Jeff Dunham performs stand-up across five continents, accompanied by Achmed the Dead Terrorist, Peanut, Jose Jalapeno, Bubba J and Walter.
-It took place in London.
-Oh yeah, OK.
You know, I datedher for a while.
-You dated Mary Poppins?
-Yes, I did.
-Yeah, I did.
We were very young.
-I was the first guy to getinto her chim chim cher-ee.
Kinda ruined things whenin the moment of passion
she started screamingsome weird word.
It was like superCalifornia refrigerator
x the delicious lotion.
Something like that.
-Uh, I love this countrybecause just about everything
Did you know thatpeople in Scotland
by 40 bottles ofwhiskey every second?
-This is my favoritecountry ever.
Do they NASCAR in the uck?
-In the what?
-In the uck?
-The-- oh, UK.
-Oh, you can spell.
-But Glasgow is, uh-- you toldme it was confusing for you?
-Yeah, it is.
-Yesterday at lunchmy waitress asked me
if I wanted sometatties and neeps.
When I said yes, insteadof taking off her top,
she brought me food.
It was the worst stripclub I'd ever been to.
-Tatties and neeps areserved with haggis.
-Well, he didn'tshow me that either.
-We've been talkingabout Scotland a bit.
-You know where we are?
-Well, we have going so manyplaces I have lost track.
And, uh, we-- uh.
What's with all the Jews?
-We're in Israel.
-That's so funny.
Yeah, that's really funny.
We're in-- what?
-We're in Tel Aviv.
-As in Israeli Army?
Well, I'm already dead.
What the hell?
-Achmed, trust me.