Ted Cruz picks a running mate despite his dismal primary results, and Larry discusses Beyonce's visual album "Lemonade" with Chris Jackson, Ricky Velez and Franchesca Ramsey.
Thank you very much.Thank you.
You guys, thank you very much.
-Man, oh, man, oh, man.-(cheering, whooping)
Wel... Thank you.
Welcome to The Nightly Show.
I am Larry Wilmore.
Such a good crowd.Uh...
I know, man.You guys are on fire tonight.
-I love this crowd.-(cheering, applause)
This crowd... on fire.
I just... I just had to say,
I told the gentleman last nightin the Keep It 100
that I would kill himinstead of two Lakers,
and he's here tonightto be killed.
He was like...
Yeah. Shivam. Give youa lot of credit, Shivam.
You're... you're a brave man.You're a brave man, Shivam.
-You're a brave man.-(cheering, applause)
All right.Okay, let's get to it.
Now, before any candidate
can de-negrofyPennsylvania Avenue
they have to de-negrofyPennsylvania first.
So let's see what's happeningwith the Unblackening.
Favorite song. Oh...
There were two big winnersin Pennsylvania yesterday,
but also one big loser.
The criminal caseagainst Bill Cosby can resume
after a Pennsylvania courtblocked his appeal.
REPORTER: Cosby was trying to get the sexual assault case
thrown out because of a prior agreement with a prosecutor,
but an appeals court has rejected that argument.
That's right, (bleep).
-That's right.-(cheering, applause)
Even on Election Day
I still haven'tforgotten about you.
But I digress.Back to the election.
Okay, now... Trump's win, uh,
means that he's basicallygot it locked up.
But Ted Cruz still delusionallythinks he has a chance.
After a great dealof consideration and prayer...
I have come to the conclusion
that if I am nominated to bepresident of the Unitied States
that I will run...
on a ticket...
with my vut... vice presidentialnominee, Carly Fiorina.
You picked a running mate?
You're not the nominee.
Ladies and gentlemen,uh, I, Larry Wilmore,
would like to announcethat I have
just picked a running mate.Um...
I know, I know, I know I haven'tannounced I'm running yet,
but, uh, since Ted Cruz
only won three more delegatesthan I did yesterday,
I may as well pick one.
Uh, and my running mate,by the way, is Halle Berry.
-Thank you very much. Uh...-(cheering, applause)
Thank you. Larry-Halle.Yes, thank you.
I appreciate it.
Uh, Halle,I've made reservations
at the Sandals Resort so wecan with start our debate prep.
Just so you know.
Okay, well, here's the thing--okay, look,
at least Carly Fiorinais a serious policy person.
You know, she can balance outTed Cruz's creepiness.
♪ I know two girls
♪ That I just adore
♪ I'm so happy
♪ I can see them more
♪ 'Cause we travelon the bus all day ♪
♪ We get to play
♪ We get to play...
How hard is itto be (bleep) normal?
Can you... Look, uh, look,Carly, say anything you want,
just-just whateveryou want to do,
just don't singlike a creepy young girl
from a horror movie, okay?Just...
just stay away from that.
Ted Cruz also thought he'd creep out
the whole people of Indiana,
the Hoosier State,lovers of basketball,
by pretending that heshared their affections.
REPORTER: Instead he flubbed the word for "hoop".
CRUZ: You know, the amazingthing is that basketball ring
here in Indiana--it's the same height
as it is in New York City.
That's right, inbasketball-obsessed Indiana,
Ted Cruz called thisa "basketball ring".
that's like goingto the Adult Entertainment Expo
and calling this a (bleep) hoop.
Easy mistake. Easy mistake.
Uh... All right.
So for last night's contestwe knew going in
that Trump and Hillarywere going to win,
so there was no drama. But thatdidn't stop the networks
from desperatelytrying to convince us that
what we were watchingwas exciting.
And it is an exciting night.
It is an exciting night.
I love nights like this.
Brian Williams looks likehe's wishing he really did die
in that fake chopper explosion.
Oh, my God.
Okay, but-but look at what theytook for breaking news, okay?
"'Stop Trump' movement running out of time".
Rick Tyler? Those are just names.
That's not breaking news.
Okay, wait, hold on, I'm gettinga news alert, you guys.
Breaking news: Larry Wilmore.
Man, what monumental news.Do you-do you remember
where you werewhen Larry Wilmore?
Pepperidge Farm remembers.
CNN, on the other hand,CNN thought they could
fool people by insistingevery Tuesday is Super Tuesday.
Welcome to Super Tuesdaynumber four.
Super Tuesday Four.
It's Super Tuesday number four.
Super Tuesday number four.
It's Super Tuesday Four.
Super Tuesday Four.
Yeah, Super Tuesday Four--the characters you've grown
to hate back together againfor one last delegate heist.
CNN h... uh, had not onebut two tables of panelists
with nothing left to sayabout these candidates.
We're all sort of waiting to seewhich Donald Trump will show up.
I think there's one DonaldTrump, I'm sorry to say this,
but I think it's oneDonald Trump who sometimes
behaves one way and whosometimes behaves another way.
-And... -MAN: Likeeverybody else, I would add.
Um, I don't think anyone thought
there were actuallytwo physical Donald Trumps.
But thanksfor clearing that up, CNN.
I appreciate it.
Boy, Larry King must be rollingover in his grave, you guys.
I'm sorry, what's that?
Larry King is still alive?
Hey, MSNBC,here's your breaking news.
Right there. That's it.
Here to discuss his planon how to keep things exciting
in two political racesthat are now clearly over
is the news consultant for CNN,Clyde Wood.
(cheering and applause)
Nice to see you.Now, Clyde, how is CNN going
to keep things excitingnow that, you know, the races
-are pretty much allbut decided? -Whoa, whoa, Larry.
This thing is far from over, aswe said on last night's coverage
of Super Tuesday 4:the Awakening.
-Jesus, CNN. Super Tuesday 4:the Awakening? -Oh, yeah.
I thought there wasonly one Super Tuesday.
Really? Why don't you tell thatto next week's ST5,
Super Tuesday 5: More Superer!
Okay, please, enough withall this ridiculous technology.
CNN should just cover the news
and not resort to gimmicksto keep us interested.
-The countdown clocks and thenyou got holograms -Whoa. Whoa.
-and you got... What? What?-S-Slow down. Please, Larry.
We do not use hologramsanymore.
-That's not... -Okay.Good, good. That's a start.
We're doing somethingtotally better now, man.
We're doing Snapchatface transplanting technology.
It is... No, dude,it's off the charts.
-I mean, I can put anybody'sface on my body. -But...
-Check this out. Hold on.-All right.
Look, look. I'm Ted Cruz. Look.
How crazy is it?!Look, it's a new feature!
We don't... we don't haveto wait for the news to come in!
We can just make the news!Um, I'm-I'm Ted Cruz.
I'm running for president,and I will outlaw sex.
Ha, ha, ha!
You can't just make up news!
That's not your job!
Not even... not even, uh...not even a little bit?
We can't make up the newsa little bit, Larry, huh?
Not a little bit?You sure about that?
Hoof, huh? A little bitof news make-ups?
-Is that Robert De Niro?-The hoof.
-Come on now. -Paw. The foot,the paw, the hoof. Come on.
Hmm? You talkin' to me?Are you talkin' to me?
Yes, I'm talking to you.I'm talking to y...
Look, you'll never geta respectable CNN news anchor
-to do this ridiculous stuff.-You sure about that, Larry?
Because, uh... I'm Wolf Blitzer!
And I have no problemmaking up the news!
This just in, Ted Cruz's waron sex heats up.
You cannot get away with this!
-It's not news.-You can't get away with this.
I'm Larry Wilmore. Look at me.
-Hey... -I don't...I don't understand
how to make news great.(whines)
Hey, it's time to goto commercial,
um, 'cause I-I can't stopholding in this fart anymore.
MAN (over speaker):Okay, you got it, Larry.
-Thank you. To commercial. -No,no, Dre, don't listen to him!
-That's not me! That's...-Listen to me. It's my show.
-It's my show. Listen to me.-No... Damn it!
All right, we'll be right back.Fine. But it's not me.
How did you do that?It's not news.
Welcome back! Now,Beyoncé's visual album Lemonade
has caused quite a stiron the Internet,
sparking all sortsof controversies, think pieces,
and Twitter beefs. So hereto sort through all the drama
is Nightly Show ContributorFranchesca Ramsey
with her segment Hash It Out.
Thanks, Larry. Yep, this weekhas been all about Lemonade.
Beyoncé's new visual album isthe musical journey of a woman
scorned by her cheating husband.
Because as the saying goes,when life hands you lemons,
drag your (bleep)cheating husband
and collect your Grammys.
That is, before Kanye tries tocollect those Grammys for you.
Personally, I loved Lemonade.
But, obviously,when Beyoncé drops an album,
there's one personwe all want to hear from,
one oracle of wisdomwho can cut through the noise
and elevate this celebrationof black womanhood
to its proper place.I'm talking, of course,
about failed CNN hostPiers Morgan.
So, what did Piers Morganhave to say?
Let's take a lookat some of his tweets.
"To clarify, I love Beyoncéand Lemonade's a great album.
"I just didn't likethe politically/racially charged
video that went with it."
So Piers is madbecause the music video
for the song "Freedom"includes the mothers
of Trayvon Martin, Eric Garner,and Michael Brown.
It's a sad but powerful momentin a song
about overcoming the oddsand fighting for what's right.
And, apparently, advocatingfor black lives
gets Piers' knickers in a twist.
I said "knickers," you guys.
I'm not some sortof Piers Morgan over here.
His next tweet says,
"I've always been consistentlyagainst gun control.
"Beyoncé'ssuddenly turned political.
There's a difference." Sure,
you've consistently beenagainst gun control.
You've also consistently beena juice-- douche bag.
First off,music has always been political.
Ever heard of Bob Marleyor John Lennon
or Bill Clinton playing saxon Arsenio?
As far as I'm concerned,
Beyoncé's musichas always been political.
"Bills, Bills, Bills"was clearly about
raising the minimum wage.
"Single Ladies," the ultimatemarriage equality theme song.
"Crazy in Love" about fundingm-mental health infrastructure.
"Freakum Dress,"reforming tariffs on textiles
for clothing manufacturers.
And "Partition," well,that one's just about (bleep)
in a limousine.
(cheering and applause)
But as the Internet does,
people felt they neededto jump into the conversation
and cosign this foolishnesstotally uninvited.
"I agree with Piers Morgan.
"I'm black and I believeBeyoncé has exploited our race
"for album sales.
Let her prove she hasn'tby donating."
Um, prove it? How?
Oh, you mean like the millionsshe spent to help victims
of Hurricane Katrina?
Or her benefit concertsfor Haiti?
Or her contributions to bail outthe Black Lives Matter activists
in Ferguson and Baltimore.
Not to mentionall that stage time she donated
to Coldplayduring the Super Bowl.
(cheering and applause)
But back to Piers Morgan,
'cause, of course,he wasn't done.
"Am I even allowed to listento Beyoncé's new album
"given my white skin color?
I'm confused." Yeah.
Well, I'm confused by the wayBritish people spell "color."
And you can absolutely enjoy Lemonade. And you should.
But you also have to realizethat this album isn't about you.
That's why Beyoncé featuredan ultimate black girl squad
including Serena Williams.
If Lemonade was about you,Piers Morgan,
it would have been called Metamucil.
(laughter, applauseand cheering)
it's like if you try to weara pair of apple bottom jeans.
-(laughter)-Sure, you can get them on.
But without a big booty,they might not fit that well.
It doesn't meanthat you can't wear them,
but you're gonna havea hard time
feeling totally comfortable,
because they weren't createdfor your comfort.
So if you're cool with that,
then go aheadand get into formation.
And if you're not,then in the words of Beyoncé,
"Please, suck my balls."
(cheers and applause)
Franchesca Ramsey, everybody.
We'll be right back. Man. Whew!
All right, welcome back.I'm here with my panel.
First up-- Nightly Show contributor Ricky Velez.
(applause and cheering)
And Nightly Show contributorFranchesca Ramsey.
(applause and cheering)
And he plays George Washington
in the Broadway smash hit Hamilton--
Emmyand Grammy award-winning actor,
musician and composer,Chris Jackson.
(applause and cheering)
And for everyone at home, joinour conversation right now
on Twitter @NightlyShowusing the hashtag #Tonightly.
So, I want to talk aboutwhat you just talked about.
The whole controversy
surrounding Beyoncé's album Lemonade.
Some people are criticizing her
for getting all politicaland real,
saying she shouldleave that alone
and just stick to playing music.
While others are praising herfor making a stand.
So, why are people so upsetthat Beyoncé
is evolving as an artist?
Because it is 2016, andpeople love to bitch, Larry.
-Like, that's what it is.-(laughter)
If your biggest problemin 2016 is Beyoncé...
-WILMORE: Uh-huh.-...kill yourself.
(laughter, applauseand cheering)
-Oh. Oh.-Oh, no!
-Is that what it is? Do that?-It's that simple.
RAMSEY:Listen, I think the big thing is
that a lot of people felt likeBeyoncé was a safe black person.
-WILMORE: Uh-huh. Safe. -She'sgot light skin and blonde hair.
And they're like,"Oh, she's not gonna...
She's not got a 'fro, she's notgonna talk about black issues."
And then they got shookbecause they had to remember
-that she's actually black.-(applause and cheering)
-Right. -And that she can talkabout black (bleep).
Right. I like, uh...
It's like people think
there's some blackexpiration thing happening
where, like, it suddenlywakes up a black alarm clock
that goes offor something, right? Bing!
-All right. Well, (bleep),I'm gonna get black. -(laughter)
Do you think peopleare making too much of this?
I mean, what is your takeon this, Chris?
My take is that as long as youcall yourself an artist...
-WILMORE: Uh-huh. -...and aslong as you put things out
-in the world to be artisticand to say something... -Yeah.
...you better follow the passion
and follow the inspirationthat you have.
-Otherwise, you're not anartist. -RAMSEY: Yes.
-WILMORE: Right. Right.-VELEZ: I agree with that.
-Absolutely. -Oh, yeah.-(applause and cheering)
It's funny, 'cause people...people both want their artists
to evolve, then, they demand
that they stand stillat the same time.
What's so controversialabout her album anyway?
What is the thingthat people are finding?
-I-I... It blows my mind...-Yeah.
...that the controversy is
about her supportingBlack Lives Matter...
-WILMORE: Right. -...andstanding up for the mothers
-who've lost people to policeviolence. -WILMORE: Right.
I am more upset about the factthat Jay Z cheated on Beyoncé.
I don't under... Like, that'swhere my mind is. Like, wait.
-That's... -Uh-huh. -I don'tunderstand. This makes no sense.
That's my problemwith the album.
-(laughter)-Is it? The whole Jay Z thing?
Every time Beyoncé comes outwith a song about him cheating,
my girl walks aroundthe apartment like I did it.
It's (bleep) bull (bleep).
-(laughter, applause & cheering)-RAMSEY: It's true, though.
She's like, "I know. I knowwhat you are doing, Ricky."
-Yeah.-"I know. Jay's the same way."
I'm in a very happy... I'm ina very happy relationship.
-WILMORE: Sure. -And that albummade me almost break up
-with my husband.-WILMORE: It's unnerving, right.
I was like,"I don't need you in my life!"
-Right. -(laughter) -He waslike, "I didn't do anything."
I was like... it just...
WILMORE:She got out a baseball bat.
She said, uh... she talked aboutwearing another woman's skin.
That's like a Silence of the Lamb type of thing.
-(laughter)-VELEZ: But at the same time,
-you're datingan ex-drug dealer. -Right.
You don't want drug dealer(bleep) to happen,
don't marry one. I'm sorry.
I like when people sayshe transcends race.
-Well, what does that mean,you know? -RAMSEY: Wah-wah.
-I never understood that.-I think that's another thing
that white people sayto make people...
other white people comfortable.
WILMORE: Yeah.'Cause how can you trans...?
-I don't mind saying it.My mama's white. -Yeah.
-I'm just saying.-Right. But, uh...
Since-since when... sincewhen do we have to transcend
-anything other than being blackand having to deal -Yeah.
with the kinds of thingsthat only black people
-have to deal with?-Oh, 'cause you never would tell
a white person,"Man, you transcend race."
-Nope, you don't.-(laughter)
-WILMORE: He transcends race?-Eminem transcended...
-and it... I mean, come on...-WILMORE: I think Eminem
was poachin' race,not transcending race.
-(laughter)-You ever see a white kid
-with a do-rag on, Larry?-Thank you. Poachin'.
-Yeah, I hate the whole-VELEZ: Transcending.
"transcend race"conversation, too,
-Mm-hmm.-because at the end of the day,
-race is not the problem,racism is. -Mm-hmm.
And Beyoncé is still black,no matter whether
you feel comfortableseeing her as black or not.
And as soon as you sayyou have to transcend,
it means you're not seeing mefor who I am,
-because I'm black all the time.-Absolutely. Absolutely.
-(applause, cheering)-But I... I don't...
I don't... I-I think...
I think there was a conversationwhen Eminem came out,
but I don't thinkhe transcends anything.
I think he'sone of the illest rappers
in the history of the game,and I think that's why
-we love and appreciate himas much as we do. -Right.
I think that he didn't shy awayfrom the fact that he was white,
and everyone sort of, you know,paid attention to that at first,
but clearly, that brotherhas got game, and...
VELEZ: No, I agree he has game,but I think he also had to adapt
to... to...not being a white guy.
RAMSEY: But I thinkpart of his appeal was, like,
wow, this white dude can rap!
But even... but even so, he'sowned everything that he is.
Like, he's, like... I'm...Forget that I'm white.
I'm broke. I'm poor.
-(laughter)-You know what I mean?
I have it...I have it just as bad
as anyone elsewho is broke and poor,
and-- very much like our show--
I've written my wayout of my circumstance.
-WILMORE: Right.-I've figured out what I do,
-and I'm going to capitalize onthat no matter what. -(cheering)
And I... and-and morethan anything else, like,
if we... Can we stopreducing artists to just this
-or just that?-Yeah.
Well, that's whatBeyoncé said herself,
you know, that she wanted to beregarded as more than that.
And it's not that even she wantsto be regarded as...
as something--she's just making a statement,
you know, in what she's doing.
And some people--uh, let me ask you a question.
Do you thinkBeyoncé's big enough
that she can actuallychange people's minds?
'Cause she's, like,she's on a level that is rare,
-where she is right now in termsof popularity. -Absolutely.
I think people love celebrities.
Look, we have a reality TV starrunning for president!
-WILMORE: Right.-People love celebrities.
-Yeah.-And so if Beyoncé says...
takes a stand on somethingand people are inspired by it,
I would rather have a celebrity
who's advocatingfor Black Lives Matter
rather than (bleep)on Mexicans and Muslims,
telling people that, you know,
that's what they should becaring about.
-(cheering, applause)-WILMORE: Right.
-Absolutely. -WILMORE:Do you think there's a risk
when an artist takes a...controversial stand?
-Hopefully.-Oh, yeah, yeah. Right, exactly.
I think... I think great art
is supposed to costthe artist something.
-Yeah.-It's coming from the artist.
You can't get that back.
-Mm-hmm. -It's gonnatake something from you,
but hopefully, the conversation,the dialogue, the change in...
-Yeah. -what is happeningwill fill you back up.
Or you take a break,you read a book,
you go sit in a quiet meadowsomewhere and you figure out
what the next statement thatyou want to make is, you know.
But it's our job as artists--it's a responsibility
to say somethingthat is gonna effect change,
at least start a conversation.
And if we can get pastthe point of,
well, she shouldn't bean activist,
she shouldn't be black,she shouldn't be this--
she should be everythingthat God made her to be.
Please, just be that.
-(cheering, applause)-All right. -Be that.
Couldn't have said it better.
All right, we'll be right backright after this.
-(cheering, applause)-Very well said.
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