September 22, 2015 - Gay Army Secretary & Women in Combat

  • 09/22/2015

A rat hauls a slice of pizza through the New York City subway, and Larry discusses women in combat with Elana Duffy, Egypt Sherrod, Sal Vulcano and Benari Poulten.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: YEAH!

OH, MY GOSH.

WELCOME TO "THE NIGHTLY SHOW."

I'M LARRY WILMORE.

MAN, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW.

[ AUDIENCE CHANTING "LARRY" ]I APPRECIATE IT.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I ALWAYS APPRECIATE THE "LARRY,LARRY, LARRY, LARRY."

[ LAUGHTER ]WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW TONIGHT,

BUT BEFORE I GET STARTED, IWANTED TO MENTION SOMETHING VERY

QUICKLY.

I'VE BEEN LIVING IN NEW YORKCITY FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW.

GREAT TOWN.

A LITTLE STINKY DURING THESUMMER BUT OVERALL GREAT TOWN.

[ LAUGHTER ]BUT YESTERDAY, I SAW WHAT CAN

ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS THE MOSTNEW YORK MOMENT IN THE HISTORY

OF NEW YORK.

CHECK THIS OUT.

OKAY.

THIS IS A RAT --[ LAUGHTER ]

DID YOU SEE THAT?

THIS IS A RAT PULLING AN ENTIRESLICE OF NEW YORK PIZZA DOWN THE

STEPS -- LOOK AT THAT, MAN!

LOOK AT THAT!

[ LAUGHTER ]THE SLICE IS FIVE TIMES THE SIZE

OF THE RAT.

AND HE'S NOT REMOTELY FAZED BYTHE FACT THAT IT'S RUSH HOUR.

HE'S JUST TRYING TO CATCH HISTRAIN.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND WHAT'S SO AMAZING ABOUT THIS

CITY IS THE PEOPLE WALKING BYARE JUST GETTING OUT OF HIS WAY.

THEY'RE LIKE, "WE GET IT.

WE'RE ALL BUSY."

[ LAUGHTER ]TO ME, IT FEELS LIKE THAT RAT

WORKED A LONG DAY DOING RATSTUFF.

JUST RATTIN' AROUND TOWN, ANDTHEN ON HIS WAY HOME, HE STOPPED

AT RAY'S FOR A SLICE --[ LAUGHTER ]

RIGHT?

[ LAUGHTER ][ APPLAUSE ]

YEAH, "I'LL TAKE LARGE SLICE TOGO.

NO NEED TO HEAT IT UP.

I GOT A TRAIN TO CATCH."

[ LAUGHTER ]ONE TECHNICAL THING, THOUGH.

I DON'T WANT TO BE NIT-PICKY,BUT CAN YOU TELL HE WASN'T A

REAL NEW YORK CITY RAT BECAUSEHE DIDN'T FOLD THE SLICE.

[ APPLAUSE ][ LAUGHTER ]

PROBABLY A TOURIST RAT.

I JUST DIDN'T WANT TO DISRESPECTA REAL NEW YORK RAT.

IS ALL I'M SAYING.

[ LAUGHTER ]SADLY, MOVING ON TO OUR NON-RAT

TOP STORY TONIGHT, THE MILITARYMAY SOON BE CELEBRATING A FIRST

THAT'S ALMOST AS EXCITING FORGAY AMERICANS AS THIS WEEK'S

ROLLOUT OF RAINBOW DORITOS INSUPPORT OF LGBT CAUSES.

>> THE U.S. ARMY IS POISED TOHAVE ITS FIRST OPENLY GAY

CIVILIAN LEADER.

PRESIDENT OBAMA HAS NOMINATEDLONGTIME PENTAGON OFFICIAL ERIC

FANNING TO BE THE NEXT ARMYSECRETARY.

FANNING, WHO FACES SENATECONFIRMATION, WOULD BE THE

NATION'S FIRST OPENLY GAY LEADEROF ANY MILITARY BRANCH.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: WOW.

WOW.

THIS IS AN HISTORIC MOMENT!

THIS WAS AN ARMY GUY WHO STARTEDHIS CAREER IN THE NAVY, AND SAY

WHAT YOU WANT ABOUT THE VILLAGEPEOPLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]THEY PREDICTED THIS 35 YEARS AGO

WITH THEIR PRESCIENT HIT "IN THENAVY," AND THEY ALSO CAME CLOSE

TO PREDICTING GAY DORITOS WITHTHEIR LESSER-KNOWN "B" SIDE

"NACHO, NACHO MAN."

[ LAUGHTER ]I DEFENSE KNOW -- I DON'T KNOW

IF YOU REMEMBER THAT.

LESSER KNOWN.

[ LAUGHTER ]NO, THIS IS REALLY GREAT NEWS,

THOUGH.

BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TODRAG

ERIC FANNING THROUGH THE DIRTLIKE A SLICE OF PIZZA ON THE

BACK OF A RAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]SERIOUSLY, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT

RAT?

I'M SO EXCITED.

[ LAUGHTER ]LOOK HOW BIG THAT SLICE IS!

SORRY.

WHO'S DRAGGING FANNING THROUGHTHE DIRT?

>> MIKE HUCKABEE SLAMMING ERICFANNING'S NOMINATION.

IN A STATEMENT SAYING THIS, THEPRESIDENT IS, QUOTE, MORE

INTERESTED IN APPEASINGAMERICA'S HOMOSEXUALS THAN

HONORING AMERICA'S HEROES.

[ AUDIENCE BOOs ]>> Larry: MIKE HUCKABEE, YOU

KNOW THATHOMOSEXUAL AND HERO AREN'T

MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE TERMS, RIGHT?

[ LAUGHTER ][ APPLAUSE ]

LET ME -- JUST WANT TO CLEARTHAT UP.

LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE OFMUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE TERMS.

HUMAN AND HUCKABEE.

SEE, THOSE --[ LAUGHTER ]

THOSE DON'T --[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

OKAY.

HUCKABEE ALSO SAID, QUOTE,HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT A JOB

QUALIFICATION.

OKAY.

IS THIS HATE SPEECH ORRESUME-BUILDING TIP?

I'M CONFUSED.

AS A REMINDER TO YOU MILLENNIALSOUT THERE TRYING TO GET A JOB,

UNDER SPECIAL SKILLS, EXCEL,POWERPOINT, GAY STUFF -- ANY OF

THOSE SHOULD GO.

[ LAUGHTER ]ALL RIGHT.

SO WHAT NONGAY QUALIFICATIONSDOES THIS HOMOSEXUAL NON-HERO

WITH HISGAYING-THE-WHOLE-ARMY-UP AGENDA

HAVE?

>> FANNING IS CURRENTLY THE ARMYUNDERSECRETARY, THE NUMBER TWO

JOB, AND PREVIOUSLY SERVED INLEADERSHIP ROLES IN THE NAVY AND

AIR FORCE.

>> Larry: THE GUY SEEMS PRETTYWELL QUALIFIED.

HE'S LITERALLY NEXT IN LINE.

IT'S NOT LIKE THEY FOUND HIM ONGRINDER.

[ LAUGHTER ]RIGHT?

BUT IT OURNS OUT TO OBAMA'S NOTJUST MAKING THE

MILITARY MORE GAYERHE'S ALSO TRYING TO MAKE IT A

LITTLE LADY-ER.

AND NOT EVERYONE IS HAPPY ABOUTIT.

APPARENTLY THE MARINES AREBATTLING GOVERNMENT LEADERS IN A

FIGHT TO KEEP WOMEN OUT OFCOMBAT ROLES.

THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF A BACKSTORY HERE.

SO LET ME BREAK IT DOWN.

TWO YEARS AGO, OBAMA, AS PART OFONE OF HIS OBAMA-DON'T-CARE

PLANKS. OBAMA DOES NOT GIVE A [BLEEP] AT THIS POINT

[ LAUGHTER ]WOMEN IN THE MILITARY, YOU CAN

GO [ BLEEP ] YOURSELF.

[ LAUGHTER ]HE DECIDED THAT ALL

MILITARY COMBAT POSITIONS WOULDBE OPEN TO WOMEN BY THE YEAR

2016.

AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, NOTEVERYONE IN THE MARINE CORPS IS

PSYCHED ABOUT IT.

APPARENTLY, THEY DON'T LIKETHEIR "OOH-RAHS" TO HAVE ANY

"HOO-HAS."

[ LAUGHTER ]THE MARINE CORPS RECENTLY

COMMISSIONED A $36 MILLION STUDYPITTING ALL-MALE MARINE UNITS

AGAINST COED TEAMS --[ LAUGHTER ]

OH, YOU LIKE THAT "WAR ANDPEACE"?

[ LAUGHTER ][ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

ALL-MALE MARINE UNITS AGAINSTCOED TEAMS IN ORDER TO

TEST WOMEN'S COMBAT READINESS.

HERE'S WHAT THEY FOUND.

>> THE MEN'S TEAMS WERE FASTER,STRONGER, MORE LETHAL THAN THE

COED TEAMS BY A WIDE MARGIN,SCORING HIGHER ON 69% OF ALL

MEASURED TASKS.

>> Larry: HEAD RESEARCHERS WEREREPORTEDLY STUNNED BY THE 69%

DIFFERENCE.

[ LAUGHTER ]BRO' RESEARCHERS, ON THE OTHER

HAND, HIGH-FIVED AND YELLED,"WHOO!

69!"[ LAUGHTER ]

"69!"[ LAUGHTER ]

BUT THE DIFFERENCES DON'T ENDTHERE.

>> MEN ARE FASTER AT COMBATMANEUVERS INCLUDING CLEARING

WALLS AND EVACUATING CASUALTIES.

MEN OUTSHOT WOMEN ON THE M4RIFLE WITH A HIT RATE OF 44% TO

28%.

>> Larry: I HAVE TO SAY, THEDIFFERENCE IN GENDER AIM WAS

MOST SURPRISING TO MEPERSONALLY, BECAUSE WHEN IT

COMES TO URINE, WOMEN'S AIM ISVASTLY SUPERIOR.

[ LAUGHTER ]I'M JUST SAYING.

FROM MY OWN EXPERIENCE.

I'M A LITTLE SHOCKED AT THOSENUMBERS.

I'M A LITTLE SHOCKED.

OKAY?

NATURALLY, THE TEST RESULTS HAVECAUSED LOTS OF MARINES TO BALK

AT LETTING WOMEN INTO THE COMBATRANKS.

THE PROBLEM WITH THIS IS THATTHE MARINE TEST ONLY GIVES US

PART OF THE WHOLE STORY.

SECRETARY OF THE NAVY, RAYMABUS, CALLED THE MARINE CORPS

STUDY FLAWED AND BIASED TOWARDKEEPING WOMEN OUT OF COMBAT

ROLES.

BESIDES THAT, KILLING PEOPLE ANDRUNNING FAST AREN'T THE ONLY

IMPORTANT SKILLS FOR SOLDIERS TOHAVE.

IF THEY WERE, AN ARMY OF OSCARPISTORIUS CLONES WOULD BE THE

MOST DOMINANT SUPERPOWER ONEARTH.

[ AUDIENCE BOOs ]I'M NOT SURE WHAT THAT BOO

ACTUALLY IS.

[ LAUGHTER ]I'M NOT QUITE SURE.

[ LAUGHTER ]AND ALSO, "THE NEW YORK TIMES"

REPORTS THAT A DIFFERENT STUDYOF THE SAME MARINES SHOWED THAT

THE FEMALE MARINES SCORED HIGHERIN MENTAL RESILIENCE AND HAD

FEWER MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS.

THE COED UNITS ALSO OUTPERFORMEDTHE ALL-MALE GROUPS IN MAKING

COMPLEX DECISIONS.

IN OTHER WORDS, WHILE MEN MIGHTBE BETTER AT LIFTING HEAVY

[ BLEEP ] WITH THEIR ARMS, WOMENARE BETTER AT DEALING WITH HEAVY

[ BLEEP ] IN THEIR BRAINS.

ND THAT'S NO EASY TASK WHEN YOU [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

AND THAT'S NO EASY TASK WHEN YOUSEE AND DO THE KINDS OF THINGS

SOLDIERS SEE AND DO IN WARTIME.

I KNOW SOME MEN OUT THERE MIGHTBE HEARING ME SAY THAT WOMEN ARE

SMARTER THAN MEN.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M SAYING.

WHAT I'M SAYING AND WHAT THESTUDIES SHOW IS THAT MEN AND

WOMEN ARE EACH BETTER ATDIFFERENT THINGS.

AND WHEN MEN AND WOMEN PUT THEIRTHINGS TOGETHER, IT'S BETTER FOR

EVERYONE.

THAT LESSON AND OTHERS ARE ALLWRITTEN DOWN IN MY NEW

CHILDREN'S BOOK "MEN AND WOMENPUTTING THEIR THINGS TOGETHER."

[ LAUGHTER ][ APPLAUSE ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]ACTUALLY,

IT'S NOT SELLING THE WAY WEHOPED IT WOULD.

PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE RETHOUGHTTHAT TITLE.

THANKS FOR THE EXTRA CLAP.

I APPRECIATE THAT.

THE AFTER CLAP.

[ LAUGHTER ]THE BOTTOM LINE IS, BEING A

MARINE REQUIRES A PERSONAL LEVELOF PHYSICAL FITNESS.

AND EVEN RAY MABUS, WHO RUNS THEMARINES, BELIEVES THAT.

IF YOU SETGENDER-NEUTRAL STANDARDS RELATED

TO THE JOB MARINES HAVE TO DO,AND YOU ADHERE TO THEM, HE SAID.

IT DOESN'T MATTER WHETHER THEMARINES WHO MEET THOSE STANDARDS

ARE MALE OR FEMALE.

WAR IS A NASTY BUSINESS.

ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO SIGN UP TOPROTECT THIS COUNTRY AND PUT

THEIR LIFE ON THE LINE AND ARECOMPLETELY QUALIFIED, WE SHOULD

BE SAYING THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]RIGHT?

I MEAN, SERIOUSLY.

THEY ARE FIGHTING FOR OURFREEDOMS AND FOR OUR RIGHT TO

WATCH "PIZZA RAT."

[ LAUGHTER ]LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

IT DOESN'T TAKE BALLS TO FIGHT.

IT TAKES COURAGE.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

SHE'S A U.S. ARMY VETERAN ANDPURPLE HEART RECIPIENT WHO

SERVED IN IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN,ELANA DUFFY.

HE'S A U.S. ARMY VETERAN AN[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

ELANA DUFFY.

HE'S A U.S. ARMY VETERAN ANDALSO SERVED IN IRAQ AND

AFGHANISTAN, "THE NIGHTLY SHOW"CONTRIBUTOR BENARI POULTEN.

HER NEW SHOW "FLIPPING VIRGINS"AIRS TUESDAYS ON HGTV, EGYPT

SHERROD.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]AND HIS SHOW "IMPRACTICAL

JOKERS" AIRS THURSDAYS ONtruTV, COMEDIAN SAL VULCANO.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]EARLIER IN THE SHOW, WE

MENTIONED THE MILITARY IS FACINGA DEADLINE TO OPEN UP COMBAT

ROLES TO WOMEN BY 2016.

A STUDY FOUND THAT UNITS WITHBOTH MEN AND WOMEN DID NOT

PERFORM AS WELL AS ALL-MALEUNITS.

ELANA,SHOULD WOMEN BE SERVING AT THE

FRONT LINES?

>> WE ALREADY DO.

IT'S NOT -->> Larry: WHAT IS THE

DISTINCTION BEING MADE?

>> THE DISTINCTION BEING MADE ISJUST THE JOB FUNCTION.

IT'S THE TITLE.

IT'S WHAT YOU'RE CALLING APERSON.

IS THE PERSON AN INFANTRY PERSONOR ARE THEY MILITARY POLICE WHO

ARE ALREADY THERE? ARE THEYINTEL COLLECTORS

SO IT'S JUST A -- IT'S A JOBTITLE AND A STANDARD THAT SHOULD

BE MET.

>> Larry: BUT IS THIS JUST A LOTOF BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, OVER

NOTHING?

>> WELL, I THINK THAT THERE ISSOMEWHAT OF AN OUTDATED

MENTALITY TO AND HOW WE FIGHTWAR.

WE'RE NOT FIGHTING IN THETRENCHES.

IT'S NOT 1944.

YOU DON'T HAVE LIKE, GOT TO SENDA LETTER HOME TO MY BEST GAL!

WHO'S THE PRESIDENT?

HOPE THE DODGERS WON THEPENNANT.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO WE NEED TO UPDATE OUR

THINKING AS WELL, BECAUSE LIKESHE SAID, WOMEN ARE ALREADY

THERE.

I SERVED WITH A LOT OF WOMEN.

>> Larry: WHAT DO WE THINK THERESISTANCE IS?

IS IT THE -- IS IT THE LAYMAN'SMENTALITY?

>> IT SHOULDN'T BE RESISTANCE TOWOMEN.

IT SHOULD BE A RESISTANCEPERHAPS TO AN INDIVIDUAL.

IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MENAND WOMEN.

THERE ARE GOING TO BE WOMEN THATARE MORE QUALIFIED THAN MEN.

AND MEN WHO ARE MORE QUALIFIEDTHAN WOMEN.

I AM NOT QUALIFIED.

[ LAUGHTER ]THE ONLY THING WE HAVE IN COMMON

WITH A WOMAN THAT'S QUALIFIEDFOR THE MILITARY IS LIKE MY

[ BLEEP ].

MAN BREASTS.

>> Larry: QUALIFIED ORUNQUALIFIED?

>> IT'S THE ONLY THING I SHAREIN COMMON.

>> Larry: HOW DOES THIS HIT YOU?

DOES THIS SEEM LIKE WE'RE MAKINGTOO MUCH OF THIS?

>> HONESTLY, IT JUST FEELS LIKEAN AGE-OLD MENTALITY THAT WOMEN

HAVE A PLACE AND SHOULD STAY INIT AND THAT'S TAKING CARE OF THE

KIDS OR COOKING A GOOD MEAL.

WE DON'T HAVE THAT LUXURYANYMORE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WORLD PEOPLEARE LIVING IN WHEN THEY STILL

THINK LIKE THAT.

I MEAN, TRUST ME, IF MY JOB JUSTREQUIRED ME TO BE AT HOME WITH

MY KIDS LOVING ON THEM COOKING AGOOD MEAL, I WOULD BE IN

HEAVEN.

BUT TODAY WE'RE -->> WANT TO KILL THOSE KIDS

SOMETIMES.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> BUT TO BUY THE BACON, BRING

IT HOME, COOK IT, WRAP IT UP,SERVE IT FOR LEFTOVERS, AND IN

ORDER DO THAT, WE HAVE TO BEABLE TO HAVE THE SAME

OPPORTUNITIES AND THE SAME PAYAS MEN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: ARE THERE REAL

PHYSICAL DIFFERENCES OUT THERETHAT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE,

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMENTHAT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE IN

INFANTRY?

>> YEAH.

Larry: TALK ABOUT DRAGGINGTHE BODY OUT.

>> YOU STILL HAVE TO MEET THEPHYSICAL STANDARDS.

I HOPE I'M NOT SHARING NATIONALSECURITY SECRETS HERE BUT I'M

NOT THE TALLEST SOLDIER.

I AM ADORABLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Larry: HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5'4".

TALL ENOUGH.

>> Larry: HOW MUCH DID YOU WEIGHWHEN YOU WERE IN THE -- HOW MUCH

DID YOU WEIGH?

>> 130, 140.

Larry: RIGHT.

SO -- BUT I COULD PROBABLYFIT IN MY RUCK SACK THAT I HAD

TO CARRY -- A RAT CARRIES APIECE OF PIZZA, EVERYBODY'S

LIKE, GO, RAT! I'M CARRYING ASACK TWICE MY SIZE AND

THEY'RE LIKE, GET A MOVE ON,LITTLE MAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> I USED TO TEACH MARKSMANSHIP

AND RIFLE RANGES, RUN GRENADERANGES AND THE ONLY PERSON IN

SEVERAL YEARS OF DOING THIS THATEVER FIRED A PAINT GRENADE,

THANK GOODNESS, INTO A SANDBAGWAS A MALE.

[ LAUGHTER ]SO DON'T TELL ME THAT WE MIGHT

HAVE SOME PROBLEMS.

>> PERHAPS WE SHOULD LOOK INTOPULLING MALES OUT OF THE

MILITARY.

[ LAUGHTER ][ APPLAUSE ]

>> MAYBE WE'RE FOCUSING ON THEWRONG TOPIC.

>> Larry: IS IT OKAY TO SAY THATGENDERS AND DIFFERENT GENDERS

ARE BETTER OR WORSE AT DIFFERENTTHINGS THAN OTHERS?

IS THAT OKAY TO SAY THAT, OR ISTHAT JUST WRONG TO SAY THAT?

>> I THINK THAT'S FINE.

I MEAN, BUT IT ALSO DEPENDS ONTHE -- LIKE, IF I WANT TO BUY A

HOUSE, I'M GOING TO EGYPT.

IF I WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS,I'M GOING TO --

>> I THINK GENERALLY SPEAKING,YES, LIKE GENERALLY SPEAKING, WE

CAN'T DENY MEN ARE STRONGER.

MEN TEND TO IF BE FASTER.

BUT WOMEN, WE ALSO TEND TO BE ALITTLE MORE CUNNING.

WE TEND TO BE A LITTLE MOORESTRATEGIC AND MANIPULATIVE.

AREN'T THOSE ALSO IMPORTANT WHENIT COMES TO COMBAT?

>> Larry: ABSOLUTELY.

THANK YOU.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> NOT ME.

NOT ME.

>> I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY.

>> I HAVE NEVER MET AMANIPULATIVE WOMAN.

[ LAUGHTER ]I DON'T APPRECIATE THAT.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Larry: MM-HMM.

WOULD THIS BE A DIFFERENTCONVERSATION IF WE STILL HAD THE

DRAFT?

>> NO.

Larry: NO?

I DON'T THINK SO.

I REALLY DON'T.

BECAUSE IF WOMEN CAN SERVE ANDMEN CAN GET DRAFTED, SO OF THE

MEN THAT WERE DRAFTED WERE NOTOF THE HIGHEST CALIBER THAT

SHOULD HAVE MAYBE VOLUNTEERED.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> I THINK MAYBE WE WOULDN'T BE

SO QUICK TO GO TO WAR IF WE HADA DRAFT.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]MAYBE WE'D THINK THINGS THROUGH

A LITTLE BIT BETTER.

>> YEAH.

BUT THAT'S THE POINT TOO.

>> Larry: MAYBE THERE WOULD BEMORE WOMEN AT THE TOP OF THE

MILITARY.

INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT WOMENDRAGGING BODIES OUT, MAYBE WE'D

HAVE WOMEN MAKING THE DECISIONSNOT TO GO THERE IN THE FIRST

PLACE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE -- THEY

THINK, NO.

THEY THINK THAT WE'RE -- SO THISIS NOT JUST ON THE FIELD.

THIS IS IN CORPORATE AMERICATOO.

WILL, WE HAVE TO NAVIGATE SOMANY DIFFERENT THINGS.

IF WE GO INTO A SITUATION AND WEAPPROACH IT SOFT AND THEN WE'RE

EMOTIONAL.

IF WE'RE HARD, THEN WE'RE THE"B" WORD.

IF WE COMMAND A CERTAIN LEVEL OFRESPECT, ALL OF A SUDDEN WE'RE A

DIVA.

WE PLAY THESE MIND GAMES ANDHAVE TO NAVIGATE THIS ON A DAILY

BASIS.

WOMEN IN CORPORATE AMERICA AREIN COMBAT.

>> I AGREE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]I AGREE.

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

IT'S TIME FOR THE SEGMENT WECALL "KEEP IT 100."

FOR EVERYBODY WHO DOESN'TKNOW WHAT THAT EXPRESSION MEANS,

IT MEANS "KEEP IT 100% REAL."

[ LAUGHTER ]DON'T KEEP IT 100% REAL, GET A

STICKER.

VERY SIMPLE.

[ LAUGHTER ]I GOT A STICKER.

I LOVE WHEN PEOPLE ARE SO HAPPYABOUT IT.

OKAY, EGYPT.

GOT TO KEEP IT 100.

OKAY?

YOU'RE FIRST.

>> YOU ALWAYS GET ME WITH THISONE.

>> Larry: WHICH OF THESEFICTITIOUS HEROES WOULD YOU

RATHER HAVE SAVE YOU?

G.I. JOE, G.I. JANE OR BRIANWILLIAMS?

WHICH ONE OF THOSE --[ LAUGHTER ]

[ AUDIENCE OHs ]FICTITIOUS HEROES.

WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE SAVE YOU.

>> ALL RIGHT.

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GO WITHG.I. JOE.

>> Larry: G.IST JOE.

I GOT TO GO WITH G.I. JOE.

I'M KEEPING IT 100, RIGHT?

>> Larry: GOT TO KEEP IT 100.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TODO --

>> DON'T YOU DARE.

Larry: YOU KNOW WHAT I'MGOING TO DO?

BECAUSE YOU JUST SPENT THATWHOLE SPEECH TALKING ABOUT WOMEN

AND --[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU GET A LITTLE --[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU DIDN'T TELL THE TRUTH.

>> I DID.

THANK YOU.

>> Larry: I'M GONNA HAVE A MANSAVE ME.

[ LAUGHTER ]OKAY, KNOWING EVERYTHING YOU

KNOW NOW ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCESIN THE ARMY, WOULD YOU DO IT

AGAIN?

>> YES, ACTUAL.

-- ABSOLUTELY.

KEEPING IT 100.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]HONORED TO SERVE.

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT.

VERY GOOD.

OKAY.

ELANA.

YOU WROTE AN ARTICLE CALLED,"YOU'RE NOT THE EASIEST PERSON

TO DATE, ARE YOU?">> WHY DOES THAT KEEP COMING UP.

Larry: THIS IS SOMETHINGSOMEBODY SAID TO YOU?

>> YES.

Larry: OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

I JUST WANTED TO BE SUREABOUT -- WHICH IS HARDER, WAR OR

DATING YOU?

[ LAUGHTER ]GOT TO KEEP IT 100.

>> IT DEPENDS ON WHO YOU AREREALLY.

>> Larry: YOU WERE ANINTERROGATOR.

>> YEAH.

DATING ME.

[ LAUGHTER ][ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Larry: COME ON.

I'LL GIVE ONE TO MY BOYFRIEND

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]OKAY.

SAL, VERY IMPORTANT.

YOU'RE IN A BURNING BUILDING.

>> OH, OKAY.

Larry: YOU CAN ONLY SAVE TWOOF YOUR COHORTS FROM IMPRACTICAL

JOKERS.

OKAY?

>> YES.

Larry: WHO DO YOU SAVE?

JOE,.

>> I CAN SAVE TWO.

Larry: YES.

JAMES MURRAY IS DYING.

Larry: HE'S DYING?

YES, I DON'T EVEN NEED TOTHINK ABOUT IT.

>> Larry: REALLY?

I'M KEEPING IT LIKE500 MILLION.

YES.

>> Larry: YOU'RE JUST GOING TOLET HIM KNOW.

>> YOU SAID I HAD TO GO.

Larry: I KNOW.

BUT I --[ LAUGHTER ]

>> YOU GAVE ME THE PARAMETERS,AND NOW YOU BALK AT MY ANSWER.

>> Larry: NO, I JUST WANT TOKNOW WHY HE HAS TO TO DIE.

>> FROM "JUMP STREET" WE'VENEVER REALLY GOTTEN ALONG,

LARRY.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> WHEN THE OPPORTUNITY PRESENTS

ITSELF -->> YOU SAID I HAD TO.

SO THIS IS -- IT'S NOT ON ME.

IT'S ON YOU.

[ LAUGHTER ]>> Larry: I AGREE.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA GIVEYOU THIS

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Larry: IF YOU LIVE IN THE

NEW YORK CITY AREA OR PLANNINGTO VISIT, GRAB SOME FREE TICKETS

COME TO THE "THE NIGHTLY SHOW."