In this episode, the Kennedy Center awards -- why must we honor people so lazy they spread their achievements over a lifetime? Then, if you ever drank too much, fondled a stripper, or have been dragged out of a casino screaming, "Do you know who I am?," we've got a segment for you. Plus, the war on Christmas -- what do the PC police have against partridges, pear trees and lords a-leaping? And Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Maureen Dowd will be here. We'll find out if I'm necessary. Get ready to make a difference by watching TV. This is The Colbert Report.