Nose Business Like Show Business

  • 12/15/2013

Brody decides to take his acting career to the next level, so he invests in new headshots and some improv classes.

I'm feeling good, thinking aboutcomedy, focusing on acting. Yes!

To see my face on a billboard,if that ever happens.

Or to see my face in magazines.

If the-- these are goodproblems, I would think.

Would I be able to handle it?

Based on what happened to mein the past, because I hada little success.

And I kind of had a littlebit of a meltdown.

But this time you havea support system.

I have a support system...

and I don't want to get too intomy head and go well, am I afraidof success and this and that?

I just kind of want to do it,because I was in The Hangover...

and I didn't second guessmyself.

Hangover 1, Hangover 2,booked 'em, Due Date, yes!

Cut out of Funny People,but I learned from it.

So after we take the mug shots,we bring them on down here...

where they wait to beinterviewed...

by the arresting officers.

Trust me, kids...

you do not want to be sittingon these benches.

We call this place Loserville.

Gentlemen, follow me.Follow me.

Here you go.Here you go.

Good to go.Good to go.

Three lines, three scenes.Yes.

Hangover 1, Hangover 2,Due Date...

I was cut out of Funny People.

And it hurt my feelings.

[BLEEP] you, Judd Apatow, forcutting me out of Funny People.

I would use him again...

in something.

I just can't guarantee it stays in.

I cut my kids outof three movies.

It's not like I have anobligation to--

Yeah.

About what?

Uh, we can lose it.

ZACH (ON PHONE) Hello?

Hey, Zach, it's Brody.

ZACH (ON PHONE) Hey, Brody, sorry, I have a telemarketer on the other line.

Ah, great news, I booked theNew Orleans Comedy Festival.

You booked the New Orleans Comedy Festival?

Yeah, it's gonna look goodon my resume.

So, Hangover 3 or whatever.Where are you right now?

Uh...

I'm in New Orleans.

Yes! Looks likeI'm going to New Orleans.

Brody going for the ComedyFestival... you got it!

Zach and Brody in another movie.

Got my gray shirt, got my poloshirt, got that shirt.

Basic Word List, that goes in.

Post-it notes, positivity notesI like to call these.

5-hour Energy, Muscle Milk,something in a bag.

Toiletries, gotta brushyour teeth.

Perfect up, bingo, bingo.Slap it, done.

Zach, I'm on the comeback.

I'm doing this festival...

New Orleans Comedy Festival.

I'm actually headlining it.

Who else is in the festival?

I don't know.

A lot of festival audiences...

are made up of other regularregional comics.

So you've never heardof anyone else on the--

CAMERA (O.S.)How big is the room?

It's maybe 80, capacity.

CAMERA (O.S.) 80?Yeah.

Give a warm welcometo Brody Stevens.

This is the first festivalthat I'm headlining.

How's the film going?

It's going well.Yeah?

You didn't come down hereto ask me to be--

Are they still casting?

On the TV show that I'mproducing for you...

you're asking me if you couldbe in a movie that I'm in?

Why not? I mean, Hangover 2,I was Giamotti's right hand man.

There's not really a partfor you, it's like it's setin the south.

Zach, I can do accents.

Can you do a southern accent?Yeah.

All right, do a southern accent.Okay.

I pledge allegianceto the flag...

of the United Statesof America.

And to the Republicfor which it stands.

One nation, under God,indivisible...

with liberty and justicefor all.

Amen. Nailed it.

I have to say, that was reallygood...

but somehow it just doesn'tmatch your face whatsoever.

I object to that.

You're also good withimprov-ing courtroom scenes.

Your Honor, I object to theevidences-sens.

What other accents can you do.

That's about it.

Southern, I can do tough guy.

Hey, yo! Yo!

Yo! I pledge allegianceto the flag.

One nation under God.

That's--

I mean, who's abovean acting class? Nobody.

You've taken acting classes.

I'm ready to takean acting class.

I said, "Give me the notebook,not a notebook...

"the movie The Notebook."

I want to show Zachthat he can believe in me.

It's not about following yourheart, it's about security.

No, I hate you,you smug bastard!

I hate you, too.

Stomp your foot and say that.Get mad at her.

She's breaking up with you.

This is not keeping yourpromise.

No, do it again. Stomp!

This is not keepingyour promise.

You guys are really just pickingsomething up off a page.

There's no reality in it yet.

Have you had a girlfriend,Brody?

Yeah.

And when you were with her,how did you act with her?

Were you dead quiet like that,and held back?

Probably held back a little bit.

A little, but not as muchas this. Try it again.

And we're gonna have to workat this everyday, because I wantto do that...

because I want you.

I want all of you, forever,every day.

It's not that simple.

What do you want?Damn it!

What do you want?What do you want?

What do you think?

F-plus...

A-plus...

It's a plus if no one sees that.

I've been in a couple movies.

I know you guys are involved...

in that, directing, producing.

Uh, I've workedwith you guys before.

Would have liked to have beenin the last movie.

If it's not too late, maybe...

It's definitely too late.

I mean, we've stopped.

Stopped production?The movie's out.

I don't know if I evertold you this.

After that shoot, when Brodykind of blew it on live TVon our show.

Yeah, there's lots of magazines,don't you get it?

How would they-- I mean,magazines, it's notwhere it's at.

You know who's a hero? I'll tellyou. Evil Kenevil was a hero.

These guys aren't heroes,you want to meet Kenevil, man?It's not--

I went back to our castingdirector and I said, "Can I seeBrody's headshot and resume?"

I had a suspicionabout something.

I looked in the back.I looked under improv training.

None, there was no--

I said, I can't believewe had this guy on.

Right.I suggest you,as soon as possible...

get into an improv class.

Look what I did with Jonah---Wait, wait! Just hold on.

Let me-- watch this.Eric, apples.

Oranges.

Green.Red.

See, this is the fundamentals.

When you don't have thatstructure, okay?

You didn't--All right, let's try with you.

Okay.Okay.

Phillies.

Eagles.

No, see that's--that's fifth-- see?

Yeah.It's like, so simple.

What? I kept it in the--

No, no, but this isn't likeinherently wrong, like--

Okay, I'm gonna try this again.Here, I'll try it with Eric.

Okay.And see how it feels.

Sandbag.

Horsey hair.

See? He's on fire, and I didn'tknow he was gonna come withall that stuff.

But that's--Horsey hair.

Yeah.It's shocking how fun that is.

So you're saying improv classes?

Five days a week.I don't care what it takes.

Once you get your certificate,I mean, we will look at it.

We will look at it again.

What if I had a tambourine?Does that change anything?

Yes!

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