Hurricane Wanda

  • Season 1, Ep 7
  • 03/05/2014

With Hurricane Wanda raging outside their window, the girls are forced to weather the storm with Bevers and his equally inappropriate sister.

In case we all die,there is something

that I mustconfess to you, Ilana.

Um...

Last summer, um, I switched ourlaptop chargers in the night--

during the night,like a sneaky thief.

And that's whyyours never works.

And I see you try andyou try and you try

and it'sbecause it's mine.

Oh.It's never gonnawork, Ilana.

I'm so sorry.

It's not abig deal at all.

Really?

My God.

You areforgiveness.

You are.

Wow-- Whew.

Thank youeverybody.

Namaste--Gracias.

Okay--I'll continue the game.

Um...

Never have I ever...read a newspaper.

Really?

Even homeless peopleread newspapers.

(Abbi)Um, I'llguess I'll go.

Never have I ever...

never haveI ever, um,

dealt with how my parents'divorce affected my overall,

you know, being inrelationships.

So.

Hey.

Yeah... I mean,it's an intense subject.

Can I get a biteof that P-sal?

No, I'm stillworking on it.

There's a lot of--(screaming)

Bevers, calm down.

There's candlessomewhere.

My goodness.

(Ilana)Relax-- Breathe.

(Jaime)Calm down, Bevers.

♪ Boonce boonceboonce boonce ♪

♪ HelicopterBoonce boonce boonce boonce ♪

(Ilana)What?

(knocking)(Ilana)Let me in.

It's just me.

Okay.

So it's bad.

I'm sorry thisis happening to you.

On the one night that Jeremycomes over to my apartment,

I explode.

Like, I mean,this is the worst.

This is the best.

This is a sexysituation.

It's terrifyingoutside.

There's candlesall lit.

And who'syour competition?

Marla Bevers?

Abbi, I'm going to takecare of this for you.

There's no way--

I am adoo doo ninja.

What does thateven mean?

You-- You do...

Do you grantme permission

to use any means necessaryto make this go away?

Sure, fine.

Look me in the eyes andtell me I have your permission.

You have mypermission.

Any means necessary?Any means necessary.

Great.

Awesome...

Now get out there,bounce some little titties

for that hunky, quarter-Latinoand whatever else he is.

I dunno.Okay-- Thank you.

Hey.

Gimme.

Oh my God,thank you.

Okay.

(gasping)

Oh Lord.

(exhales deeply)

Hold up.

Oh.

Yeah!

you doing?

You are wastingedge of death time.

Make a move.What do you whatme to do?

My talent can't beto like, wash his body.

You mean like, wash hisbody after sex, right?

I want to make sure you'reoptimizing your fantasies.All right, it'sthe first thing I thought of.

I knowwhat we will do.

I know what wewill do.

You say, "Let'splay Truth or Dare."

You pick me, I say, "Dare"and then--

Got it, got it,got it, got it.

Say no more.

Okay, cool.

10, yes!(Matt)Whoo!

Champion!(Jeremy coughing)

Don't feel bad.

I'm on speed.

Yeah.

Okay, you guys.

Truth or Dare.

No, come on.

We have to finishthe talent show.

No, we don't.

Um, hmm... Who should I--who wants to-- Abbi.

Truth or dare?

Truth or dare?

Truth or dare?

You know what,I'm gonna go with dare.

Okay.

I dare you tosuck Jeremy's (bleep).

(thunder rubmling)

Um, that's a wrapon Truth or Dare.

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