Cereal Interruptus

  • Season 2, Ep 7
  • 11/07/2015

An auctioneer tries to pick up a woman at a party, an evil spirit finds itself in an unlikely vessel, and Beth and Jennifer sue a Chinese restaurant for false advertising.

[tires screeching]

[big band jazz music]

[radio static]

So anyway, she goes,"I'm coming, I'm coming!

- Like I care.- No respect, these broads.

- I'm telling you.- [grunts] Come on!

Are you just [bleep] stand--help me with this!

- What do you want me to do?- Grab the bag!

Hey, I got your bagright here.

[both grunt]

Hey, Paulie, you sure thisis the right place?

What am I,an asshole?

Tony Bag of Orangestold me this guy

was the best cleaner in town.[spits]

[bell jingles]

From what I hear,this Jamook is ruthless.

He makes your laundry disappear,if you know what I mean.

[bell rings]- Hey there, fellas.

What can I do you for?

Tony Bag of Orangessent us down here.

Said you, uh, heh heh,solve problems.

Well, possibly.Let's see what you got there.

Oh, my God!

Is that what I think it is?

Hey, what am I gonna tell ya?

Things got a little messy.

Had to break a couple eggs,if you know what I mean.

- Ooh!- Heh.

Um, what kind of businessare you in?

Waste management, you know,amongst other things.

I mean, forget about it,what we do.

What we need from you is alittle spring cleaning. Huh?

[stammers]I'm sorry.

I really don't knowwhat you're talking about.

I think you may have beenmisinformed

about what I do here,but--

Hey, don't playthe "babe in the woods" routine

with me,you little fruitcake.

Oh, no, no, no!I wouldn't dare!

- Ow! Ow!- Listen,

you little rat [bleep].

An empty suitfell off a truck.

Now we need you to rub it out.

- Capisce?[gun clicks]

I suggest you take careof this fazool.

- [bleep], mangia la [bleep].- [spits]

- Huh?- Ow! Ow!

Jeez! Okay!I'll do my best.

Lucky for you,we gotta go deal

with a coupleof [bleep] eggplants.

- Right, Vinny?- Gabagool.

[bell jingles]

[dramatic music]- [grunts]

Take that![grunts]

[grunts]Come here!

You want some more?How about some of that?

- Aah!- Take that, eggplant!

[groans]

Oh, we'll be sleepingwith the fishes tonight,

hey, Paulie?

Oh, marone!

This is gonna be[bleep] delicious!

Tried telling those fellers,

but they just wouldn't listen.

Oh, you the best cleanerin town, Mr. Dave.

[laughs]

Oh, thanks, Chin.

Well, time to get back to work.

[laughter]

[thunderclap]- Out, unclean spirit!

The power of Christ compels you!

[bleep] your assholewith a cactus, [bleep]sucker!

The power of Christ compels you!The power of Christ compels you!

[groans]

Ah!Ahh...it's over.

The demon will wanderuntil he finds

a new object to possess.

[wind howls]

Oh, finally!

Oh, oh! You're even morebeautiful than your picture.

Your mother sucksSatan's [bleep]!

And so much more lifelikethan the ad suggested.

I'll have to go onlineand give you a five-star review.

[laughs]

[gentle piano music]

Why, yes, I did all thisjust for you

because you're worth it.

I hope you likeexpensive wine.

Victus es miser!

Mmm, is that French,the language of love?

I'll pull out your eyeballwith my tongue

and urinate on your heart!

You know, I feel closeto you already,

like I've known youmy whole life.

Do you feel it too?

Shove it up your ass,sheep [bleep]!

[rousing orchestral music on TV]

How many times have you seenboth trilogies?

Let me guess.A million!

I will enjoy killing you!

You know, in my opinion, and Ithink this isn't the "norm,"

but I think Sith isthe best movie in the series.

You know why?

I call upon Satan,whory god of the underworld,

to help me slaughterthis loser!

Because it's about love.

[yawns]

Is it getting warm in here?

[bed springs squeak]

Oh, God.Oh, God, you feel so good, baby.

[garbled]I shall make sure

you get hell'sworst accommodations, slime!

Blagh!

I said I shall make sureyou get hell's

worst accommodations, slime!

[screams]

Ah!I'm never gonna let you go!

I'm gonna be inside you forever!

Help!

Somebody call a priest!

I want out!I want out!