Tuesday, June 10, 2014

  • Season 1, Ep 01076
  • 06/10/2014

"22 Jump Street" cast members Jimmy Tatro, Ice Cube and Rob Riggle come up with stage names for a musical pole dancer, #FratAMovie and hear some tantalizing fan fiction.

>> Chris: IT'S 11:59 AND 59SECONDS.

THIS HAPPENED ON YOUTUBE TODAY,I'VE SEEN THINGS YOU PEOPLE

WOULDN'T BELIEVE.

FORTUNATELY MOST OF THEMHAPPENED BEFORE I QUIT DRINKING

AND I DON'T REMEMBER ANY OFTHEM.

I AM ABOUT TO SHOW YOU A CLIP OFA POLE DANCER, POLE DANCER WHO

REALLY KNOWS HOW TO BLOW.

JACK, ROLL THAT SEXY ASS CLIP.

JACK, ROLL THAT SEXY ASS CLIP.

>>THAT GUY'S A TRIPLE-THREAT:

DANCER, MUSICIAN, BARISTA,PROBABLY

>> PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS THISPOLE DANCING JAZZ MUSICIAN STAGE

NAME, JIMMY TATRO, GO.

>> I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SAYLOUIE CORE-STRONG.

>> YES, GOOD, EXCELLENT, GOODCORE STRENGTH.

>> ICE CUBE.

>> LET ME HIT IT WITH A, KENNYG, YOU'RE A DORK.

>> Chris: YEAH, NICE, WELL DONE.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: ROB RIGGLE.

>> JIZZY GILESPIE.

TIME FOR TONIGHT'S HASHTAG WARS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: SO IN "22 JUMP

STREET", CHANNING TATUM ANDJONAH HILL GO TO COLLEGE,

SPOILER ALERT THAT MEANS FRATPARTIES, SO TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS

#FRATAMOVIE.

>> SO EXAMPLES WOULD BE BRO-BACKMOUNTAIN, BATMAN BEGINS DRINKING

AT 10:00 A.M., OR 22-OUNCE CHUGSTREET.

>> 60-SECONDS ON THE CLOCK ANDGO.

>> JIMMY.

>> MEN IN BLACKED OUT.

>> YES, POINTS, POINTS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: RIGGLE.

>> FARTACUS.

>> Chris: CUBE.

>> JAMES BONG.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: ROB.

>> HOW TO DRAIN YOUR DRAGON.

>> Chris: POINTS.

ICE CUBE.

>> DIEHARD OF ALCOHOL POISONING.

>> Chris: YES.

YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. THAT'S APUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE FROM CUBE

ICE CUBE.

>> 22 JUMP HIM.

>> Chris: YES.

SURE.

WELL PLAYED.

RIGGLE.

>> PANTY RAIDERS OF THE LOSTARC.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: ICE CUBE.

>> GIRLS GONE WILD INTERRUPTED.

>> Chris: YES.

THAT IS A WEIRD ONE.

THERE IN A MENTAL INSTITUTION,BUT THEY TAKE THEIR TOPS OFF.

>> HEY, MAN, I LOVE IT.

>> Chris: JIMMY.

>> KEG-STAND BY ME.

22 FAN FIC.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: IF SELF PUBLISHED

BOOKS DON'T CONTAIN ENOUGHGRAMMAR ERRORS AND THREESOMES

FOR YOUR TASTE, YOU MIGHT WANTTO TRY FAN FICTION, BELIEVE IT

OR NOT, THERE IS FAN FICTION OFEVERYONE ON THIS STAGE RIGHT

NOW.

HERE TO HELP ME WITH SOME VERYSPECIAL "22 JUMP STREET", FAN

FICTION, STARS OF "22 JUMPSTREET", CHANNING TATUM AND

JONAH HILL!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> Chris: SHUT UP.

THEY ARE JUST PEOPLE!

>> OH, THANKS.

OKAY, THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN SOMUCH FOR BEING HERE.

>> YOU ARE CLASSING UP OUR SHOW.ARE YOU READY TO HEAR SOME OF

THE SMUT THAT WEIRDOES ON THEINTERNET HAVE WRITTEN ABOUT YOU?

>> YES.

>> PLEASE, PLEASE.

>> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN DOWN THEFAN RABBIT HOLES BEFORE?

>> YOU DIDN'T KNOW THIS ISTHERE.

THIS IS FUN, FIRST ONE -- THISIS THE GAME YOU CAN TELL ME IF

THIS FAN FICTION ABOUT CHANNINGOR JONAH HILL.

>> HERE WE GO.

I WALKED OVER TO HIS SHOWERSTILL HAVING MY TOWEL WRAPPED

AROUND ME.

WHEN I WAS GETTING INSIDE THESHOWER TO HELP HIM MY TOWEL GOT

CAUGHT ON A HOOK AND HE SAWEVERYTHING.

THE UPSIDE TO THIS IS THAT I GOTTO SEE HIS EVERYTHING.

>> Chris: NOW, WHICH ONE ISTHAT? WHICH ONE DO YOU GUYS

THINK IT IS?

>> NOT IT.

>> Chris: RIGGLE.

>> STRAIGHT UP JONAH HILL.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: YOU THINK JONAH HILL.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS CHANNINGTATUM!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: YOU EVEN STEPPED OUT

OF THE SHOWER CAMERA READY, HOWTHE (BLEEP) DO YOU DO THAT?

>> YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHO WAS INTHE SHOWER WITH ME GETTING ME

READY.>> NICE SOLO.

>> SO YOU STEP OUT OF THE SHOWERAND THERE IS ROB RIGGLE IN THE

CORNER DOING AIR GUITAR.

>> YOU KNOW HOW WE DO IT ON "22JUMP STREET".

THAT'S HOW YOU DO IT ON "22 JUMPSTREET".

>> I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOWHOW WE DO IT ON "22 JUMP STREET"

>> Chris: ALL RIGHT.

NEXT ONE.

IS THIS FAN FICTION ABOUT ROBRIGGLE AND JOHN OLIVER OR JONAH

HILL AND LEE HARVEY OSWALD.

>> WE ARE DOING THE VOICES FROMTHE NEW CG NINJA TURTLES.

SO HERE WE GO.

AFTER HIS GIGGLING SUBSIDED,HE BEGAN TO GET COMFORTABLE.

HE GAZED UP AT THE CEILING,NOTICING HOW MUCH LIGHTER ROOM

SEEMED.

WELL, WITH HIS BIG STRONG MARINESO CLOSE, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY

GET HIM NOW?

>> CHANNING TATUM IS BLUSHING.

>> SO IS THIS ABOUT RIGGLE ANDOLIVER OR HILL AND OSWALD?

>> YES, RIGGLE.

>> IT IS OSWALD, DUDE.

>> YOU THINK IT IS OSWALD ANDHILL.

>> OSWALD AND HILL.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> RIGGLE AND OLIVER.

>> (BLEEP)!>> TICKLE PARTY CONVENTION?

>> SORRY, I JUST READ IT. SORRY,THAT WAS LATE.

>> Chris: IS THIS FAN FICTIONABOUT ICE CUBE, ICE-T AND A

MODEL TRAIN SET OR CHANNINGTATUM, JONAH HILL AND A MODEL

TRAIN SET.

>> THE MEMBER DONNED THEIRSTRIPED CONDUCTOR HATS AND BLANK

PROCEEDED TO SHOW HIS GUEST EACHHAND PAINTED AND DECORATED CAR

OF HIS IMPRESSIVE TRAIN.

>> WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

>> THE INTERNET!

>> THEY JUST CHURN IT OUT.

>> Chris: ICE CUBE.

>> I THINK THAT IS JONAH ANDCHANNING RIGHT THERE.

>> Chris: OKAY. NOT THE ICES?

LET'S FIND OUT.

>> NO! NOT THE ICES!

>> I AM SORRY.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO GETTINGTHE (BLEEP) KICKED OUT OF YOU.

>> I DON'T EVEN WANT TO TELL YOUHOW --

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

>> OH!

BEFORE THE BREAK I SHOWED YOU AFACEBOOK POST FROM A POLICE

STATION IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA,WESTERN AUSTRALIA ASKING USERS

TO CONTACT THEM IF THEY RECEIVEDPOOR CUSTOMER SERVICE FROM THEIR

LOCAL DRUG DEALER.

I ASKED YOU TO RESPOND TO THEPOST AS A RIPPED OFF DRUG USER.

HE'S KILLING IT ON THE DRUGDEALING, BUT I GAVE HIM $10,000

TO MURDER MY WIFE LAST WEEK ANDSTILL HASN'T DONE IT YET.

I'M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE HE'SSOMEONE I CAN'T TRUST.

THE DRUGS ARE GREAT, JUSTUNRELIABLE ON THE WIFE MURDER.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> Chris: THEY ARE ASKING FOR

COMPLAINTS.

>> ROB RIGGLE.

>> I FOUND THE ENTIRE EXPERIENCEFROM THE ALLEY PURCHASE FROM

MR. WEIRD MILKY EYE AND HISPITBULL DICK BACKBITER TO WAKING

UP NAKED AT A DENNY'S WITH MOONSOVER MY HAMMY SPEARED ON MY

CHEST, UNSATISFYING AT BEST.

>> YOU CAN PROBABLY FINDMR. MILKY EYE STILL LOITERING BY

THE MEN'S ROOM NEXT TO THECHILI'S TOO AT LAX.

>> Chris: ICE CUBE.

>> HE SAID I WOULD GET HIGH AS(BLEEP) BUT I AM ONLY AS HIGH AS

TITTIES. PLEASE ADVISE.

LESSER-KNOWN POLICE CODES.

A GREAT MAN ONCE SAID AND IQUOTE, (BLEEP) THE POLICE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>> WE ALL KNOW POLICE CODES LIKE

187, WHICH IS THE COLD FOR AMURDER.

BUT I WANT YOU GUYS TO DIG INAND GIVE ME SOME LESSER-KNOWN

POLICE CODES.

I AM PUTTING 60-SECONDS ON THECLOCK AND GO.

>> ICE CUBE.

>> A 186.5 WHICH IS A MIDGETMURDER IN PROGRESS.

>> Chris: POINTS. I WILL GIVEYOU POINTS.

>> YES ROB.

>> 666, POSSESSION.

>> Chris: OH SO GOOD! JIMMY.

>> 300, UNLAWFUL GATHERING OFSHIRT-LESS DUDES.

>> Chris: POINTS.

YES.

GOOD.

ICE CUBE.

>> A 99, WHICH IS A NON-BITCHRELATED PROBLEM.

>> Chris: POINTS.

ROB RIGGLE.

>> 6969 I AM HEADING INTO THEVALLEY.

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> Chris: ICE CUBE.

555, WHICH MEANS A TV CHARACTERJUST GAVE OUT HIS PHONE NUMBER.

>> Chris: POINTS.

JIMMY.

>> 575, WE HAVE GOT A HAIKUIN PROGRESS.

>> Chris: POINTS.

ICE CUBE.

>> YOU THE KIND OF TEACHER THATCALL YOU IN CLASS WHEN YOU NOT

READY.

>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME UP TOTHE BOARD?

>> NO. I'M ASLEEP.

OKAY.

I HAVE 1001, THAT MEANSDALMATIAN DOGFIGHTING RING.

>> Chris: YES.

POINTS.

>> THAT IS ADORABLE.

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