An auctioneer tries to pick up a woman at a party, an evil spirit finds itself in an unlikely vessel, and Beth and Jennifer sue a Chinese restaurant for false advertising.
[big band jazz music]
So anyway, she goes,"I'm coming, I'm coming!
- Like I care.- No respect, these broads.
- I'm telling you.- [grunts] Come on!
Are you just [bleep] stand--help me with this!
- What do you want me to do?- Grab the bag!
Hey, I got your bagright here.
Hey, Paulie, you sure thisis the right place?
What am I,an asshole?
Tony Bag of Orangestold me this guy
was the best cleaner in town.[spits]
From what I hear,this Jamook is ruthless.
He makes your laundry disappear,if you know what I mean.
[bell rings]- Hey there, fellas.
What can I do you for?
Tony Bag of Orangessent us down here.
Said you, uh, heh heh,solve problems.
Well, possibly.Let's see what you got there.
Oh, my God!
Is that what I think it is?
Hey, what am I gonna tell ya?
Things got a little messy.
Had to break a couple eggs,if you know what I mean.
- Ooh!- Heh.
Um, what kind of businessare you in?
Waste management, you know,amongst other things.
I mean, forget about it,what we do.
What we need from you is alittle spring cleaning. Huh?
I really don't knowwhat you're talking about.
I think you may have beenmisinformed
about what I do here,but--
Hey, don't playthe "babe in the woods" routine
with me,you little fruitcake.
Oh, no, no, no!I wouldn't dare!
- Ow! Ow!- Listen,
you little rat [bleep].
An empty suitfell off a truck.
Now we need you to rub it out.
- Capisce?[gun clicks]
I suggest you take careof this fazool.
- [bleep], mangia la [bleep].- [spits]
- Huh?- Ow! Ow!
Jeez! Okay!I'll do my best.
Lucky for you,we gotta go deal
with a coupleof [bleep] eggplants.
- Right, Vinny?- Gabagool.
[dramatic music]- [grunts]
You want some more?How about some of that?
- Aah!- Take that, eggplant!
Oh, we'll be sleepingwith the fishes tonight,
This is gonna be[bleep] delicious!
Tried telling those fellers,
but they just wouldn't listen.
Oh, you the best cleanerin town, Mr. Dave.
Oh, thanks, Chin.
Well, time to get back to work.
[thunderclap]- Out, unclean spirit!
The power of Christ compels you!
[bleep] your assholewith a cactus, [bleep]sucker!
The power of Christ compels you!The power of Christ compels you!
The demon will wanderuntil he finds
a new object to possess.
Oh, oh! You're even morebeautiful than your picture.
Your mother sucksSatan's [bleep]!
And so much more lifelikethan the ad suggested.
I'll have to go onlineand give you a five-star review.
[gentle piano music]
Why, yes, I did all thisjust for you
because you're worth it.
I hope you likeexpensive wine.
Victus es miser!
Mmm, is that French,the language of love?
I'll pull out your eyeballwith my tongue
and urinate on your heart!
You know, I feel closeto you already,
like I've known youmy whole life.
Do you feel it too?
Shove it up your ass,sheep [bleep]!
[rousing orchestral music on TV]
How many times have you seenboth trilogies?
Let me guess.A million!
I will enjoy killing you!
You know, in my opinion, and Ithink this isn't the "norm,"
but I think Sith isthe best movie in the series.
You know why?
I call upon Satan,whory god of the underworld,
to help me slaughterthis loser!
Because it's about love.
Is it getting warm in here?
[bed springs squeak]
Oh, God.Oh, God, you feel so good, baby.
[garbled]I shall make sure
you get hell'sworst accommodations, slime!
I said I shall make sureyou get hell's
worst accommodations, slime!
Ah!I'm never gonna let you go!
I'm gonna be inside you forever!
Somebody call a priest!
I want out!I want out!