October 8, 2015 - Rupert Murdoch Backs Ben Carson

  • 10/08/2015

Roni Dean-Burren describes her fight against racist textbooks, and Jordan Carlos, Bobcat Goldthwait and Shannon DeVido discuss Rupert Murdoch's endorsement of Ben Carson.

>> Larry: YEAH!

MAN!

WHAT A GREAT CROWD.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU, I APPRECIATE IT.

YOU KNOW THAT MEANS A LOT.

YOU KNOW THAT MEANS A LOT TO ME,ESPECIALLY ON A SPECIAL DAY LIKE

TODAY, OZEER'S 65th BIRTHDAY,YOU GUYS.

AND NOT ONLY THAT, THERE'S AGENTLEMAN UP TOP WHO IS GOING TO

BUY BEERS FOR EVERYBODY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

I THINK IT'S FANTASTIC.

SO-- AND WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOWFOR YOU TONIGHT, TOO.

OH, AND ALSO BEFORE WE GO ANYFURTHER I WANT TO ACKNOWLEDGE A

VERY SPECIAL ANNIVERSARY TODAY--NOT THE 30th ANNIVERSARY OF

THE BIRTH OF BRUNO MARS.

WHICH IS STILL NOT A NATIONALHOLIDAY IN THIS RACIST COUNTRY.

I'M TALKING ABOUT--

( LAUGHTER )

I'M TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ALITTLE MORE DEPRESSING.

>> VIDEO FROM OCTOBER 7, 2001.

THAT'S THE DAY THE U.S. BEGANITS ASSAULT, THE WAR IN

AFGHANISTAN AGAINST THE TALIBANAND AL QAEDA.

EXACTLY 14 YEARS LATER TO THEDAY.

>> Larry: 14 YEARS!

MY GOD, THIS WAR IS OFFICIALLY ATEENAGER.

( LAUGHTER )

THIS WAR NOW HAS TWO THINGSTO WORRY ABOUT-- NEVER ENDING

AND HAVING ITS MOM WALK IN WHENIT'S JERKING OFF.

AFGHANISTAN!

OH!

NO, NO, NO!

( APPLAUSE )

YEAH.

NOW, THERE'S THIS CONCERN OUTTHERE THAT WE'VE GOTTEN

COMPLETELY NUMB TO THE HORRORSOF WAR.

BUT TRY TO BE NUMB TO SOMETHINGLIKE THIS.

>> ACCORDING TO DOCTORS WITHOUTBORDERS, ITS HOSPITAL IN

NORTHERN AFGHANISTAN CAME UNDERREPEATED, DIRECT ATTACK ON

SATURDAY FROM A U.S.A. AC.-130GUNSHIP.

12 STAFF AND 10 PATIENTS,INCLUDING THREE CHILDREN, WERE

KILLED.

>> Larry: WHAT?

I MEAN, WE BOMBED A HOSPITAL?

HOW DOES SOMETHING LIKE THISEVEN HAPPEN, WHO'S RESPONSIBLE

FOR THIS?

>> SENATOR, THIS IS THE FOURTHTIME IN FOUR DAYS THAT THE

PENTAGON HAS CHANGED THEIR STORYON THIS ATTACK.

AT FIRST THEY DIDN'T KNOW IF THEHOSPITAL WAS HIT.

THEN THEY HAD THAIDZ IT WAS ANACCIDENT.

THEN THEY SAID IT WAS CALLED INBY THE AFGHANS, AND NOW GENERAL

CAMPBELL TELLING YOUR COMMITTEETHE AIRSTRIKE WAS CALLED IN BY

U.S. SPECIAL OPERATIONS FORCES.

SHOULD THEY HAVE HANDLED THISWHOLE THING BETTER?

>> Larry: YES!

THEY SHOULD HAVE!

OH, MY GOD, DID A HUMAN REALLYASK THAT QUESTION TO ANOTHER

HUMAN?

( LAUGHTER )

LET ME SEE IF I'VE GOT THISCLEAR-- AMERICAN FORCES STARTED

BOMBING BEFORE WE HAD THEINFORMATION ON WHAT IT WAS WE

WERE BOMBING.

MAYBE THAT'S A DETAIL YOU WANTTO NAIL DOWN BEFORE DROPPING

CRUISE MISSILES ON BUILDINGS.

AT THE VERY LEAST DO A GOOGLEEARTH-PASS.

( LAUGHTER )

I MEAN, THIS IS A REALLY (BLEEP)PROBLEM.

THE OLD BOMB FIRST ASK QUESTIONSLATER INTERNATIONAL POLICY IS

HOW WE GOT INTO THIS MESS IN THEFIRST PLACE.

( APPLAUSE )

IT'S TRUE.

AND THE BOTTOM LINE IS, THEAFGHAN PEOPLE DESERVE TO GET THE

MEDICAL CARE THEY SO DESPERATELYNEED.

AFGHANS DESERVE TO GO TO AHOSPITAL AND EXPECT THE SAME

BASIC RESULTS AS AMERICANS -- TOGO IN FOR A MINOR PROCEDURE AND

THEN DIE OF A STAPH INFECTION AWEEK LATER.

THAT'S WHAT WE GET.

THAT'S WHAT WE GET.

BUT YESTERDAY, THE PRESIDENTACKNOWLEDGED MISTAKE AND PLACED

A PERSONAL CALL TO DOCTORSWITHOUT BORDERS.

>> THIS MORNING FROM THE OVALOFFICE, PRESIDENT OBAMA SPOKE BY

TELEPHONE WITH DOCTORS WITHOUTBORDERS INTERNATIONAL PRESIDENT

DR. JOANNE LIU TO APOLOGIZE ANDEXPRESS HIS CONDOLENCES TO THE

M.S.F. STAFF AND PAINTERS WHOWERE KILLED AND INJURED WHEN A

U.S. MILITARY AIRSTRIKEMISTAKENLY STRUCK AN M.S.F.

FIELD HOSPITAL OVER THE WEEKEND.

>> Larry: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,AS LONG AS THE UNITED STATES IS

APOLOGIZING, PRESIDENT OBAMA,COULD YOU GRAB BUSH AND

EVERYBODY WHO HAS BEEN INGOVERNMENT FOR THE PAST 14 YEARS

TO APOLOGIZE TO EVERYBODY IN THEWHOLE ( BLEEP ) WORLD FOR BEING

OVER THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

LET'S MOVE ON.

I CAN'T EVEN TALK ABOUT THIS.

BUT IF YOU WERE TURNING TOSOCIAL MEDIA FOR A LITTLE

LIGHT-HEARTED CAT MEME TO MAKEYOU FEEL BEFORE BETTER AFTER

THAT LAST STORY, I'VE GOT SOMEBAD NEWS.

>> RUPERT MURDOCH APOLOGYAPOLOGIZING THIS MORNING FOR A

TWEET HE POSTED LAST NIGHT ABOUTBEN CARSON AND PRESIDENT OBAMA.

IT READ, "BEN AND CANDY CARSONARE TERRIFIC.

WHAT ABOUT A REAL BLACKPRESIDENT WHO CAN PROPERLY

ADDRESS THE RACIAL DIVIDE ANDMUCH ELSE."

>> Larry: OKAY.

HOLD ON, HOLD ON, NOW.

LET'S UNPACK THIS 140-CHARACTERPUTT DOWN FROM THE NEARLY

140-YEAR-OLD CHARACTER.

( LAUGHTER )

LET'S EXAMINE IT.

WHAT ABOUT A REAL BLACKPRESIDENT WHO CAN PROPERLY

ADDRESS THE RACIAL DIVIDE?

NOW, I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT MUCHRACISM PACKED INTO ONE VEHICLE

SINCE "AMISTAD" CAME TO AMERICA.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

SERIOUSLY.

SO LET ME SEE IF I UNDERSTANDTHIS.

SO HE BLAMES ONE BLACK MAN FORNOT PROPERLY ADDRESSING THE

RACIAL DIVIDE AND HE DOES IT BYRACIALLY DIVIDING HIM WITH

ANOTHER BLACK MAN.

WELL DONE, SIR.

MUAH!

BRILLIANT, BRILLIANT MOVE THERE,SIR.

WELL DONE!

( APPLAUSE )

ALL RIGHT.

SO LET ME BREAK THIS DOWN.

LET'S START WITH REAL BLACK.

THERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT AREREAL BLACK-- AN 8-BALL, THE DEAD

OF NIGHT-- WHAT?

( LAUGHTER )

AND THE ( BLEEP ) DEFINITIONWHITE PEOPLE MADE UP TO

SUBJUGATE AN ENTIRE GROUP OFPEOPLE.

IT'S--

( APPLAUSE )

( CHEERS )

IT IS CALLED-- IT IS CALLED THEONE-DROP RULE.

AND IF YOU LOOK AT WIKIPEDIA,WHICH IS MY SOURCE FOR

EVERYTHING --

( LAUGHTER )

IT WILL TELL YOU ANY PERSON WITHEVEN ONE ANCESTOR, SUBSAHARAN

ANCESTRY, ONE DROP OF BLACKBLOOD, IS SAID TO BE BLACK.

IF YOU LOOK AT BLACKIPEDIA, ITSAYS GO ( BLEEP ) YOURSELF.

BLACKIPEDIA-- BLACKIPEDIA, A LOTMORE CONCISE.

IN OTHER WORDS, THAT ONE DROPMEANT YOU WERE CONTAMINATE AND

YOU WERE THEN SUBJECT TO ALL THEHORRIBLE LAWS THAT COME WITH IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

JIM CROW.

( BIRD CROWING )

>> Larry: MAN, JIM CROW ISSCARY.

THE REASON MURDOCH THINKS CARSONIS THE REAL BLACK PERSON IS

BECAUSE CARSON IS HIS BRAND OFBLACK PERSON.

LET ME SAY, IF CARSON BECOMESPRESIDENT, I WILL MOVE TO FIJI

AND CREATE MY OWN BRAND OF WATERCALLED MIJI.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

AND, APPARENTLY, I'LL GO ON ANUNBELIEVABLE DIET AND, TWO,

MURDOCH AND HIS ILK WILLPROBABLY DECLARE THAT RACISM IS

OFFICIALLY OVER AND THE REALBLACK PRESIDENT WILL AGREE WITH

HIM, AND I WILL DROWN MYSELF INMY MIJI, WHICH I CAN'T AFFORD.

MY OWN MIJI IS VERY EXPENSIVE,YOU GUYS.

THE SECOND POINT, ALSO, IS WHYIS IT UP TO BLACK PEOPLE TO HEAL

THE RACIAL DIVIDE?

HOW DO YOU THINK THE RACIALDIVIDE STARTED?

WE DIDN'T ENSLAVE OURSELVES!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

WE-- OR COME UP WITH JIM CROW SOWE COULD LIVE ON THE MARGINS OF

SOCIETY.

DID YOU THINK THE WHOLE LYNCHINGWAS A PRANK WE CAME UP WITH WHAT

GOT OUT OF CONTROL?

SORRY, THAT DIDN'T START BY US,EITHER.

THAT CAUSED THE RACIAL DIVIDE.

WHY IS IT UP TO US TO HEAL IT.

YOU HAD 43 PRESIDENTS TO CLEANUP THAT EXPHES NOW THERE'S A

BROTHER IN THE WHITE HOUSE, ANDYOU'RE HANDING HIM A MOP?

YOU CAN KISS MY BLACK ASS --THAT'S REAL BLACK.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

LAST WEEK, A TEXAS MOM CAUSED ASTIR ON FACEBOOK THAT HAS A LOT

OF PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT ANINTERESTING WORD CHOICE IN HER

SON'S GEOGRAPHY TEXTBOOK.

>> A LINE IN COSBY BURREN'SNINTH GRADE TEXTBOOK GOT

ATTENTION FOR THE WRONG REASON.

CAPTURE REFERRED TO AFRICANSLAVES AS WORKERS.

( BOOING )

>> Larry: WORKERS?

THIS IS INSANE!

I MEAN, THERE'S A REASON SLAVESHIPS WERE CALLED SLAVE SHIPS.

THEY WEREN'T CARPOOLS.

WHAT WERE PEOPLE THINKING?

BUT ANYWAY, SO CHECK OUT WHATKOBE'S MOM DID.

>> IMMEDIATELY, SHE PUT IT ONFACEBOOK, HER MESSAGE WENT

VIRAL.

IT FORCED THE PUBLISHER,McGRAW-HILL EDUCATION, TO SAY,

"WE MADE A MISTAKE," AND CHANGETHE WORDING TO DESCRIBE THE

ARRIVAL OF AFRICAN SLAVES TO THEU.S. AS A FORCED MIGRATION.

>> Larry: WAIT.

FORCED MIGRATION?

( LAUGHTER )

THAT'S NOT EVEN REMOTELY BETTER.

IT WAS A KIDNAPPING.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

IT WASN'T A FORCED MIGRATION?

IT WAS AN ABDUCTION.

I MEAN, THIS IS A HORRIBLEMISREPRESENTING OF WHAT ACTUALLY

HAPPENED AND IT'S PROFOUNDLYFRUSTRATING TO SEE HISTORY BEING

MINIMALIZED ANYWAY.

WHO WROTE THIS TEXTBOOK ANYWAY,RUPERT MURDOCH?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

BUT McGRAW-HILL IS CHANGINGTHEIR TEXTBOOKS AND THIS WAS AN

AWESOME WIN FOR THIS TEXAS MOM.

AND ALSO AN AWESOME WIN FOR USBECAUSE SHE'S HERE RIGHT NOW.

PLEASE WELCOME RONI DEAN-BURREN.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR COMING TOTHE SHOW.

>> THANK YOU!

I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE.

>> Larry: THAT WAS SUCH ANAMAZING THING THAT HAPPENED.

WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST REACTIONWHEN YOU SAW THAT IN YOUR SON'S

TEXTBOOK?

>> WELL, I KIND OF CHUCKLEDBECAUSE OF HIS TEXT MESSAGE.

I KNEW HE WAS BEING SARCASTICWAS, "WE WAS REAL HARD WORKERS,

WEREN'T WE?"

I THOUGHT IT WAS EQUALLYRIDICULOUS.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT.

>> Larry: IT'S JUST AMAZING TOME, IT SEEMS LIKE WE'VE REPORTED

ON SOME STORIES.

DO YOU THINK THERE'S SOME SOFTSELLING ON SOME OF THE BAD PARTS

OF AMERICAN HISTORY TO MAKE KIDSFEEL BETTER?

WHAT'S GOING ON THERE?

>> I ABSOLUTELY BELIEVE THAT.

I BELIEVE WE WANT TO TELL THESESTORIES CAN WE WANT TO SOFTEN

THEM.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE WE WANT TOWRITE HISTORY WITH A PENCIL

INSTEAD OF A BLEEDING PEN.

AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

( APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: RIGHT.

BUT IT'S LIKE THEY'RE GOING TOHURT THEIR FEELINGS IF WE TELL

THE TRUTH.

>> LIKE WE DON'T WANT TO TELLTHEM THEY WERE SLAVES AND WE

KIDNAPPED THEM.

YES, YOU DID.

>> Larry: IT MAKES US BETTERTO KNOW THE TRUTH, RIGHT?

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Larry: KNOWING THOSE TRUTHSHELPS YOU MOVE PAST IT.

>> I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT FOR USTO SEE WHO WE WERE AS A COUNTRY

TO SEE WHERE WE CAME FROM, TOSEE WE DIDN'T START OFF-- WE'RE

OBSESSED WITH THE IDEA OFAMERICAN EXCEPTIONALISM, THAT

WE'RE PERFECT AND THE BOTTOMLINE IS WE HAVE SOME UGLINESS IN

OUR PAST, TOO, AND WE NEED TOOWN IT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: ABSOLUTELY.

SO TRUE.

AND ALL OF US WERE INVOLVED INTHE PAST.

BUT ALL OF US ARE INVOLVED INMAKING A BETTER FUTURE, TOO.

HOW IMPORTANT DO YOU THINK IT ISFOR PARENTS TO BE VIGILANT WITH

THEIR KIDS' EDUCATION AND THATTYPE OF THING?

>> OH, MY GOSH.

IT IS EVERYTHING.

EVERY PIECE OF PAPER THAT COMESHOME.

EVERY ASSIGNMENT.

I MEAN, DIG THROUGH THATBACKPACK.

MAKE IT YOUR BUSINESS TO FINDOUT WHAT THEY WERE TEACHING THEM

EVERY SINGLE DAY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: ABSOLUTELY.

AND TO McGRAW-HILL'S CREDIT,THEY ARE GOING TO CHANGE THIS

AND WHAT ARE THEY, LIKE-- PUTSOME STICKERS--

>> YEAH, WE'RE GOING TO DOSTICKERS IS APPARENTLY THE NEW

THING.

I GUESS TEACHERS ARE SUPPOSED TOTAKE TIME OUT OF THEIR DAY AND

STICK BOOKS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT ISSUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE.

>> Larry: WASN'T COVERING UPINFORMATION THAT GOT THEM IN

TROUBLE IN THE FIRST PLACE?

>> NO MORE STICKERS.

>> Larry: WHAT I THINK YOU ANDYOUR SON HAVE DONE IS REALLY,

REALLY SPECIAL, AND WE WANTED TOGIVE YOU A GREAT EXAMPLE OF

SOMETHING TO REMIND YOU OF THEVIGILANCE AND WE ARE PRESENTING

YOU WITH THE "THE NIGHTLY SHOW"STAY WOKE AWARD.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

"NIGHTLY SHOW" CONTRIBUTOR,JORDAN CARLOS.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

HIS NEW DOCUMENTARY "CALLME LUCKY" IS AVAILABLE NOW ON

iITUNES AND OUT ON DVD OCTOBER13.

COMEDIAN AND DIRECTOR BOBCATGOLDTHWAIT.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

AND SHE'S HOST OF THE YOUTUBESERIES, "STARE AT SHANNON," ONE

OF OUR BUDDIES, COMEDIAN SHANNONDEVIDO.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

AND FOR EVERYONE AT HOME, JOINOUR CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW ON

TWITTER @NIGHTLYSHOW USING THEHASHTAG #TONIGHTLY.

I WAS TALKING EARLIER ABOUTRUPERT MURDOCH TWEET SAYING BEN

CARSON WOULD BE A REAL BLACKPRESIDENT.

>> OH, BOY.

>> Larry: WHAT DO YOU THINK HEMEANT BY "REAL BLACK PRESIDENT?"

>> I DON'T KNOW HOW BLACK HEWANTED, YOU KNOW, THE PRESIDENT

TO BE.

DOES HE WANT LIKE, OMAR," FROM"THE WIRE."

I DON'T KNOW.

SAMUEL JACKSON?

WHICH WOULD BE ANOTHER PRESIDENTJACKSON, WHICH WOULD BE KIND OF

AWESOME.

EVERY TIME HE GOT ON AIR FORCEONE HE WOULD BE LIKE, "THERE

BETTER BE NO ( BLEEP ) SNAKES ONTHIS ( BLEEP ) PLANE."

WITH WALL STREET, HE'D BE LIKE,"WHAT'S IN YOUR WALLET?"

>> Larry: WHEN YOU HEAR "REALBLACK" WHAT DOES THAT--

>> WHEN I HEAR A WHITE GUY SAYTHAT, IT'S USUALLY A RED FLAG.

I GO, I GOTTA GET OUT OF THISCONVERSATION REALLY QUICK.

HE'S A REAL BLACK.

I DON'T REALLY WANT TO HEARRUPERT MURDOCH WEIGHING IN ON

WHAT OR WHO ANYBODY IS.

EXCEPT IF THEY'RE ANINTERNATIONALLY KNOWN PHONE

HACKER.

LIKE HIMSELF.

>> Larry: EXACTLY.

( APPLAUSE )

IT GETS ME HOW MUCH ENERGY ISSPENT TRYING TO UNPACK OBAMA'S

IDENTITY.

HE WASN'T BORN HERE.

HE'S A SECRET MUSLIM.

NOW HE'S NOT EVEN BLACK.

>> I KNOW, RIGHT?

IT'S LIKE WHARF FITS THE EPISODETHAT DAY, IT'S WHAT THEY WANT

HIM TO BE.

ONE DAY HE'S NOT BLACK ENOUGHAND ANOTHER DAY HE'S MALCOLM

X.

WHATEVER WORKS ON "REALHOUSEWIVES FOX NEWS" THAT DAY.

>> IT'S LIKE MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

AND HE DIDN'T KNOW HIS DAD.

IN AMERICA, IT DON'T GET NOBLACKER.

( APPLAUSE )

>> Larry: ALSO, BEN CARSON WASTALKING ABOUT POPEYES

ORGANIZATION, NO BLACK PERSONSAYS, "POPEYE'S ORGANIZATION."

I DON'T KNOW WHERE-- LET'S GETBISCUITS FROM THE POPEYE'S

ORGANIZATION.

>> NOBODY SAYS THAT.

YOU COULD PUT IT IN MY SATCHEL,THAT'D BE GERAT.

>> Larry: SHANNON, I KNOWYOU'VE DEALT WITH ISSUES PEOPLE

TRYING TO DEFINE YOU WHO ARE,RIGHT?

YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT THAT.

>> YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MANYPEOPLE ASK HOW BLACK I AM.

IT'S SURPRISING.

IT'S SURPRISING.

BUT, YEAH, YOU KNOW, WHEN PEOPLEARE OFTEN PORTRAYED AS SICK OR

SAD OR PATHETIC, HOPELESS. ANDPEOPLE DON'T THINK I LEAVE MY

HOUSE, LET ALONE HAVE A COLLEGEDEGREE.

IT ENDS UP WITH ME AT PANEARAFIGHTING WITH PEOPLE WHETHER OR

NOT I CAN OPEN THE DOOR BYMYSELF.

( LAUGHTER )

LIKE, I GOT IT!

I GOT IT!

NO, YOU DON'T!

YES, I DO!

WHATEVER.

>> Larry: WHY IS IT UP TOBLACK PEOPLE TO HELL THE RACIAL

DIVIDE, BOBCAT.

HOW COME YOU GUYS CAN'T DO IT?

>> YES, BOBCAT, ANSWER, ANSWER.

>> WELL, AT THE MIDDLE-AGEDWHITE GUY MEETING LAST NIGHT--

>> IN FRESNO.

>> THEY BROUGHT THIS UP.

>> AT THE POPEYE'S ORGANIZATION.

>> WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THEPOPEYE'S ORGANIZATION.

YEAH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY--IT IS STRANGE.

NOT TO MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME,BUT I'M ABOUT TO.

>> Larry: THAT'S OKAY.

>> I GOT HIT BY T.M.Z., AND THEYSAID-- THEY GO-- THEY WERE

GOING, "THEY'RE GOING TO REBOOT'POLICE ACADEMI'.

DON'T YOU THINK THE ORIGINALCAST SHOULD BE IN IT?"

I SAID, "NO A LOT OF US AREDEAD."

I SAID, IF THEY'RE GOING TOREBOOT IT, THEY SHOULD DO WHAT

THEY DID TO "21 JUMP STREET" ANDMAKE IT A COMEDY.

>> Larry: OH!

>> SHOTS FIRED ON GUTTENBERG!

>> THE REASON I'M BRINGING THISUP, WHAT I FINALLY DID SAY THAT

DIDN'T MAKE THE BROADCAST WAS IGO, "DO YOU REALLY THINK THIS IS

A GOOD TIME TO BE MAKING MOVIESABOUT WHACKY POLICEMEN?

THEY'RE KILLING CIVILIANS NOW."

>> Larry: YOU GOT REAL BLACKON THEM.

>> I DID.

>> Larry: THERE YOU GO.

NOW IT ALL MAKES SENSE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

DO YOU THINK ANYBODY WOULDSAY SOMETHING LIKE, "WE SHOULD

HAVE A REAL WOMAN IN THEREINSTEAD OF HILLARY CLINTON?"

WOULD SOMEBODY SAY THAT?

>> WHAT IS A REAL WOMAN?

>> DO YOU HAVE 25 HOURS?

>> WELL, I GOTTA TELL YOU, MYMIND WENT TO A WHOLE BUNCH OF

DIFFERENT PLACES WHEN HE SAID"REAL WOMAN."

>> Larry: WHAT DO YOU THINK OFWHEN YOU THINK REAL WOMAN?

>> I DID IMMEDIATELY HAVE A VERYSEXIST IMAGE POP IN MY HEAD AT

THAT MOMENT.

IT WASN'T PLEASANT.

IT WAS HILLARY IN A BOUSTIERRE.

THAT'S REALLY WHAT HAPPENED INMY HEAD.

>> Larry: AND THE FRONT-RUNNERFOR THE PRESIDENT IS A REAL

ASSHOLE, NOBODY HAS A PROBLEMWITH THAT.

NOBODY HAS ANY ISSUE WITH THAT.

>> I THINK IT'S A MATTER LIKE--IT'S A LOT OF VICTIM BLAMING.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

AND TO QUOTE A WHITE PERSON-- INEVER THOUGHT I WOULD DO THIS --

>> Larry: YOU 95 THOUGHT YOUWOULD QUOTE A WHITE GUY?

>> NOT ON THIS TOPIC.

BUT WE DID NOT START THE FIRE.

YOU KNOW?

IT HAS BEEN ALWAYS BURNINGSINCE, WHAT, THE WORLD'S BEEN

TURNING.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING.

OUR GREATEST POET OF ALL TIME.

>> Larry: WHAT IS THE WORSTREAL?

LIKE BERNIE SANDERS, HE'S NOT AREAL JEWISH.

>> HE'S NOT A REAL SOCIALIST.

I BET THERE ARE SOMESOCIALISTS COMPLAINING ABOUT

THAT.

>> I BET IF YOU CALLED MYMUSICAL TASTE REAL NICKELBACK-Y,

I WOULD GET REALLY OFFENDED,REALLY EMOTIONAL.

THAT AND REALLY RACIST WHENPEOPLE SAY, "HE'S REALLY

RACIST."

YEAH, HE'S RACIST BUT HE'S NOTREALLY RACIST.

THERE ARE PEOPLE IN MY FAMILYLIKE REALLY RACIST.

I DON'T WANT TO MEET THE PEOPLEIN YOUR FAMILY THAT ARE SLIGHTLY

RACIST.

MY WHITE FRIENDS ALWAYS DO THAT.

>> Larry: OKAY, WE'RE REALLYOVER TIME, SO WE'LL BE RIGHT

BACK.