March 19, 2015 - Race, Gender & Superheroes

  • 03/19/2015

Larry addresses the backlash against culturally diverse superheroes with Jean Grae, Mike Lawrence, Phil Jimenez and Sana Amanat.

>> Larry: TONIGHTLY, WE'RETALKING SUPERHEROES AND

COMICS -- HEY,BASEMENT-DWELLERS, TELL MOM SHE

CAN TUCK YOU IN LATER!

COMIC BOOKS ARE GETTING MORE ANDMORE DIVERSE!

CONGRATULATIONS, SUPERFRIENDS!

SOON YOUR HALL OF JUSTICE ISGOING TO LOOK LIKE THE LINE AT

THE DMV.

WHY IS A FEMALE SUPERHERO OFCOLOR SUCH A BIG DEAL?

WE'VE HAD ONE SINCE THEMID-'80s!

WE'RE TALKING RACE, GENDER ANDPOP CULTURE -- SO PUT ON YOUR

ZIT CREAM AND DOUBLE-PUMP THOSEINHALERS, IN OTHER WORDS!

THIS IS THE "THE NIGHTLY SHOW"!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Captioning sponsored by

>> Larry: THANK YOU, THANK YOUVERY MUCH!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING LARRY)>> Larry: THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

WELCOME TO THE "THE NIGHTLYSHOW."

I'M LARRY WILMORE.

IT'S THURSDAY NERDSDAY!

YEAH!

SO BUCKLE IN, NERDS, BECAUSETHERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN YOUR

WORLD, RESPECTED NEWSORGANIZATION TMZ HAPPENED TO

BUMP INTO LATINA ACTRESSMICHELLE RODRIGUEZ AND ASKED HER

ABOUT RUMORS SHE MIGHT PLAY THEGREEN LANTERN.

>> I THINK IT'S SO STUPID FOR,LIKE, EVERYBODY BECAUSE OF THIS

WHOLE, LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE,MINORITIES IN HOLLYWOOD THING.

IT'S, LIKE, STOP STEALING, YOUKNOW, ALL THE WHITE PEOPLE'S

SUPERHEROES, LIKE MAKE UP YOUROWN.

>> Larry: STEALING THE WHITEPEOPLE'S SUPERHEROES?

YEAH, THAT'S THE TALK I HAVEWITH MY SON.

SON...

DON'T STEAL.

I KNOW YOU LIKE SPIDERMAN, BUTTHAT'S THE WHITE MAN'S

SUPERHERO.

WE HAVE GIZZARDMAN.

AFTER A LOT OF PEOPLE WEREOFFENDED BY HER COMMENTS, SHE

GOT ON Facebook TO TRY TOCLEAN THINGS UP.

>> I THINK THAT PEOPLE SHOULDSTOP BEING LAZY, AND THAT'S WHAT

I MEANT BY MY COMMENT.

AND, YOU KNOW, I'M TAKING IT TOHEART AS WELL AND I'M

CONSIDERING THIS WHILE I AM OUTTHERE COMING UP WITH PROJECTS TO

DO AND THINGS TO WRITE.

>> Larry: OKAY.

I SEE YOUR POINT.

MINORITIES SHOULD COME UP WITHORIGINAL PROJECTS INSTEAD OF

RELYING ON LAZY FRANCHISES.

BY THE WAY, MAKE SURE YOU CATCHMICHELLE IN THE SEVENTH

INSTALLMENT OF THE "FAST ANDFURIOUS" FRANCHISE, "FURIOUS 7",

OUT APRIL 3rd!

(APPLAUSE)WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING THAT

WOULD PISS MICHELLE OFF.

THERE'S BEEN SOME LAZY CASTINGTALK ABOUT THE NEW SPIDERMAN.

>> LISTEN, THIS IS NOT SET INSTONE, GUYS, BUT I'M TELLING YOU

RIGHT NOW, SPIDERMAN'S GOING TOBE MOST LIKELY BLACK.

BUT THERE IS A CHANCE HE COULDALSO BE LATINO.

>> Larry: OH.

(LAUGHTER)WELL!

THE FANS MAY NOT LIKE THIS, BUTI TELL YOU WHO WILL LIKE THIS --

MARY JANE.

ONCE YOU GO BLACK SPIDERMAN...

YOU'LL HAVE TO FINISH THAT.

(LAUGHTER)ANOTHER THING ROCKING THE

NERD-IVERSE -- THE ALL-FEMALEGHOSTBUSTERS REMAKE.

APPARENTLY NERDS AREN'T AFRAIDOF GHOSTS, BUT THEY SEEM TO BE

FRIGHTENED BY THE LADIES.

>> BUT THERE IS BEEN SOME HARSHBACKLASH ONLINE ABOUT THE

UPCOMING ESTROGEN POWEREDGHOSTBUSTERS STARRING

McCARTHY, KRISTEN WIIG, KATEMcKINNON AND LESLIE JONES.

ANGRY FANS OF THE ORIGINAL FILMSTORMED SOCIAL MEDIA ATTACKING

THE REMAKE'S DIRECTOR, PAULFEIG.

>> Larry: THAT'S HOW NERDSRIOT, BY THE WAY.

THEY STORM SOCIAL MEDIA.

"THEY BURNT DOWN TUMBLR, MAN!

WHY WOULD THEY BURN DOWN THEIROWN?"

BEFORE WE ALL GET MAD AT NERDS,LET ME SEE IF I CAN EXPLAIN IT

TO YOU.

NERDS DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITHWOMEN, THEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH

CHANGE.

I'LL GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE.

NERDS ARE UPSET AT BLACK STORMTROOPERS IN THE "STAR WARS"

MOVIE.

DO THEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ASTORM TROOPER BEING BLACK?

NO, THEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUCHANGING THEIR DEFINITION OF A

STORM TROOPER.

LET ME BE A LITTLE CLEARER -- IFTHE FIRST TIME YOU INTRODUCE

OATMEAL TO A NERD, IT HAS MAPLESYRUP IN IT, IT BETTER HAVE

MAPLE SYRUP IN IT EVERY(BLEEP)ING TIME OR IT'S NOT

OATMEAL.

THAT'S YOUR FAULT.

NOW, IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE IT,YOU NEED SOMEBODY WHO'S PART OF

YOUR ORIGIN STORY TO EXPLAINTHAT CHANGE.

LIKE WHEN STAR TREK CHANGEDTHEIR ORIGIN STORY, THEY HAD THE

ORIGINAL SPOCK COME BACK TOEXPLAIN IT TO THE NEW SPOCK.

THAT'S WHY NERDS WERE COOL WITHIT

WELL, THEY WEREN'T COOL, BUT YOUUNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING.

SO THE ONLY WAY TO CALM NERDSABOUT BLACK STORM TROOPERS ISN'T

TO RECAST "STAR WARS" BUT TOHAVE A CHERISHED CHARACTER

EXPLAIN.

EXAMPLE -- LANDO CARLISSIANCOULD BE TALKING TO ADMIRAL

AKBAR -- "CALM DOWN, EVERYBODY.

IT'S A BLACK STORM TROOPER.

IT WASN'T MY FAULT!"OR OBI-WAN -- "THIS IS NOT THE

BLACK STORM TROOPER YOU'RELOOKING FOR.

MOVE ALONG.

MOVE ALONG ."

OR DARTH VADER -- "I AM YOURFATHER AND THE

STORM TROOPER IS A BROTHER ANDTHIS IS CNN ."

(APPLAUSE)OR YODA -- "STORM TROOPER NEGRO!

(LAUGHS)OKAY IT IS.

BUT LADY GHOST BUSTER, WEIRD ITIS ."

HERE TO SHED MORE LIGHT ON THISSITUATION IS COMIC BOOK NERD AND

BLACK GUY MIKE YARD.

MIKE, WELCOME TO THE SHOW.

>> MIKE: THANKS FOR HAVING ME,LARRY.

>> Larry: SO WHY IS DIVERSITYIN SUPERHERO MOVIES SO

CONTROVERSIAL?

I HEARD RUMORS OF A BLACKBATMAN.

HOW COME THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN?

>> MIKE: NO, THAT DID HAPPEN,LARRY.

IT WAS ACTUALLY A BIG BREAK FORME.

I GOT TO PLAY BATMAN!

>> Larry: WAIT, THIS ISUNBELIEVABLE.

YOU PLAYED BATMAN?

>> MIKE: YEAH, WANT TO SEE IT?

>> Larry: HELL, YEAH, I WANTTO SEE IT.

>> MIKE: ALRIGHT, LET'S TAKE ALOOK.

♪♪>> WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THE

GUY'S GOING TO SHOW?

>> DON'T WORRY, HE'LL BE HERE.

♪♪COMMISSIONER GORDON, I'M HERE.

(BLEEP)!

I'M ON YOUR SIDE!

(SOUNDS OF ARGUMENT ANDFIGHTING)

THIS IS NOT WHAT THE SIGNAL ISFOR!

>> Larry: WOW.

THAT WAS SHORT.

WAS THAT THE TRAILER?

>> MIKE: NO, THAT WAS THE FULLMOVIE, LARRY.

>> Larry: OH, I KNOW WHATHAPPENED THERE, MIKE.

THEY NEEDED MICHAEL KEATON, ABELOVED BATMAN, TO COME BACK AND

EXPLAIN THE CHANGES IN THE CAPECRUSADER'S ORIGIN STORY.

>> MIKE: NAH.

BLACK MAN LANDS ON A ROOF IN AMASK, IT DOESN'T TAKE LONG FOR

BAD (BLEEP) TO START HAPPENING.

>> Larry: I FEEL CHEATED.

I WANTED TO SEE MORE!

>> MIKE: ME, TOO!

HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN GOING DOWNTO HIS BAT CAVE, MAKING LOVE TO

RIHANNA AS BAT GIRL, SMOKING BATBLUNTS BECAUSE YOU KNOW BRUCE

WAYNE GETS THAT GOOD SCARECROWWEED.

>> Larry: AND FIGHTING CRIME.

MIKE: TIME PERMITTING.

>> Larry: WELL, WHAT'S NEXT?

ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE SURE THEYHAVE A BELOVED CHARACTER TO

EXPLAIN THE CHANGE FOR YOUR NEXTPART?

>> MIKE: NOPE.

NOT WITH MY NEW ROLE.

LET'S SEE IF THOSE COPS CANCATCH BLACK FLASH.

>> Larry: SOUNDS SMART.

MIKE YARD, EVERYBODY!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT RACE, GENDERAND SUPERHEROES.

JOINING ME ON THE PANEL TONIGHT:HIP-HOP ARTIST AND COMIC BOOK

AFICIONADO, JEAN GRAE.

YOU CAN SEE HIM AT THE KENNEDYCENTER IN WASHINGTON, D.C. ON

MARCH 27.

COMEDIAN AND HOST OF THE NERD OFMOUTH PODCAST, MIKE LAWRENCE,

HE'S WRITTEN AND DRAWN EVERYCHARACTER FROM BATMAN AND WONDER

WOMAN TO SPIDERMAN AND THE XMEN,COMIC BOOK ARTIST PHIL JIMENEZ

AND DIRECTOR OF CONTENT ANDCHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AT MARVEL

COMICS AND CO-CREATOR OF THEMUSLIM "MS. MARVEL" COMIC, SANA

AMANAT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> YOU DID IT!

>> Larry: THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

LET'S GET TO IT. THERE'S BEEN SOMANY CHANGES OVER THE YEARS

RACE AND GENDER WITH COMIC BOOKCHARACTERS

NOT EVERYONE'S HAPPY ABOUT ITFOR DIFFERENT REASONS

I WAS TALKING ABOUT RESISTANCETO CHANGE FOR EXAMPLE, THE "STAR

WARS" EXAMPLE. WHAT'S THE REALPROBLEM HERE? IS IT

RACISM, SEXISM OR NERDISM?

>> ALL OF THE ABOVE.

YOU CAN'T LIMIT IT TO ONEPARTICULAR THING.

I THINK PEOPLE ARE JUST AFRAIDOF CHANGE AND THEY DON'T LIKE IT

WHEN THEIR TOYS ARE PLAYED WITH.

I DON'T.

I MEAN, I LIKE MY BARBIES.

I STILL HAVE THEM.

>> Larry: IT'S A PERSONALTHING, IT'S YOUR TOY BOX.

>> I LIKE MY STUFF, EXACTLY.

THE REASON IT'S IMPORTANT ISWE'RE TRYING TO SAY WE'RE NOT

TRYING TO TAKE AWAY YOUR TOYS,WE'RE JUST SHOWING THEM IN A

DIFFERENT LIGHT.

>> THE THING NO NERD WANTS TOADMIT IS MOST OF THE STUFF WE

CHERISHED WASN'T AS GOOD AS WEREMEMBERED IT.

(LAUGHTER)LIKE WHEN I SAW THE NEW NINJA

TURTLES, I SAID, THIS ISN'T MYNINJA TURTLES BECAUSE MY NINJA

TURTLES HAD VANILLA ICE AND ITWAS PURE AND MY PARENTS WERE

STILL TOGETHER!

>> Larry: THAT WOULD BE A SADMEMORY OF YOUR NINJA TURTLES!

GO AHEAD.

>> SEEMS TO ME WE WOULDPARTITION RACE, GENDER AND NERD

AS IF THEY WERE THIS DISTINCTTHING.

ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE ACOMBINATION OF EXPERIENCES AND

IDEOLOGY.

>> Larry: YOU'RE SAYINGEVERYBODY HAS A NERD IN THEM?

>> OH, YES.

YES! BUT THE IDEA THAT BEING ANERD IS SOMEHOW

SEPARATE FROM ONE'S

RELIGIOUS OR MORAL OR POLITICALBELIEFS IS STRANGE TO ME.

WE ALL BRING EVERYTHING TO OURDECISION MAKING ON

A DAILY BASIS.

>> Larry: NOT SO MUCH I'MMAKING A DISTINCTION BETWEEN A

NERD BEING SEPARATE FROM THESETHINGS, I'M TRYING TO GET TO

WHAT IS THE CAUSE TO THERESISTANT TO THE CHANGE?

SHOULD THERE BE ILLUSTRATIONWITHOUT REPRESENTATION?

(LAUGHTER)GETTING MILITANT ABOUT IT.

>> SOUNDS GOOD!

NO, INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT, AND,YOU KNOW, I GREW UP NEXT DOOR TO

A COMIC BOOK STORE AND I HAVE ABROTHER WHO IS SIX YEARS OLDER

THAN ME AND HE WAS REALLY INTOCOMICS WHICH MEANT I WAS REALLY

INTO COMICS, WHICH WAS GREAT,BUT FOR ME I THINK IT INCLUDED

SUPERHEROES AND COMICS BUT ALSOTVs AND ROLE MODELS THAT I

DIDN'T GET TO SEE ANYONE WHOLOOKED LIKE OR REPRESENTED ME.

I WAS FROM SOUTH AFRICA.

EVERYONE WAS, LIKE, STORM! SOUTHAFRICA, RIGHT!

WHICH IS A REASON I DIDN'TCHOOSE THAT NAME.

>> Larry: DID YOU HAVE ANYBODYYOU IDENTIFIED WITH, MIKE?

>> I IDENTIFIED WITH MAGNETOBECAUSE I'M A JEW WHO NATURALLY

REPELS PEOPLE(LAUGHTER)

AND I WAS UPSET BECAUSE I GO SEEX-MEN FIRST CLASS AND I'M, LIKE,

YEAH, MAGNETO GOING TO BE IN ITAND HE'S PLAYED BY A GERMAN!

FASSBENDER! WHICH SOUNDS LIKESOMETHING

THE GERMANS YELLED AT US IN THECAMPS.

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: ANY RESITANCE TO

CREATING A MUSLIM CHARACTER?

>> I THINK PEOPLE WERE CONFUSEDABOUT IT.

NOT MUCH RESISTANT AT A MARVELBECAUSE PEOPLE WERE EXCITED AND

SAID THIS IS A FUNDAMENTALLYMARVEL IDEA.

BECAUSE KAMALA KHAN IS JUST LIKEPETER PARKER. BUT AT THE END OF

THE DAY, THE RESPONSE WE HAD,APPARENTLY I'M TRYING

TO CONVERT PEOPLE TO ISLAM. YOUGUYS ARE ALL MUSLIM NOW, I

TRICKED YOU>> AND YOUR SUPERHERO HAS

PROBLEMS, LIKE IF YOU'VE GOT TOSTOP AND PRAY FIVE TIMES A

DAY -->> IT'S TOUGH, MAN.

EATING.

GETS IN THE WAY OF A LOT OFTHINGS.

>> Larry: YOUR SUPERHEROCANNOT HAVE PORK?

>> SHE CANNOT HAVE BACON!

>> Larry: I KNOW!

WHAT EXACTLY ARE HER POWERS?

>> THAT IS HER KRYPTONITE.

(LAUGHTER)BUT I THINK THAT CHARACTER

RESONATED WITH A LOT OF PEOPLEBECAUSE SHE'S JUST SOME GIRL WHO

HAPPENS TO BE MUSLIM WHO WANTSTO BE A GOOD PERSON AND THEN

ALSO, LIKE, DATE SOME DUDES ANDEAT SOME CHEESEBURGERS.

THAT'S WHY I LOVE HER.

THAT'S MY LIFE.

>> I WAS RAISED VERY, VERYSTRICT MUSLIM AND I LIKE DATING

DUDES AND EATING CHEESEBURGERS.

>> CHEESEBURGERS AND DATES.>> Larry: THE LESSON IS DON'T

WRITE WHAT YOUKNOW, IT'S WHAT YOU WANT.

>> DATING AND CHEESEBURGERS.

I'M ALL OVER BACON, I LOVEIT!

>> THE WEIRD THING TO ME ISKAMALA KHAN LIVES IN NEW JERSEY.

HOW CAN YOU LIVE IN A PLACETHAT'S ALREADY DOOMED?

>> THE MOST HATEMAIL WE GOT

WAS THE FACT SHE WAS FROMNEW JERSEY.

>> AND SHE DIDN'T LISTEN TO ONEBON JOVI SONG!

COME ON!

>> WE'RE TRYING TO SAVE FACE FORNEW JERSEY.

>> Larry: WE'LL TALK MOREABOUT THIS.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT, WELCOMEBACK TO MY DIABOLICAL LAIR OF

DASTARDLY EVIL BAD STUFF.

(LAUGHTER)LARRY WILMORE?

I DROPPED HIM INTO A VOLCANO.

I AM THE EVIL DR. RACE CARD,DESTROYING THE WHITE MAN WITH

EACH FLICK OF THE WRIST.

EACH OF OUR PANELISTS HAS ANENVELOPE IN FRONT OF THEM AND

INSIDE THEY'LL FIND THEIRSUPERHERO NAME, THEIR TWO

SUPERPOWERS AND THEIR ONEWEAKNESS.

BUT DR. RACE CARD ISN'T GOING TOMAKE IT EASY FOR THESE HEROES.

I'M GOING TO GIVE THEM EACH ASCENARIO THAT WILL HOPEFULLY

CRUSH THEM.

IF THEY DEFEAT ME, THEY GET ALITTLE "KEEP IT 100" CAPE --

VERY CUTE --(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

AND IF I DEFEAT THEM, WHICH IWILL, I WILL TURN YOU BACK INTO

AN ORDINARY, PUNY HUMAN WITH MYRAY GUN OF DOOM!

(LAUGHTER)>> I FEEL LIKE THIS IS HOW --

>> Larry: QUIET!

SILENCE!

(LAUGHTER)THE ONE THEY CALL SANA, REVEAL

YOUR SECRET IDENTITY!

>> OKAY, MY SECRET IDENTITY -->> Larry: READ IT, PLEASE.

I AM THETWIZZLER.

I HAVE THE POWER TO CREATEANYTHING OUT OF LICORICE.

INSTANTLY. OH MY GOD, THIS IS MYDREAM. I ALSO HAVE SUPER

STRENGTH. MY ONE WEAKNESS ISHIPPOPOTAMI.

>> Larry: THAT WOULD BE THEPLURAL OF HIPPOPOTAMUS!

OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: TWIZZLER, I'VE

CAPTURED MS. MARVEL AND PUSHEDHER INTO MY PATENTED HIPPO PIT.

I'VE ALSO PUSHED A BUS FULL OFBLACK SCHOOL CHILDREN INTO MY

OTHER HIPPO PIT.

I'VE GOT HIPPO PITS ALL OVERTHIS TOWN!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

WHO DO YOU SAVE FIRST, THE FIRSTFEMALE MUSLIM SUPERHERO OR THE

NON-FICTIONAL BLACK SCHOOLCHILDREN, AND HOW DO YOU SAVE

THEM?

>> OKAY.

IT WILL DEFINITELY BE THE BLACKSCHOOL CHILDREN.

I LOVE YOU KAMALI KHAN BUT IKNOW YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS

>> Larry: YOU'D THROW YOUR OWNSUPERHERO UNDER THE BUS?

>> YES.

>> Larry: ANYONE THAT WOULD DOTHAT TO BLACK CHILDREN, I HAVE

TO GIVE THEM A CAPE!

PHIL, WHICH SUPERHERO ARE YOU?

>> LET ME SEE... I AM THECUISINART KID. I CAN MAKE

FOOD SO MOUTHWATERING THAT IT'SDISTRACTING

AND I CAN ALSO CONTROL THEWEATHER. MY ONE WEAKNESS IS

AVOCADOS.>> Larry: EXCELLENT

I'VE TAKEN TWOPRECIOUS PEOPLE PRISONER.

WONDER WOMAN AND CHANNING TATUM.

I'VE SUBMERGED WONDER WOMAN IN AVAT OF GUACAMOLE AND I'VE DUNKED

THE MAGNIFICENT TATUM IN AHUMAN-SIZED AVOCADO TACO SALAD.

WHO DO YOU SAVE?

AND KEEP IN MIND, CHANNING TATUMIS REAL AND HELPS PEOPLE EVERY

DAY BY JUST BEING HIMSELF,BWAHAHAHHAA!

>> I WAS GOING TO SAY MY AUNTWOULD HAVE TO BE CHANNING TATUM

BECAUSE THERE'S GOING TO BE ALOT OF MEAT IN AT TACO SALAD.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> Larry: I FEEL I MUST

GIVE YOU ONE OF THESE AS WELL!

MIKE, TELL US YOUR SECRETIDENTITY!

>> I'M ADMIRAL BEARDO.

I CAN BUILD REALLY DELIGHTFULFURNITURE WITH MY MIND.

I CAN ALSO FLY.

MY ONE WEAKNESS, HALLE BERRY.

>> ISN'T THAT EVERYBODY'S?

>> Larry: HMM...

WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON.

MY HENCHWOMAN HALLE BERRY HASKIDNAPPED SOME OF YOUR GREATEST

INFLUENCES, PATTON OSWALT ANDANYONE WHO EVER WROTE FOR THE

SIMPSONS, AND TRAPPED THEM INHER BASEMENT FILLED WITH

MEMENTOS FROM THE SET OF"CATWOMAN."

AND ALSO MENTOS, THE FRESHMAKER.

WHO DO YOU SAVE AND HOW DO YOUSAVE THEM?

AND DID I MENTION --BWAWAWAWAWAWAWAHA!

>> I BELIEVE THAT I COULD SAVEEVERYONE EXCEPT I WOULD NOT SAVE

HALLE BERRY.

WHAT I WOULD DO IS MAKE HERWATCH HER PERFORMANCE IN STORM

AND I WOULD HURT HER -->> Larry: ANY NEGATIVE

COMMENTS ABOUT HALLE BERRY WILLALWAYS BE MET WITH THAT!

YES!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)JEAN GRAE, WHAT IS YOUR

SUPERHERO NAME?

>> OH, BOY...

OH!

MY SUPERHERO NAME IS JEAN GRAE.

DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.

MY POWERS ARE TELEPATHY ANDTELEKINESIS AND I CAN SPEAK TO

ANIMALS.

MY ONE WEAKNESS IS THAT CYCLOPSIS MY BOYFRIEND AND HE'S THE

OBJECTIVELY THE WORST X-MANTHERE IS!

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: DO YOU FIND IT

IRONIC THAT WITH YOUR POWERS OFTELEPATHY YOU DIDN'T ALREADY

KNOW YOUR SUPERPOWER?

>> SLIGHTLY, BUT I HAVEN'T -->> Larry: ALL RIGHT, SILENCE!

I'M CONVINCED YOUR -- SORRY.

I'VE CONVINCED YOUR DUMBBOYFRIEND CYCLOPS TO TAKE YOU

OUT ON A DATE.

HE'S TAKING YOU TO APPLEBEE'S.

MEANWHILE, THERE'S A FIRE AT THEX-MANSION, AND PROFESSOR X AND

WOLVERINE ARE BOTH TRAPPED.

CYCLOPS JUST ORDERED THEAPPETIZERS.

HOW DO YOU GET OUT OF THE DATE,WHO DO YOU SAVE, AND HOW DO YOU

SAVE THEM?

AND WHAT ARE THE APPETIZERS?

>> THE APPETIZERS ARE ALLCOVERED IN CHEESE BECAUSE THAT'S

WHAT APPLEBEE'S DOES, THEY COVEREVERYTHING IN CHEESE.

>> THAT IS ENOUGH, JEAN GRAE!THE APPLEBEE'S ANSWER WILL

SUFFICE! I LOVE APPLEBEE'S!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK!

>> Larry: THAT'S ALL THE TIMEWE HAVE FOR TONIGHT.

I WANT TO THANK OUR PANELISTSSANA AMANAT, JEAN GRAE, PHIL

JIMENEZ AND MIKE LAWRENCE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FINALLY TONIGHT, LET'S CHECK IN

WITH "DARE-Y WILLMORE'S MARCHBADNESS BRACKETSBALL

DARE-O-MANIA IT'S BONER TIMETOURNAMENT."

YEAH!

(APPLAUSE)ALL THIS WEEK YOU'VE SENT IN

HUNDREDS OF HILARIOUS DARES.

THE BRACKET IS COMPLETE!

WE EVEN DREW IT UP ON THE WALLIN THE STUDIO!

HERE'S A LOOK AT SOME TEAMS TOWATCH.

TOP SEEDED DUKE OPENS UP AGAINSTROBERT MORRIS.

IF THE BLUE DEVILS GO THEDISTANCE, YOU WILL SEE ME HOST

THIS SHOW IN SPANDEX.

I'LL DO IT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THAT COULD BE ODDLY FREEING.

NEXT UP, 12th SEEDED BUFFALO.

THEY FACE A TOUGH WEST VIRGINIATEAM TOMORROW -- AND DEPENDING

ON WHO WINS, I COULD BE HOSTINGTHE SHOW EITHER AS SOUL DADDY,

WHICH IS THE '70s VERSION OFMYSELF, OR AS A 17th CENTURY

ROYAL.

ANOTHER TEAM TO KEEP AN EYE ONIS NUMBER TWO SEED KANSAS.

THEY PLAY NEW MEXICO STATE INTHE FIRST ROUND AND IF ALL GOES

WELL FOR COACH BILL SELF AND THEJAYHAWKS, MUPPET LARRY WILMORE

WILL BE YOUR HOST.

I HAVE TO TELL YOU, BILL, IREALLY WANT MY OWN MUPPET.

DOWNLOAD THE BRACKET ONLINE ANDFOLLOW THE SHOW ON TWITTER TO

KEEP TABS ON HOW THE MOSTRIDICULOUS DARES ARE DOING.

GOODNIGHTLY, EVERYONE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) Captioning sponsored by

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