May 2, 2016 - Riki Lindhome

  • 05/02/2016

Franchesca Ramsey tackles a "Ghostbusters" backlash, and Larry examines Donald Trump's sexist criticism of Hillary Clinton with Riki Lindhome, Rory Albanese and Grace Parra.

How nice.Thank you very much!

Thank you!Thank you so much!

Thank you very much.

PEOPLE (chanting):Larry! Larry! Larry!

Thank you very much.Oh, man.

-So kind. -AUDIENCE:Larry! Larry! Larry! Larry!

-Thank you. Please have a seat.-Larry! Larry! Larry! Larry!

Thank you so much.Welcome to The Nightly Show.

So kind.Uh, I am Larry Wilmore.

Uh, so how was your weekend?

-(cheers and applause)-Okay.

-Um, mine was pretty good. Um...-(laughter)

I hosted a little dinner party,

uh, yeah, you know,with a few friends.

Uh, me, Don Lemon,the president.

-You know, um...-(laughter)

My boys, right?

And, uh, you know,I'm wrapping up my little speech

and giving the presidentsome props,

um, telling him how much...how much I appreciated him

being the first black president

and what that meant to me,right?

And then I buttoned itwith a little, um...

let's say, um... colloquialism.

So, Mr. President,if I'm going to keep it 100...

Yo Barry,you did it, my nigga.

-(laughter)-You did it.

Thank you very much!Good night.

(cheers and applause)

Now, now.

There was a lot of reactiononline.

(laughter)

Many people were upset about it,

and many people supported it.

Um, and like the presidenthimself, the reaction was mixed.

Oh, shoot.I did it again! I did.

-(laughter)I think I'm fine. Okay.

Don't make those jokes, Larry.Don't make those jokes.

Uh, now, look,seriously, though.

I completely understand

why people would be upsetabout that.

It's a very charged word.I get it.

But there was one particularcritique from across the pond

that brings upa very important distinction.

Uh, Piers Morgan,star of stage and screen.

(laughter and groaning)

Uh, yes, professionalBeyoncé-disliker. He...

-(laughter) -He... he quoted meas saying,

"Yo, Barry,you did it my n er!"

-Um, now hold on.-(laughter)

Are you saying I calledthe president a "nigger?"

Okay, that's horrible.

I would never do that.

Um, I believe I said,

"Yo, Barry, you did it,my nigg-ah."

There's a difference.

(laughter)

Piers, you did not properlyconjugate that slur.

-(laughter)-Okay?

-(cheers and applause)-Very important.

Very important.

"Nigger" is whatwhite people use to denigrate,

demeanand dehumanize black people.

And "nigga" is a termof endearment

some black people usebetween each other

to take back that power.

Now, you also saidin your article,

"Larry, you're not a n er,

and nor is Barack Obama."

I know!Stop calling us that!

-Stop it!-(laughter, applause & cheering)

Stop it!

Conjugate the slur! Okay?

(laughter)

And then also don't use it.Trust me on that, okay?

Don't do it.Don't do it, Piers.

All right, on that note,it's time to check in

and see what's happeningwith the Unblackening.

All right,so, this weekend just happened

to be the twenty-fourthanniversary

of the brutal 1992 Rodney Kingriots in Los Angeles.

All right, Donald Trump,

you got a lot of people togetherin California on Friday.

How did you celebrate it?

WOMAN: Chaos outside a Donald Trump rally.

WOMAN 2: Things really got out of hand

-at a campaign stop in California. -(shouting)

Donald, that is so thoughtful.

You know, the traditional gift

for a twenty-fourth anniversaryis a race riot.

-(laughter)-Don't you know that?

That's why it's so hardto make it to the twenty-fifth.

(laughter)

But still, according to Trump,

violence at his ralliesis nothing compared

to what America is facing

from its trade relationshipwith China.

We're like the piggy bankthat's being robbed.

We can't continue to allow Chinato rape our country,

and that's what they're doing.

It's the greatest theftin the history of the world.

Okay, um, actually,the greatest theft

in the history of the world wasthe Lufthansa heist,

followed by D.B. Cooper,

and then when Gru and thoseMinions stole the moon, okay?

-(laughter)-That's a...

And I'm not even countingthe cheaters

stealing the Super Bowlfrom the Seahawks.

-Not even counting that.-(audience groaning)

That's right!I went there! I went there!

-(cheers, applause & groaning)-Whoa. Whoa.

Now, of course,this isn't the first time

Trump has mentioned rapeto discuss his foreign policy.

When Mexico sends its people,they're not sending their best.

They're bringing drugs,they're bringing crime.

They're rapists.

Mm-hmm. Okay,so let me get this straight.

Trump believesthat China is raping exports,

while Mexico isexporting rapists?

I don't know what focus group

you're relying onfor your, uh, metaphors,

but whoever told you

that's the way to getthe swing vote was mistaken.

(laughter)

Yet, despitethese unsettling comments,

Trump is a lot more upsetabout a controversial comment

Secretary Clinton madeabout Trump last week.

I have a lot of experiencedealing with men

who sometimesget off the reservation

in the way they behaveand how they speak.

She used a certain word,certain type of men.

-Off the reservation.-Off the reservation.

Men that areoff the reservation.

And I said to myself,that's a horrible expression.

-Yes, yes.-(audience groaning, laughing)

It's true. It's true. The word"reservation" is horrible.

That's why when I calla restaurant for a table,

I always say,"Can I please make an "R" word?"

-(laughter)-I always do.

I recommend that.I recommend that.

Or an "R, star, star, star,star, star, star, star, star,

-"O," "N."(laughter, applause & cheering)

That enough stars?Something like that.

All right.

Actually... this is so horrible.

Actually, I have to give creditto Trump here,

um, which is somethingI said I'd never do,

like download TIDAL.

-(laughter)-Mm-hmm.

I'm really breaking my promisesthis week, you guys.

But using uh,"Get off the reservation"

as an insult is very offensiveto Native Americans.

Um, isn't that right, Trump?

That's a very demeaning remarkto men, in my opinion.

(laughter and groaning)

Demeaning to men?!

Yeah, men have itso hard in this country,

especially orange men.

(laughter)

Come on, Trump!

Tell meyou at least have some idea

that Hillary's comment might beoffensive to Native Americans.

How disconnected can you be?

TRUMP:I won't even bring up the fact

that the Indians have gone wildon that statement.

You know that, okay?

Okay, that'sreally disconnected.

And by the way, Indians Gone Wild--

one of the more underratedspring break videos ever.

-(laughter)-More underrated...

Too... too soon?

It's too soon for meto make those jokes right now.

Okay. What jokes can I make?!

(frustrated grunt)

Okay, here to explain his mostrecent incendiary comments,

please welcomeGOP presidential frontrunner

-Donald Trump, everybody.-(cheering, applause)

-Hey, Donald.-Thank you, thank you,

and congratulationsfor having me on your show.

And congratulations, Larry--credit where credit is due.

You did an unbelievable jobSaturday night.

Oh. Wow.

Uh... thanks?

I-I mean, I thought maybe you'dcome on and say something rude

-like you always do.-No, not tonight, Larry.

-Oh.-I mean, you and me, buddy,

we're the same-- brothers.

Really, it was fantastic.

-(laughter)-Um...

Wait, no, no, no, no, no.

We're-we'redefinitely not the same.

Sure we are.No, we're brothers.

I mean,from a different mother--

except mine wasn't black.

Okay, this is startingto make me very uncomfortable.

Not as uncomfortableas the media Saturday night.

I mean, that was fantastic.I mean, you killed.

I mean, those poor bastards,I mean, they really are poor.

I mean, so sad.They all dress like hobos.

-I mean...-I didn't...

you slayed them, and I haven'tseen a black destroy like that

since the Baltimore riots.

-I mean...-(audience groans)

-you left that room like a CVS,you really did. -Wait.

-Unbelievable.-No. Hold on a second.

Now, first of all,I was just joking.

I did itin the spirit of a roast.

I mean, it was all in good fun,you know?

But this isthe big leagues, Larry.

Sometimes you haveto get your hands dirty.

But your inciting violencewith your rhetoric...

-I'm so proud of you.-Wait... -(laughter)

-(applause)-What?

No, no, no, no, no.

Violence?I did not incite violence!

Yes, you did.

Look what happenedafter your speech. A fight.

I mean, that's a signof a good, divisive speech.

-I mean come on.-Wait. Hold on, hold on.

I didn't start... I...I feel like we have

different standards of whatwe think was a good night.

No, no. Wilmore and Trump--exactly the same now.

-No, no, no, no.-Sympatico. Really.

-Wait.-I can't even tell

where my regular,normal skin ends

and whereyour black skin begins.

-What are you...!-(laughter)

Okay, that's horrible.And we're not close!

We couldn't be further apart.

You used the N word on Obama.

I mean, come on.So bold, so courageous.

Such a terrific choice.

-Well...-And personally...

I was gonna wait untilmy inauguration to do that,

-Okay, that's terrible.-but you beat me to it.

That is terrible. This...this is... this is horrible.

This is notwhat I intended at all.

I can't believe it turned outlike this. You're awful!

-No, Larry, we're awful.-We are not awful!

We're not in the same boat.

Listen, what are you doingthe next four years?

-Why?-I'm gonna need a running mate

who will appeal to the blacks.

Okay, no, thanks.No, thanks. No, no, no.

We're not alike.Donald Trump, everybody.

-We'll be right back. Oh!-(cheering, applause)

That's horrible!

All right, welcome back!

Now, social mediais the one thing

that loves to hate us almostas much as we love to hate it.

So here to sort throughthis week's online smackdowns

is Nightly Show contributorFranchesca Ramsey

with her segment, "Hash It Out."

-♪ -(cheering, applause)

Thanks, Larry. This weekone movie trailer became

the most dislikedin YouTube history.

So, was it The Human Centipede, Gigli,

or The Hateful Eight?

I mean, Tarantino dropsthe N word more than Larry does.

-(laughter) -Nope.It's the new female-fronted

Ghostbusters trailer--because the Internet

is afraid of womenwho ain't afraid of no ghosts.

So, let's take a lookat some of the YouTube comments.

As a women, I feel attacked

when you don't proofreadyour comments.

Here's one.

A "classical movie"?

(laughter)

It's not Beethoven or...

even Beethoven.

Sure, the original was funny...

but let's be real--

Ghostbusters was made purelyas a vehicle for Dan Aykroyd

to get a blowjobfrom a sexy lady ghost.

(exhales)

And as far as I'm concerned,

if Leslie Jones doesn't gether carpet munched by a ghost

in the new movie,

I'm gonna be so pissed off!

(laughter, applause, whooping)

Come on.

Seriously.

Why wasn't that in the trailer?

Or this.

Ah, yes.

Because women busting ghosts

is way more unbelievablethan the actual existence

of (bleep) ghosts!

(laughter)

(applause)

Do you really think

that women can't dealwith scary stuff?

Because we deal with scary stuffevery single day.

Walking past construction sites.

Walking to your carlate at night.

Walking through Comic Con asa fully clothed Princess Leia.

-(laughter)-Forget construction sites--

that (bleep) terrifying.

And how about this.

Black Rocky?I've got bad news for you, sir--

it was called Creed and it was awesome.

(cheering, applause)

And if you thinka trans Indiana Jones

is gonna ruin the franchise,might I remind you

of a little film called Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

-(laughter) -And why doespolitical correctness come up

when women happento be in genres

that have excluded usin the past?

I thought nerds were supposedto be underdogs, not bullies.

This is likeif Captain America beat up

scrawny pre-Captain AmericaSteven Rogers,

or if your local Dungeon Master

suddenly madeall the players unicorn riders

or Arctic druidsfor no good reason.

Give Ghostbusters a chance.

Maybe it'll be good,maybe it'll be bad,

but it's not the factthat it's women

that will make it that way.

Just look at Batman v Superman.

You guys destroyed that oneall on your own.

(laughter, cheering, applause)

Yeah! Franchesca Ramsey,everyone!

We'll be right back! Whoo!

(cheering, applause)

Okay, welcome back.I'm here with panel.

First up, Nightly Show contributor Rory Albanese.

(cheering, applause)

And Nightly Show contributor Grace Parra.

(cheering, applause)

And you can see herin the Garfunkel and Oates

comedy special Trying to be Special available on Vimeo

on May 5 and in season twoof Another Period

starting June 15on Comedy Central,

actress and comedianRiki Lindhome.

(cheering, applause)

And for everyone at home,join our conversation right now

on Twitter-- @NightlyShowusing #Tonightly.

Okay, so, last week,uh, Donald Trump,

uh, said thisabout Hillary Clinton.

Well, I think the only cardshe has is the woman's card.

She's got nothing else going.And, frankly,

if Hillary Clinton were a man

I don't think she'd getfive percent of the vote.

The only thing she's got goingis the woman's card.

-Okay. Um...-(panelists laughing)

So, when Trump says"playing the woman's card"...

what does that even mean?

Well, okay, I-I thinkhe's trying to come to terms

with the fact that women are themajority of the electorate, and

70% of us hate him.

Want to boil his ballsin a vat of oil.

-(cheering, applause) -Andthat-that crosses party lines.

-A vat.-We hate him. A vat of it, yeah.

Yeah. I think he's justtrying to come to terms

with his dislikability, yes.

-I actually brought a woman'scard with me. -Oh. -Oh!

-Oh, that's, uh, that'sfrom Hillary, right? -Yeah.

-This is the... this is thecard. -That's the actual one,

-right? Yeah.-Yeah, yeah. I-I brought one.

-And it actually worksfor a lot of things. -Okay.

Um, I get maternity leavein every country but this one.

-Oh. -Yeah.-So that's good.

-Yes. -I can use any bathroomin North Carolina.

-'Cause I'm non-threatening.-Good. Okay. -Mm-hmm.

PARRA: You can earn78 cents to the dollar.

-Yeah. -Yes. Which is wonderful.-Yeah.

It doesn't sound likethat's all that great, then.

Oh, well, I feel like one of youmen should explain it to me.

'Cause I don't get it.

Oh. Okay.

-So... -Uh, when-whenis it a... when is it a card

and when is it justtelling the truth, you know?

I don't-I don'tunderstand the card thing.

'Cause that keeps coming up.The race card, the woman card.

It's like, we're notplaying Magic: The Gathering.

I don't get it. It's like,we're trying to get a president.

-It doesn't make any sense.-Yeah. -Right.

-Uh, Cards Against Humanity.-Yeah, well... I...

Without a doubt,that's what Trump is playing.

-Yeah. -Yeah.-Yes.

-That's a fact.-Um...

Yeah, I-I don't know.I... It feels like the...

the idea of Hillaryplaying the woman card is like,

-she's a woman. I-I don'tunderstand. -Yeah, yeah.

-Like, that's just-justwhat she is, so...

And it has been for everyfemale president... Oh, wait.

-Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. -Right.-No. Yeah. Right.

No, but, yeah, that's the thing,too, is that idea of, like,

it's an advantage.And you're going, "What?"

They're... People haven'teven come close.

-Nope.-You know what I mean?

Someone actually said in '08,"Well, if-if Obama

hadn't have been black,he wouldn't be president." What?

-What? -Yeah, yeah.-It's like, how come

-we didn't know this before,you know? -Yeah, exactly.

-That was the secret?-ALBANESE: That was it, yeah.

Just... All you had to dowas run. Just run, yeah.

I don't understand this--I don't understand why advocacy

for a positionis playing a card. You know?

Or courseHillary's gonna be, uh,

advocating for women's rights.She's been advocating for that

for a long time.But anybody on that side

is gonna be advocating that.Why does she have to be playing

the woman cardif she's advocating?

Well, you know, I do-I do thinkthere have been instances

this electionwhere it's gone too far.

Like with Madeleine Albrightand Gloria Steinem,

some things they've said havejust been like, "Vote for her,

she's a woman, vote for her",and it's like, okay...

-That would be playing the womancard. -That's playing

the woman card. Although I willadmit to playing the woman card

when I need furniture moved.

-Yes. -All right. -These arms--they're pretty atrophied.

And I would-and I would,uh, very quickly deny that card.

Yes. Yes. I use this cardto get out of camping.

-Oh. -Oh, that's a good one.-Yeah, yeah.

How does... how do you get outof camping with the card?

I just can. I don't know.I don't know how I...

-Oh, is that how you do it?-I get so cold.

-I never peed outside.-Yeah, I don't-I don't know

-where to pee, I get so cold.-You're supposed to squat

-or something? -And I havemy period. It's all so hard.

-Yeah. It's a mess.-Come on.

It happens. It's, like,a fourth of our lives.

-It's fine.-Do you think the...

Uh... some peoplefeel like when you pick...

Like, some people feel like JohnMcCain was using the woman card

when he picked Palin.I thought he was just

-playing the crazy card. -Oh,yeah. -Mm-hmm. That's accurate.

-Um... -I think hethought using the woman card,

and he was like,"I've released the kraken!"

Like, "What? What have I done?!

"What? How do we put her...

-how do we put her backin the cage?" -Push it back in.

Is Ted Cruz playing the womancard by picking Carly Fiorina?

It doesn't matter what he does.He's not gonna win over women.

-His own daughter hates him,and she's, like, five. -Yeah.

You know? So...I mean, he already...

he's-he's already turned her offjust by living with her.

You know what I mean?It's like...

Now, you have a hilarious songcalled...

-Is it called "Pregnant Womenare Smug"? -Yes.

-So are you saying... -That is the woman card.

-are you saying pregnant womenplay the woman card? -Yeah.

-Okay, how do they do that?-They play

-the pregnant woman card.-Okay.

Because it's like...They just, like, get

a little, like, magicaland, like, a little precious.

And they're just like...I don't know.

Like, they get magnanimous,where they're like, "Oh,

I don't care if it's a boy orgirl as long as it's healthy."

And it's like of courseyou want it to be healthy.

No one asked you to pick.Like, health or a penis? Choose.

-Right.-It's like it's unrelated.

But they just use termslike that that make them feel

so good. And you're like,"Everyone on Earth

-feels that way."That's... Yeah. -Right.

But I don't know, 'cause if youasked a man health or a penis,

I think they'd pick penisevery time.

Um, but I feel like the pregnantthing is totally legit.

-Like, I think pregnant womenare... -Sure.

-I-I would do anything to helpa pregnant woman. -Yeah. Right.

-'Cause it's...Like on the subway. -Mm-hmm.

Like, I get tired... I'll becarrying, like, a water around.

I'm like, "My quads areburning," you know what I mean?

They're carrying, like...they're carrying human life

in their body. I'm like,"What can I do to help you?"

You know? It's like I feel verymuch like that card is-is...

I don't even knowif it's a card. It's just like,

-"Well, please be careful."-Right. -One time my period

was late and, uh,I was, uh, at a pharmacy

and I decided to parkin the pregnant women's spot,

just because I didn't know!And then the period came

the next day. I was fine.

There's a pregnant women's spot?

-Yeah. -What?-I had no idea that exists.

I didn't even know... Is it sameas being handicapped?

-Yeah. -You can park in the...Oh, okay.

-It's like a "baby on board"spot. -Oh. -Worst thing ever,

I remember, uh,when we had our first child,

and I was watchinga video of it once.

And, uh, my wife was getting outof the car with our son.

You know, and I'm like,"Oh, honey, yeah, we're going

to the car, we're goingto the car." And I'm like,

"Oh, (bleep).Why am I not carrying my son?"

I'm like, "Who's the... who'sthe asshole taking that video?"

-Oh, my God. -Well, wait,hold on, in your defense,

back then, video cameraswere, like, this big, you know?

Absolutely not. I shouldnot have been videoing that.

It was so horrible.What are you gonna do?

I should have playedthe woman card.

Well, the best partabout being pregnant is you...

no one can prove you wrong.If you're like,

"My ankles hurt. I can't stand,"you're not gonna be like,

"No, they don't. Yes, you can."Like, you're just like,

-"Okay. All right. Yeah."-"I'm just not showing yet.

-Trust me." -Yeah. Yeah."Okay. Sorry. Sorry." Yeah.

Okay. We'll be right back.

YARD: If you live in the New York City area or are planning

to visit, grab free tickets to The Nightly Show.

Thanks to my panelists,Rory Albanese, Grace Parra,

and Riki Lindhome. Andspecial thanks to Bob DiBuono

as Donald Trumpfor being here tonight!

All right, so we're almost outof time, but before we go,

I'm gonna keep it 100.Tonight's question

is from an audience membernamed Jessica.

All right, let's take a look.

Hey, Larry. There are two womenleft on Earth,

and you have to repopulatethe planet with one of them,

Kim Davis or Paula Deen.

Which one do you pick?Keep it 100.

Oh, my God.

Um, oh,it's got to be Paula Deen.

That woman can cook, at least.

-That's the right answer.-Yes. Yes.

It'd be awesome.All the biscuits and everything.

Okay, uh, thanks for watching.I can't believe I said that.

Good Nightly, everyone!

Good Nightly!

-♪ -(cheering and applause)