In this episode, the Chinese reveal a new weapon. What can be more dangerous than their fire drills? And President Bush is handing out pardons -- unless you're on death row, in Gitmo, or a Democrat. Then, my guest is Richard Haass of the Council on Foreign Relations. I assume that means how Nicolas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni do it. Remember the old adage: starve a cold, feed a fever, behead a zombie. This is The Colbert Report.