Extended - Thursday, June 16, 2016 - Uncensored

  • 06/16/2016

Big Jay Oakerson, Vance Sanders and Doug Benson meet Donald Trump's look-alike, list #OceanMovies and give Father's Day shout-outs in this extended, uncensored episode.

DONALD TRUMP IS A CHAMELEON, NOTJUST BECAUSE HE MORPHED FROM

LIBERAL TO CONSERVATIVE FASTERTHAN YOU CAN SAY KOCH BROTHERS,

BUT HE LOOKS LIKE A LOT OFTHINGS.

REDDIT THOUGHT HIS HAIR LOOKEDLIKE THIS CATERPILLAR.

UH...

(LAUGHTER)>> ALSO DEADLY.

BUZZFEED THOUGHT HE LOOKED LIKETHIS SUSHI... RIGHT HERE.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)AND...

>> I FEEL BAD FOR THE SUSHI.

THAT'S REALLY... UNFAIR.

>> UNCANNY.

>> HARDWICK: ON THIS PROGRAM,ADMITTEDLY, WE'VE SAID THAT HE

LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING FROM ACORN HUSK CURSED BY A WITCH TO A

DISSONANT BAGPIPE POWERED BYFARTS, BUT...

(LAUGHTER)...THE INTERNET HAS FOUND A NEW

THING THAT RESEMBLES THE DONALD,AND IT IS WONDERFUL.

COMEDIANS, WHAT LOOKS LIKE MR.TRUMP? IS IT A...

DOUG BENSON.

(LAUGHTER)(CHEERING)

A REALLY...

DANK...

>> I THINK THEY KNOW YOU, DOUG.

>> HARDWICK: ...WEED NUGGET.

>> I'M NOT GONNA FALL FOR THAT.

(LAUGHTER)IT'S A) A WEASEL-LIKE POKÉMON.

>> HARDWICK: YES! THAT'S THECORRECT ANSWER!

TAKE A LOOK. THERE IT IS.

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)>> GOOD GRAB.

>> HARDWICK: THIS, UH...

(CHEERING CONTINUES)THIS ANGRY WEASEL WITH THE TINY

HANDS AND THE BAD HAIR LOOKSJUST LIKE DONALD TRUMP.

THIS IS YUNGOOS. YUNGOOS.

AND JUST LIKE IN POKÉMON, TRUMPWANTS TO CATCH 'EM ALL!

HE JUST MEANS FOREIGNERS.

UH...

(AUDIENCE GROANING)HEY, MAN, I DIDN'T FUCKIN' DO

IT. UH...

(LAUGHTER)POKÉMON ARE KNOWN FOR ATTACKS

LIKE BLAZE KICK AND COMET PUNCH,SO, COMEDIANS, NOW THAT POKÉDON

IS HERE, WHAT'S ONE OF HISSPECIAL ATTACKS?

BIG JAY.

>> HOW ABOUT THE IMMIGRANTLAUNCH?

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

YEAH. YEAH. VANCE.

>> MAN TAN SPLAINING SPRAY.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER)DOUG.

>> TINY HAND SLAP.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT. POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)OW. STOP IT!

STOP IT! STOP IT!

IT IS NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT'S#HASHTAGWARS.

(CHEERING)GUYS...

YOU KNOW, I OWE EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU AN APOLOGY, BECAUSE

WE'RE ALREADY HALFWAY THROUGHJUNE AND I HAVE NOT YET WISHED

ALL OF YOU HAPPY AQUARIUM MONTH.

I KNOW. I'M A PIECE OF SHIT.

I RUINED THE WALKING DEAD.

SO, UH...

(LAUGHTER)...LET'S JUMP RIGHT IN WITH A

BLOCKBUSTER HASHTAG THAT'LL FLOWTO THE TOP OF TWITTER.

TONIGHT'S HASHTAG IS#OCEANMOVIES.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE:THE KARATE SQUID,

OR SILENCE OF THE CLAMS.

I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THECLOCK, AND BEGIN.

JAY.

>> THE HUNT FOR RED LOBSTER.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

(CHEERING)VANCE.

>> DUDE, WHERE'S MY CARP?

>> HARDWICK: POINTS! VERY GOOD.

BIG JAY.

>> DEUCE BIGALOW: WHALE GIGOLO.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)DOUG.

>> OCEAN'S ELEVEN.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)VANCE.

>> FINDING CHEMO.

IT'S THE SAD SEQUEL.

(AUDIENCE AW-ING)IT'S THE VERY SAD SEQUEL.

VERY SAD. VERY SAD.

(LAUGHTER)IT'S VERY HEARTFELT, BUT IT'S

VERY...

>> HARDWICK: THAT'S THE SADDESTFISH STORY EVER. POINTS.

DOUG.

>> OCEAN'S TWELVE.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

YEAH, IT WORKS.

JAY.

>> AS WET AS IT GETS.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

DOUG.

>> SUPER GROUPERS.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS!

(CHEERING)VANCE.

>> REEF MADNESS.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

VERY GOOD. VERY GOOD. DOUG.

>> WHO COULD FORGET OCEAN'STHIRTEEN? I ALMOST DID.

>> HARDWICK: I MEAN...

(CHEERING, WHOOPING, APPLAUSE)NONE OF US NOW.

I TOLD YOU THAT SOME OF OUR@MIDNIGHT

VIEWERS SENT US PICTURES OFTHEIR DADS IN ACTION AND THEIR

DADS' INACTION SO, UH, WE COULDGIVE THEM A SPECIAL FATHER'S DAY

MESSAGE, AND I GAVE EACH ONE OFYOU A DAD.

LET'S HEAR WHAT YOU WROTE.

DOUG, LET'S START WITH YOU.

YOU HAD THIS FLATULENT FELLOW.

>> ♪ THE BEST PART OF WAKING UPIS DAD FARTS IN YOUR CUP ♪

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT.

VANCE SANDERS.

YOU HAD THIS, UH... THIS WHITEWINO.

>> DAD, I DON'T CARE HOW MUCHYOU LOVE HER.

I'M NOT CALLING HER MOM.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT.

AND, JAY, YOU HAD THIS CLASSICPOP.

>> HEY, DAD, HOPE YOU LIKE THEKICKASS SHIRT I SENT YOU.

I TOOK IT OFF A DEAD GUY IN ABOWLING ALLEY.

I-I ALSO... I ALSO SENT YOU HISDICK, SO YOU KNOW IT'S

AUTHENTIC.

SO IF YOU COULD TAKE A PICTUREWITH BOTH, THAT'D BE GREAT.

LOVE YOU, BIG GUY.

>> HARDWICK: AW, WHAT AHEARTWARMING... WHAT A

HEARTWARMING FATHER'S DAY.

DONALD TRUMP, THE SCREAMINGORANGE INEVITABLE, IS KNOWN FOR

GIVING PEOPLE NICKNAMES LIKECRAZY BERNIE AND LYIN' TED AND

"HILLARY" CLINTON.

SO, COMEDIANS, I'M GONNA SHOWYOU SOME POLITICAL MEDIA

FIGURES, AND I WANT YOU TO TELLME WHAT DONALD TRUMP'S NICKNAME

FOR THEM WILL BE.

FIRST, PRESIDENT OBAMA.

DOUG BENSON.

>> JACK HALF-BLACK.

>> HARDWICK: JESUS CHRIST.

ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

NEXT UP, QUEEN ELIZABETH. VANCE.

>> MARY POOPINS.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

NEXT UP, POPE FRANCIS. JAY.

>> CAPTAIN MOLESTO.

>> HARDWICK: JESUS CHRIST.

HE'S NOT...

>> TOO SOON?

>> HARDWICK: I MEAN... ALLRIGHT, I'LL GIVE YOU POINTS.

NEXT UP, PUTIN. VLADIMIR PUTIN.

DOUG.

>> BUDDY!

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

AND, FINALLY, TED NUGENT.

TED NUGENT. JAY.

>> UM, CHIEF JUSTICE THEODORENUGENT.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT.

OH, BOY. YEAH, PROBABLY.

POINTS.