Going Viral

  • Season 6, Ep 6
  • 02/18/2016

When a social media expert comes to the office, the guys compete to hone their personal brands.

- You did great.- You were good.

- Honestly, really good stuff.- I was good.

Thank you.And so was I, though, you can--

- It goes around.It goes around.

- All right, Tres Delinquentes.

What does that say right there?

- Two views.- Yeah.

It says people are notengaging with your brands.

You've gotto focus more on curating

your individual personas.

I mean, Blake, you'rea super-chill millennial teen,

so don't go around telling methat you've got anxiety.

Now go bust out some super-chillrando vids on Snapchat

with this rad land paddleboard.

- Oh, all right. Yeah.

I like that. That's cool.- Yeah.

- So we're selling these now?

- He is.You're selling 9/11 memorabilia

because you are a matureall-American conservative.

You are human khakis.

- Yeah, I mean, 9/11.Love it, but Ty Dolla $ign...

- Forget about Ty Dolla $ign.Never forget about 9/11.

- Sure, yeah.

- So now go jump on LinkedIn.

Link out with your dink out.

- Sick.- Okay, now do me. Do me.

- Have you ever heard of a mannamed Dan Bilzerian?

- Dan Bilzerian?From Instagram?

He's like--he's like--isn't he--

he's like my hero.

I freakin' carry a photoof him in my pocket.

He's just scratching his beard."What am I thinking of?"

I'll tell youwhat he's thinking of:

pussy, money, respect.

Yeah.

And I got all those things.

Except for I don't.I'm lying to you.

I'm-I'm actually pretty lonely.

- This is The Sleeve Cleaver.- [gasps]

- It'll take any shirt

and turn it into a tank topin less than a second.

- Okay, I'm notjust gonna sell this.

I'm gonna devotemy life to it.

Okay?- I love it. Careful.

They will cut your fingers off.- Okay.

- Oh, yeah. Mmm.

Good year.Good year.

And then I'm just gonnapulse it, pulse it, pulse it.

Bam, done. Okay.

Who wantsa Strawberry Latte Bull?

- What is that?

- Well, it's our three favoritemorning beverages.

I'm talking strawberry Quik,decaf coffee, and Red Bull.

Adam?- Okay. Please.

No, not whileI'm handling firearms,

which are whatI'm calling my arms now

'cause my muscles are on firefrom all this sling-shooting.

- Whatever.Ders, first up.

- Okay.- There you go, buddy.

Nice and frothy. Mmm.- Mmm.

- Mmm.- Mm-mm.

- Mm-mm? What?

- Not good at all.- Not good?

- That's surprising.- That's--yeah.

- But I'm gonnachoke this one down

because it is symbolicof our friendship.

- And that's whyyou are the quarterback

of our friendship.- Okay.

- So this iswhat the world's coming to.

- Oh, my gosh, this iswhat the world's coming to.

- That's whatthe world's coming to.

- Mm-hmm.

- News boobies.- Yeah.

- I couldn't [bleep] to thatif I tried.

- Mm.- And I have, actually.

I used to jerk off toa Sears catalog all the time.

Or was it JCPenney's?

Could have been Cabela's,but the chicks were super hot.

Similar--similar vibes.- Mm. Cabela babe.

[bird screeches]- Oh, sh--

- What'd you do?- Ah, I just shot it!

Oh, direct hit!- What? No, no, no.

- Hit it right in the face,right in the beak.

- Oh, God, we got to save it.We got to save her.

- Yeah, no, it's gargling.- No, we have to save her.

- It's gargling.- Dude, Blake. Hey, whoa, whoa.

Stop, man, it's too late.- It's never too late.

- Here, you know what?

Just lookat these news boobies.

- Oh, yeah.Those are nice.