I Broke My Dick

  • Season 1, Ep 10
  • 04/12/2016

Nikki gives an update on the latest sex trends, attends a pegging class and plays Tinder Tapout with guests Natasha Leggero and Patton Oswalt.

- [Voiceover] Pegging: an act of intercourse

where a woman inserts a strap-on dildo

into the anus of her male partner.

- Christina and Tom!

So why pegging?

- 12 years I've been threatening him with pegging.

- But clearly you've shown interest

in having your behind stimulated.

You want a finger.

- I've wanted, yes, a finger.

- Wait, have you given the finger?

- [Both] No!

- She won't even do that.

- No, but let me tell you--

- But she's gonna shove a dildo in me.

- My boyfriend's into stuff back there,

he just won't let himself admit it.

- That's awesome.

- One of the common fears about pegging is poop.

- I am afraid that it's just, I'm gonna get showered

in shit, but that's kind of the price I'm gonna pay

to give him a good pegging.

- Another fear is beingseen as, you know, gay.

Is that a fear of yours?

- No.

I mean, if somebodyaccuses me of being gay,

then I'll just come all over their face, I guess.

- He's been crushing mypuss, devastating it,

for years and years.

I know he's straight.

- Yeah, it's not gay because the

dildo is attached to a woman.

- I'm just thrilled to finally massacre his asshole.

I'm really excited.

- Also pain, pain is a big concern.

- I'd say pain's the number one concern.

- Because she's using words like--

- Devastate, destroy, yes, yes.

- Okay, butt class is starting.

- All right.

- Hello everybody.

- Hi!

- Welcome to Ruby Ryder's Pegging 101

and congratulations for being here.

The men, why would you want to do this?

Pleasure, flat out pleasure.

The prostate gland is like the magic button for guys, okay?

- You wanna write that down?

- Yes.

- And there's an equal amount of potential pleasure

with the prostate just like there is with the G-spot.

So the rules are not too fast, not too big.

- How big can I go?

- You start small in general.

- Can you show me what that would look like?

- Yeah.

Right here.

- Whoa, whoa.

That's introductory level?

- Yes it is.

- You can handle that.

- I think I was looking at your

stick of Chapstick over there.

- This is actually a vibe.

- Okay, that's what I want.

- If you are going to get something

that's a size of yourfinger, use your finger.

- Oh right.

- You know?

This goes in here.

For the woman.

- [Tom] Good lord.

- [Christina] Oh that's cool.

- Give you ladies some incentive.

- Right ladies?

- Jesus.

- So you put it on like this.

I'm liking it already!

It already feels a part of who I am.

- Nicki, this looks good on you.

- Women are afraid of what they're

gonna look like wearing a strap-on.

- Is this what it's like for you?

- No, that's not what it's like for me.

- So when you pee, you hold it down?

Oh yeah, I forgot that part!

- It's been a long day.

(sighs)

- I wish I had balls on this.

- They have ones with balls.

- Do the balls smell?

- No.

- Like a real, I would want them to just

smell like a man's balls.

- So this is a dual density one.

It's a softer outercore, harder inner one.

- Whoa.

- Okay, I thought a good way to like

test out if we are good thrusters

is with some clay asses that I had made.

- Wow.

- [Nicki] Let's just go to town on them.

- They're clay assholes.

I don't get any lube, seriously?

- Yep, okay, I'm entering.

- You're just a natural, look at you.

- No I'm not, oh, it's going in baby!

- [Christina] This is what you do?

- Yeah.

- Oh no, it's prolapsing.

Is this gonna happen?

- Whoa.

- This is for not getting me flowers on Valentine's Day!

This is for taking me to Home Depot instead!

- I feel like Nicki's got a lot of rage.

- Oh my god, I broke it!

- [Tom] Jesus.

- Oh my god, oh my god!

Wow.

- I broke my dick!

- I was very loving.

- Yes!

It was nice knowing that this couldn't break up with me.

- I'm really proud of how nice you

were to the clay butthole.

- Thanks, sweetie.

- But I still think we go finger first.

- Got it.

All right, I love you.

- I love you.

- I'm tired.