AT?

WELL, BELTWAY GOSSIP SAYS THATHE WAS POINTING TO A DUDE HE

MET AT AN AIRPORT CHILISTHE NIGHT BEFORE.

SEE, I TOLD YOU I WAS VICEPRESIDENT.

(LAUGHTER)ANYWAY, OBAMA SAID OTHER

STUFF TOO.

BUT THE REAL HIGHLIGHT OFEVERY STATE OF THE UNION IS

THE REPUBLICAN RESPONSE.

AND LAST NIGHT WAS SOHISTORICAL WITH THE

REPUBLICANS BROUGHT THEIR AGAME AS IN A LOT OF PEOPLE

TALKING.

YOU HAD YOUR MIKE LEE FORTHE TEA PARTIERS.

RAND PAUL FOR THE OTHER TEAPARTIERS.

AND CUBAN AMERICANCONGRESSWOMAN ILIAN-- ILEANA

ROS-LEHTINEN FOR LOSS PARTYGRANDE DEL TEA.

NO MATTER WHAT KIND OFREPUBLICAN YOU ARE THERE WAS

A SPEECH FOR YOU, LIKE YOUROWN PERSONAL SLEEP NUMBER

BUT FOR RAGE.

AND THAT IS NOT EVENINCLUDING THE OFFICIAL

RESPONSE FROM HOUSEREPUBLICAN CONFERENCE CHAIR

AND STAY AT HOMECONGRESSWOMAN KATHY McMORRIS

ROGERS.

THE BIG QUESTION IS, HOWWOULD SHE RANK ON A SCALE OF

RUBBIO TO 10.

JIM?

>> YOU KNOW, FIRSTOFF, IT'SA MAJOR PROBLEM THAT SHE

DIDN'T PROVIDE CONTENT FOR AWEEK'S WORTH OF THE LATE

NIGHT.

>> SHE DIDN'T DO ANY HARM.

>> I DON'T THINK ANYONE DIDANY HARM.

I DON'T THINK THEY DIDANYONE ANY GOOD.

THERE IS NO NURSERY RHYME,THE COW KILLED NELLY IN THE

BELLY IN THE BARN, DIDN'T DOHER ANY GOOD, DIDN'T DO HER

ANY HARM.

>> Stephen: WELL SAID,GEORGE, WELL SAID, THE WHOLE

EVENING WAS A COMPLETE WASTEOF TIME.

BY THE WAY A COW KICKEDNELLY IN THE BELLY IS ALSO

THE REPUBLICAN'S PLAN FORCONTRACEPTION.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, MY GUEST TONIGHT

IS ESPN ANALYST AND HALL OFFAME WIDE RECEIVER, GOOD

LUCK CATCHING MY SOFTBALLQUESTIONS.

PLEASE WELCOME CRIS CARTER.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)CHRIS, THANKS SO MUCH FOR

COMING ON.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW THEN, CHRIS, ALL RIGHT,FOR THE FEW PEOPLE OUT THERE

WHO MAY NOT KNOW YOURIMPRESSIVE CV, LET'S GET A

FEW THINGS OUT RIGHT OFF THETOP.

LET'S DO MATH.

HALL OF FAME WIDE RECEIVER,EIGHT TIME PRO BOWLER, EIGHT

STRAIGHT THOUSAND YARDSEASONS, 4200 YARD RECEIVING

GAMES, ESPN HAS CALLED YOUONE OF THE MOST PROLIFIC

PASS RECEIVERS IN NFLHISTORY.

YOU'VE ALSO GOT A BOOK IT'SCALLED GOING DEEP WHICH I

THOUGHT WAS THE NAME OF THATBOOK ABOUT THE WOMAN WHO

SMEARED PETRAEUS ANDGOT HIM IN TROUBLE.

OKAY.

THAT'S A PRETTY RING YOU'VEGOT THERE, A PRETTY RING.

SUPER BOWL RING.

>> IT'S NOT A SUPER BOWLRING.

>> IT'S A HALL OF FAME RING.

>> Stephen: A HALL OF FAMERING.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: WOW.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: DOES THIS MEAN,

DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE THENEXT GREEN LANTERN?

>> NO, BUT IT DOES MEAN I'MSOMETHING.

>> Stephen: WOW, THAT ISAMAZING.

SO YOU'RE ONE OF THE GREATWIDE RECEIVERS OF ALL TIME.

WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO MAKE AGREAT WIDE RECEIVER.

WHAT IS THE SKILL SET.

>> WELL, THE NUMBER ONESKILL YOU HAVE TO HAVE, I

WOULD PREFER IS TO HAVE A LARGE SET

OF HANDS.

BECAUSE-- .

>> Stephen: LARGE HANDS, HOWBIG ARE THE-- CAN WE?

WOW, WOW, YOU ALMOST HAVE ASPARE HAND THERE FOR ME.

>> YEAH.

AND I REALLY LIKE A LARGETHUMB TOO, THAT'S FLEXIBLE

BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND THATOPPOSABLE THUMBS COME IN

HANDY FOR ME TOO.

OH MY GOD.

I TRY TO DO WITHOUT ONE FORA WHILE.

I COULDN'T EVEN TIE MY SHOELACES.

>> BUT CHECKING THE FOOTBALLIS IMPORTANT.

FIRST THING I WOULD HAVE TOHAVE IS A GREAT SET OF

HANDS.

>> Stephen: OKAY, NOW WALKME THROUGH, WALK ME THROUGH,

I GOT A BALL OUT HERE.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: WALK ME THROUGHWHAT HAPPENS.

THE BALL, HERE COMES THEFOOTBALL.

YOU GET IT>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: YOU'VE RECEIVEDIT.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

WIDELY, ALL RIGHT.

WHAT HAPPENS NOW, BECAUSE ASSOON AS YOU HAVE THAT BALL,

THE BIGGEST MEN ON THEPLANET WANT TO MAKE YOUR

ORGANS COLLAPSE.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: SO WHAT HAPPENSNOW WHAT IS GOING THROUGH

YOUR MIND, YOU'VE GOT THEBALL.

>> THE FIRST THING I DO ISMAKE SURE I SECURE IT AND

GET A FINGER ON THE POINT OFIT AND TRY TO GET THIS POINT

UNDER MY-- WELL PART OF YOURARM IS CALLED A BICEP.

>> Stephen: I HAVE HEARDABOUT THOSE.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: I HAVE HEARDABOUT THOSE.

>> SO YOU TRY TO CHUCK IT UPUNDER THERE TO SECURE IT AND

PUT AS CLOSE TO YOUR CHIN ASPOSSIBLE.

>> Stephen: OKAY, BECAUSE AGUY IS GOING TO TRY TO GET

AWAY FROM YOU IF THEY TACKLEYOU.

>> WELL, MY GAME WAS TOSCRATCH IT AND IF I COULD

TRY TO MAKE THE FIRST GUYMISS, THEN IF NOT, I KNEW A

WHOLE BUNCH OF GUYS WERECOMING TO THE SCENE.

SO I SAT DOWN ON THEGROUND.

ALMOST LIKE IN A POLICEARREST, YOU KNOW -- OFFICER-- .

>> Stephen: OFFICER, I AMNOT RESISTING YOU.

>> WELL, SOMETIMES AS AMINORITY YOU JUST GET ON THE

GROUND.

YOU JUST GET ON DOWN ANDTHEN LET THEM CONDUCT THEIR

BUSINESS.

(APPLAUSE)>> SO IN THE NFL YOU DO THE

SAME THING.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE LYING ONTHE GROUND.

YOU'RE SAYING WHY CAN'T WEALL JUST GET ALONG.

>> JUST TOUCH ME DOWN, LETME PLAY ANOTHER DOWN.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WHATHAPPENS IN THOSE PILES.

UGLY STUFF?

>> WELL, HMMMM.

DON'T LAY ON THE GROUND ALONG TIME,.

>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU GETA WEDGEY OR PURPLE NURPLE OR

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> THAT WOULD BE ONE OF THENICER THINGS THAT COULD

HAPPEN TO YOU.

JUST DON'T STAY DOWN A LONGTIME.

THAT IS WHY YOU SEE GUYSWHEN THEY GET HIT REAL HARD

THEY POP RIGHT UP.

OH, THAT DIDN'T HURT, THATMEANS IT REALLY HURT.

>> Stephen: THE FASTER THEYGET UP, THE CLOSER

THEY ARE TO COLLAPSING.

>> AND YOU DON'T WANT TO BEIN A BIG PILEUP WITH THE BIG

GUYS AND SWEATING ON YOU ANDEVERYTHING.

THEIR HYGIENE IS NOT ASGOOD AS SMALLER RECEIVER,

QUARTERBACK TYPES LIKE US.

>> Stephen: EXACTLY.

DO YOU SEE MY TOOL SET OUTTHERE THAT I WAS EXERCISING

THERE, ON THE FIELD THERE.

>> I WAS A LITTLE MADTHOUGH.

>> Stephen: .

>> WHY DIDN'T YOU HAVE MEWITH ISAAC BRUCE, HE HAS

BEEN TO FOUR PRO BOWLS, I'VEBEEN TO EIGHT.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOURMATH.

>> Stephen: I HAVE YOUHERE.

>> ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

>> Stephen: HERE WE GO.

>> HMMMM, NOW SEE, JUST LIKETHAT WITH NO PRACTICE YOU

AND I CONNECTING.

YOU WENT THROUGH ALL THOSEOUTTAKES, ISAAC DIDN'T CATCH

NONE.

>> Stephen: LET ME ASK YOUTHIS, WHAT KIND OF

CONNECTION NEED THERE BEBETWEEN A RECEIVER AND A

QUARTERBACK?

HOW MUCH OF IT IS THEQUARTERBACK BE HOW MUCH IS

THE RECEIVER OR IS IT SORTOF SYMBIOTIC.

>> IT IS SYMBIOTIC.

I HAVE TO BE ABLE TO FINISHYOUR SENTENCE IF WE'RE GOING

TO BE REAL GOOD.

>> Stephen: SO IT IS LIKE ABASSIST AND A DRUM NEVER A

BAND, THEY HAVE TO BEREADING EACH OTHER'S MINDS

EXCEPT WITH A HIGHER CHANCEOF CONCUSSION.

>> I PREFER TO USE ANOTHERANALOGY, MORE LIKE THE

SINGER AND SOME TYPE OFMUSIC BEHIND IT BECAUSE THEY

PLAY A BIGGER ROLE THAN JUSTPEOPLE PLAYING THE MUSIC.

>> Stephen: SO WHO IS THESINGER IN THIS.

>> THE QUARTERBACK.

>> Stephen: IS THE SINGER.

>> YEAH, THE QUARTERBACK-- .

>> Stephen: WHO ARE YOU.

>> I'M A WIDE RECEIVER, IT'SALL ABOUT ME.

>> Stephen: IN THE BAND, INTHE BAND WHO ARE YOU.

>> IN THE BAND I PLAYEVERYTHING.

I'M A WIDE RECEIVER.

THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN'T DO.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT?

>> OH, READ THE BOOK, MAN,YOU GOT TO READ THE BOOK.

YOU GOT TO READ IT.

YOU GOT TO READ THIS BOOK.

>> Stephen: I WILL, I WILL.

(APPLAUSE)SO WHO DO YOU LIKE THIS

WEEKEND?

>> IT'S HARD TO GET AGAINSTPAYTON MANNING BUT IN THESE

TYPES OF MATCHUP WHERE YOUHAVE THE BEST OFFENSE

AGAINST THE BEST DEFENSE,IT'S HAPPENED FOUR TIMES

PREVIOUSLY, THE DEFENSE HASWON THOSE MATCHUPS THREE OR

FOUR.

SO IT'S HARD TO GO AGAINSTTHOSE NUMBERS.

I LIKE SEATTLE.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: HALL OF FAME, DO

YOU PUT THE HALL OF FAMEBEHIND THAT DO YOU WANT TO

BET SOMETHING.

>> I PUT THE HALL OF FAMEBEHIND EVERYTHING I CAN DO,

AND YOU CHARGE MORE WHEN YOUDO THAT, SO EVEN THOUGH

YOU'RE LOSING, YOU'REWINNING.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

THERE'S-- THERE'S A HALL OFFAME SURTAX ON EVERYTHING

YOU DO.

LISTEN, I WOULD CHARGE -->> I WAS NEVER ON THIS SHOW

BEFORE.

I'M IN THE HALL OF FAME,NOW I'M HERE.

>> Stephen: WELL, PLEASECOME BACK.

>> THANK YOU.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: FOOTBALL HALL OF

FAMER, CRIS CARTER.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.