Amy gets a gynecological exam from Congress, shills for a product called Yo-Puss and pitches her idea for a historical musical to Lin-Manuel Miranda.
(relaxing music playing)
Where's the doctor?
We're your doctor?
No, you're a bunchof congressmen.
I recognize you.
I just need to getmy annual Pap smear.
Do any of you haveany medical training?
We're the House Committeeon Women's Health.
So I think we havea better idea
than a bunchof science-y nerdles.
You mean doctors?
When was the dateof your last lady curse?
Two weeks ago,if you mean my period.
And how many blood diapersdid you use?
A dozen?I don't know.
And that is...?
Now, it says hereyou are 34.
How many childrendo you have?
But it says hereyou're 34.
Are you sexually active?Yeah.
And how many childrendo you have?!
How often do youand your husband, um...?
Oh, I'm not married.
Oh, so you're a virgin.
Have a lollipopand run along.
No, I'm not a virgin!I'm just not married!
I just need my annual Pap smearto make sure I'm healthy.
I have a family historyof cervical cancer.
How many men have youlaid with in the last year?
Do two of you have like secretfamilies with your maids?
We're not the oneson trial here!
That's right, young lady.
Guess we have to dothe vagina-y part.
What are you doing?Remember...
even thoughwe're doing this,
we are not your boyfriend.
Scooch downon the table,
put your legsin those restraints,
I feel a lot more comfortablewith a woman in here.
Aren't there any women onthe Women's Health Committee?
That'd be like lettingthe lions run the zoo.
Mmm, this yogurt isso good.
Apple Turnover ismy favorite.
I've got Boston cream pie.It tastes so good.
And the best part is,it keeps me regular.
Well, my yogurt getsto work downstairs, too.
But in the frontof the house...
I don't get your meaning.
This new yogurt, Yo-Puss,
makes your pussytaste like nothing.
(female narrator)A woman's intimate area
is a rancid playgroundof flavor-causing enzymes
and white gravel,
but Yo-Puss deadensthose cells,
removing the unpleasantand unfair taste permanently.
You mean,if I eat Yo-Puss,
I won't taste like hot summerChinatown garbage anymore?
You won't taste likeanything anymore.
My pussy tasteslike nothing.
I use scented tampons evenwhen I'm not on my period,
just to chemically stripmy vagina of any scent.
But I still worryit tastes really bad.
It definitely does.
But if you just choke downthree tubs of this per day,
I promise you, in the next12 to 14 business weeks,
it'll start working.
Tastes like yogurt, right?Mmm.
(female narrator)Particularlystrong-tasting pussies
may take up to 34 business weeks
to experience resultsof Yo-Puss.
Side effects include ovarianstigmata, puff taint,
and clitoral numbness.
I've got plain.
Now, if only they couldwork on something
that's gonna help with the tasteof my rancid asshole.