Extended - Thursday, December 4, 2014 - Uncensored

  • 12/04/2014

Brent Morin, Andrew Santino and Chris D'Elia learn about a sensual organist, list #LameJayZBrags and guess which bizarre sermons are real in this extended, uncensored episode.

IT'S NOW TIME FOR THE HASHTAGWARS.

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)IT'S JAY-Z'S BIRTHDAY TODAY.

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)BUT JAYZ DOESN'T REALLY NEED US

TO CELEBRATE HIM.

THE UNDISPUTED KING OF HIP-HOPBOAST LOVES HIMSELF MORE THAN A

13-YEAR-OLD WHOSE PARENTS JUSTPUT LOCKS ON THE BATHROOM.

HE'S NOT SHY ABOUT PUBLICLYBRAGGING ABOUT HIS MONEY, HIS

ART COLLECTION, THE FACT THATEVEN HIS WORST DAY INVOLVES

SEEING BEYONCÉ NAKED.

IN HONOR OF THE RAP GAME'S MOSTBOASTFUL ELDER STATESMAN,

TONIGHT'S HASHTAG ISLAMEJAYZBRAGS.

EXAMPLE MIGHT BE: NO ONE MAKES ATIRAMISU AS FLUFFY AS MINE!

OR: JUST GOT SET UP ON DIRECTDEPOSIT!

(LAUGHTER)I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK. AND GO.

YES, BRENT.

>> I GOT ASKED TO PLAY FOR ANADULT SOFTBALL LEAGUE AND I SAID

NAH.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

ANDREW.

>> JUST CLEANED OUT THIS CANDLEEMPORIUM OF ALL THEY DIPPED

TEAK, SON.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

YES, BRENT.

>> YO, I USED...

(LAUGHTER)>> YOU GUYS KNOW I HAVE GOOD

ONES.

(LAUGHTER)>> YO, I USED TO BANG, LIKE, THE

HOTTEST HOSTESS AT THAT OLIVEGARDEN IN QUEENS.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

CHRIS.

>> GO, CHRIS.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: I'M SORRY, WE'RE

OUT OF TIME.

I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING.

I'M KIDDING!

I'M KIDDING.

>> I ATE ONE AND A HALFSANDWICHES FOR LUNCH THE OTHER

DAY BECAUSE I HAD A SMALLBREAKFAST.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

>> AW, SHIT.

>> HARDWICK: ANDREW.

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, GLUTEN'SALLERGIC TO ME.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

BRENT.

>> YO, I GOT, LIKE, ALL THOSE,LIKE, OH, EMMY ROSSUM MOVIES ON

BLU-RAY.

>> HARDWICK: I DON'T THINKANYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU...

>> I'M NOT GOOD AT JAY-Z.

I'M NOT GOOD AT JAY-Z.

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, POINTS.

ANDREW.

>> YOU KNOW I GOT THATAPPLECARE, SON.

(SILENCE)(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S ME DOING BRENT DOINGJAY-Z.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS. D'ELIA.

D'ELIA.

>> UH, THE OTHER DAY I WOKE UPAND GOT IN MY CAR, DROVE LIKE A

REGULAR PERSON TO WALGREENS,AND AT WALGREENS I PICKED UP

SOME DAYQUIL, THEN I GOT BACK INMY REGULAR CAR AND DROVE ALL THE

WAY HOME, HOPPED INTO BED ANDTOOK DAYQUIL.

DID I MENTION I HAVE A COLD?

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: THAT WAS, UH...

>> YO, THIS SUCKS.

THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU.

THIS WHOLE THING WAS MEANT FORHIM.

>> HARDWICK: THAT WAS, UH, THATWAS THE MOST CONVINCING JOHN

TRAVOLTA STORY...

(LAUGHTER)>> YES!

>> (LIKE TRAVOLTA): SE-SECRETLY,I'M JOHN TRAVOLTA.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

IT'S NOW TIME FOR THE HASHTAGWARS.

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)IT'S JAY-Z'S BIRTHDAY TODAY.

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)BUT JAYZ DOESN'T REALLY NEED US

TO CELEBRATE HIM.

THE UNDISPUTED KING OF HIP-HOPBOAST LOVES HIMSELF MORE THAN A

13-YEAR-OLD WHOSE PARENTS JUSTPUT LOCKS ON THE BATHROOM.

HE'S NOT SHY ABOUT PUBLICLYBRAGGING ABOUT HIS MONEY, HIS

ART COLLECTION, THE FACT THATEVEN HIS WORST DAY INVOLVES

SEEING BEYONCÉ NAKED.

IN HONOR OF THE RAP GAME'S MOSTBOASTFUL ELDER STATESMAN,

TONIGHT'S HASHTAG ISLAMEJAYZBRAGS.

EXAMPLE MIGHT BE: NO ONE MAKES ATIRAMISU AS FLUFFY AS MINE!

OR: JUST GOT SET UP ON DIRECTDEPOSIT!

(LAUGHTER)I'M GONNA PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK. AND GO.

YES, BRENT.

>> I GOT ASKED TO PLAY FOR ANADULT SOFTBALL LEAGUE AND I SAID

NAH.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

ANDREW.

>> JUST CLEANED OUT THIS CANDLEEMPORIUM OF ALL THEY DIPPED

TEAK, SON.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

YES, BRENT.

>> YO, I USED...

(LAUGHTER)>> YOU GUYS KNOW I HAVE GOOD

ONES.

(LAUGHTER)>> YO, I USED TO BANG, LIKE, THE

HOTTEST HOSTESS AT THAT OLIVEGARDEN IN QUEENS.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.

CHRIS.

>> GO, CHRIS.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: I'M SORRY, WE'RE

OUT OF TIME.

I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING.

I'M KIDDING!

I'M KIDDING.

>> I ATE ONE AND A HALFSANDWICHES FOR LUNCH THE OTHER

DAY BECAUSE I HAD A SMALLBREAKFAST.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

>> AW, SHIT.

>> HARDWICK: ANDREW.

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, GLUTEN'SALLERGIC TO ME.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

BRENT.

>> YO, I GOT, LIKE, ALL THOSE,LIKE, OH, EMMY ROSSUM MOVIES ON

BLU-RAY.

>> HARDWICK: I DON'T THINKANYONE UNDERSTANDS WHAT YOU...

>> I'M NOT GOOD AT JAY-Z.

I'M NOT GOOD AT JAY-Z.

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, POINTS.

ANDREW.

>> YOU KNOW I GOT THATAPPLECARE, SON.

(SILENCE)(LAUGHTER)

THAT'S ME DOING BRENT DOINGJAY-Z.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS. D'ELIA.

D'ELIA.

>> UH, THE OTHER DAY I WOKE UPAND GOT IN MY CAR, DROVE LIKE A

REGULAR PERSON TO WALGREENS,AND AT WALGREENS I PICKED UP

SOME DAYQUIL, THEN I GOT BACK INMY REGULAR CAR AND DROVE ALL THE

WAY HOME, HOPPED INTO BED ANDTOOK DAYQUIL.

DID I MENTION I HAVE A COLD?

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: THAT WAS, UH...

>> YO, THIS SUCKS.

THAT WAS MEANT FOR YOU.

THIS WHOLE THING WAS MEANT FORHIM.

>> HARDWICK: THAT WAS, UH, THATWAS THE MOST CONVINCING JOHN

TRAVOLTA STORY...

(LAUGHTER)>> YES!

>> (LIKE TRAVOLTA): SE-SECRETLY,I'M JOHN TRAVOLTA.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

IT'S TIME TO PLAYAMAZON BOOK FAIR: JUNIOR

EDITION.

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)PARENTS, DO YOU WANT TO

TRAUMATIZE YOUR KIDS BUT DON'THAVE TIME TO DRESS LIKE A CLOWN

OR ENTER THEM IN BEAUTY PAGEANTSOR TEACH THEM THE PIPE ORGAN?

WELL... WE FOUND A BUNCH OFCHILDREN'S BOOKS ON AMAZON THAT

WILL MESS WITH YOUR LITTLEANGELS SO HARD THEY'RE SURE TO

GROW UP TO BE SLAM POETS ORTHOSE GUYS IN THE CIRCUS WHO

LIFT WEIGHTS BY THEIR PIERCINGS.

(LAUGHTER)WE'RE GONNA SHOW YOU AN ACTUAL

CHILDREN'S BOOK, AND FOR 250POINTS YOU HAVE TO TELL US ONE

OF THE CHAPTER TITLES, ALLRIGHT?

FIRST ONE: I WISH DADDY DIDN'TDRINK SO MUCH.

(LAUGHTER)BY THE WAY, DADDY'S GOT A

BITCHIN' HOME THEATER, FROM THELOOKS OF IT.

(LAUGHTER)I GUESS HE'S DOING SOMETHING

RIGHT.

>> DADDY'S WATCHING HIS STORIES!

GET OUT OF HERE!

(LIKE A CHILD): I WANT TOESCAPE.

>> HARDWICK: WHAT'S, UH...

ANDREW.

>> CHAPTER TWO: STICKS ANDSTONES WILL ACTUALLY BREAK MY

LITTLE CHILDHOOD BONES.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: RIGHT.

POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)>> HARDWICK: UH, BRENT.

>> (CHUCKLES)DRIVING WITH DADDY IS SCARY,

EVEN WHEN HE CALLS IT "THE FUNBUS."

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

D'ELIA.

>> CHAPTER FIVE...

DADDY DRINKS SO MUCH BECAUSEEVERYONE THINKS OUR LAST NAME IS

"VAGINA"-- LOOK.

>> YEAH.

>> THAT'S A GOOD FIND.

GOOD FIND, MAN.

>> NOW I WANT TO WIN-- THIS ISWAR.

>> WHY IS SHE TAKING... WHY ISSHE LEAVING WITH THE WHIP?

WHY'S SHE LEAVING THE WHIP?

>> HARDWICK: NO, NO, NO, SHEJUST STOPPED HIM FROM HANGING

HIMSELF.

>> OH.

SMART, SMART.

>> HARDWICK: NEXT ONE: "THE LONGJOURNEY OF MISTER POOP."

(BELL DINGS)OR "EL GRAN VIAJE DEL SENOR

CACA."

CHRIS.

>> CHAPTER SEVEN: MR. POOP MAKESA PIT STOP ON GUSTAV'S CHEST.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

>> YEAH.

OH, YEAH.

>> OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH.

>> (GERMAN ACCENT) OH, THIS...

OH, THIS IS MUCH MORE THAN IBARGAINED FOR.

>> HARDWICK (GERMAN ACCENT):THANKFULLY... THANKFULLY, THIS

IS JUST A PIT STOP.

OH, NOW IT'S A REAL PIT STOP.

>> OH.

>> HARDWICK: UH...

>> NOW THAT'S SHIT FUCKING.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH.

>> BRINGING IT BACK!

>> BRINGING IT BACK AROUND.

>> HARDWICK: EVERYBODY...

>> ...PUT ON THE END.

>> HARDWICK: UH, BRENT.

>> UH-OH, MR. POOP SLIPPED OUTAGAIN DURING DINNER.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

>> HEY, BY THE WAY, WHAT'S INITS BAG?

LIKE, WHAT...

LIKE, WHAT IS... WHAT IS...

>> HARDWICK: OH, HE JUST THREWSOME SHIT IN A BAG.

>> OH.

>> HARDWICK: UH, ANDREW.

>> UH, CHAPTER TEN: MR. PRUNEAND HIS SPORTS CAR.

(IMITATES ENGINE)>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

YUM.

>> LET'S GET OUT OF HERE, TURDS.

>> HARDWICK: YOU KNOW, THISISN'T HARDCOVER, BUT I FOR

SURE... I PREFER SOFT COVER.

>> IT'S SO MUCH EASIER TODIGEST.

>> HARDWICK: EASIER TO DIGEST.

>> EASIER TO DIGEST.

>> HARDWICK: UH, NEXT ONE:"THE POCKET BOOK OF BONERS".

(BELL DINGS)"A... RIB-TICKLING OMNIBUS OF

SCHOOLBOY HOWLERS."

IT SAYS ON THE COVER.

DEFINITELY HARDCOVER.

UH... D'ELIA.

>> UH, "HOW COME MINE IS ONLYTHREE INCHES?"

FORWARD BY BRENT MORIN.

>> HARDWICK: AW, JEEZ.

>> OH.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

BRENT.

>> MY DICK IS NORMAL.

>> NORMALLY IN YOUR BOYFRIEND.

>> OKAY, OKAY.

WAIT...

>> WHOA, WHOA!

>> ANDREW, ANDREW.

>> WHOA!

>> ANDREW.

>> WHAT IS THAT?

QUIT IT!

WHAT IS THAT?

>> SEE?

>> GET OFF ME!

>> YOU HAVE THAT ON TAPE.

YOU HAVE THAT ON TAPE ONMULTIPLE ANGLES, WITH MULTIPLE

ANGLES.

>> I DON'T CARE, FINE.

ANDREW AND I ARE TOGETHER.

AND HE KNOWS IT'S NOT THREEINCHES.

>> HARDWICK: NEXT ONE, NEXT ONE:"WHO CARES ABOUT ELDERLY

PEOPLE?"(BELL DINGS)

"WHO CARES ABOUT ELDERLYPEOPLE?"

UH, YEAH, CHRIS.

>> UH, CHAPTER ONE: EVERYBODYCARES ABOUT ELDERLY PEOPLE.

CHAPTER TWO: PSYCH.

>> OH, THAT'S GOOD.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

>> THAT'S GOOD.

>> HARDWICK: BRENT.

>> CHAPTER FOUR: GRANDPA'S DRUNKAGAIN AT A FAMILY PARTY AND

TALKING ABOUT "THE JEWS AT THEBANK."

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

>> (GRUNTS)>> HARDWICK: ANDREW.

>> CHAPTER ONE: LIFE.

J.K.-- DEATH.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

>> OH, IT'S GOOD.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, LASTONE: "THE NIGHT DAD WENT TO

JAIL."

(BELL DINGS)YES, CHRIS D'ELIA?

>> UH, CHAPTER FOUR: THE DAY YOULEARNED IT WAS EASIER TO JUST

TELL EVERYONE THAT DADDY DIED.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

>> THAT'S SO SAD.

>> HARDWICK: UH, BRENT.

>> CHAPTER SIX: DADDY'S NEWRIPPED BODY AND TERRIBLE

TATTOOS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

WHY DOES DADDY HAVE A TEARDROPTATTOOED ON HIS FACE?

ANDREW.

>> CHAPTER FIVE: DADDY'S NEWNAME IS "BRENDA".

>> HARDWICK: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENSWHEN YOU GO JAIL.

POINTS.

IT'S TIME FOR OUR NEXT GAME,TESTIFY! COMMENT! SUBSCRIBE!

ON ONE HAND, THE INTERNET IS THESUM TOTAL OF HUMAN KNOWLEDGE,

ALTHOUGH USUALLY IT'S A WRETCHEDPLACE BRIMMING WITH FILTH.

FOR AN ANTIDOTE TO THISNASTINESS, YOU CAN TURN TO

YOUTUBE, WHERE MEN AND WOMEN OFTHE CLOTH ARE PREACHING THE GOOD

WORD.

I'M GONNA SHOW YOU AN INTERNETHOLY PERSON, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE

TO TELL US WHAT THE TOPIC OF HISOR HER SERMON IS, ALL RIGHT?

FIRST ONE, THIS WELL-DRESSEDGENTLEMAN THAT WE FEATURED A FEW

WEEKS BACK TALKING ABOUT SEMENIN STARBUCKS COFFEE.

>> THE TRUTH THAT I SPEAK IS THEBOOM-SHAKA-LAKA-TRUTH.

>> HARDWICK: NOW, DOES HEBELIEVE THAT VLADIMIR PUTIN

WANTS TO SPANK BARACK OBAMA ORHILLARY CLINTON IS IN A LESBIAN

RELATIONSHIP WITH KATY PERRY?

(BELL DINGS)CHRIS.

>> VLADIMIR PUTIN.

>> HARDWICK: YOU THINK SO?

ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT.

>> PROBABLY.

>> HARDWICK: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> VLADIMIR HAS OUTED OBAMA BYPULLING HIS PANTS DOWN AND

SPANKING HIS LOVE-MAKING MACHINEAND NOW WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT

IT?

WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

>> WHAT YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?

>> HARDWICK: NEXT ONE: THISCANADIAN CARDINAL.

>> YOU GOT THE NERVE TO LAUGH ATME, SITTING THERE ON YOUR COUCH,

FAT, EATING YOUR DORITOS.

>> HARDWICK: WHAT'S HIS SERMONABOOT?

IS IT PROSTITUTES WITH HYPNOTICPOWERS OR SATANISTS WHO MELT

BABIES?

(BELL DINGS)ANDREW.

>> IT'S GOT TO BE SATANISTS WHOMELT THEM BABIES, CHRIS.

YES, IT IS.

>> I DON'T THINK SO.

I DON'T THINK SO.

>> HARDWICK: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> HE'S A SATANIST FROM ONE OFTHE SATANIST CHURCHES HERE WHERE

THEY SACRIFICE BABIES.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT.

>> SATAN BE MELTING THEM BABIES,CHRIS.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH.

NEXT ONE: THIS PEACOCKINGPASTOR.

>> EVERYBODY WANT TO SHOUT ANDSASHAY BECAUSE WE MADE THE

CHURCH COMFORTABLE FOR MEN NOTTO BE MEN, BUT TO BE SANCTIFIED

SISSIES.

>> HARDWICK: NOW, IS-IS HEWARNING HIS FLOCK AGAINST

DISLOYAL HOS OR LETTING THEDEVIL INTO YOUR ANUS?

(BELL DINGS)CHRIS.

>> I MEAN, THERE'S NO WAY THATISN'T ABOUT LETTING THE DEVIL

INTO YOUR ANUS.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, LET'SFIND OUT.

>> IT SOUNDS SO FUN.

>> THESE HOS AIN'T LOYAL.

YOU GOT TO FIND SOMEBODY...

>> HOS AIN'T LOYAL.

>> OH, WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW.

>> THESE HOS AIN'T LOYAL.

>> HARDWICK: NEXT ONE-- BEFORE ISHOW YOU THIS ONE, PLEASE NOTE

THAT WE HAVE NOT ALTERED HISVOICE IN ANY WAY.

>> (HIGH-PITCHED): I LOVE THEHOLY BIBLE, IT IS THE WORD OF

GOD.

>> WHAT... WHAT THE...

CAN WE WATCH THAT AGAIN?

>> HARDWICK: UH... IS...

IS HIS SERMON ABOUT LETTINGCHILDREN WIN AT BOARD GAMES...

(BELL DINGS)OR GIVING YOURSELF PERMISSION TO

EAT ICE CREAM FOR DINNER?

CHRIS.

>> GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.

>> GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TOEAT ICE CREAM FOR DINNER.

>> HARDWICK: OKAY, LET'S FINDOUT.

>> I HOPE YOU'RE WRONG.

>> (HIGH-PITCHED): YOU KNOW IWISH THAT MORE DADDIES WOULD

TURN OFF THE TV AT NIGHT, GETOUT THE GAME BOARD AND LET US

KIDS PLAY.

>> YES!

>> AND LET US WIN.

>> I-I STILL DON'T KNOW WHATHE SAID.

>> THE BOARD GAMES.

>> HARDWICK: IT WAS THE BOARDGAMES ONE.

IT WAS THE BOARD GAMES ONE.

>> IDIOT.

>> CHRIS, DOES HE NOT GET DOCKEDPOINTS?

>> HE'S GOT TO GET DOCKED>> HE SHOULD GET DOCKED.

>> HARDWICK: HE DOESN'T GETDOCKED, HE JUST DOESN'T GET NEW

POINTS, NO.

>> ALL I HAVE TO DO IS ANSWERAND THEN YOU GUYS DON'T GET

POINTS-- THAT'S THE STRATEGY.

I...

>> NO, I HATE APPLAUSE BREAKS.

>> WHY?

WHY?

>> STOP APPLAUDING!

>> WHY?

>> HEY, DUDE.

>> DON'T APPLAUSE THIS...

>> YEAH, DON'T APPLAUD HIM.

>> DON'T APPLAUSE THIS POORLYACID-WASHED SHIRT.

>> YEAH.

>> DO NOT.

>> I MADE THIS SHIRT MYSELF.

I MADE THIS SHIRT MYSELF.

BY THE WAY, THAT IS ANDREWSANTINO'S HAIR IF HE GROWS IT

OUT.

>> HARDWICK: LAST ONE: HOW ABOUTTHIS REVVED-UP BRIDE FOR THE

LORD?

>> MY ENGINE'S R...

REVVIN' TO GO.

IT'S REVVIN' UP.

>> IT'S REVVIN' UP!

>> HARDWICK: DOES SHE WANT HERFLOCK TO GET A HOLY GHOST

ENEMA OR...

(BELL DINGS)>> DAMN IT!

>> HARDWICK: ...A HOLY WATERDOUCHE?

BRENT.

>> HOLY WATER DOUCHE.

>> PLEASE BE ENEMA, PLEASE BEENEMA.

>> I THINK IT IS.

>> IT'S THAT ONE, RIGHT?

>> I THINK IT IS.

>> HARDWICK: BY THE WAY...

>> WHAT? I GOT IT.

>> SHUT UP.

>> I GOT IT. IT'S ENEMA.

>> HARDWICK: THIS WEIRDLY TURNEDINTO PRICE IS RIGHT IF... IF A

DOUCHE HAD BEEN UP ON THE BLOCK.

DOUCHE! DOUCHE!

>> OH, THERE'S A COUPLE OFDOUCHES UP ON THIS BLOCK, CHRIS.

>> YEAH.

>> LOOK UP!

>> HARDWICK: THE CORRECTANSWER...

>> NO, NO, ANDREW, THAT'S...

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.

>> HARDWICK: THE CORRECT ANSWERIS...

>> YOU KNOW WHAT, IF YOUR ENGINEIS NOT REVVING UP, YOU KNOW WHAT

YOU NEED?

YOU NEED A HOLY GHOST ENEMARIGHT UP YOUR REAR END.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)>> IDIOT. STUPID GUY.

IDIOT STUPID HEAD.

THE JOY-STICKIES.

THE JOY-STICKIES.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)ALSO, I'M SORRY, PROFESSOR

HAWKING.

PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER.

UH...

>> (A LA HAWKING): "FUCK NO."

>> KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING.

(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)COME ON.

>> "YOU ARE... YOU ARE BLOCKED.

ALSO, NOT MATCHED ON TINDER."

>> AWFUL.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, THEGAME... THE GAME AWARDS TAKE

PLACE TOMORROW IN LAS VEGAS.

THEY'RE GONNA HONOR VIDEO GAMESIN CATEGORIES LIKE BEST GRAPHICS

AND BEST VOICE ACTING.

AND WE ALL KNOW THAT VIDEO GAMESARE ABOUT SO MUCH MORE THAN

THAT.

SO, COMEDIANS, YOU'RE GIVING MESOME CATEGORIES YOU'D LIKE TO

SEE IN NEXT YEAR'S AWARDS.

LET'S PUT 60 SECONDS AND GO.

(BELL DINGS)YES, BRENT.

>> MOST FRIENDS IN REAL LIFE.

>> HARDWICK: YES, POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)CHRIS D'ELIA.

>> MOST FUCKABLE POKEMON.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)UH, ANDREW.

>> CARPAL-EST TUNNEL.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)D'ELIA.

>> BEST PERFORMANCE BY A VIRGINPRETENDING NOT TO BE.

>> HARDWICK: OKAY. POINTS.

(BELL DINGS)CHRIS D'ELIA AGAIN.

>> BEST ORIGINAL HOMOPHOBIC SLUROVER XBOX LIVE.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.