Costumes

  • Season 3, Ep 1
  • 01/17/2000

A couple installs Wolfman Jack technology in their home, and the UCB tries on the kinky world of costume erotica.

PUTTING ON YOUR COSTUME.

YOUR BABYSITTER'S HERETO TAKE YOU TRICK OR TREATING.

OH !

AREN'T YOU THECUTEST PRINCESSI'VE EVER SEEN.

THANK YOU.

GO AHEAD ANDRING THE BELL.

AAAAAAOOOOOOOH !

WOLFMAN JACK SAYS SOMEONE'S ATTHE FRONT DOOR, BABY !

TRICK OR TREAT.

OOOH, AND WHO ARE YOUSUPPOSED TO BE ?

YAAAHH !

OH !

OH NO !

OH MY GOD !

OH--

YOU DIDTHE RIGHT THING.

HE BOUGHT A DOORBELLTHAT WAS MAKING ILLEGAL USE

OF MYBROTHER'S VOICE.

WHO ARE YOU ?

I'M CURTIS,WOLFMAN JACK'S BROTHER.

WHAT ?

LET'S GO !

YOU'RE NOT SAFE HERE.

I'M GONNA TAKE YOUTO THE ONE PLACE

WHERE BAD THINGSNEVER HAPPEN.

( high voice )WELCOME TO MAGICLAND !

THE ONE PLACE WHEREBAD THINGS NEVER HAPPEN !

DAPPER DOLPHIN SAYS BYE-BYE,BYE-BYE, GOODBYE--

( all with high voices )MAN, IT'S HOT ASA DAMN BITCH.

145 DEGREESIN THIS SUIT.

I COULD BOIL AN EGGIN MY ASS SWEAT.

THIS FUNGUS FEELS LIKEA FOREST FIRE AROUND MY PRICK.

I GOT JUST THE THINGTO PUT IT OUT.

DIDJA HEAR ABOUTCOUNTRY LOBSTER ?

PUKED IN HIS MASK.

INSTEAD OF LETTING THE PUKE BAKEIN THE SUN LIKE WE WOULD HAVE,

HE PULLED THE MASK OFF IN FRONTOF SOME 9-YEAR-OLD.

KID'LL BE IN THERAPY FOR THEREST OF HIS LIFE

TALKING ABOUT HOW HE SAWCOUNTRY LOBSTER

JAB HIS CLAWS INTO HIS OWN NECKAND TEAR HIS HEAD OFF.

YOU GOTTA MAINTAINTHE REALITY OF THE PARK,

EVEN IF YOU'RESWEATING YOUR BALLS OFF !

BALLS ?

YEAH...

IF WE ALL HADN'TCASTRATED OURSELVES

TO GET THESEHIGH VOICES.

RIGHT.

TO THE KIDS !

TO THE KIDS !TO THE KIDS !

SO GUYS, I'VE BEEN,UH, SAVING UP MY MONEY

AND IT MIGHT REALLYHAPPEN THIS TIME.

CHIPPER CHICKEN,

NO PLASTIC SURGEON IN AMERICAIS GONNA TRANSFORM YOUR FACE

INTO A GIANTCHICKEN HEAD.

REALLY, DUMBASS ?

WELL BIG RED CAT TOLD ME ABOUTTHIS CLINIC IN SWITZERLAND

THAT'LL DO ANYTHING.

THIS THUNDERBALL STARWITH THE DACATER FIST

HAD A GORILLA VAGINAGRAFTED ONTO HIS HAND.

I HEARD ABOUT THAT.

SWITZERLAND, MAN.

( phone ringing )

HELLO ?

HEY !

THIS BREAK ROOM IS FORHEAD-WEARERS ONLY, NAMETAG !

WHY DON'T YOUGO HANG OUT

WITH THE REST OF THETICKET-TAKERS AND SODA JERKS.

SORRY, IT'S JUSTSO HOT OUT.

HOT !

YOU WANNA KNOWWHAT HOT IS ?

COME ON !

TRY WEARING A FOAM FACEIN 110 DEGREE HEAT, NAMETAG !

HUH ?

GET OUT OF HERE !

GO ON !

HEY.

JUST GOT A TIP ON THE PHONE

THAT ONE OF US HEAD-WEARERSMIGHT NOT BE CASTRATED,

LIKE WE'RESUPPOSED TO BE.

WHAT ?

YEAH, JUST USINGA FALSETTO VOICE.

I'M GONNA GO... CHECK AND SEEWHAT THAT'S ALL ABOUT.

( gun cocking )

GUYS, C'MON.

YOU DON'T THINK I--

DON'T !

( deep voice )HOW DID YOU KNOW ?

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