December 1, 2014 - John McCain

  • 12/01/2014

"Star Wars" fans react to a new lightsaber design, members of the St. Louis Rams protest the Ferguson decision, and Senator John McCain discusses "Thirteen Soldiers."

TONIGHT I LOOK AT THEPROTESTS IN FERGUSON, THOUGH

THEY ARE A LITTLE HARD TOSEE THROUGH THE TEAR GAS.

AND THEN ISIS FINDS A NEWWAY TO RECRUIT.

THAT'S ONE MORE LINKED INREQUEST TO DELETE.

AND MY GUEST IS ARIZONASENATOR JOHN McCAIN THOUGH

YOU PROBABLY KNOW HIM BESTAS THE MAN WHO LAUNCHED

SARAH PALIN'S TV CAREER.

RESEARCHERS ARE DEVELOPING ABREATHALYZER THAT DETECTS

MARIJUANA.

THE BEST PART IS, YOU CANTURN IT INTO A BONG.

THIS IS THE COLBERT REPORT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen:

WELCOME-- WELCOME-- WELCOMETO THE REPORT.

GOOD TO YOU HAVE WITH US.

THANK YOU.

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN!")

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, THANKYOU LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

THANK YOU.

HEROES IN HERE, OUT THERE,ALL AROUND THE WORLD.

THANK YOU.

SIT DOWN.

NATION, THANK YOU SO MUCHFOR BEING HERE, FOLKS IT'S

GREAT TO BE BACK.

IN THE HOME STRETCH.

NATION, I HOPE YOU ALL HAD AWONDERFUL, A WONDERFUL-- I

HOPE YOU ALL HAD A WONDERFULTHANKSGIVING, OR AS IT IS

KNOWN TO NATIVE AMERICANSSARCASTIC YOU'RE WELCOMES

GIVING.

DINNER AT MY HOUSE WAS GREATAS ALWAYS.

THIS YEAR I GOT THE WISHBONE AND MY WISH CAME TRUE.

THE DOCTORS WERE ABLE TOREMOVE IT FROM MY THROAT.

(LAUGHTER)OF COURSE I WAS OFF ALL LAST

WEEK.

SO THERE IS A LOT OF NEWS TOCATCH UP ON.

STARTING WITH A MAJORCONFLICT ONCE AGAIN IN A

TROUBLED DESERT REGION.

(LAUGHTER)

(LAUGHTER)

WHOOO. (MAKING GUN SOUNDS) DON'TGET COCKY, KID.

THE NEW STAR WARS TRAILERDROPPED OVER THANKSGIVING

WEEKEND.

AND IT WAS ALL ANYONE IN MYFAMILY COULD TALK ABOUT.

WHICH, UNFORTUNATELY, LEADTO MY AUNT RITA SAYING SOME

HORRIBLY RACIST THINGS ABOUT THE GUNGAN.

FOLKS, I, I AM THE ORIGINALFAN OF STAR WARS.

IN 1977, THIS IS A TRUESTORY, WHEN I WAS IN 8th

GRADE, I WON TWO TICKETSFROM A LOCAL RADIO STATION

TO SEE THIS NEW MOVIE STARWARS TWO WEEKS BEFORE IT

CAME OUT NATIONALLY.

NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS GOING TOBE, HASKEL FEUDENBERG'S MOM

DROVE DOES.

AND I LOVED IT IT ON THE WAYHOME THERES WITH A FULL

MOON.

I PRETENDED IT WAS THEDEATHSTAR IT BUT AT SCHOOL

ON MONDAY, I COULDN'TEXPLAIN HOW EVERYTHING WAS

DIFFERENT NOW BECAUSE NOBODYHAD SEEN IT. THEY THOUGHT

MY DARTH VADER IMPRESSIONWAS JUST ASTHMA.

THOUGH, THOUGH I WILL SAY, IDID GET OUT OF GYM FOR A

MONTH.

THEN THE MOVIE COMES OUT.

EVERYBODY IS SAYING IT ISTHE GREATEST THING EVER BUT

I SAW IT FIRST, I HAVE BEENA STAR WARS FAN TWO WEEKS

LONGER THAN ANY OF YOU.

NOW LET ME TELL YOU-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Stephen: AND LET ME TELLYOU, FOLKS, THIS TRAILER HAS

GOT EVERYTHING YOU WANT IN ASTAR WARS MOVIE.

WAKE SURFING E-WICK, R2-D2'SHEAD PLAYING SOCCER, EVEN A

BLACK STORMTROOPER.

SO FOR THE RECORD, JAWAS, IFHE STOPS YOU AND FRISKS YOU,

IT'S NOT RACIST.

ALSO, YOU ARE KIND OF ASKINGFOR IT IT THOSE HOODIES.

AND FOLKS, THAT'S NOT-- NO,NO, IT IS NOT THE JAWAS

FAULT.

THAT IS NOT EVEN THE BESTPART, FOLKS.

CHECK OUT THIS AWESOMELIGHTSABER.

IT'S A LIGHTSABER WITH TWOMINI LIGHTSABERS ON IT. IT'S

A MENAGE-A-SABRE.

SADLY, SADLY I THINK I HAVEA WOOKIEE IN THE AUDIENCE.

SADLY, THERE ARE SOME STUCKUP HALF WITTED SCRUFFY

LOOKING NERF HERDERS OUT THEREWHO AREN'T THRILLED WITH THE

NEW JEDI WEAPON.

THEY SAY IF THESE THINGS ARESUPPOSED TO PROTECT YOUR

HANDS LIKE SWORD HILTS ITWOULDN'T WORK BECAUSE THE

FIRST TIME YOU CROSSLIGHTSABERS AND IT SLID DOWN

TO THE BOTTOM OF THE BLADEYOUR OPPONENT'S LIGHTSABER

WOULD CHOP THROUGH THE SIDESABRES AND TAKE OFF YOUR HAND.

OR AS IT WAS STATED ONTWITTER, "HILT ON LIGHT SABER

STUPID AND IMPRACTICAL CHILDHOODRUINED, EVERYTHING RUINED."

YEAH.

(APPLAUSE)RUINED.

WELL, I SAY IT'S THE PERFECTDESIGN, HERE IS HOW IT

WORKS.

I HAVE DONE MY ANALYSIS,OKAY.

PEOPLE THINK, PEOPLE THINKIT'S ACTUALLY THREE

DIFFERENT PLASMA STREAMS BUTIT'S ALL ONE.

THE LONG BEAM, THE LONG BEAMRIGHT HERE, OKAY, IT COMES

OUT AND THE TWO SMALLERBEAMS AT THE BOTTOM, OKAY,

THEY'RE STILL ATTACHED TO ITIT THEY DON'T START WHERE

THE LITTLE METAL HILT ENDS,OKAY.

THEY'RE ATTACHED TO THEOTHER BEAM INSIDE.

THE METAL HILTS ARE JUSTCASINGS AROUND THE LITTLE

BEAM TO PROTECT YOUR HAND.

EVEN IF SOMEONE SLICESTHROUGH THE METAL THEY'RE

GOING TO HIT THE BEAM RIGHTTHERE.

ANY PADAWAN KNOWS THAT.

NOW I KNOW-- THAT ISSCIENCE.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: NOW I KNOW

WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

YOU'RE SAYING BUT STEPHEN,IN THE TRAILER THE FIRST

LIGHT BEAM COMES OUT BEFORETHE OTHER TWO.

HOW COULD IT ALL BE ONEBEAM.

WELL, GREG, IT'S SIMPLE.

YOU JUST NEED THREE FOCUSINGCRYSTAL ACTIVATORS TO SPLIT

THE PLASMA INTOPERPENDICULAR BLADE ENERGY

CHANNELS.

CONFUSED?

WELL, YOU'LL UNDERSTAND INTWO WEEKS WHEN YOU CATCH UP

WITH WHERE I'M AT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I HAVE HAD IT.

AMATEUR HOUR IS OVER.

THE PROS ARE TAKING IT OVERON THIS ONE.

OF COURSE, FOLKS, THE BIGSTORY OVER THANKSGIVING WAS

THE ONGOING RACIAL TENSIONSIN AMERICA.

WE JUST GAVE YOU THE JACKIEROBINSON STORMTROOPER.

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

AND IT WAS ALL OVER ONETINY DECISION.

>> A GRAND JURY DECIDED NOTTO INDICT OFFICER DARREN

WILSON IN THE SHOOTING DEATHOF MICHAEL BROWN.

>> HUNDREDS SWARMED THEFEDERAL COURTHOUSE BEFORE

FANNING OUT THROUGH THE CITYSTREETS.

>> THE COURTHOUSE ISBARRICADED.

THE SIDEWALK BLOCKED.

PROTESTS OVERNIGHT MOVEDFROM FERGUSON TO ST. LOUIS.

>> YES, FERGUSON HAS ERUPTEDBECAUSE OFFICER DARREN

WILSON WILL NOT FACE TRIAL.

FOR SOME REASON, THESEPROTESTORS WON'T TAKE "ITS

LEGAL TO SHOOT AN UNARMED BLACKMAN" FOR AN ANSWER.

FOLKS, THESE DEMONSTRATIONSHAVE BEEN A SOBERING

REMINDER THAT ST. LOUIS EXISTS

I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPPOSEDTO LEAVE AGES AGO THROUGH

THAT STAR GATE THEY BUILT.

NOW-- NOW, NOW WOULD BE AGOOD TIME, GUYS. VERY NICE.

>> AND IT'S NOT ENOUGH THATTHEY DESTROYED IT FERGUSON.

THESE PROTESTS HAVESPREAD TO WHAT AMERICANS HOLD

MOST SACRED, FOOTBALL.

>> THE EVENTS IN FERGUSONHAVE CROSSED OVER INTO THE

WORLD OF SPORTS.

>> FIVE PLAYERS OF THE ST.LOUIS RAMS PUT THEIR HANDS

OVER THEIR HEADS IN A DON'TSHOOT POSE RIGHT BEFORE

THEIR GAME AGAINST THEOAKLAND RAIDERS.

>> WELL THAT IS JUSTWRONG.

WHY WOULD ANYONE SURRENDERTO THE RAIDERS?

THANKFULLY, WHEN THE ST.LOUIS POLICE, SEE YOUNG

BLACK MEN WITH THEIR HANDSIN THE AIR, THEY COME OUT

FIRING.

>> THE ST. LOUIS POLICEOFFICER ASSOCIATION IS

CONDEMNING THE PLAYER'SACTIONS CALLING THE MOVE

TASTELESS, OFFENSIVE ANDINFLAMMATORY.

>> YES IT IS TASTELESS ANDOFFENSIVE TO SEE THIS AT

THAT TIME AN NFL GAME.

WHICH REMINDS ME, WELCOMEBACK, RAY RICE, WE'VE MISSED

YOU.

AND THE YOU HAVE TO STOPTHAT OFFENSIVE GESTURE

BEFORE IT SPREADS.

DURING THE GAME I SAWREFEREES DO IT A BUNCH OF

TIMES.

THEY BUILT GIANT STEELMONUMENTS TO IT AT EACH

END OF THE FIELD.

LATER THE CROWD EVEN PASSEDIT AROUND THE STADIUM IN SOME

KIND OF CELEBRATION.

THE POINT IS, THESE PLAYERSSHOULD BE PUNISHED.

I SAY WE MAKE THEM PLAYFOOTBALL USING ONLY THEIR

FEET WITH SOME KIND OFPENALTY FOR TOUCHING IT WITH

THEIR HANDS.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

THINGS WOULD BE A LOTCALMER IF BLACK PEOPLE JUST

AGREED NEVER TO PUT THEIRHANDS UP.

OR IN THEIR POCKETSAS SEEN IN THIS ENCOUNTER

WITH THE POLICE OFFICERBEING FILMED BY A BLACK MAN

WHO ASKED WHY HE WAS BEINGSTOPPED.

>> YOU'RE MAKING PEOPLENERVOUS.

>> BY WALKING BY?

>> YEAH, THEY SAID YOU HADYOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS.

>> WOW, WALKING BY WITHYOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKETS

MAKES PEOPLE NERVOUS TO CALLTHE POLICE WHEN IT'S SNOWING

OUTSIDE?

>> WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TODAY?

>> WALKING, WITH MY HANDS INMY POCKETS.

>> YOU CAN'T-- YOU CAN'TTRUST SOMEONE WITH THEIR

HANDS IN THEIR POCKETS.

POCKETS ARE THE HOLSTER OFTHE FIST.

THE POINT IS, THERE ARE JUSTSOME GESTURES THAT

BLACK PEOPLE SHOULD NOTATTEMPT RIGHT NOW.

>> OKAY.

HANDS UP, TOO INFLAMMATORY.HANDS IN POCKETS, TOO

THREATENING.

THIS TRICK, LOOKS LIKEYOU'RE STEALING THE THUMB

OKAY.

ALSO, AVOID-- JAZZ HANDS!

OKAY.

BECAUSE JAZZ HANDS LEAD TOHEROIN HANDS, OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

AND NO, I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT,OKAY.

YOU'RE JUST ASKING FOR A COPTO YELL HE'S GOT A SPOUT,

START FIRING.

AND THE MOST THREATENINGTHING A BLACK PERSON CAN DO

IS HERE'S THE CHURCH, HERE'STHE STEEPLE, BECAUSE WHEN

YOU OPEN THE DOORS LOOK ATALL THE BLACK PEOPLE, THAT

COULD BE A RIOT

YOU'RE GOING TO GET TEARGASSED.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, THANKS SO MUCH.

NATION, YOU AND I BOTH KNOWTHAT-- FOLKS, FOR YEARS NOW,

A DANGEROUS HORDE OFFUNDAMENTALISTS HAVE

THREATENED TO DESTROYEVERYTHING WE LOVE.

BUT NOW THE DEMOCRATS HAVEBEEN DEFEATED AND WE CAN GET

BACK TO WORRYING ABOUT THEISLAMIC STATE.

AND WELL WE SHOULD BECAUSEWESTERNERS ARE JOINING THEIR

RANKS.

>> THE FRESH WAVE OFHUNDREDS OF FOREIGNERS

INCLUDING AMERICANS RUSHINGTO FIGHT ALONGSIDE ISIS

TERRORISTS.

>> THE FBI IS INVESTIGATINGTHREE AMERICAN TEENAGERS,

HIGH-SCHOOL STUDENTS FROMDENVER WHO HAD LEFT THIS

COUNTRY, LURED AWAY THROUGHTHE INTERNET, THEY SAY.

THE TEENS WERE ON THE WAY TOJOIN TERROR GROUPS IN SYRIA.

>> IN THE LAST SIX WEEKS1000 NEW FOREIGN FIGHTERS

STREAMED INTO SYRIA ANDIRAQ.

THERE ARE NOW $16,000 THERE,NEARLY 3,000 ARE WESTERNERS.

>> Stephen: YES, THOUSANDSOF WESTERNERS ARE JOINING ISIS.

SOME PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHINGTO AVOID THE HOLIDAYS WITH

THEIR FAMILY.

AND WITH GOVERNMENT STOPPINGTHESE TERRORISTS AT

BORDERS AND AIRPORTS, ISISIS EXPLOITING SECURITY

LOOPHOLES AND SECURITYPORTHOLES.

>> WOULD-BE TERRORISTS AREPACKING THEIR BAGS FOR THE

JIHADI CRUISE, WITH AIRPORTSSTEPPING UP SECURITY AROUND

THE WORLD, KEEPING WANNABEJIHADISTS FROM JOINING

ISIS IN SYRIA, TERRORISTSARE USING CRUISE SHIPS TO

FERRY THEM INTO BATTLE.

>> INTERPOL SAYS THEY ARE TAKINGCRUISE LINES THAT

STOP AT A TURKISH COASTAL TOWN.

FROM THERE IT IS EASY TOCROSS INTO SYRIA.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT,TERRORISTS ARE HEADING TO

THE ISLAMIC STATE VIA CRUISESHIP.

AND FOLKS, IF THEY HATEDWESTERN CULTURE WHEN THEY

GOT ON, JUST IMAGINE HOWTHEY WILL FEEL AFTER SIX

NIGHTS OF DINNER THEATRE.

THESE JIHADIES OF THE JI-HIGHSEAS MUST BE STOPPED.

WHICH IS WHY I'M EXCITED TORELAUNCH THE COLBERT CRUISE.

MY WILDLY POPULAR SERIES OFNAUTICAL VACATIONS THAT I

HAVE NOT MENTIONED IN EIGHTYEARS.

MY LATEST COLBERT CRUISE ISGUARANTEED TO TRAP ANY

WOULD-BE TERRORIST.

JIM?

>> READY TO GET AWAY?

AND JOIN ISIS?

AND COME ABOARD THE COLBERTCRUISE.

YA, MAN.

IT'S TIME TO TRADE IN THATSUICIDE VEST FOR SUICIDE

CARGO SHORTS.

OUR CABINS ARE SO LUXURIOUS.

YOU WILL THINK YOU HAVEBLOWN UP AND GONE TO HEAVEN.

DECLARE A FATWAH, ON HUNGERWITH OUR DECADENT HUMMUS

FOUNTAIN. AND PARTAKE IN OUREXCITING SHORE EXCURSIONS

LIKE SCUBA DIVING, WHO KNOWS?MAYBE YOU WILL RUN INTO

A CELEBRITY.

RELAX, WITH ROUND-THE-CLOCKSPA TREATMENTS INCLUDING

COMPLIMENTARY HYDRO THERAPY.

A SEVEN DAY FUN-FILLED TRIPTO THE SHORES OF TURKEY BY

WAY OF CUBA.

SO A'HOY, IT'S TIME TO LEAVEYOUR WORRIES AND THE GENEVA

CONVENTION BEHIND.

JOIN US ON THE COLBERTCRUISE WHERE YOU WILL MAKE

MEMORIES THAT WILL LAST THEREST OF YOUR LIFE.

I GUARANTEE IT.

>> Stephen: FOLKS, THOSEVICIOUS-- PEOPLE LOVE THE

CRUISE.

THOSE VICIOUS MILITANTSWILL BE IN DEEP DOO-DOO,

THEIR OWN BECAUSE THE CRUISEIS RUN BY CARNIVAL

>> WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, MY GUEST TONIGHT

NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION.

SO I WON'T.

SENATOR, THANK YOU SO MUCH.

SENATOR JOHN McCAIN, WHAT APLEASURE TO HAVE YOU ON AT LAST

THANKS FOR COMING HERE FORONE OF MY LAST 12 SHOWS, IT'S

AN HONOR.

>> YOU'RE SCRAPING THE BOTTOMOF THE BARREL, HUH?

>> Stephen: NO, WE HAVESAVED THE BEST FOR LAST, TO

PARAPHRASE THE GOSPEL.

NOW YOU ARE A FIVETIME-- U.S. SENATOR.

>> WHAT CHAPTER IN THE BIBLEIS THAT?

>> Stephen: SAVE THE BESTFOR LAST.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: AS THE MARRIAGEAT CANAA WHEN HE TURNS THE

WATER INTO WINE, THE WINETHAT HE MAKES OUT OF THE

WATER IS PASSED AROUND TOTHE GUESTS AND THEY SAY

THOU HAST SAVED THEBEST FOR LAST.

HOW ARE YOU GOING TO APPEALTO CHRISTIAN CONSERVATIVES

IF YOU DON'T KNOW YOURGOSPEL, SIR?

>> NOW I REMEMBER, THANK YOU FOR

REFRESHING MY MEMORY.

>> Stephen: THANK YOU.

THANK YOU, FATHER McCAIN.

NOW HOW WAS YOURTHANKSGIVING.

I KNOW YOU ARE A BIGGRILLER, DID YOU GRILL YOUR

OWN TURKEY.

>> NOT ONE, NOT TWO, BUTFOUR FRIED TURKEYS AND

DIDN'T SET THE DECK ONFIRE ONCE.

>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS.

>> DEEP-FRY YOUR TURKEYS, MYFRIENDS, YOU WILL NEVER GO

BACK TO ANYTHING ELSE IT ISKIND OF ADDICTIVE, A LITTLE

BIT LIKE SOME SUBSTANCESTHAT YOU USED TO USE.

>> Stephen: WE AGREEDBACKSTAGE WE WOULDN'T TALK

ABOUT MY CRACK HABIT.

>> THERE WE GO.

>> Stephen: NOW SIR, YOUHAVE A NEW BOOK CALLED 13

SOLDIERS, A PERSONAL HISTORYOF AMERICANS AT WAR.

>> YUP.

>> Stephen: WHY 13, THATSEEMS LIKE AN UNLUCKY

NUMBER.

>> ONE FOR EVERY MAJORCONFLICT WE HAVE BEEN

INVOLVED IN SINCE THEREVOLUTIONARY WAR, AND THE

DIFFERENT INDIVIDUALS, MENAND WOMEN.

WE TOOK ONE INDIVIDUAL FOREACH CONFLICT AND TRIED TO

PUT THEM IN THE CONTEXT OF THECONFLICT.

BUT ALSO DESCRIBED TO THEREADER EXACTLY WHAT THEY

WENT THROUGH, AND THEDIFFICULTIES AND CHALLENGES

OF DEFENDING YOUR COUNTRY.

THIS ONE, OUR FRIEND JOINEDAT AGE 15, THE REVOLUTIONARY

WAR, CHARLES MARTIN.

ALMOST STARVED TO DEATH.

FOUGHT IN SEVERAL BATTLESAND FINALLY WE WON,

OBVIOUSLY.

AND IT TOOK 30 YEARS.

>> Stephen: 15.

>> JOINED AT 15.

AND FOUGHT ALL THE WAYTHROUGH.

>> Stephen: AT 15 I WASSTILL WATCHING STAR WARS.

AT 50 I'M STILL WATCHINGSTAR WARS.

NOW I NEVER SERVED BECAUSEMY DOCTOR SAYS I HAVE AN

INCURABLE CONDITION CALLED IDIDN'T WANT TO.

BUT I HAVE HEARD FROM WHAT IHAVE READ AND WHAT I HAVE

HEARD FROM PEOPLE LIKEYOURSELF WHO DID SERVE IN

OUR WARS, THAT WAR ISHORRIBLE.

SHOULD BOOKS ABOUT WAR, IFTHEY'RE GOOD, ALSO BE IN

SOME WAYS HORRIBLE?

OR HORRIFYING.

>> AS LONG AS WE UNDERSTANDTHAT WAR IS TERRIBLE, IT'S

THE WORST OF ALL THINGS.

IT DESTROYS LIVES.

>> Stephen: DO YOU COVER ANYOF OUR PRESENT WARS IN THIS?

FOR INSTANCE BILL O'REILLYAND THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS?

>> THERE IS ONLY ONE HERO TOWRITE ABOUT THAT, AND THAT

IS BILL O'REILLY.

>> THE YOUNG WOMAN IN THERETHAT FOUGHT IN AFGHANISTAN,

SHE IS A MEDIC.

SHE-- MONICA THOMAS.

SHE WAS IN A CONVOY, HIT BYAN IED.

SHE RUSHED IN TO SAVE THELIVES AND SHE DID OF SEVERAL

OTHER OF HER COMRADES.

AND BY THE WAY, HER HEROISM ANDTHAT OF WOMEN LIKE HER

SHOULD PUT TO REST ANYDISCUSSION OR ARGUMENT

WHETHER WOMEN SHOULD SERVEIN COMBAT OR NOT.

>> WELL, LET'S TALKABOUT-- LET'S TALK

ABOUT-- LET'S TALK ABOUTWHAT IS GOING ON IN THE

MIDDLE EAST AND AFGHANISTAN.

>> YEP.

>> Stephen: YOU HAVE SAID WEWILL HAVE BOOTS ON THE

GROUND IN SYRIA BY THE ENDOF THIS YEAR OR NEXT YEAR?

>> I THINK IT DEPENDS ON HOWTHE PRESIDENT FEELS HIS

FORCE TO DO THAT, HECONTINUES TO TELL US WHAT WE

WANT AND END UP DOING IT, WENOW HAVE 1500 MORE AS YOU KNOW

RECENTLY.

AND NOW THESE PEOPLE AREN'TGOING AWAY.

>> Stephen: SHOULD WE HAVETROOPS.

>> WE SHOULD HAVE BOOTS ONTHE GROUND.

>> WE SHOULD HAVE MORE AIRCONTROLLERS, WE SHOULD HAVE

SPECIAL FORCES AND WE SHOULDHAVE INTELLIGENCE PEOPLE

BECAUSE THEY CAN ONLY BEEFFECTIVE WITH THAT.

I DONE MEAN SENDING IN THE82nd AIRBORNE AND THOUSANDS

AND THOUSANDS.

>> Stephen: BUT WHY NOT SENDIN THE 82 AIRBORNE AND

THOUSANDS OF THOUSANDS IF ITIS A BIG PROBLEM IF WE HAVE

TO DEAL WITH THESE GUYS, WHYPUSSY FOOT AROUND, WHY NOT

TROOP BOOT IT AROUND?

>> FIRST OF ALL, THEAMERICAN PEOPLE WOULD NOT

ACCEPT SUCH A THING.

>> Stephen: ISN'T LEADERSHIPABOUT SAYING NO, WE HAVE TO

DO THIS THING.

>> WE CAN GET THE JOB DONE.

>> Stephen: PEOPLE DIDN'TWANT THE SURGE WHEN THE

SURGE HAPPENED.

BUT AS YOU WOULD SAY, THESURGE WORKED.

ISN'T THIS A SURGE IN TOSYRIA?

>> IT IS.

BUT IT'S GOT TO IT BE DONEIN A WAY THAT WOULD BE MORE

EFFECTIVE THAN SENDING IN AWHOLE BUNCH OF TROOPS.

NOT SENDING IN THE LARGENUMBERS THAT WE DID IN IRAQ

AND AFGHANISTAN.

>> DIDN'T WE UNDERESTIMATEWHAT WE NEEDED TO DO IN

IRAQ AND THAT'S WHY THE WARTOOK SO LONG?

>> WE HAD A FLAWED POLICY.

BY THE WAY, I WAS AGAINST IT,SAID RUMSFELD OUGHT TO BE

FIRED.

GUYS LIKE YOU, YOU CALL METHE BRAVE MAVERICK.

NOW WHEN I SAID THAT OBAMAIS MISHANDLING IT, NOW HE IS

THE ANGRY OLD MAN.

I'M NOT SURE WHICH ONE I AMNOW.

>> Stephen: LET'S TALK ABOUTYOU AND THE ANGRY OLD MAN

OF CHUCK HAGEL WHO JUST GOTTOSSED OUT THE DOOR BY

OBAMA.

YOU VOTED AGAINST HAGEL'SCONFIRMATION AS DID I, AT

HOME, YELLING AT THE SCREEN.

ARE YOU GLAD HE'S OUT?

>> I THINK THAT CHUCK AND BYTHE WAY HE IS A FRIEND AND

HE'S A DISTINGUISHEDAMERICAN.

HE FOUGHT AS AN ENLISTED MANDURING THE VIETNAM WAR AND I

HONOR THAT.

BUT HE WASN'T THE RIGHT GUYFOR THE JOB.

AND IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS THATALL THE DECISIONS ARE BEING

MADE WITHIN A SMALL GROUP INTHE WHITE HOUSE.

>> SO WE NEED SOMEBODY WHOHAS GOT EXPERIENCE.

YOU'RE HERE FOR THE COLBERTBUMP.

IS THIS A TRIAL BALLOON TOBE SECRETARY OF DEFENSE?

>> ACTUALLY I WAS THINKING,ACTUALLY I WAS THINKING

ABOUT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENTAGAIN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOU WOULD HAVE THE FULLRESOURCES OF THE COLBERT

REPORT AT YOUR BACK IN 2016.

IF IT WERE STILL ON THE AIR.

SENATOR, THANK YOU SO MUCHFOR JOINING ME.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> SENATOR JOHN McCAIN, 13

SOLDIERS.

GO GET IT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FORTHE REPORT, EVERYBODY, GOOD

NIGHT IT