Space Jump II

  • Season 1, Ep 8
  • 12/19/2013

Kevin Barnett, Esther Povitsky and Byron Bowers do sets, and Super Steve skydives into the party.

THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCHFOR DOING THE SHOW.

THIS IS GONNA BE HISTORYIN THE MAKING.

IT'S GONNA BE LIKE WOODSTOCK '99IN THIS BITCH.

- DIDN'T EVERYTHINGBURN DOWN IN WOODSTOCK '99?

- YEAH, THEY HAD,LIKE, A BUNCH OF RAPES.

- YEAH. I WAS THERE.IT WAS REALLY BAD.

- YEAH, WELL, THERE'S GONNA BE,LIKE, LESS FIRES AND LESS RAPES.

BUT, YOU KNOW,STILL GONNA BE KICK-ASS.

WE HAVE A MOON BOUNCEOVER THERE.

SO WE GET A GUYFALLING FROM OUTER SPACE

HE'S GONNA LAND RIGHT HEREIN THIS BULL'S-EYE RIGHT HERE.

JESUS CHRIST.

COME ON!- HELL, YEAH.

- ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?

- I AM.

WHAT'S UP?

I BEEN THINKINGABOUT DYING LATELY.

IN A POSITIVE WAY.

FEEL LIKE THIS WOULD BEA GOOD TIME TO DO IT, NOW,

WHILE, LIKE, YOU KNOW,THIS IS WHAT I'M KNOWN FOR.

LIKE, THIS ISWHAT DEFINES ME.

'CAUSE WHO KNOWSWHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?

LIKE, IF I DIED TONIGHT,

ALL THE NEWS STORIES THAT WOULDCOME OUT WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL.

BE LIKE, "COMEDIAN KEVIN BARNETTWAS KILLED LAST NIGHT.

"HE WAS A GREAT YOUNG COMIC.

COULD'VE BEENTHE NEXT BIG THING."

ALL TYPES OF FOOLISHNESSLIKE THAT.

BUT IF I DIE 10, 20 YEARSFROM NOW, WHO KNOWS?

THERE'S POTENTIALTO BE, LIKE,

"WALMART EMPLOYEE KEVIN BARNETTWAS MURDERED LAST NIGHT.

"FELLOW EMPLOYEES DESCRIBED HIMAS AN INCREDIBLY LONELY MAN

"WHO COMPLAINEDWHEN HE WASN'T ALLOWED

TO BRING CATS ON THE BUS."

I FEEL LIKETHAT AIN'T THE LEGACY

I'M TRYINGTO LEAVE BEHIND, YO.

I USED TO THINK I WOULD LIVEFOR A LONG-ASS TIME,

GIVEN THE WAYTHAT MEDICINE WAS ADVANCING.

BUT THEN I REALIZEDTHAT DUE TO MY COMPLETE REFUSAL

TO BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF,I'M GONNA DIE,

AND YOUNG, OF SOME STUFF THATDOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANY MORE.

PEOPLE GONNA BE LIKE,"MAN, YOU HEARD KEVIN DIED?"

LIKE, "KEVIN DIED? HOW?"

"TSK. SCURVY."

MY LAST WORDS ARE LITERALLYGONNA BE, LIKE,

"NAH, SON.THEY AIN'T GONNA HUSTLE ME.

THE PRICE OF CITRUSTHESE DAYS IS RIDICULOUS."

[chuckles]I'M FROM FLORIDA.

I WAS DOWN THEREA LITTLE BIT AGO.

I WAS ON THE BEACH,AND THIS GIRL WALKED BY.

SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL.AND I WAS SMITTEN.

AND I DON'T NORMALLYJUST GO UP TO GIRLS

AND HOLLER AT THEMOUT OF THE BLUE,

BUT THIS GIRL,SHE WAS SO FINE,

I FELT LIKE I HAD TO GO UPTO HER AND SAY SOMETHING NICE.

SO I WALKED UP.I WAS LIKE, "'EY, LOOK.

"I JUST WANTTO LET YOU KNOW...

YOU THE TYPE OF BITCH I'DTAKE OUT TO DINNER AND RESPECT."

AND SHE WAS LIKE,"YOU CALLED ME A BITCH?"

AND SHE SHOVED MEAND WALKED AWAY.

I WAS LIKE, "BITCH,I SAID I RESPECT YOU!"

AND THAT'S JUST THE PROBLEMWITH THESE HOS TODAY

IS THAT YOU TRYTO BE NICE...

[chuckles]

I WAS WATCHING THIS DOCUMENTARYON RACISM THE OTHER DAY.

'CAUSE, YOU KNOW,I LIKE TO MAKE SURE I STAY MAD!

AND IT GOT ME THINKINGABOUT THAT MOVIE DJANGO, RIGHT?

I LOVED THE MOVIE,BUT THIS IS WHAT I DID DO.

I WENT TO GO SEE THE MOVIE WITHMY DAD AND MY LITTLE BROTHER.

AND WHAT WE DID ISWE WENT INTO THE THEATER

AND SAT REALLY CLOSETO WHITE PEOPLE

AND ACTED LIKE WE HATED IT.

SO IT WAS A GOOD TIME, MAN.

WE BONDED.THAT WAS FAMILY TIME.

FAMILY SWAG! RIGHT THERE.THERE WE GO. [chuckles]

- WHOO![scattered applause]

THE OTHER DAY I OVERHEARD

WHAT WAS PROBABLYTHE DUMBEST CONVERSATION

I'VE EVER HEARDIN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

THE WORST PART ABOUT IT WASTHE PEOPLE SHE WAS TALKING TO,

THEY WERE WITH HERON THE STUFF SHE WAS SAYING.

SHE WAS LIKE, "GIRL, YOU KNOWWHAT I HEARD THE OTHER DAY?

"GIRL, YOU KNOW WHATI HEARD THE OTHER DAY?

"I HEARD THEM PEOPLEOUT IN FIJI,

"THEY BE THIRSTY 'CAUSE WEDRINKING UP ALL THEY WATER.

"THE WATER BOTTLES WE BUY,THAT'S THEY ONLY WATER.

"THEY THIRSTYOUT THERE, GIRL.

THEY DON'T GOTNOTHING TO DRINK."

I THOUGHT THAT WASAS BAD AS IT GOT,

BUT THE GIRL,SHE KEPT GOING.

SHE WAS LIKE, "ALSO,YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD?

"I HEARD THAT ORIGINALLY,BACK IN THE DAY, NOW,

"ORIGINALLYEVERYBODY WAS BLACK.

"AND WHEN THEMWHITE PEOPLE CAME AROUND,

"IT WAS BECAUSE OF MUTATION.

"SO BASICALLY,ALL THEM WHITE PEOPLE YOU SEE,

"ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE YOU SEEWALKING AROUND THE STREETS--

"THEY MUTANTS.THEY NOT NORMAL.

"THEY MIGHT AS WELLJOIN THE X-MEN.

THEY AIN'TSUPPOSED TO BE HERE."

AND IT'S ALWAYSTHE MOST IGNORANT PEOPLE

THAT ARE THE LOUDEST.

AND PEOPLE THAT AREN'TIGNORANT LIKE THAT,

WE'RE NOT LOUD LIKE THAT.

SO MAYBE YOU WANTTO RUN AROUND BEING LOUD

ABOUT STUFF THAT WASCOMPLETELY REASONABLE.

LIKE, BE OUT IN THE STREETS,LIKE, "EY, MAN, EY! EY!

"MAN, WHY DIDN'T I SEE YOUAT THE LAB THE OTHER DAY?

"[bleep], WE WERECENTRIFUGING CANCER CELLS!

"YOU GONNA BE BEHINDON YOUR RESEARCH.

"MY [bleep], YOU KNOW YOUCAN'T BE DOING BULGARIAN SQUATS

"WHEN YOU GOT A LATERALMENISCUS TEAR, MAN.

"THAT TYPE OF MOTIONIS CONTRAINDICATIVE

"TO THE CURRENT STATEOF YOUR JOINTS.

"[bleep],YOU KEEP DOING THAT,

"YOU'RE GONNA END UPWITH PREMATURE ARTHRITIS.

"I MEAN, WHEN WASTHE LAST TIME YOU READ

"THE NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE, [bleep]?

YOU KNOW THAT SHITCOMES OUT BI-WEEKLY!"

THANKS A LOT, YO.KEVIN BARNETT. HEY.

THREE, TWO, ONE!

AAGH!

- IS HE LANDING RIGHT NOW?

- NO, NO.THAT IS JUST PRACTICE.

BUT THAT'S THE KIND OF ENERGYWE NEED, RIGHT?

- TALK ABOUT IT, YEAH.

- JEFF ROSS ISN'T GONNAHAVE A SPACE JUMP.

- [bleep] JEFF ROSS!- YEAH, [bleep] JEFF ROSS!

JEFF ROSS ISN'T GONNA HAVETHIS PALPABLE ENERGY.

JEFF ROSSISN'T GONNA HAVE...

A COUPLE HAVING SEXON MY AIR HOCKEY TABLE.

WHAT THE [bleep]?

WHAT DO YOU THINKTHEY CALL THAT MOVE?

- THAT'S THAT BUZZ ALDRIN, DUDE.- MM-HMM.

- HMM.- KEEPING IT HIGH AND TIGHT.

- MOON LANDING.

- UGH, GROSS.

- KILLER FORM,THOUGH, RIGHT?

- YEAH. KILLER FORM.

IT'S JUST SOMEONEIN THE OTHER ROOM

IS TALKING ABOUTBEING A VEGAN.

- EW.

- VEGAN?- YUCK.

- DISGUSTING.- YEAH.

- THAT'S [bleep] NASTY.- MM-HMM.

- OH, HONEY,YOU HAVE KILLER FORM,

BUT YOU'RE GONNAGET A TABLE BURN.

- GOOD LOOKING OUT.

I'M HALF JEWISHHALF REGULAR

AND, UH, I'VE BEEN STRUGGLINGA LOT WITH FIGURING OUT

WHERE I STANDON THE ATTRACTIVENESS SCALE.

AND I'VE REALIZED I AM

A SEVEN OUT OF TENIN THE MIDWEST.

UM, I'M, LIKE, A SIXON THE EAST COAST.

AND THEN HEREIN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA,

I'M A COCKER SPANIEL.

A LOT OF PEOPLE,WHEN THEY FIRST MEET ME,

THEY'RE LIKE, "OH, MYGOD, ESTHER, YOU'RE SO YOUNG.

YOU'RE, LIKE,12 YEARS OLD."

I'M LIKE, "EXCUSE ME, UM,

"DO REAL 12-YEAR-OLDSHAVE MUSTACHES?

"NO, THEY DON'T, OKAY?

"I DO. THANK YOU.

I'VE BEEN USING MY FATHER'SRAZOR FOR YEARS."

HOWEVER, I DON'T REALLY GROOM,NECESSARILY, MY WHOLE BODY.

I HAVE LEG HAIRALL OVER MY LEGS.

I HAVE LEG HAIRALL OVER MY CHEST.

IT'S JUST--IT'S NOTA BIG DEAL TO ME.

I FEEL LIKE ONCE WE'RE ON A DATEAND WE'RE NAKED TOGETHER,

WHERE ARE YOU GONNA GO?YOU KNOW?

YOU'VE PASSEDTHE POINT OF NO RETURN.

ACTUALLY, I'M PRETTY SUREYOU CROSSED THAT LINE

WHEN YOU BOUGHT ME A BROWNIESUNDAE AT RUBY TUESDAY'S.

YOU'RE IN IT TO WIN IT.[purrs]

I DO HAVE AN EATING DISORDER.I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S CALLED.

IT'S NOT ANOREXIA,

'CAUSE THAT WOULDMAKE ME SO HOT.

IT'S NOT BULIMIA, 'CAUSE I WOULDNEVER THROW MY FOOD UP,

'CAUSE ONCE YOU THROW IT UP,

YOU CAN NEVER EAT IT AGAIN,AND THAT'S CRAZY.

WHAT'S THE ONEWHERE EVERY TIME

YOU SEE A GIRLWHO'S PRETTIER THAN YOU,

YOU EAT NUTELLAOUT OF THE JAR WITH YOUR HANDS?

AND THEN YOUTEXT AN EX-BOYFRIEND

A PICTURE OF YOUR ASS?

THAT'S THE EATING DISORDERI HAVE.

I ALSO LIKETO THROW FOOD PARTIES.

THAT'S WHEN YOU THROW A PARTYAND YOU ONLY INVITE FOOD.

[cheers and applause]YEAH. YEAH.

THANK YOU.

USUALLY HAPPENS IN MY CARAROUND MIDNIGHT.

IT'S AMAZING.

THIS IS WHAT MY STOMACHLOOKS LIKE.

I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS.[audience cheers]

[chuckles]THANK YOU.

IT IS LEGALLY A BABY BUMP.

BUT, UM, IT'S NOT.I'M NOT PREGNANT.

THERE'S JUST NO MORNING-AFTERPILL FOR EATING A DOZEN DONUTS.

I'VE BEEN DATING A LITTLE,AND I'VE MADE A DISCOVERY.

I DON'T THINK THAT THE GUY

SHOULD ALWAYS HAVE TOPAY FOR EVERYTHING.

I THINK THATWHOEVER'S UGLIER

SHOULD HAVE TO PAYFOR EVERYTHING.

IT'S ONLY FAIR,

BECAUSE THE OTHER PERSONHAS TO PAY SOCIALLY.

SO IT MAKES SENSE.

MY DAD IS OLD.

AND WHENEVER WE'REIN THE MIDWEST TOGETHER,

WHERE I'M FROM, PEOPLE ASSUMEHE'S MY GRANDFATHER.

AND THEN WHEN WE'RE IN L.A.,THEY ASSUME HE'S MY BOYFRIEND.

WHICH IS KIND OF COOL,

'CAUSE PEOPLE THINKI HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

I AM A WRITER.

I WRITEFACEBOOK STATUS UPDATES.

I DID POST ON FACEBOOKTHAT I WAS PREGNANT.

MY MOM SAW ITAND CALLED ME, VERY UPSET.

AND I WAS LIKE, "MOM,I'M NOT REALLY PREGNANT, OKAY?

AND IF I WASREALLY PREGNANT,

"DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD'VETAGGED YOU IN THE FACEBOOK POST?

"I ALSO WOULD'VE TAKEN TIMETO CHECK IN WITH YOU

"AND MAKE SURETHAT YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY READY

TO RAISE THIS BABY FOR ME."

OKAY?

FIRST DATESARE REALLY AWKWARD.

I RECENTLYWENT ON A FIRST DATE

WITH A GUY WHO I'D BEEN

SLEEPING WITHFOR THREE MONTHS.

IT WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSEIT WASN'T REALLY A FIRST DATE.

IT WAS MORE JUST LIKE,

"LET ME TELL YOU I'M PREGNANTWHILE WE'RE EATING DINNER."

WASN'T REALLY PREGNANT.

JUST SAID IT FOR ATTENTIONAND A FREE MEAL.

I'VE ALSO REALIZED, EVERY TIMEA GUY [bleep] ON YOUR STOMACH,

HE'S TELLING YOU,"YOU'RE NOT THE ONE.

"YOU CAN--[chuckles]

"YOU CAN JUST GET A TOWEL,WIPE IT OFF.

THOSE BABIESARE FOR SOMEBODY ELSE, OKAY?"

CLEARLY,WHEN I'M DATING SOMEONE,

I DON'T LIKE TO USE CONDOMS.

I JUST FEEL LIKE,HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BOND

AS A COUPLE IF YOU DON'TGO THROUGH A PREGNANCY SCARE?

OKAY?

YOU NEED THAT.YOU REALLY DO.

OKAY, THAT'SWHEN HE'S RESPONDING

TO ALL YOUR TEXTS RIGHT AWAY.

HE REALLY CARES FOR YOUALL OF A SUDDEN.

HE BELIEVES IN YOUR DREAMS.

HE'S LIKE,"YOU DON'T NEED THIS NOW.

YOU HAVE A WHOLE FUTUREAHEAD OF YOU."

I'M ALSO REALLY CLINGY.I'M A REALLY CLINGY GIRL.

I'M VERY NEEDYAND POSSESSIVE.

UM, I FEEL LIKEIF A GUY RAPED ME,

THAT AFTERWARDSI WOULD BE LIKE,

"SO, UM, WHAT ARE WE?

"ARE WE DOING THIS AGAIN?

'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE YOUR NUMBER.WHAT..."

AND I FEEL LIKE I WOULD GET

REALLY POSSESSIVEOVER MY RAPIST.

LIKE, WHAT IF, GOD FORBID, ICAUGHT HIM RAPING SOMEONE ELSE?

WHAT WOULD I DO?

I WOULD BE LIKE,"WHO THE [bleep] IS SHE?"

AND HE'D BE LIKE,"I DON'T KNOW."

I'D BE LIKE, "NO, REALLY.WHO THE [bleep] IS SHE?"

AND HE'D BE LIKE,"I DON'T KNOW. I'M A RAPIST.

I RAPE STRANGERS.I HAVE NO IDEA."

ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS,I'VE BEEN ESTHER.

THANK YOU SO MUCH.

[hip-hop music]

- YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAVE SEX INSPACE, YOU CANNOT GET PREGNANT.

- HUH.- GET OUT OF HERE.

- WOW.- IS THIS A REAL THING?

- THAT'S REALLY GOODBIRTH CONTROL.

- WELL, ACTUALLY, LIKE,YOU CAN, PHYSICALLY.

IT'S JUST NASA,LIKE, WON'T ALLOW IT.

- HEY, ADAM?- WHAT?

- WE GOTTA SHOOTTHIS DUMBASS INTERSTITIAL,

REMIND PEOPLEABOUT THE SPACE JUMP.

- I'M KIND OF TALKINGTO MY FRIENDS RIGHT NOW, KYLE.

- ADAM.- MM?

- RIGHT NOW.

- SORRY, GUYS.

SLAVE TO THE MAN.

- THANK YOU.

- [clears throat]

- READY?- YEP.

- ACTION.- AND ACTION.

YO, WHAT'S UP?IT'S ADAM DEVINE.

WELCOME TO ADAM DEVINE'S--UGH.

I HATE THAT. UGH!

I'M A REAL DUDE.I GOT TO BE REAL, YOU KNOW?

THIS DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT.

I HAVE A BETTER PLANTHAT IS WAY MORE REAL.

- JESUS CHRIST.OKAY.

- ROLL SOUND HERE.- ARE YOU READY?

- ARE WE GONNA ROLL SOUND?- ROLLING SOUND.

- OKAY. SOUND SPEEDS.

- ALREADY ROLLING.- ARE YOU?

- WE ALREADY WERE ROLLING.

- OKAY, WELL, THEN,I TAKE THAT AND MULTIPLY IT.

MORE SOUND.

- ACTION.

- IT'S ME, ADAM D.WELCOME TO MY HOUSE PARTY.

GET READY FOR A RECORD-SETTINGSPACE JUMP.

AND CUT.AND THAT WAS PERFECT.

- OH, YEAH, THAT WAS GREAT.- BYRON.

YOU READY TO GO?YOU'RE UP NEXT.

- UH, GIVE ME ABOUTTWO MINUTES.

- ALL RIGHT.DO YOU, PLAYER.

- YEAH, SO I HEARD YOU CAN'TGET PREGNANT IN OUTER SPACE.

I DO.I WANT TO BE GREAT.

I WANT TO BE SO GREATTHAT MY GREATNESS

JUST OUTWEIGHMY INAPPROPRIATENESS.

LIKE, I COULDDO SOMETHING WRONG,

AND THEY'LL BE LIKE, "OH, HE'SFUNNY. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT."

THAT'S WHAT I CALL"BEETHOVEN GREAT."

I DO, 'CAUSE BEETHOVENWAS A ALCOHOLIC,

BUT NOBODY PAID ATTENTION 'CAUSEHE PLAYED THE PIANO SO WELL.

THEY THOUGHT HE WAS SWEATINGBECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING WELL.

NO, HE WAS DRUNK.

[chuckles]YOU KNOW?

"WALT DISNEY GREAT."

WALT DISNEY WAS A RACIST.

BUT HE DREW CARTOONCHARACTERS SO WELL

THAT IT WAS YEARS AFTERHE DIED BEFORE PEOPLE REALIZED,

"HEY, SOME OF THESE CARTOONCHARACTERS IN BLACKFACE."

YOU WATCH THEM NOW,YOU BE LIKE,

"DAMN, THAT CROWGOT SOME BIG LIPS.

"AND IT'S EATING WATERMELON.

"I DID NOT KNOWBIRDS ATE WATERMELON.

BUT IT COULD TAP-DANCEITS ASS OFF."

"MAMMY!"LOOK AT IT, IT'S--

THAT'S GREAT RIGHT THERE.

"DR. KING GREAT."

DR. KING HAD WOMENON THE SIDE.

HE USED TO BANG CHICKSAND TAKE NAPS.

BUT DURING ONE OF THOSE NAPS,HE HAD A DREAM.

MICHAEL JACKSON TOUCHEDA LITTLE BOY,

WHICH IS SAD.

BUT NOBODY CARES ABOUT THAT BOYWHEN BILLIE JEAN COMES ON.

THAT LITTLE BOY COULD BESTANDING RIGHT HERE.

"MOVE OUT THE WAY. YOU IN MY--I'M TRYING TO WORK ON MY LEAN.

"I CAN'T KICK WITH YOURIGHT THERE.

YOU IN MY SPIN SPACE."

[cheers and applause]

"BUT HE TOUCHED ME!"

"HE TOUCHED US ALL."

[chuckles]

I'M A SPIRITUAL PERSON.I'M SPIRITUAL.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S BECAUSEI'M FROM THE BIBLE BELT

OR 'CAUSE I'M BLACKAND WE NATURALLY SCARED OF SHIT.

LIKE, WE FEAR GOD,GHOSTS, AND MAGIC.

YOU AIN'T NEVER SEEN A BLACKMAGICIAN BEFORE, HAVE YOU?

YOU MIGHT SEE A BROTHERDO SOME CARD TRICKS,

BUT YOU AIN'T NEVER SEENA BROTHER RELEASE DOVES.

[imitatessound of flapping wings]

BROTHER PULL OUT A DOVE,IT'S A BAR OF SOAP.

HE TRYING TO SELL IT TO YOU."UH, LOOK HERE."

WHEN THEY GONNABRING SLAVERY BACK?

I'M TIRED OF LOOKINGFOR WORK. ANYBODY?

TOO SOON?

I THINK WE NEED A EMOTICONFOR THAT SLAVERY.

WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL?

BE LIKE, "HEY, MAN,MY BOSS JUST WALKED IN.

I GOTTA GO. SLAVERY FACE."

TO ME, MAN, SLAVERYPUT BLACK PEOPLE ON THE MAP.

BEFORE SLAVERY, NOBODY KNEWWHO WE WAS IN THE UNITED STATES.

WE WAS IN AFRICA.

THEN SLAVERY HAPPENED.BOOM! WE BLEW UP.

WE BECAME POPULARLIKE NEW TECHNOLOGY.

EVERYBODY WANTED ONE.

WE WAS THE iPHONEOF THE 1700s.

PEOPLE WOULD BRAG, LIKE,"YO, YOU KNOW,

"I JUST PICKED UPTHE NEW [bleep] YESTERDAY.

I WAITED IN LINE FOR 13 HOURS.IT WAS BLACK FRIDAY!"

SEE, WE WERE THE FIRST...

I SEE SOME OF Y'ALLAIN'T LAUGHING.

YOU LIKE, "I LIKE THIS JOKE,

"BUT I COULD NOT LAUGH AT IT

"'CAUSE THERE'SBLACK PEOPLE AROUND.

"BUT I'M FORCED TO SIT HEREAND LISTEN TO IT.

SLAVERY FACE."

IT'S BEEN THE BEST TIMEOF MY LIFE.

YOU'RE ALL GONNA BEIN MY MEMOIRS.

LOOK FORTHE SPACE JUMP SECTION.

IT'LL BE IN THAT AREA.

WHAT THE [bleep]?

OKAY, LET'S FILM THE MANFALLING FROM SPACE,

'CAUSE IT'SABOUT TO HAPPEN RIGHT NOW.

TEN, NINE...

all: EIGHT, SEVEN,

SIX, FIVE--

OH!

- AAGH!

- OH!- [screams]

- IT'S OKAY! IT'S OKAY!HE LANDED IN THE BOUNCE HOUSE.

HE MIGHT BE OKAY, RIGHT?

[crowd murmuring]OH, GOD!

OH, MY GOD!

[all sobbing]OH, MY GOD!

OH!

[sobbing continues]

- I'M OKAY!

- YEAH!

- PARTY AT MY HOUSE!

- YOU GOTTA BE[bleep] KIDDING ME.

- COME ON, EVERYBODY!SCREW YOU, ALAN!

[laughs]COME ON!

JEFF ROSS RULES THIS TOWN!

[mic thumps]

CONGRATULATIONS.

YOU GUYS HAD A RECORD-BREAKINGAMOUNT OF SEX.

THAT WAS INCREDIBLE.

YOU MUST HAVE EJAC'ED,LIKE, 15 TIMES.

- WE JUST GOT SOME GREAT NEWS.- WHAT'S UP?

- WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!

- I MIGHT GET A DOG.

- AND WE'RE NAMING IT"HOUSE PARTY"!

- OH, MY GOD!THAT IS INCREDIBLE!

- WHOO!- THANK YOU. I FEEL HONORED.

OH, MY GOD.LET'S DRINK TO THAT.

THERE YOU GO. WOW.CONGRATULATIONS.

- MM-HMM.

- YOU'RE GONNA MAKEA GREAT MOM.

- MM-HMM.

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