Kevin Hart Presents: Plastic Cup Boyz

  • Season 1, Ep 101
  • 04/11/2015

Joey Wells, Will "Spank" Horton and Na'im Lynn make up the Plastic Cup Boyz, who have opened for Kevin Hart for years and are now ready to step into the spotlight.

KEVIN: Yeah.

-Yo, dude, yougotta come out, man.

KEVIN: Why?

-Hey man, we gotta talkto you about something.

KEVIN: About what?

-Yo man, just comeout the goddamn door.

-I really don'tunderstand y'all.

Like y'all know how I am.

I like my space, man.

That's my alone time right now.

-Dude, Joey's beenacting weird, man.

-Ever since "RealHusbands," or "Hollywood,"

whatever that thing called,y'all won an Image Award.

-Weird how?

What are you talking about?

-You know how we used to makefun of his vests all the time?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, well he madea complete 180.

And I don't mean in a good way.

-OK.

You know what?

You guys sound like haters.

-Hm.

-I'm being honest with you.

Right now, you bothsound like haters.

And I, I thought thatwe were all friends.

I thought that we wereall on the same page

as far as keepingeach other afloat,

being uplifting gentlemen.

If that man wants to enjoythe fruits of his labor,

you let him.

He's good.

Leave Joey alone.

OK?-He good.

He good.

-I know he's good.

-OK.

Wait till you see this.

-See what?

-Uh, Joey?

-Hey, whoa, Spank-a-dank,slide it, slide it, slide it,

turned it out!

Turn out!

-Turn, turn up.

-Turn up too.

That's it.

-Yo Kev, got 'em up.

Two for you.

Two for my [bleep].

-Shake your hands?

What is that?

-Ooh, ooh.

-OK.

-Brought my thoughts.

-You're what?

OK.

-Ladies, turn it out.

-What the?

KEVIN: OK.

-Here we go.

KEVIN: Joey-- did Joey just makewhite girls twerk on command?

-Yeah, yeah.

They just twerked on command.

-Joey, you got a gold tooth now?

-Just take one these outand get it on your tooth.

-You're spending yourmoney on the wrong thing.

-Fruits of labor.

Fruits of labor.

-No, this, this, this is--I forgot how much this cost,

but it's a lot.

-Stop.

-Sorry?

-Joey, when, when, I'mtalking to you, can you--

-Turn out.

-Can you get the [bleep]hair out your eye?

Can you look atme, please, Joey?

Dude, what are you doing?-No, I'm ready for the special.

-No, no, Joey.

Look at me.

You're not aboutto embarrass me.

Get this off your damn head.

-Hey!

Hey, hey!

-Get your ass in here.-Hey, you can't go take my--

-Let me talk to you.

-Hey, y'all take thewig, and the white women,

and you get them outta here.

-Oh no!Not my white women!

-Joey, you going tolose the white women!

-Not my white women!

-All right.

That's my Joey right there.

You look good.

-No white women.

-No white women.

Go get 'em, Joey.

-All right.

-Leave me the [bleep]alone, please.

HOST: Coming all the wayfrom Fresno, California,

Anybody in herewatching "Hoarders?"

Anybody in herewatch "Hoarders?"

Oh, oh, this show is[bleep] amazing, ain't it?

Aw, let me tell yousomething. "Hoarders," make

you feel good about yourself.

Ah!

You can't believe a mother[bleep] live like this.

You can be in the middle ofcleaning up, and you gone stop.

No, no stop.

Stop!

Everybody stop!

Look at the dirty mother[bleep] right here.

No, no, no. [bleep] them dishes.

This bitch ain't washeddishes since the '90s.

Look at her.

But I tell you this.

Every time it gooff, I take some shit

out my house, every time.

I be like, naw, getthe shit out of here.

No, no. [bleep] that.

And they all say thesame thing, don't they?

They all act likethey don't know

how this shit got like this.

They all say it too.

They go, I-- I-- I-- I don'tknow how it got like this.

I was, I was 12, and,and my-- and someone

stole my puppy, Bubbles.

And I decided at thatmoment to never ever wash

again anything with Bubbles.

And, and now this is it.

You know.

And they alwayssay the same thing.

I don't know howit got like that.

And you looking at them.

You like, you're a liar.

The [bleep] night that youhad to sleep standing up,

there's too muchshit in your house.

-Live in a housewith a crazy woman.

Any of, any of y'all livewith a crazy woman, fellas?

No?

Oh, you with her right nowso you can't say nothing?

I feel ya.

Every man here livewith a crazy woman.

Anybody live with that crazywoman that talk shit about you

on the phones to hergirlfriend why you sitting

right the [bleep] there?

Yeah, let me tell you aboutthis dumb mother [bleep].

Want to go upstairswith this conversation?

Shit.

Talk about me for?

Goddamn.

How many of y'all scared ofthat crazy woman, fellas?

How many of y'all scared of her?

Yeah.

All right.

Your lady everask you a question

and you ain'tprepared to answer?

It could be asimple question too.

Hey, babe.

Can I hold your cell phone?

Phew, my cell phone?

Uh, what's wrongwith your cellphone?

It died.

Well, you want tohold my charger?

You can hold my charger.

You can hold your charger.

Charge your phone back upso you ain't got to worry

about my goddamn phone.

Did you ever let yourlady hold your phone

to make a phone call?

That's the longestconversation in the world.

You staring at her thewhole time, like, whoo,

how long they gonna be?

Shit, come on now.

Come on, now.

Shit, goddamn,high and by, bitch.

What the [bleep]?

She be walking around, giggly.You be fouling.

Come on baby, stop playing now.

How long you going to be?

Don't be closing doors and shit.

What you doing in there?

It's my goddamn phone.

Fellas, you ever leftyour phone at home

when you went off to work?

You will be late today.

'Cause you going back toget that goddamn phone.

You won't even make a U-turn.

I've aint' got time.

I'm going to reverseall the way back.

Goddamn.

I got to this goddamn phone.

If she go through this phone,this relationship is over.

That phone shit is real.

That's why we keepit on us 24/7.

You on your way to theshower, you butt as naked.

You've got that goddamn phonein your hand now, don't you?

Your lady yell out to you,don't you need a drying towel.

No I got an app on my phone.

It's going to blow dry me off.

I'm cool.

Some new shit just came out.

Mhm.

Yup.

You ain't gonna have achance to get to my phone.

Only time we ain'tgot our phone with us

is when it's on the charger.

And when it's on thecharger, it's always

face down like a [bleep].

You dont' want thatcaller ID to show.

You ever left it face upin the ringer at night?

That shit will shine on ceilinglike a goddamn projector.

She look up, who thehell is big titty Brenda?

Aw, shit.

Forgot to turn thegoddamn phone over.

This is a bitch.

I done snitched on myself.

Who in a good mood her tonight?

Anybody?

I'm in a good mood too.

Only problem with that iswhenever you in a good mood,

you always got somebodywanting to bring you down,

make you feel likeyou ain't shit, right?

[bleep] haters.

I'm on YouTube the otherday, watching my own videos,

'cause that's what I do.

I watch my own shit.

I was enjoying it, I said,this mother [bleep] funny.

Then I start readingthe comments.

I'm reading the comments, andthis dude was like, this mother

[bleep] look like a cat clock.

I looked in the mirror.

I was like, I do.

Like a [bleep] cat clock.

We are the Plastic Cup Boyz.You know why?

Because we [bleep] drink.

We like to drink.

Who drinking in here right now?

Yes.

I likes to get [bleep] up.

Fellas, if you in herewith a woman right now,

get her [bleep] up.

Get her drunk.

That's what-- I, I tryto get women [bleep] up.

Yes.

I'm not trying to rapeyou or nothing like that.

You know that littlespace right before.

You know what I'm talking about.

Trying to get them alittle [bleep] up for shit.

The only problem with thatis my tolerance ain't shit.

You ever got [bleep] up tryingto get somebody else [bleep]

up?

One more drink, bitch.

You sure?

It's not working.

The [bleep], did you eat alasagna before you came out?

This bitch is full.

I've been seeing this shitrecently where women will

be at the bar having a drink.

And then they'll get upand go to the bathroom.

And they put a napkinover the drink.

Anybody see this shit?

I'm like what the [bleep]you doing that for?

This girl told me shedid that so nobody

put anything in her drink.

I said oh, so you think I'mgoing to be sitting at the end

of the bar like,damn I can't wait

till she go to thebathroom so I could

put something in that drink.

You put a napkin over it,I'm gonna be like, goddamn.

This bitch is a genius.

I have been foiled by a napkin.

You know what I'mgoing with that napkin

if I really wanted todo something to you?

I'm going takethat shit and wipe

my fingerprints off the glass.

Thank you, stupid.