The Last Temptation of Blank

  • Season 3, Ep 10
  • 10/02/2000

Jerri gets chummy with the most popular girl in school and finally gets to be cool.

DID YOU SEE THAT ?

NAILED HIMIN THE NOGGIN' !

HE WENT DOWN LIKEA TEN-DOLLAR WHORE !

OH, ORLANDO.

I TOLD YOUBRENT WAS COOL.

YOU READY TO BEHIS GIRLFRIEND ?

I DON'T KNOW, MAYBEI SHOULD HIT THE CRAPPER

AND FRESHEN UPON WHAT'S GONE SOUR.

LOOK, JERRI,

AS LONG AS YOU'RE WITH ME,YOU'LL NEVER GO BAD,

'CAUSE I'VE GOT YOUSTORED IN MY CRISPER,

AND THE "RE-FRAN-GERATOR"IS ALWAYS DIALED UP TO 9.

HEY, BRENT.

HEY, FRAN.

YOU SEEM REALLYDETACHED TODAY.

THANKS, I SEE YOU'REGOING FOR ALOOF.

NICELY DONE.

THANKS.

HAVE YOU METMY NEW FRIEND ?

NO, WHERE IS SHE ?

RIGHT HERE.

OH... YEAH.

HEY.

S'UP ?

SO, WHAT DO YOUTHINK OF HER ?

THINK OF WHO ?

JERRI.

WHO'S HE ?

OH YEAH... HEY.

( whining arousingly )

FRAN BACK.

( boom )AH !

( male student )BRENT, C'MON, WE'RE GOIN'TO THE ROOF !

WE'LL TALK TO YOULATER, BRENT.

AY-AIGHT.

I'LL NEVERBE COOL !

DON'T WORRY JERRI,

COOL STARTS HERE.

IN THE HEART ?

NO, WITH ME.

LOOK, YOUR FREEZING POINTIS WAY LOWER THAN I THOUGHT.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TOMOVE ON TO STAGE TWO.

IRIS ?

IRIS !

WHERE'D YOU GETTHAT STICKY BUN ?

AT THE STICKY BUNNERY.

THAT'S COACH WOLF'S CLASS !

THAT'S COACH WOLF !

WELCOME TO THESTICKY BUNNERY.

"BITE MY BUNS,I NEED YOUR DOUGH."

HOW MAY I SERVE YOU ?

COACH WOLF,WHAT'S THE "DEALIE-YO" ?

WHAT CANI SAY ONYX ?

THE PAY'S BETTER,AND THEY'VE GOT CHILD CARE.

CHILD CARE,THAT'S MADNESS !

IS THEREA PROBLEM HERE ?

CASSIE,WHAT'S HAPPENING ?

WHAT'S HAPPENING ?

WHAT'S HAPPENING ISWE'RE NOT MOVING ANY BUNS !

I DEMAND--

LOOK, DO YOU WANTA BUN OR NOT ?

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE !

GIVE ME ABAKER'S DOZEN.

HILLARY, LEE,

A BUNNERY INOUR HIGH SCHOOL ?

IT JUST DOESN'TMAKE ANY SENSE !

YEAH, BUT IT DOES MAKES SENSEIN A STRIP MALL.

SO YOU ARECLOSING MY SCHOOL !

ONYX, WHERE ARE YOUGETTING THIS ?

NOW PLEASE READ NOTHINGINTO THIS NEXT STATEMENT:

WE'LL NEED YOU TOCLEAN OUT YOUR OFFICE.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THIS !

OH, WELCOME TOTHE DRY CLEANERIE.

MAY I HELP YOU ?

( flame boiling )

THESE WHISKERS AREJUST NOT COMING OFF.GOD, SERIOUSLY.

WE'LL NEED A SHOVELFOR HER NOSE HAIR.

STILL !STILL !

WILL YOU JUST KEEP--STEADY !

UGGHH !

NOTHING SEEMSTO BE TAKING.

LET'S GO BACK IN.

IT'S ALL THIS GREASE.

FACE LOOKS LIKEA CHICKEN WING.

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

OH MY GOD !

SOMEHOW HER PLAINNESSWON'T LET GO.

WHY ARE YOUFIGHTING US, JERRI ?

LET GO, JERRI !

SURRENDER TOTHE COOL SIDE !

( screaming )YAAAAAAAAAAAA !

OUCH !THERE'S PLENTY OF STUFFWE CAN DO TOGETHER !

WHY CAN'T WE ALLJUST GET ALONG ?

NO, WE CAN'T !

JERRI, YOU'RE GONNAHAVE TO CHOOSE

WHETHER TO STAY HERE ANDBE UNCOOL IN LOSER LAND,

OR TO FOLLOW MEINTO "FRAN-TARCTICA".

AHHHHHHHH !

GIMME THOSE.

I JUST REALIZED THAT...

I'M NOT BEINGTRUE TO MYSELF.

FRAN...

I WON'T GOWITH YOU.

BECAUSE I'D RATHER BE

UNHAPPY AND PLAINWITH AVERAGE FRIENDS

THAN BE HAPPYAND BEAUTIFUL

WITH FRIENDS THAT AREBETTER THAN MY OLD ONES.

I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'SJUST THE WAY I FEEL !

I'M COOLER THAN YOU,"FRANTIC",

AND YOU WANNAKNOW WHY ?

BECAUSE I'M NOT.

THINK ABOUT IT,I HAVEN'T.

I JUST WANNA KNOWONE THING, JERRI BLANK.

HOW'D YOU GETSUCH A BIG HEART ?

KAZA-KAZA-WA ?

I SEE NOW THATYOU ARE COOLER THAN ME.

I DON'T TREATPEOPLE VERY WELL,

AND THAT'S NOT VERY COOL.

SO IF YOU'LLEXCUSE ME,

I HAVE SOMELEARNING TO DO.

I'M GOING TO GO LIVE INTHE GUTTER FOR 32 YEARS

AND JUST FIND OUTWHAT MAKES YOU TICK.

WELL I'M OFFTO BE A WHORE !

SHE'S GONNA MAKEA CHUNK OF CHANGE.

OH, FOR THE FIRST TIMEIN MY LIFE

I MADE THE RIGHT DECISION !

AND IT'S ALL BECAUSEOF FLATPOINT HIGH.

FLATPOINT FOREVER !

I MISSED YOU GUYS !

IT IS OVER !THE END OF ALL THINGS !

THE DAY OF WRATH,LONG FORETOLD.

THE SHEPHERDHAS BEEN STRUCK

AND THE SHEEPSHALL BE SCATTERED !

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?

HOW MUCH PLAINERCAN I SAY IT ?

THEY'VE TURNED THE SCHOOLINTO A STRIP MALL.

IT'S OVER !

KICK 'EM, DONKS !

( evil cackle )

SWEET BABY JESUS,WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING ?

ONYX !

YOU WILL NEVER TURN FLATPOINTINTO A STRIP MALL NOW !

HA HA HA !

WE WEREN'T GOING TO TURN ITINTO A STRIP MALL !

WE WEREN'T ?

YEAH, WE WERE.

( Noblet )GET IN THERE,GET IN !

YOU'LL BE SAFEIN THERE !

HURRY UP !GET YOUR MONKEY ASS OUT !

C'MON, GET OUT...

JERRI !

( cackling )

( explosion )

( boom )

( glass breaking )

I LOVE THE SMELL OFFLAMING STICKY BUNS.

WE SURESENT A MESSAGE,

AND WE'LL BE SHOUTINGTHAT MESSAGE,

EVEN FROM OURJAIL CELLS.

JAIL, WHAT DO YOUMEAN "JAIL" ?

WELL, WE DID BURN DOWNA SCHOOL AND...

KILL A FEW PEOPLE.

OH YEAH,WE'RE GOIN' TO JAIL.

I DON'T THINKSO BOYS !

YOU'RE COMIN'WITH ME.

BACK TO THE STREETS

WHERE WE'LL FIGHT LIKEDOGS FOR SCRAPS OF FOOD

AND WE'LL SELLOUR BODIES FOR SMACK.

BEATS TEACHIN'.

LEAD ON YOUSTUPID, JUNKIE WHORE !

( police sirens )

I CAN'T RUNIN THESE SHOES !

( more explosions )

( bell ringing )

BUT LET'S WAKE UP !

I SPEAK,YOU LISTEN.

GIMME THAT,GIVE ME THAT !

( crashing window )

LANCE, LIGHTS.

OKAY, NOW,

WE ARE PRIVILEGED TO HAVEA PROFESSIONAL ARTIST

HELPING US OUT TODAY.

FIRST UP...

ARMAGEDDON.

WHAT IS THAT ?

ARMAGEDDON.

NO, IT'S NOT.

WHAT DO I CARE,I'M A BUDDHIST.

FRAN, YOU'RE LATE !

AM I ?

( female student )MY EYE !

OR IS THE REST OFTHE WORLD EARLY ?

THAT WAS PRETTY COOL.

FRAN, THAT WAS THECOOLEST COMEBACK EVER.

WE ARE SO COOL !

YES, I AM.

WHAT ABOUT ME ?I'M COOL.

THE ONLY REASONYOU'RE COOL

IS THAT YOU'REA LITTLE SATELLITE

ORBITING THEPLANET FROSTY.

SURFACE TEMPERATURE...

ZERO DEGREES"FRAN-INHEIT".

IF I WASN'TSO SHALLOW,

I WOULD BEDEEPLY INSULTED.

I COULD MAKEANYONE COOL.

ANYONE ?ANYONE.

WHAT ABOUT...

OH, MY DEAR LORD.AH--

JERRI BLANK !

SURE !BRING IT ON.

I'LL MAKEJERRI BLANK

SO COOL THAT...

BRENT BROOKS WILLASK HER OUT BY FRIDAY.

I STAKE MY COOLON IT.

( Noblet )OKAY, FINE,SHUT UP, SHUT UP.

LANCE, LIGHTS !

WELL, THESEWERE USELESS !

I GUESS YOU DON'T UNDERSTANDARTISTIC INTERPRETATION !

I UNDERSTAND CRAP !

ALL RIGHT, GET OUT,CLASS IS OVER.

THE BELL DIDN'TEVEN RING.

BRRRIIINNG !

BRRRRRRRRRIINNG !

HILLARY, LEE.

WHY ALLTHE FORMALITIES ?

I'VE ALWAYS HADA GOOD RELATIONSHIP

WITH YOU PEOPLE FROMTHE SCHOOL BOARD.

LOOK, ONYX,NUMBERS DON'T LIE.

THIS SCHOOL JUST ISN'TTURNING A PROFIT.

BUT IT'S A PUBLIC SCHOOL !

SO IS A PRIVATELY-HELDCORPORATION,

AND THEY MAKE MONEY.

WELL, WHAT CAN I DO ?

OH ONYX, NOWNOBODY SAID ANYTHING

ABOUT CLOSINGTHE SCHOOL.( sardonic cackle )OH NO !

CLOSE MY SCHOOL ?

LOOK, HILLARY,IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

NOBODY EVEN KNOWSTHE SCHOOL IS HERE.

MAYBE WE CAN PROMOTE IT !

PROMOTING SOMETHINGCOSTS MONEY,

WE WANNA MAKE MONEY.

ARE YOU CLOSINGMY SCHOOL !?

( smack )

I'M INSULTED.

IF WE WERE GOING TOCLOSE THE SCHOOL,

AND TURN THIS SPACEINTO A STRIP MALL,

DON'T YOU THINKWE'D TELL YOU ?

YOU'RE RIGHT,I GOT SPOOKED.

HA HA HA, BOO !

WHY DON'T WECHANGE GEARS,

TALK ABOUT THE BUS SITUATIONFOR NEXT YEAR...

YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T WORRYSO MUCH ABOUT NEXT YEAR.

YEAH, I WOULDJUST FOCUS ON

THE LAST FEW DAYSOF THIS YEAR.

TRY TO ENJOY YOURSELF,

SAY GOODBYETO EVERYBODY.

LEE.HILL.

MY SCHOOL !

Loading...