Ali Siddiq

  • Season 5, Ep 7
  • 09/16/2016

Ali Siddiq tells a story about his fiercely competitive daughter, faces the hard truth about his son and describes how living in a white neighborhood has changed him.

I've been thinkingabout this, too.

Father's Day

is the worst holidayin the world.

I've done the research.

I already know.

Let me tell you something.

Mother's Dayis the second-most celebrated

holiday in the world.

Christmas is first.

So, it's...That means it's Jesus,

then your mama.

You know where Father's Dayfall at?

Number 20.

I can't thinkof 18 other holidays.


Do you realize

Halloween is number six?

So, that meansghosts and goblins

go before fathers?

Arbor Day is number 13.

I don't even knowwhat that is.

I just know it comebefore me.

That's crazy.

Columbus Day is number 16.

Celebrating Columbus Day

is like celebrating somebodyfinding money in your house.

Where you get that $50 from?

I discovered itin your kitchen.


Father's... and I...and it's mothers' fault,

it's mothers' fault,'cause see,

when Mother's Day come around,

fathers goin their pocket deep.

Go in their pocket deep.

Hey, I want to get my mamasomething, you...

cash that money out.

You know what mothers do?

"Hey, I want to getDaddy something.

"Well, go in that car,there's some change

in my little cup holderin there."

Don't nobody even have a sale

for Father's Day--who has a Father's Day sale?

Mother's Day sale,it's like 30 of them.

Everybody haveMother's Day sale.

Don't nobody haveno Father's Day sale.

Who has M--Father's Day sale?

The Dollar Store.

That's how you get water hose

and jumper cablesfor Father's--

And the store's notice,'cause now, the store got

a little trick for fathers.

They make little packages,where they, it's a little box.

It give you suspenders,socks, and a shirt.

One box.

And you know what kids do?

They give you that stuffthroughout the year.

They give that shirtfor Father's Day,

them socks for your birthday,

and then they just randomlygive you something else

as, you know,they think about it.

It's crazy.Father's Day sucks.

And I'm a father.

I did all this workto be a father,

for it to suck.

Let me tell you what I learnedabout white people.

And I want all of the racesto take this,

'cause, see,it's been a lot of years

since we didn't had a,a good stereotype.


Lot of stereotypes dumb.

But this one, right here?

Oh, I did the research.

Oh, I did the research.

And they're not gonna lie,'cause they in here.

Now, the good stereotypeabout white people now.

Did the research.

White people love trail mix.

Oh, they love it.Love it.

Eat it every day.

They love it.

Look at them, look at 'em,and they're like,

"Yes, I did have trail mix."

Got me eating it.

Hate trail mix.

Used to hate it.

You know, black people don'tlike stuff without salt on it.

We eating trail mix,it takes, like--

it got too much nutrients here.

What's all these vitaminsand minerals in this?