Krolling Around with Nick Clown

  • 02/11/2014

The kids in Gene Creemers's "Get Out!" PSA give updates on their lives, Ref Jeff gets a job working for the TSA, and contestants compete for startup cash on "Signing Bonus."

FOR HIS NEW INVENTION.

- IT'S GOOD, Y'ALL.LIKE, GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS.

YO, YO, BUT LET ME, LIKE,ASK YOU THIS, THOUGH.

LIKE, WHAT KEEPS YOUFROM GETTING WET IN THE RAIN

WHEN IT'S, LIKE, WET?

- UMBRELLA.- AN UMBRELLA.

- RIGHT, I [bleep] WITH THAT,BUT, LIKE,

WHAT KEEPS THE UMBRELLAFROM GETTING WET?

BOOM, YOU SEE THAT?THAT'S THE TOP UMBRELLA,

AND IT--IT KEEPTHE BOTTOM UMBRELLA NICE AND DRY

SO YOU'RE, LIKE, NOT WETWITH THE--YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

- THE SECOND UMBRELLAIS GONNA BE WET.

- RIGHT.

- WHY DO YOU NEED TO KEEPTHE UNDER UMBRELLA DRY?

- HONESTLY, LIKE, IMAGINEYOU'RE WITH A BITCH, RIGHT?

SHE GOT THE MOTHER[bleep] CLAPAND ALL THAT.

MY [bleep] STEVE CAUGHT THAT,

BUT LIKE, HAD HE HADTWO CONDOMS,

THE FIRST ONE WOULDA BROKE,

SECOND ONE,HE WOULDA BEEN ALL GOOD.

- OKAY, SO THIS ISA CUMBERSOME PHYSICAL METAPHOR

FOR SEXUAL MISFORTUNE?

- LIKE, HONESTLY, LIKE,THAT'S HOW I FEEL.

- I AM PREPARED TO INVESTTHE FULL 5 MILLION.

- THAT'S WHAT'S UP, MAN.

narrator: NEXT UP IS JEFF,A DISGRACED NBA REFEREE.

- OKAY.

YOU GUYS HAVING FUN TODAY?

- YEAH.- LOT OF GOOD PITCHES.

- YES, YES.- YEAH.

- YOU GUYS LOCK IN PLANSFOR AFTERWARDS, OR...

OOF.

- UH, I'M SORRY?

- DID YOU GUYSLOCK IN PLANS FOR--

YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU'RE DONESHOOTING, OR--

- I'M PROBABLYJUST GONNA GO HOME.

- THIS IS NOT NERVES.

I'M COMPLETELY COMFORTABLEIN THIS SITUATION.

- IT APPEARSEXACTLY LIKE NERVES.

- YEAH.

A LOT OF PRO ATHLETESGET OUT THERE,

THEY'RE BIG BROTHERS,BIG SISTERS,

STUFF LIKE THAT, OKAY,

BUT THERE'S NO MONEY IN THAT,RIGHT?

SO HERE'S THE PITCH.

IT'S LIKE A--SO HERE'S THE PITCH.

IT'S CALLED "HANG TIME,"OKAY?

YOU GUYS, PROFESSIONAL ATHLETESGO AND HANG OUT,

NOT WITH KIDS,BUT WITH COOL ADULTS.

- UH, I'M A HARD "NO."

- DANTE?

- NO WAY IN HELL, OR HELL NO.TAKE IT EITHER WAY YOU WANT IT.

- ALL RIGHT, I'LL CHOOSETHAT ONE ON MY--ON MY OWN TIME.

- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.- MATTEUS?

- YOU SEEM TERRIBLEAND YOUR BODY CONFUSES ME.

- ALL RIGHT.

NO.

- LIFE IS ALL ABOUTMAKING CHOICES,

AND I HAD CHOSEN TO ATTENDUPPER PENINSULA STATE,

BUT I WAS STARTING TO WONDER,WOULD ANYBODY CHOOSE ME?

- HEY, MADISON.- OH, HEY, ELLIOT.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?- YOU REALLY LIKE FRUIT, HUH?

- OH, YEAH, I GUESS I JUSTTAKE 'EM BACK TO MY ROOM

FOR IN-BETWEEN MEAL SNACKS.

THAT WAY, I NEVERHAVE TO PAY FOR FOOD.

- WOW, THAT'S REALLY SMART.

- YEAH, I'M ON THE FLEX-450SEMESTER MEAL PLAN,

SO AS LONG AS I DON'T GOOVER 17 MEALS A WEEK,

I AM GOLDEN.

- WHAT UP?MIND IF I CUT?

I'M JUST GETTING CHIPSUSING ALL POINTS.

THE MEAL PLAN'SKIND OF FOR SUCKERS.

DID YOU KNOWTHE PENINSULA PIT'S

TAKING POINTSAT ALL THOSE RESTAURANTS NOW?

- REALLY?- I DON'T KNOW,

WOULD YOU MAYBE WANT TO GOCHECK IT OUT SOME FRIDAY NIGHT?

- WHAT--WHAT TIME?

- THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF POINTS,WHENEVER WE WANT.

- OKAY.

- WELL,I'LL SEE YOU THEN, RED.

- YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING.

- I'LL SEE YOU LATER,MADISON.

- ♪ TODAY I AM THANKFUL

♪ I PRAY TO BE THANKFUL'CAUSE OF YOU ♪

- ♪ THANKFUL FOR EACH DAY

- ♪ GOD, 'CAUSE OF YOU ♪

- AND SO I STARTEDSPENDING POINTS,

HOPING TO RUN INTO THE GUYWHO TOLD ME ABOUT THEM

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

LOGAN, IT'S SO FUNNYSEEING YOU HERE.

SO THIS HAMBURGERIS 300 POINTS.

HOW MUCH IS THAT IN DOLLARS?

- $3.

- WELL, HOW MUCHDO THESE FRIES COST?

- 175 POINTS, RED.

- HOW MUCH IS THATIN DOLLARS?

-$1.75.

- HOW DO YOU KEEP IT ALLSTRAIGHT?

- MAYBE IT'D BE EASIERIF I SHOWED YOU.

LET'S SAY THESE FRIESWERE 111 POINTS.

YOU JUST HAVE TO MOVETHE DECIMAL POINT.

YOU GET IT NOW?

- ♪ I COULD NEVERWALK ON WATER ♪

♪ THE WAY YOU DIDAS THE BIBLE SAYS ♪

- THIS IS GREAT, HUH?

- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DOIS THROW A PARTY.

WE COULD GO TO THE DEER DELI,MAYBE PICK UP SOME NACHO CHIPS,

COLA, COUPLE MAGAZINES.

YOU CAN BUY ALL THATWITH POINTS.

♪ MM-HMM

- HELLO, EUROPEAN PERSON.

ARE YOU GOING TO THE STATESFOR A HOLIDAY?

WELL, THERE'S A LOTOF RUBBISH THERE.

LET ME TELL YOU THE COOLESTTHINGS AND PLACES TO BE.

[techno music]

DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA IS COOLFOR A CLASS TRIP,

TO BUY A BASEBALL HAT,A BASEBALL PANT.

THEY ONLY HAVE TWO DAYSFOR THE WEEKEND,

WHICH IS COOL, 'CAUSEYOU PACK IN LOTS OF FUN STUFF

LIKE BEACH VOLLEYBALLAND HAMBURGERS.

U.S. HAS, LIKE,TOTALLY DEFINED SEXUALITIES,

AND YOU CAN TELLWHICH IS MAN AND WHICH IS WOMAN.

LITTLE WAYNE IS A LITTLE MANWITH A BIG VOICE.

HE IS THE KING OF NEW ORLEANS.

ROYALTY IN THE U.S. IS PEOPLELIKE HULK HOGAN,

HIS DAUGHTER BROOK HOGAN,BEN AFFLECK,

A CAT WHO CAN PLAY PIANO.

BY LAW, THE ONLY RENTAL CARYOU CAN GET IS A PT CRUISER.

JESUS IS, LIKE,THE COOLEST PERSON IN THE U.S.

LIKE, HOW FRANKENSTEINIS THE COOLEST PERSON IN EUROPE.

THE COOLEST MUSEUMS ARETHE M&M STORE IN TIMES SQUARE.

[techno music]

[upbeat synthesizer music]

- PARDON.

DO YOU HAVE SEASONALDEPRESSION THERE?

OH, DON'T CHANGE THE CHANNEL.

YOU GET OUT.

HEY THERE, CANADIAN YOUNGSTERS.I'M GENE CREEMERS,

AND I'M HERE TO GENTLY PRODCANADA'S YOUTH TO...

all: GET OUT!

- [whispering] GET OUT.- PARDON?

- GET "OOT"!

- GREAT WAGONWHEELS, LADIES.

- WHAT "ABOOT" SAFETY?

- [blows whistle]SAFETY FIRST, EH?

all: SAFETY RULES!

- REMEMBER,TIE THOSE TRAINERS.

- DOUBLE KNOT.

- IS THIS EXERCISE?

- YEAH.

- WHAT IF I NEED ENERGY?

- WELL, TRY SOME G.O.R.P.- WHAT'S G.O.R.P.?

IT'S A CEREAL THAT YOU EATWITH YOUR HANDS.

REMEMBER, KIDS, JUST1/4 OF AN HOUR A DAY, THAT'S IT.

DON'T QUIT,AND REMEMBER...

all: GET OUT!- OKAY.

[dramatic music]

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