CC Presents: Matt Braunger

  • 01/11/2010

Matt Braunger lays out his pornography rule, and celebrates Halloween and overly literate athletes.

I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU ON THAT.

OH, THANK YOU.[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THANKS.DIDN'T, UH -- THANK YOU.

I DIDN'T HAVE A BABYOR ANYTHING,

BUT THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

IT WAS EASY, MAN.I JUST CUT OUT BED CALZONES.

[ LAUGHTER ]

THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO DO.

STOP TAKING A HOT CALZONETO BED WITH YOU

AND SHOTGUNNING IT AND DRIFT OFF

TO HEARTBURN-FUELEDNIGHTMARISH SLEEP.

JUST STOP.

JUST STOP DOING THAT.

WHY, YOU KNOW?'CAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE A PILLOW?

WHY DO WE DO IT, YOU KNOW?

MOM, RIGHT?YEAH, SAME THING WITH ME.

MOM LIKE, "EAT YOUR CALZONE.

I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE NECK,"RIGHT?

MY MOM WOULD BITE THE ENDOFF THE CALZONE

AND PUT THE HOLE PARTIN MY MOUTH AND JUST PUNCH IT,

AND ALL THE CHEESE AND SAUCE

WOULD JUST FILLMY LITTLE BABY HEAD.

UGH! UGH!

WHY?

WHY?

[ CHUCKLES ]

AND, YOU KNOW,SO I TRY TO HAVE GOOD NEWS

TO COME HOME WITH.

YOU KNOW, LIKE THIS IS COOL.

AND, YOU KNOW, BUT IT HASN'TBEEN GREAT GROWING UP.

I HAVEN'T BEEN THE BEST KID.

LIKE, SHOW OF HANDS.

WHO ELSE HERE HAS BEEN ARRESTEDFOR DRUNK DRIVING

WHILE WEARINGA KENNY ROGERS T-SHIRT?

[ LAUGHTER ]

JUST ME?

THAT [BLEEP] PERFECT STORMOF WHITE TRASH RIGHT THERE.

THAT'S --THAT'S A PERFECT STORM.

YOU KNOW?

LIKE, IF I GET FAMOUS,

I RUIN MY CHANCEFOR A COOL MUG SHOT, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, HAVE YOU SEENFRANK SINATRA'S MUG SHOT?

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.HE'S LIKE 19 YEARS OLD.

HE'S WEARING A TUXEDOHE EVIDENTLY WAS BORN IN

AND GREW INTO, YOU KNOW?

AND HE'S LOOKING AT THE CAMERALIKE, "I GOT PINCHED.

[BLEEP] IT."

IT'S AMAZING!

MINE, I'M LIKE, "UGH!"

KENNY ROGERSIS ON MY SHIRT LIKE, "HEY.

"GOT TO KNOW WHEN TO HOLD 'EM,KNOW WHEN TO CALL A CAB.

KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?"YOU KNOW?

BUT NOT ALL D.U.I.sARE CREATED EQUAL.

I'LL SAY THAT.AND I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ARRESTED.

I'M NOT BITTER.

LIKE, I WAS ALL OVER THE ROADLIKE [BLEEP] "FROGGER," OKAY?

I DESERVED IT, YOU KNOW?

BUT I WILL SAY THIS, OKAY?

I WAS ARRESTED IN 2002.

GEORGE W. BUSH WAS ARRESTEDFOR DRUNK DRIVING IN THE '70s.

YOU KNOW HOW DRUNK YOU HAVETO BE -- OR HAVE TO HAVE BEEN --

TO GET ARRESTEDIN THE [BLEEP] '70s?

YOU CAN HAVE LIKE A JOINTAND AN OPEN BOTTLE OF JACK.

LONG AS YOU PASS ITTO YOUR "BRO," YOU'RE COOL.

COP'S LIKE, "BUK-A BUK-A,YOU'RE COOL.

SEE YOU, MAN."

AWESOME. YOU KNOW?

GEORGE W. BUSH HAD TO HAVE BEENSO MESSED UP,

HE WAS STEERING WITH THE FORCEOF HIS OWN VOMIT PROJECTILE,

OKAY?

"[ As George W. Bush ]I GOT TO MAKE A LEFT.

"[ VOMITING ]

"NO, IT'S A RIGHT.

"[ VOMITING ]

"WHY'D I DRIVE A STICK SHIFT?

"[ VOMITING ]

"GET IT IN REVERSE.

[ VOMITING ]"

HAD TO HAVE BEEN.

BUT I HAVEN'T DONETHE LEGAL-WEED-CARD THING YET

BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO BEON A LIST

WHEN THEY COMEFOR ALL THE STONERS.

BUT, YOU KNOW --BUT, LIKE, THE THING IS,

THEY'RE INCREDIBLY EASY TO GET.

PEOPLE DON'T REALIZEHOW EASY THEY ARE TO GET.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHEN THEY GO ON CNNAND PEOPLE ARE LIKE,

"OH, WELL, ARE PEOPLEWHO AREN'T SICK GETTING IT?"

YES.AND WHO THE [BLEEP] CARES?

IT'S POT.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

I DON'T CARE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW,IT'S INCREDIBLY EASY TO GET.

LIKE, PEOPLE GOTO THOSE DISPENSARIES,

AND THEY HAVE, LIKE,A LAUNDRY LIST OF AILMENTS,

YOU KNOW,TO GIVE TO THOSE DOCTORS

THAT'LL JUST SIGN OFFON ANYTHING.

YOU CAN PRETTY MUCH GO IN THEREAND GO,

"UM, I INTERMITTENTLY BLINKALL DAY."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"SOMETIMES I WAKE UP INTHE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHTAND I HAVE TO PEE,

AND SCARY MOVIES SCARE ME."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"YOU NEED POT.HERE. TAKE IT.

YOU NEED POT.YOU NEED IT."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

"YEAH.YOU NEED IT. TAKE THIS.

"YOU'RE --YOU'RE IN DIRE NEED OF POT.

TAKE THIS," YOU KNOW?

BUT, LIKE, YOU KNOW,PEOPLE GO IN THERE

WITH THESE LISTS OF CRAZINESS.

LIKE -- LIKE, MY FRIEND WORKSAT ONE OF THESE PLACES, RIGHT?

AND A GUY CAME IN WITH THISLAUNDRY LIST OF -- OF AILMENTS

THAT WAS RIDICULOUS.

LIKE, MY FRIEND LOOKEDAND WAS LIKE,

"LOOK, MAN, I KNOW YOU'RE --ACTUALLY YOU'RE NOT SICK.

"YOU'RE LYING TO ME.

"BUT IF YOU'RE NOT,GO TO THE HOSPITAL RIGHT NOW.

"CAN YOU EVEN HAVE AIDSOF JUST THE EYEBALL?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND."

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S LIKE -- IT'S LIKE HOW ITWAS FOR US WHEN WE WERE LIKE 14.

YOU HAD YOUR FIRST, LIKE,FAKE I.D.

YOU REMEMBER THAT?

YOU KNOW,AND THAT ONE BIG VOYAGE.

LIKE, YOUR "STAR TREK" VOYAGE

WAS THE TIME YOU DECIDED TO GOTO AN ACTUAL BAR AND USE IT.

LIKE [BLEEP] LET'S DO IT.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE YOU'RE AN ADVENTURER.

SO, YOU GO TO A BAR,BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT,

SO YOU WORE A SUIT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

"HEY.HOW IS EVERYONE?

"HOW ARE MY FELLOW ADULTS?DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID THAT.

"THIS MUSTACHE IS REAL.

[ LAUGHS EXAGGERATEDLY ]"

YOU KNOW?

THANK YOU.

IT'S LIKE A DOVE MADEOF RAINBOWS CAME IN THE ROOM.

IT'S AWESOME.

EVEN OTHER WOMEN ARE LIKE,"OH, SHE'S HAVING A NICE TIME.

"THAT'S COOL.

YEAH."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WHEN A GUY --WHEN A GUY HAS AN ORGASM,

IT'S LIKE THE DEVIL HIMSELFTORE OFF HIS OWN FACE

AND, LIKE, SNAKES AREPOURING OUT OF HIS RED SKULL.

THANKS! YOU KNOW?

[ LAUGHTER ]

LIKE, NO MATTER HOW SMOOTH

YOUR LOVEMAKING TECHNIQUEAS A MAN IS,

EVENTUALLY YOU'RE GOING TO BE

JERRY LEWISGETTING ELECTROCUTED.

YOU JUST ARE, YOU KNOW?

"OH, GIRL, THIS IS THE BE--[As Jerry Lewis] THANK YOU!"

PUNCH THE WALL!

"WHY IS IT VIOLENT?!

"YAY! THANKS! YES!

"AND FUN. GOOD.

YES."

I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.

'CAUSE I LIFT WEIGHTSTO THE MUSIC OF THE SMITHS.

ANYONE ELSE?ANYONE?

[ SCATTEREDCHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

NO? DON'T LIE!

I AM THE ONLY ONETHAT HAS EVER DONE THAT, OKAY?

NO ONE DOES THAT.

YOU GUYS KNOW WHO THE SMITHS AREAND MORRISSEY?

YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?YEAH.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS,BUT, LIKE, CHOLOS,

LIKE, HARD-CORE LATINO GANGSTERSLOVE MORRISSEY.

DO YOU GUYS KNOW THAT?IN LOS ANGELES.

'CAUSE I LIVE IN THE EAST SIDEOF LOS ANGELES.

I MEAN, NOT EAST EAST.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

YOU KNOW, I'M NOT ONE OF THOSEIDIOTS, LIKE, DUMB WHITE PEOPLE

THAT'S JUST LIKE,"I CAN LIVE WHEREVER I WANT."

BULLET. BULLET.YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

NOT SMART.

NOT SMART.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

KIND OF --KIND OF KOOKABURRA, YOU KNOW?

LIKE -- [ CHUCKLES ]

LIKE, I WAS OVER -- I WAS OVERIN A BAR IN BOYLE HEIGHTS,

WHICH IS IN EAST L.A.

AND THESE, LIKE, CHOLOS AREPOSTED UP AT THE JUKEBOX, RIGHT?

AND THEY'RE JUST, LIKE,LISTENING, NODDING THEIR HEADS

TO THE SMITHS,ALL HARD-CORE, YOU KNOW?

BUT GAUCHO MUSTACHES, BANDANAS,FACE TATTOOS, LIKE, HARD-CORE.

AND MY FRIEND GOES OVER TO THEMAND JUST STARTS TALKING TO THEM,

'CAUSE SHE'S DRUNK, WHICH MEANSSHE CAN SUFFER NO HARM.

SO SHE GOES OVER,AND SHE'S LIKE,

"WHY DO YOU GUYS LIKE MORRISSEY?YOU KNOW HE'S GAY, RIGHT?"

RIGHT?

AND THE BIGGEST ONE GOES"[Spanish accent] NO!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"HE'S BISEXUAL!"

IT'S [BLEEP] AWESOME!

AWESOME!

AWESOME!

LOVE HALLOWEEN.IT'S THE BEST.

HALLOWEEN'S GREAT, MAN.

SO MANY OTHER HOLIDAYS, LIKE,THEY KIND OF LOSE THEIR LUSTER,

YOU KNOW, LIKE CHRISTMAS,

AND I'D IMAGINE HANUKKAHKIND OF, YOU KNOW, GETS --

I WASN'T MOTIONING TO ANYONE,BY THE WAY.

YES, YOU.WHAT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

BUT, YOU KNOW, IT DOESN'T --IT'S NOT AS FUN AFTER A WHILE.

LIKE, HALLOWEEN NOT ONLYSTAYS FUN, BUT GETS FUNNER,

YOU KNOW, IF THAT'S A WORD.

LIKE,HALLOWEEN WHEN YOU'RE A KID,

YOU DRESS UP IN A COSTUME,FREE CANDY.

YOU KNOW, YOU GROW UP, DRESS UPIN A COSTUME, DRUNK AS BALLS.

IT'S AWESOME, YOU KNOW?

AND I HAVE THOSE A-HOLE FRIENDSTHAT ARE LIKE,

"OH, I DON'T DRESS UPIN A COSTUME ANYMORE.

I'M A GROWN-UP.I'M 28."

[BLEEP] YOU.OKAY. RIGHT?

I MEAN, COME ON.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

FIRST OFF, 28 IS NOT GROWN UP.

YOU'RE NOT AN ADULTTILL YOU HIT 40.

OKAY, THAT'S THE RULE.OKAY?

AND SECOND OFF,GETTING DRUNK IN COSTUME

IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GIFTSGOD HAS EVER GIVEN US, OKAY?

IT'S JUST TRUE.

IT'S JUST TRUE.

YOU KNOW HOW FUN IT ISBEING DRUNK BATMAN?

YOU KNOW,TRYING TO SOLVE THE CASE

OF WHY AM I NOT PISSING ONMY BEST FRIEND'S CAR RIGHT NOW.

OH, CASE CLOSED, YOU KNOW?

"BRAUNGER,QUIT PISSING ON MY CAR!"

"WHO'S BRAUNGER?I'M BATMAN...

TAKING A BAT-PISS!"

[ MUMBLING ]

WHICH IS THE DRUNK BATMAN THEME.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I'M ALWAYS --I'M ALWAYS DRUNK SUPERMAN

OR DRUNK SOMETHING,I SHOULD SAY, FOR HALLOWEEN.

DRUNK SUPERMAN, DRUNK BATMAN,DRUNK JESUS, YOU KNOW?

YOU KNOW, LIKE HOW WOMEN OFTENWILL BE LIKE SEXY SOMETHING --

SEXY NURSE, SEXY DOCTOR,SEXY EXECUTIONER, YOU KNOW?

WHICH, UH -- HEY.[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YOU KNOW THAT ONE?

IT'S A BIKINI AND A BLACK HOOD.

SO HOT, YOU KNOW?

IT'S AWESOME.

BUT ONE YEAR I WAS --I JUST PHONED IT IN.

LIKE, I WAS DRUNK SUPERMAN,

BUT I HAD, LIKE,JUST A SUPERMAN T-SHIRT ON

AND A BEARD AND LONG HAIR.

LIKE, SUPERMAN REALLYLET HIMSELF GO, YOU KNOW?

AND I WAS IN A LAUNDROMAT,RIGHT, DOING MY LAUNDRY, DRUNK.

'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE 22,THAT'S WHAT YOU DO, RIGHT?

AND SO I'M THERE, AND THIS LADYCOMES IN WITH HER TODDLER,

AND THIS KID'S LIKE, "SUPERMAN!"RIGHT?

AND I'M LIKE...

"♪ BUH-BUH-BUH-BUH "

YOU KNOW, LIKE,SCREWING UP THE THEME.

AND THE MOM'S LIKE, "YES, HONEY,HE'S WEARING A SUPERMAN T-SHIRT,

YOU KNOW, BUT HE'S NOT SUPER--"

AND GIVES ME A LOOK LIKE,

"DON'T LET MY KID THINKYOU'RE SUPERMAN," YOU KNOW?

AND 'CAUSE SHE DID THAT,I WAS LIKE,

"BUT I AM SUPERMAN," YOU KNOW?

WOULD NOT LET IT GO.

AND SHE --SHE DRAGS THE KID AWAY, RIGHT?

AND WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE --I WAS DRUNK.

I SHOULD HAVE --INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, SAYING,

"BUT I AM SUPERMAN,"I SHOULD HAVE PROVED IT.

I SHOULD HAVE RUN RIGHT THROUGHTHE PLATE-GLASS WALL

OF THE LAUNDROMAT, YOU KNOW,JUST -- "SOMEONE'S IN TROUBLE!"

AND JUST GO, YOU KNOW,RIGHT THROUGH IT.

AND THAT KID WOULD HAVE GROWN UPTHINKING HE SAW SUPERMAN.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

HE WOULD HAVE BEENLIKE 50 YEARS OLD, LIKE,

"NO, YOU GUYS, SUPERMAN'S REAL.NO, HE'S A REAL GUY.

HE'S A [BLEEP] DRUNK!"

OH, MY GOD.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW, CERTAIN THINGSI THINK ARE WRONG

IN THE FIELD OF PORNOGRAPHY,OKAY?

SHOULD JUST BE BANNED,BASICALLY.

YOU KNOW,IT SHOULD BE MADE ILLEGAL.

SPECIFICALLY,I THINK IT SHOULD BE ILLEGAL

FOR THE GUY THAT'S HAVING SEXWITH THE GAL --

SHOULD BE ILLEGAL FOR HIM TO BEABLE TO, MID-SEXUAL INTERCOURSE,

TURN AND LOOK DIRECTLYINTO THE CAMERA...

[ LAUGHTER ]

...AT ME, THE MASTURBATOR, OKAY?

JUST CALL IT LIKE IT ISAND SAY SOME [BLEEP] LIKE,

"WHO SAID THAT WAS COOL?"

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE, I'M YOU, DUDE.DON'T YOU GET IT?

I'M YOU RIGHT NOW.DON'T LOOK AT ME, OKAY?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

DON'T LOOK AT ME, YOU KNOW?

LIKE, WHAT,ARE WE ON A BIG SEX TEAM

'CAUSE WE'RE BOTH DUDES,YOU KNOW?

LIKE, "HIGH FIVE,CAPTAIN HORSE PENIS.

AWESOME. GOOD JOB."

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE, CREEP ME OUT SO BAD.

LIKE, YOU KNOW,BAD ENOUGH, SAD ENOUGH.

I'M BY MYSELF, YOU KNOW,TAKING CARE OF MYSELF,

WATCHING TWO OTHER PEOPLELUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE SEX.

THIS GUY LOOKS OVER,BREAKS THE FOURTH WALL.

ALL OF A SUDDEN, I FEEL LIKE

I JUST RAN UP TO SOMEONE'S HOUSEAND OPENED THE BLINDS,

LIKE, "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYSDOING IN THERE?

"I'M NOT CREEPY AT ALL.THIS IS ACCEPTABLE, RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT."

LIKE, IF YOU'VE NEVER SEEN THAT,IT'S THE WORST THING EVER.

LIKE, IT LOOKS LIKE THIS.

OKAY, GUY'S JUST LIKE --IT'S ALWAYS THE GROSSEST GUY,

LIKE, TATTOOS ON HIS NECKAND SWEATY,

AND HE'S JUST LIKE, "OH, YEAH.

"OH, HEY, WHAT'S UP?I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

"HOW ARE YOU?

"HOW YOU DOIN'?

"YEAH!

"ALL RIGHT!

"YEAH!

"YOU'RE ALONE,AREN'T YOU, LOSER?

HA-HA! I'M NOT!LOOK AT THIS!"

[BLEEP] THAT GUY!

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

LIKE, THE ONLY THING WORSEIS WHEN A GUY IN A PORNO --

I'LL SAY, FINISHES, ALL RIGHT,

FOR THE SENSITIVE MEMBERSIN THE AUDIENCE --

WHEN A MAN FINISHES.

WHEN A MAN LOVES A WOMANVERY MUCH, AND HE FINISHES.

RIGHT.

AND THEN HE HAS LIKE A ONE-LINERFOR THE CAMERA, YOU KNOW,

LIKE HE'S A FRIGGIN'HENNY YOUNGMAN OF PORN.

YOU EVER SEEN THAT?

LIKE, "OH, WHAT A HILARIOUSEJACULATION.

I'M NOT CREEPED OUT AT ALL.I'M GONNA GO KILL MYSELF NOW."

LIKE, I DON'T KNOWIF YOU'VE SEEN THAT.

BUT THE GUY WILL, LIKE, FINISHAND THEN LOOK IN THE CAMERA

AND HAVE, LIKE,SOMETHING TO SAY, LIKE --

I WAS WATCHING THIS ONE WHERETHIS GUY WAS WEARING NOTHING

BUT, LIKE, A LEATHER COWBOY HATAND A MATCHING VEST.

AND DON'T YOU JUDGE ME AT ALL.

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU'VE SEEN IT.

AND THE GUY'S LIKE --THE GUY'S LIKE,

"OH, GOD, I'M GONNA [BLEEP]AH!"

AND HE DOES IT,LIKE, HE ORGASMS,

AND THEN HE LOOKS AROUNDFOR THE CAMERA,

AND HE'S LIKE,"COUNTRY BOY WINS AGAIN!

"AH!

"AH!

"HEY!

AH!"

BUT, YOU KNOW,I FOUND THIS OUT RECENTLY,

THAT COLLEGIATEAND PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES

HAVE TO TAKE A CLASS TO LEARNHOW TO TALK TO THE MEDIA.

DID YOU KNOW THAT?THAT MAKES ME SAD.

'CAUSE I REALIZE THAT'S WHY

THEY ALWAYS SOUND THE SAMEAFTER GAMES.

LIKE, YOU EVER WATCH,LIKE, A POST-GAME INTERVIEW

ON THE FIELDAFTER A FOOTBALL GAME?

YOU LEARN NOTHING.

IF YOU'VE SEEN THE GAME,YOU LEARN NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, NOTHING NEW.

EVEN IF YOU TUNE IN AFTERWARD,

THEY ALWAYS SAY THE SAME THINGAFTER THE GAME.

THEY TALK --LIKE THE WINNING QUARTERBACK.

THEY'RE LIKE, "WELL,I'M TALKING TO CHRIS JOHNSON,

"THE QUARTERBACKFOR THE COUGARS.

CHRIS,YOUR THOUGHTS ON THE GAME."

"WELL, MAN, WE FOUGHT HARD.THEY FOUGHT HARD."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"WE GAVE IT OUR ALL.THEY GAVE IT THEIR ALL.

"WE CAME TO PLAY.THEY CAME TO PLAY.

"BUT IN THE END,WE PULLED IT OUT.

GO, COUGARS.GO, COUGARS."

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WHAT --

WHAT --

WHAT HAVE I --WHAT HAVE I LEARNED, CHRIS?

NOTHING.

I SAW THE [BLEEP] GAME,YOU KNOW?

AND A LOT OF THESE GUYS AND MENAND WOMEN WENT TO COLLEGE,

AND WHERE ARE THE WELL-READATHLETES THAT WANT TO DRAW,

LIKE, LITERARY ALLUSIONSTO PLAYS, YOU KNOW,

TALK ABOUT THE GREAT BOOKS,YOU KNOW?

JUST ONCE, I'D LIKE TO SEE,"CHRIS, AT ONE POINT,

"YOU WERE TACKLED BY NO LESSTHAN FOUR MEN AT ONCE.

"WHEN YOU WERE LAYING UNDERTHAT PILE OF ANGRY GUYS,

WHAT WAS GOINGTHROUGH YOUR HEAD THEN?"

"OH, WELL, MAN,ANYONE THAT KNOWS ME

"KNOWS I'M A HUGE FANOF FRENCH LITERATURE.

"AND, UH...YOU KNOW,JEAN-PAUL SARTRE

"IN HIS MASTERWORK 'NO EXIT' --IT'S A FANTASTIC PLAY --

"HE PUT ACROSS THE IDEATHAT HELL COULD BE NOTHING MORE

"THAN THE COMPANY OF OURSELVES,

"AND AFTER LAYING UNDERTHOSE ANGRY MEN,

"I KNOW WHAT THAT FRENCH [BLEEP]TALKING ABOUT, MAN.

"[ CHUCKLES ]

"FRENCH LIT!

FRENCH LITERATURE!FRENCH LIT!"

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