Monday, October 21, 2013...

  • 10/21/2013

The contestants try to determine whether quotes belong to OkCupid members – or, twist – serial killers.

TIME FOR OUR NEXT GAME CALLED"TAG IT."

IM GOING TO READ YOU A CELEBRITYTWEET

AND FOR 250 POINTS I WANT YOU TOADD A FUNNY HASHTAG

KUMAIL?

>> #ALLERGIC TO DOUCHEBAGS#BUTT.

(LAUGHTER)>> Chris: YOU SAVED IT WITH

#BUTT.

I'LL GIVE YOU 250 POINTS FORTHAT.

NATASHA?

>> #J/K I HAVE A LONG (BLEEP)(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINT!

>> CAN I DO ONE MORE?

>> Chris: SURE.

>> #POKER FACE, #BUTTER FACE.

(LAUGHTER)#BUTTER DICK.

(LAUGHTER)>> Chris: #POKER FACE WITH THAT

HUGE (BLEEP).

250 POINTS TO KUMAIL.

FROM HUGH HEFNER.

DOUG?

#TRICK OR TRICK!

>> Chris: I'LL GIVE YOU 250POINTS.

KUMAIL?

YOU WANTED TO BECAUSE IN?

-- BUZZ IN.

>> #DICK OR TREAT.

BENSON AS WE ROCKET TO OUR

NEXT-- ON A RAN BOW MAYBE.

TIME TO PLAY "NAME THAT BARBIE."

GUYS, THERE'S A TUMBLR CALLED

"WEIRD BARBIE PHOTOGRAPHY"

BECAUSE RULE 34.

(LAUGHTER)

IT PHOTOGRAPHS BARBIE IN

SURPRISING POSITIONS.

I'LL SHOW YOU A PICTURE AND FOR

250 POINTS YOU HAVE TO COME UP

WITH A NAME FOR THE DOLL.

READY?

LET'S START WITH THIS ONE.

WHAT IS THAT?

(LAUGHTER)

DOUG?

>> JUMP START BARBIE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: YES!

POINTS!

POINTS.

I WOULD HAVE SAID CAPITAL

FUNISHMENT.

>> OKAY, I'LL GIVE YOU SOME

POINTS.

>> Chris: THANKS, DOUG!

I CAN'T TAKE DOUG'S POINTS.

HE'S IN THIRD PLACE.

NEXT ONE, THIS THING.

LOOK AT THAT.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

YES, NATASHA?

>> SUPER FUN NIGHT BARBIE.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT?

>> Chris: I HATE THAT I HAVE TO

GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT.

>> ME!

ME!

>> Chris: DOUG?

>> SALACIOUS CRUMB'S B.F.F.

BARBIE.

>> Chris: YOU TITILLATE IT HAD

NERDS IN THE AUDIENCE.

JUST FOR YOU DOUG.

NEXT ONE?

YES, KUMAIL?

>> "(BLEEP) ON MY FACE EITHER

ONE BARBIE."

>> Chris: POINTS FOR SURE!

YOU WANTED TO ADD ONE, NATASHA?

>> "I LOST MY VIRGINITY AT A

PUDDLE OF MUD CONCERT."

>> SHE COULD HAVE JUST SAID I

LOST MY VIRGINITY IN A PUDDLE OF

MUD.

>> Chris: I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU

A HUNDRED POINTS FOR THAT.

I LIKE HOW EXCITED YOU GET.

I'VE GOT TO GIVE YOU 250 MORE

POINTS FOR THAT.

THIS NEXT ONE, GUYS, COME ON.

WHAT'S THAT.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

DOUG?

>> YOU SHOULD SEE THE OTHER GUY

BARBIE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> WAY TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD!

250 POINTS!

THE HIGH ROAD!

FUN!

NEXT ONE?

WHAT IS THIS ONE?

WHAT'S THAT ONE?

KUMAIL?

>> FIRE CROTCH BARBIE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: NO, I'M NOT GIVING YOU

POINTS FOR THAT.

NATASHA?

>> ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT WHO

(BLEEP)S YOUR HUSBAND BARBIE.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: DOUG?

>> DOES THE CARPET MATCH THE

DRAPES, BARBIE?

>> 250 POINTS.

>> THAT'S A VARIATION OF MY

BARBIE!

I SAID FIRE CROTCH.

>> Chris: WE ALL HAD RED HAIR TO

DEAL WITH KUMAIL!

COME ON, MAN, DOUG NEEDS THIS!

>> Chris: WE ALSO WOULD HAVE

ACCEPTED "I JUST FARTED BARBIE."

(LAUGHTER)

TIME TO PLAY "ETSY STORE OR PORN

TITLE."

(LAUGHTER)

ETSY IS A GREAT WEB SITE WHERE

ANYONE CAN HAVE A SHOT BUT

PROBABLY SHOULDN'T.

MANY OF THE NAMES ON THERE SOUND

SURPRISINGLY PORNY.

FOR 250 POINTS, I'LL GIVE YOU A

NAME AND YOU TELL ME IF IT'S AN

ETSY STORE OR PORN FILM.

FIRST ONE, "MOM MY MILK."

KUMAIL?

>> ETSY STORE.

>> Chris: THAT IS AN ETSY STORE,

AS A MATTER OF FACT!

>> OH, (BLEEP) THAT LOCKET.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: NEXT ONE, TOY GIRLS.

NATASHA?

>> THAT IS PORN.

>> Chris: THAT IS DEFINITELY

PORN -- FROM THE BARBIE THING

EARLIER.

(LAUGHTER)

BEAR FEVER.

SDMOUG

>> (LAUGHS)

>> Chris: DOUG?

>> THAT'S AN ETSY STORE.

>> Chris: NO, THAT'S PORN, DOUG.

THAT'S DEFINITELY PORN.

(LAUGHTER)

>> I HAD TO QUIT FOR A SECOND TO

FIGURE OUT WHAT THAT WAS RIGHT

THERE?

>> Chris: IS THAT FRONT OR BACK

SHOT?

>> THAT IS THE PICNIC BASKET.

>> Chris: NEXT ONE, MY WIFE

CAUGHT ME (BLEEP)ING MY MOTHER.

KUMAIL?

>> I'VE GOT GO WITH PORN.

>> Chris: NOW IT'S TIME PLAY

"O.K. CUPID OR SERIAL KILLER?"

(LAUGHTER)

I'M GOING TO READ YOU A QUOTE,

YOU HAVE TO TELL ME IF IT'S FROM

AN O.K. CUPID DATE PROG FILE OR

WAS SAID BY A FAMOUS SERIAL

KILLER.

THE GAME IS WORTH $250.

HERE'S THE FIRST ONE.

>> I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO COLLEGE

AND GONE INTO REAL ESTATE AND

GOT MYSELF AN AQUARIUM.

KUMAIL?

>> GOTTA BEEN SERIAL KILLER.

>> Chris: YES, THAT WAS JEFFREY

DAHMER.

WELL DONE.

THERE HE IS.

(APPLAUSE)

>> I LIKE HIM SAYING THAT IF HE

HAD AN AQUARIUM IT WOULD BE

FINE.

>> Chris: IT WOULD BE AN

AQUARIUM FULL OF HEADS.

LIKE THE GOVERNOR.

WELL PLAYED.

THE NEXT ONE.

"I WAS BREAST-FED."

NATASHA?

>> I WOULD SAY O.K. CUPID.

>> Chris: YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY

RIGHT.

"THE MOST PRIVATE THING I'M

WILLING TO ADMIT IS THAT I WAS

BREAST-FED UNTIL I WAS FOUR."

>> DID YOU GIVE ME SOME POINTS?

>> Chris: NO BUT I LIKE YOU.

>> BUT I WON THAT ONE!

>> Chris: NO POINTS.

OH, DID YOU GET IT RIGHT?

>> YEAH!

>> Chris: THEN (BLEEP)ING TAKE

POINTS.

WHAT ARE YOU HITTING YOUR BUZZER

FOR, CUE SNAIL

>> FOR THAT GUY!

>> Chris: LET ME READ IT FIRST

BEFORE YOU GET IT ALL BUZZER

HAPPY.

"FY CLOSE MALE FRIENDS CALL ME

MR. CHLOROFORM OR BLOODY

KNUCKLES AND MY FEMALE FRIENDS,

THEY DON'T CALL ME ANYMORE."

KUMAIL?

>> THAT'S GOT TO BE O.K. CUPID!

AT ANY POINT NOW SOMEONE COULD

TAKE THIS GAME BECAUSE IT'S TIME

FOR HASHTAG WARS.

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU GUYS A

HASHTAG AND I WANT YOU BUZZ IN

WITH AS MANY TWEETS AS POSSIBLE.

THIS HASHTAG IS VERY IMPORTANT

WHICH IS WHY I THOUGHT IT WOULD

BE A GOOD FIRST ONE TO DO ON OUR

FIRST SHOW.

JOHN HODGEMAN TAUGHT ME THIS ONE

MANY YEARS AGO.

#FILMPOOPS.

YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ME AS MANY

MOVIES THAT SOUND LIKE POOPING.

FOR INSTANCE "OPERATION DUMBO

DROP."

"THE BROWN BUNNY" "THERE WILL BE

BLOOD."

IT GOES ON AND ON FROM THERE.

I'M GOING TO PUT 60 SECONDS ON

THE CLOCK.

GO.

DOUG?

>> PRECIOUS BASED ON THE NOVEL

PUSH!

>> Chris: KUMAIL?

>> SPLASH.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: NATASHA?

>> LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE.

>> Chris: CUE SNAIL

>> ANACONDA.

>> Chris: POINT?

NATASHA?

>> AMERICAN BEAUTY.

>> Chris: POINT!

I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

KUMAIL?

>> CHILDREN OF THE CORN.

>> Chris: DEFINITELY GIVING YOU

POINTS FOR THAT.

DOUGING?

>> UNSINKABLE MOLLY BROWN.

>> Chris: YES!

CUE HAIL?

>> REMAINS OF THE DAY.

>> Chris: DOUG?

>> BRING IT ON!

>> Chris: VERY EXCITABLE DOUG.

KUMAIL?

>> PEARL HARBOR.

>> Chris: CROWD WASN'T WITH YOU

ON THAT.

NO POINTS.

DOUG BENSON?

>> GO!

>> Chris: POINTS!

KUMAIL?

>> NUTTY PROFESSOR.

>> Chris: YES!

POINTS.

DOUG?

>> OVERNIGHT DELIVERY!

THE.

>> Chris: POINTS?

KUMAIL?

>> CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEAT

BALLS.

>> Chris: POINT!

KUMAIL?

>> GREEN MILE!

>> Chris: NO, SORRY, NO ONE

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