Wayne Brady & Tyrone Biggums's Fear Factor

  • Season 2, Ep 12
  • 04/07/2004

Dave gives up his show to Wayne Brady, and Tyrone Biggums returns as a guest on "Fear Factor."

I'M A COMPUTER PROGRAMMERFROM REDONDO BEACH,

AND I REFUSE TO LOSE.

- MY NAME IS RITA,I'M FROM IDAHO,

BUT TRUST ME,I AIN'T NO COUCH POTATO.

- I'M ANNE.I'M FROM BOSTON.

I PROMISED MY MOM

I WASN'T GOING TOEMBARRASS HER HERE TONIGHT.

- HUH?

OH.

HI, I'M TYRONE BIGGUMS.

I HEARD THATI COULD WIN A LOT OF MONEY

AND I GET A PIG TESTICLE DINNERWITH ALL THE FIXINGS.

YOU GOT TO PLAY TO WIN!

- HERE IS YOUR FIRST STUNT.

- WE GOT TO EAT THAT?I CAN'T EAT ALL OF IT.

- YOU WILL EACH HAVE TO LIEIN THIS COFFIN

COVERED WITH WORMS AND BUGS.

THE THREE OF YOUTHAT CAN LAST THE LONGEST

WILL MOVE ON TOTHE NEXT ROUND.

RITA, YOU'RE UP FIRST.CLIMB ON IN.

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TOADD A FEW MORE TO THE MIX.

- OH, JOE ROGAN,YOU CRAZY!

- GOD.

ONE OF THEM TRIEDTO CRAWL IN MY MOUTH!

- ONE MINUTEAND 42 SECONDS.

- LET ME JUST HELP YOU OUT,GET SOME ON HIM.

THERE YOU GO.

LOOK AT 'EM SPREADING.THEY SPREADING.

- FIVE MINUTESAND 42 SECONDS.

ANNE, IT'S ALL UP TO YOU.

LIE DOWN.

- [screams]

OH, GOD,THAT WAS GROSS.

- WOW.ALL RIGHT, TY.

- I'M GONNA TELL YOUSOMETHING ABOUT ME,

JOE ROGAN,THAT YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW.

I SMOKE ROCKS.

MMM!

YOU DID IT, TYRONE.

YOU SHATTERED JEFF'S TIME.YOU CAN COME ON OUT NOW, MAN.

- UM, JOE ROGAN,IF IT'S ALL THE SAME TO YOU,

I'D LIKE TO FINISHREADING MY NEWSPAPER.

I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE TOSIT STILL AND READ FOR SO LONG.

[chuckles]

- TECHNICALLY, YOU CAN STAYIN THERE AS LONG AS YOU WANT.

- YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINKI'M GONNA TAKE A NAP.

GO AHEAD WITHOUT ME.I'LL CATCH UP.

COULD YOU DIM THE LIGHTS,PLEASE, JOE ROGAN?

[farting]- UGH!

- [snoring]

[farts]CRACK.

- ALL RIGHT, IT'S TIMEFOR YOUR NEXT CHALLENGE:

WALKING ON HOT COALS.

SOME OF THESE COALS BURNAT OVER 1,000 DEGREES.

- GODDAMN!

- THE TWO PEOPLE THAT CAN SPENDTHE MOST TIME ON THOSE COALS

WILL ADVANCE.

ALL RIGHT, RITA,YOU'RE UP FIRST.

YOU READYTO DO THIS?

- YEAH.

- GO!

TIME:EIGHT SECONDS.

GO!COME ON, JEFF.

TIME:SEVEN SECONDS.

RITA, HE DIDN'T BEATYOUR TIME.

CONGRATULATIONS,YOU ADVANCE AUTOMATICALLY.

TYRONE,IT'S UP TO YOU NOW.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BEATJEFF'S TIME OF SEVEN SECONDS,

AND YOU WILLMOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND

AND BE THAT MUCH CLOSERTO $50,000.

- OH!

- TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF.LET'S DO IT.

WHOA.

TYRONE, I THINKTHERE'S SOMETHING WRONG

WITH ONE OF YOUR FEET.

- OH!

GO!

- HEY, JOE ROGAN,IS IT ALMOST LUNCHTIME?

'CAUSE I SMELLSOMEBODY COOKIN'.

SMELLS LIKE CAJUN STEAKS

WITH CATFISHAND FRIED PEPPERS.

MMM!

- TYRONE, ARE YOU OKAY?- HUH?

- Y-YOU WON,YOU BEAT JEFF'S TIME.

YOU ADVANCE TOTHE NEXT ROUND.

- MY FEET ARE STRONG.

[laughter and applause]

- ALL RIGHT, RITA, TYRONE,HERE IS YOUR FINAL STUNT.

EACH ONE OF THESE PLATTERS

CONTAINS OVER THREE POUNDSOF ELK PENIS

IN A LIGHT CREAMTESTICLE SAUCE.

IT'S TOPPED OFF WITHDICED PIG BLADDER.

FOR DESSERT,WE HAVE HORSE HOOVES.

WHOEVER CANEAT THE MOST

IS GONNA WALK AWAYWITH $50,000.

GO!

- HURRY UP, GIRL,I WANT TO DO MY TURN.

GRAB THAT PENIS.

SUCK THEM JUICES OFF.SUCK IT!

THAT'S IT.

MM-MMM!OH!

- [gagging]I CAN'T DO THIS.

- ARE YOU SURE?- MM-HMM.

- ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY,YOU'RE ELIMINATED.

ALL RIGHT, TY,IT'S UP TO YOU.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO

IS EAT A LITTLE BITAND YOU'RE THE CHAMP--

- AND YADDA, YADDA, YADDA.

MM-MMM!

YOU KNOW, JOE ROGAN,

THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIMEI'VE TASTED PENIS.

I'VE HAD SEVERALIN MY LINE OF WORK.

YOU TASTE PENISESALL THE TIME.

COCAINE ISA HELL OF A DRUG.

- TYRONE,YOU ARE OUR CHAMPION.

CONGRATULATIONS.

AND EVIDENTLY,FEAR IS NOT A FACTOR FOR YOU.

- FEAR IS NEVER A FACTOR,JOE ROGAN.

I'M TRYING TOGET SOME CRACK ROCKS.

TYRITA, I DID IT!

I WON!

COME DOWN ONTHESE PENISES WITH ME.

HOT SAUCE!

THERE YOU GO.PRETEND LIKE IT'S MINES.

TYRITA, THIS MONEY'S GONNACHANGE OUR LIVES FOREVER!

TYRITA, I CAN FINALLY MAKEAN HONEST WOMAN OUT OF YOU

AND GIVE YOU THAT ROCKYOU ALWAYS HAD YOUR EYE ON.

LOOK, TYRITA.

- OH, TYRONE,THIS'LL GET US HIGH FOR--

- HOURS, I KNOW.

BUT FIRST,MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

[classical music plays]

[cheers and applause]

- DAVE, I GOT TO TELL YOU, MAN,

I'M REALLY HAPPYTO BE HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

THIS IS NICE.

- OH, MAN,IT'S JUST BEEN GREAT, MAN.

- WELL, SAME HERE, MAN.

YOU BUSY WITH YOUR SHOW.I GOT MY STUFF.

THIS IS REALLY COOL.

- YEAH, MAN, YOU SEE,THAT'S THE THING

WITH BLACK ACTORS, MAN.

WE NEED TO JUST UNIFY.WE CAN'T JUST BE OUT LIKE--

- EXACTLY.

- HEY, HOLD UP, WAYNE,I THINK YOU PASSED OUR TURN.

THE RESTAURANT'SBACK THAT WAY.

- NAH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

RELAX.

- WHAT, YOU GOINGTO GET SOME WEED?

- [laughs]NO.

- YOU GONNA GET SOME WEED,HOLLA AT YOUR BOY.

I KNOW THE SPOT.

- HOLD ON.- ALL RIGHT.

- THERE HE IS.

BREAK YOURSELF, FOOL!

- AWW, SHIT,IT'S WAYNE BRADY, SON!

[gunfire]

- OH, SHIT!

OH, SHIT!

WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING?

- RIVERSIDE, MOTHAFUCKER!

- GODDAMN!

- [cackles]

- WHAT THE FUCKARE YOU DOING?

- DAVE, CALM DOWN.

- WHAT YOU MEAN, CALM DOWN?YOU JUST--

- DAVE, RELAX.- YOU JUST SHOT PEOPLE, WAYNE!

- DAVE, DAVE.- THOSE WERE PEOPLE YOU SHOT!

GODDAMN, MAN, YOU GOTA DAYTIME EMMY, NIGGER.

YOU AIN'T SUPPOSED TO BEDOIN' SHIT LIKE THIS.

- DAVE, YOU MAKING ME NERVOUS.

YOU MAKING ME THINKTHAT YOU GONNA SNITCH.

NOW, YOU'RE NOT GONNASNITCH, RIGHT?

- NO, MAN, COME ON, NOW,I AIN'T NO SNITCH.

- NOW, YOU SUREYOU'RE NOT GONNA SNITCH?

- IT'S ME, NIGGER,IT'S DAVE, BABY.

- MOTHERFUCKER,YOU GONNA SNITCH ON ME?

- YO, NIGGER, COME ON.IT'S ME, IT'S DAVE.

WE BLACK ACTORS, MAN,WE GOT TO STICK TOGETHER.

WE BLACK ACTORS.I AIN'T GONNA SNITCH ON YOU.

COME ON, IT'S ME, BABY.IT'S DAVE.

IT'S DAVE CHAPPELLE.IT'S YOUR BOY.

- OKAY.SORRY, MAN.

- I GOT TO GETSOME MONEY, MAN.

I GOT TO GO TO THE ATM.I DON'T HAVE NO MONEY.

- I'LL GET SOME MONEY.

ALL RIGHT,RIGHT HERE.

- WHERE'S THE ATM AT?

- WE AT IT.

HEY!

[car horn plays"La Cucaracha"]

- HEY, DADDY.

- HOES, DAVE.

DAVE, HOES.

- GOOD EVENING, BITCHES.

- WE DID GOOD TONIGHT.

- THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.

THAT'S--OH, THAT'S NICE.

HEY, BABY!

THANK YOU.

ALL RIGHT,MORE POWER TO ME.

[laughs]ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU, BABY.

OH--OH, RAQUEL,WHAT'S THIS?

MR. FRANKLIN'S LONELY.

HE'S--THERE'S ONLY--

- SORRY, DADDY.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN,"SORRY, DADDY?"

WHAT THE HELL DID--

IS WAYNE BRADYGONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?

I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET OUTOF THIS CAR AND CHOKE--

I'M NOT VIOLENT.I TRY NOT TO BE.

I'M A--YOU KNOW WHAT?

- WAYNE, COME ON, MAN.COME ON, WAYNE.

- NO, NO, NO, I'M GONNAGET OUTTA THIS CAR RIGHT NOW.

- COME ON, WILL YOU PLEASE--PLEASE, MAN?

COME ON, JUST--JUST LET IT SLIDE.

- [exhales]

YOU BETTER THANKDAVE CHAPPELLE.

GO AHEAD.

- THANK YOU, DAVE,AND I LIKE YOUR SHOW.

- RUN, BITCH!RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

GET SOME HELP!

I'M JUST PLAYING AROUND.YOU KNOW.

- OH, COME ON, MAN.

[cheers and applause on TV]

[phone ringing]

- HELLO?

- BIG BOI!

- UH, WHO'S CALLING?

- IT'S DAVE CHAPPELLE, MAN.

- [whispers]FUCK.

WHAT'S HAPPENING, DAVE?

- NOTHING, MAN.

UH, YOU KNOW, I GOTA BUNCH OF FREE TIME NOW.

FIGURE I'D CALL YOU UP.

MAYBE WE COULD GET TOGETHERAND HANG OUT.

- DAVE,I'M IN THE OPERATING ROOM,

UM, GETTING BACK SURGERY.

OH, NO.

WHERE'S THE ANESTHESIA?STOP.

- WELL, LOOK,I'M JUST SAYING,

MAYBE WE CAN GET TOGETHER.

MAYBE TOMORROW, I'LL COMEAND BRING SOME SOUP BY.

- TOMORROWMIGHT NOT BE GOOD.

TOMORROW--I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HOOKING UP

WITH DON CORNELIUS TOMORROW.

- ALL RIGHT.

- YEAH, WE PLAYING TENNIS, MAN.

- UM, WELL, YOU KNOW,I'M AROUND, MAN.

JUST GIVE ME A CALL.

- WE PLAYIN'ON THE MOON, BITCH.

PEACE.DON'T CALL ME NO MORE.

- WHAT?

I GOT TO CLEAR MY HEAD.

[sweet piano melody playing]

HEY, SON!

NICK CANNON?

OH!

WHAT YOU DOINGWITH NICK CANNON, BOY?

- I'M LIVING MY LIFE.

I TOLD YOU,NICK CANNON IS HILARIOUS.

I'M DONE WITH YOU, DAD.

- I'M HILARIOUS TOO.REMEMBER ME?

"I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!"

REMEMBER ME?

♪ DOO-DA-LIT DOO-DA-LIT,DOO-DA-LIT DOO ♪

♪ DOO-DA-LITDOO-DA-LIT-- ♪

THAT WAS ME, BABY!

- DAVE, I'M TRYINGTO FULFILL HIS NEEDS.

YOU KNOW, HE NEEDA WORKING ACTOR IN HIS LIFE.

UNDERSTAND, MAN,YOU DONE FELL OFF.

SHOULDN'T HAVE GAVE UPYOUR SHOW, DAWG.

- STILL GOT CHUCK E. CHEESE'S,HUH, LITTLE MAN?

- LEAVE MEAND MY NEW DADDY ALONE.

- I'M GONNAGET MY SHOW BACK NOW.

I'MA GET MY SHOW BACK!MY SHOW BACK!

[slow motion]MY SHOW BAAACK!

- 'CAUSE THISYOUR SHOW, MAN.

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