The A-List
Season 1

Jimmie Walker & Andy Kindler

  • Season 1, Ep 0141
  • 02/24/1992

ALTHOUGH I'VE THOUGHTABOUT IT, BECAUSE...

( laughter )

IT WOULD BE NICE IF THEYLOOKED LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.

YOU JUST NEED A GOOD PUSH-UP BRATO REALLY WORK IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.

( laughter )

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW,IT'S KIND OF DANGEROUS

TO HAVE BREAST IMPLANTSAS YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, MAYBE SOMEOF YOU HAVE THEM HERE

AND DON'T WANT TO DISCUSS IT

BUT I WANT TO DISCUSS ITWITH YOU.

( laughter )

FIRST OF ALL, SOMETIMES THEYLEAK ONCE YOU GET THEM IN

WHICH IS LOVELY.

( light laughter )

AND THEN YOU CAN'T FLYON THE CONCORDE

BECAUSE THEY EXPLODE.

( laughter )

SO FORGET GOING TO THE MOON,OR PARIS.

OF COURSE, THEY'RE BOTHTHE SAME, SO YOU KNOW...

JUST STAY AT HOMEIF YOU HAVE BREAST IMPLANTS

OR JUST STAY IN LOW ALTITUDES,DEPENDING.

AND THEN THEY MOVE AROUNDONCE YOU GET THEM IN THERE.

THEY'LL MOVE AROUND ON YOU

AND YOU MIGHT FIND THEMON YOUR BACK...

YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND MIGHTGIVE IT TO YOU IN THE BOOTY

BECAUSE THEY THINKTHAT'S YOUR FRONT.

THAT'S A POSSIBILITY.

"HONEY, GET OFF OF MY BACK."

( laughter )

THAT'S JUST SOME OF THE DANGERS.

I DON'T KNOW WHY WOMENARE DOING IT.

I MEAN, IN SOME CASES...

THIS GUY IS LIKE LOSINGHIS MIND.

IS THIS ALL JUSTTRIPPING YOU OUT--

THE OUTFIT IS BLOWING YOUR MIND?

BECAUSE YOU CAME HERE

FOR SOME GOOD OLD FASHIONED STAND UP COMEDY.

YOU'LL GET TO THAT

BUT RIGHT NOW YOU'REDEALING WITH ME

SO LIGHTEN UP AND...

GET LOOSE AND GET INTO THE MOOD

BECAUSE WE'RE NOT BRINGINGYOU TRADITIONAL...

YOU KNOW, RUN-OF-THE-MILLRIM-SHOT COMEDY HERE.

YOU GUYS JUST RUSHED IN...

WHAT, YOU'VE BEENAT THE BEACH ALL DAY?

OR YOU'VE BEEN WORKING?

ALL DAY, YEAH, WELL, WE'RE BUSY

OR VERY UNCOMFORTABLEIN THIS ATMOSPHERE.

EXTREMELY.

WE'RE WAITING FOR JIMMY WALKERSO HE CAN RELAX.

I LOVE IT WHEN MY PEOPLES COMESOUT TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

IT'S WONDERFUL.

I WAS CHECKING THIS OUT,IS IT MY IMAGINATION

OR IS MICHAEL JACKSONGETTING WHITER BY THE MINUTE?

( laughter )

REALLY, I REMEMBER THE OLD DAYSWHEN HE WAS BLACK!

HE HAD THE BIG KUNTA KINTE HAIR,REMEMBER THAT?

NOW HE'S GOT THIS LITTLELIKE DEBBIE BOONE NOSE.

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THING?

I'M NOT KIDDING,THIS DOGGONE NOSE.

HE CAN'T BREATHE ANYMORE.

HE HAD TO HAVE SURGERYON HIS FINGERS.

HE CAN'T PICK HIS NOSE ANYMORE.

THIS MICHAEL JACKSON

IT'S EMBARRASSINGFOR ALL BLACK PEOPLE.

STOP LOOKING AT MY SHOES.

THERE'S A WHITE MANLOOKING AT MY SHOES.

BLACK PEOPLE DON'T MAKE ITTO THE FRONT.

THERE'S A COUPLE OF BLACK PEOPLEIN THE BACK.

NICE TO SEE YOU MADE IT IN.

YEAH, THERE'S ONE PERSONIN THE CORNER PICKING POCKETS.

NICE TO SEE THAT.

I LOVE TO SEE BLACK PEOPLESGET TO THE SHOW.

I SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

THERE'S SO MANY GROUPS,EXCEPT FOR MICHAEL JACKSON

TRYING TO BE BLACK.

EVERY GROUP, MY DEAR,I'M NOT KIDDING!

WHO'S THIS GUY... MARKY MARK?

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GUY?

LITTLE IRISH WHITE KIDFROM BOSTON--

"YO, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

WORD TO YOUR MOTHER."

EVEN BLACK PEOPLE SAYING, "THISGUY IS NOT WITH US, IS HE?"

MY GOODNESS, YEAH,SHE'S A BIG YOKEL, AND...

I'M CHECKING OUT THESE GROUPSALL TRYING TO BE BLACK.

WHO IS THIS GUY?VANILLA ICE!

A WHITE MAN RAPPING!

COME ON!

Y'ALL GOT LARRY BIRD,THAT'S ENOUGH.

( laughter )

MY GOODNESS, THAT'S TRUE,I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.

NOW HE'S EVEN TRYINGTO PROVE HE'S BLACK

HE'S GETTING HIS HAIR CUTLIKE THE BLACK GUYS.

SEE, HE'S GOT THE LINESIN HIS HAIR AND EVERYTHING.

HE THINKS BLACK GUYS CUTTHESE WITH RAZORS.

NO, NO!

THESE ARE DRIVE-BYSHOOTING LINES!

( laughter )

BLACK GUYS BE DUCKING DOWN--

"GET DOWN... WAIT A MINUTE,MY HAIR LOOKS GOOD."

JIMMY SWAGGART

CAUGHT WITH ANOTHER HOOKER!

MY GOODNESS!

WHAT IS THE NAMEOF HIS CHURCH ANYWAY?

OUR LADY OF THE EVENING?

( laughter )

I MEAN, WHAT IS THIS?

I'M TIRED OF THIS GUY.

YOU KNOW, AND HE GETS ON TV

AND HE'S DOING WHATEVERHE'S DOING.

HE SAYS THAT GOD MADE HIMGO BACK TO THE PULPIT

AND START PREACHING AGAIN.

WHO MADE HIM GO OUTWITH THE HOOKER... GERALDO?

IT'S AMAZING, AND YOU KNOWWHO'S BACK IN THE NEWS?

GOOD FRIEND OF MINE,A PAL, A BUDDY

AND I'M GLAD TO SEE HE'S BACK--

MARION BARRY,MAYOR OF WASHINGTON D.C.!

OH, YEAH, MARION BARRYIS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.

I LOVE HIM, HE'S A GOOD PAL.

I WAS IN WASHINGTON D.C.ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF AGO

AND MARION BARRY MEETS MEAT THE AIRPORT

GIVES ME THE KILO TO THE CITYAND, UH, UH...

( loud laughter )

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS?

THIS MARION BARRY THINGIS A BLACK AND WHITE ISSUE.

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU ALL THIS.

IT'S A BLACK AND WHITE...

I MEAN, YOU TAKE JIMMY SWAGGARTAND MARION BARRY.

JIMMY SWAGGART GETS CAUGHT,HE JUST ADMITS IT

JUST COMES ON TV:"YES... IT WAS ME.

"I'M SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

MY KIDS, MY WIFE,GOD FORGIVE ME."

MARION BARRY CAUGHTIN A HOTEL ROOM ON FILM

ALCOHOL DRIPPING FROM THE LIPS,PALMING A GIRL'S BREAST

COCAINE COMING OUT OF THE NOSE!

"IT WAS NOT ME!

( laughter )

I'M INNOCENT! FRAME-UP!"

OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

IF YOU MUST, YOU MUST,GO RIGHT AHEAD.

IT'S AMAZING, BECAUSEMARION BARRY NOW SAYS

HE IS GOING TO RUNFOR MAYOR AGAIN.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

HE'S GOING TO RUN FOR MAYOR

AND HE IS IN THE LEAD!

SO I GUESS THESE OTHERCANDIDATES BETTER GET CRACKING!

( laughter )

IT'S AMAZING, MAN.

THE RIOTS WAS HAPPENINGA LITTLE WHILE AGO.

I LOVED THE RIOTS.

IT WAS A TIMEFOR BLACK PEOPLE, BROTHER.

EVERYBODY WAS BEING NICE

AND BLACK PEOPLE WERE BOLDDURING THE RIOTS.

WALKING THROUGH SUPERMARKETSWITH SHOPPING CARTS

JUST LIKE THEY OWNED THE PLACE

AND ASKING FOR PRODUCTS,"WHERE THE GRAPE JUICE?"

AND, "HEY, MANAGER, BRING MESOME GRAPE JUICE!"

EVERYBODY IS BEINGNICE TO BLACK PEOPLE.

THEY'RE EVEN NICE TO ME.

EVERYBODY IS GETTINGSHOWS AND EVERYTHING.

I'M GETTINGMY OWN SHOW NEXT YEAR.

THE BLACK VERSIONOF BEVERLY HILLS 90210

SOUTH CENTRAL 911.

( laughter )

OH, IT IS HAPPENING.

I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.

CRIME IS RIDICULOUS--I'M WATCHING THE TUBE

I REALIZE NOWCRIMINALS ON TELEVISION

HAVE THEIR OWN TV SHOW!

AMERICA'S MOST WANTED!

CRIMINALS ARE WATCHINGTHEMSELVES EVERY WEEK

LIKE, "LOOK, THERE'S BUBBA.

"MAN, YOU LOOKED GOOD COMING OUTOF THAT 7-11

NICE TO SEE YOU, BROTHER,MY GOODNESS."

CRIME HAS GOTTEN RIDICULOUS.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLEWHAT'S HAPPENING.

I AM NOT...

I'M IN NEW YORK A COUPLEOF WEEKS AGO, TRUE STORY

GUY TRYING TO STEAL MY TIRES

GOT RUN OVER BY THE GUYTRYING TO STEAL MY CAR.

( laughter )

IT'S AMAZING WHATIS GOING ON, MAN.

THE COUNTRY HAS GONE BERSERK.

OUR PRESIDENT HERE,I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.

GEORGE BUSH, MY GOODNESS.

YOU KNOW, HE IS GOING TO BE

THE FIRST PRESIDENTTO DO A NATIONAL TV COMMERCIAL.

I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.

GUY SAYS, "HEY, GEORGE BUSH

WHAT ARE YOU DOINGABOUT THE ECONOMY?"

GEORGE BUSH LOOKS BACK AND SAYS,"NUT AND HONEY."

( laughter )

THAT TOTALLY AMAZES ME?

I'M WATCHING A COMMERCIALON THE OTHER DAY.

A GUY WALKS INTO A LOCKER ROOM,PUTS HIS FOOT UP ON A STOOL.

HIS FOOT CATCHES ON FIRE!

HE SAYS, "BAD CASEOF ATHLETE'S FOOT."

GOOD THING THIS GUYDIDN'T HAVE JOCK ITCH.

( laughter, applause )

TALK ABOUT GREAT BALLS OF FIRE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.

NEW BLACK SHOW COMINGOUT NEXT YEAR.

BLACK WOMAN TALK SHOW HOST--WHICH WE NEEDED

NEW BLACK SHOW,BLACK WOMAN TALK SHOW HOST--

SALLY JESSE JACKSON.

( laughter )

VERY BIG SHOW.

WOMAN ARE DOING GOOD.

I LOVE TO SEE THAT.

WE GOT WOMEN IN EVERY AREAOF THE LIFESTYLE NOW.

WE GOT... I'M NOT KIDDING,I'M WATCHING THE IRAQI WAR

I COULD NOT BELIEVE THIS!

THERE'S WOMENLOADING HELICOPTERS

SHOOTING DOWN PLANES, WALKINGAROUND WITH NO MAKEUP ON!

I THINK THAT'SWHY WE WON THE WAR

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

THE IRAQIS SAID,"NO MAKEUP, WE GIVE UP!"

WOMEN DO EVERYTHING NOW.

WE GOT WOMEN IN THE SERVICE

WE GOT WOMENCONSTRUCTION WORKERS

WE GOT WOMEN SPORTSWRITERS

BUT THE PENDULUM HAS SWUNGTOO FAR THE OTHER WAY.

NOW THERE ARE A LOT OF WOMENWHO CANNOT COOK ANYMORE!

( laughter )

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING,NO MICROWAVE MAMAS OUT THERE.

I WENT OUT WITH A LADY

SAYS, "I AM NOT A GOOD COOK,WE'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI.

I DIDN'T HAVE ANY HOT WATERSO IT MAY BE A LITTLE CRUNCHY."

IT'S TRUE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I TELL YOU, SOME THINGSTHAT ARE UPSETTING ME--

THE GOVERNMENT AGAIN, PAL.

THERE'S A WAR IN NORTHERNIRELAND, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?

MORE VIOLENCEIN NORTHERN IRELAND.

PROTESTANTS AGAINST CATHOLICS,MORE VIOLENCE.

PROTESTANTS AGAINST CATHOLICS.

THIS SHOWS THAT IN A COUNTRY

WITHOUT ANY BLACKS,JEWS OR MEXICANS

PEOPLE CAN IMPROVISE.

( laughter )

OH, THAT'S GREAT.

MMM, I JUST HAD THE MOSTDELICIOUS INDIAN DINNER

THAT I ATE FIVE MINUTESBEFORE I WALKED OUT HERE--

NICE LIGHT THING, INDIAN FOOD.

A LITTLE CHICKEN TIKKAAND YOU KNOW...

ARE YOU INDIAN?

YOU'RE NOT INDIAN INDIAN?

ARE YOU AMERICAN INDIAN?

OR SHOULD I SAY NATIVE AMERICAN?

( lone applause )

CAN WE ESTABLISH WHAT YOU ARE?

JUST FOR ME,JUST FOR ME.

LATINO?

NO.

WHAT ARE YOU?

FILIPINO.

THE WORLD IS SUCH A MIXTURE,A RARE EXOTIC BLEND.

I CAN'T TELL ANYMORE,IT'S LIKE...

THE ARABS AND THE JEWSALL LOOK ALIKE TO ME, YOU KNOW?

WE'RE FIGHTING AND WE ALLLOOK ALIKE, IT'S JUST...

IT'S A SHANDE FOR THE GOYIM,I DON'T KNOW.

( laughter )

WHAT CAN I SAY?

( applause )

DON'T YOU AGREE?

LADIES?

IT'S REALLY A SHAME WE CAN'TGET ALONG OVER THERE

BUT WE'LL GET INTO THAT LATER--

PLEASE, I DON'T WANTTO BRING YOU DOWN.

$8.50 IN A THRIFT SHOP,$8.50 IN A THRIFT SHOP.

AT THAT PRICEI CAN AFFORD NOT TO LIKE IT!

( laughter )

THANK YOU.

I'M OFF TO A HOT START!

THEY PUT MY INITIAL ONSTAGE,A FOR ANDY.

HOW DO I COME UP WITH THOSE?

OKAY.

OH...

HAVING A GOOD TIME?

I'M FROM NEW YORK CITY,ANDY KINDLER.

MY ENTIRE...

( applause )

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

I'LL TAKE APPLAUSE FOR ANYTHING,I REALLY DON'T CARE.

MY ENTIRE FAMILYTALKS LIKE THIS--

( speaks in nasal monotone )

MY MOTHER VISITED ME

WE WENT TO SAN FRANCISCO,VERY NICE.

"ANDY, I ENJOYED SAN FRANCISCO

"THE HILLSI COULD HAVE LIVED WITHOUT

BUT THE PEOPLE WERE COURTEOUSAND WELL-KEPT."

( laughter )

MY MOTHER HAD A TOUR BOOK--

"ANDY, DID YOU KNOWTHAT SAN FRANCISCO

"WAS THE FIFTH LARGESTTEXTILE MANUFACTURER

"IN THE EARLY 20th CENTURY?

"ANDY, I WANT TO VISIT SAUSALITO

"A SMALL FISHING VILLAGE NORTHOF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE

"GATEWAY TO LOVELY MARIN COUNTY.

VERY NICE!"

MY MOTHER IS READING THE MENUIN A RESTAURANT

SHE LOOKS UP AT ME, SHE GOES,"ANDY, YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA.

HOW ARE THE FAJITAS?"

COMING OUT OF A BAR

THIS GUY COMES UP AND HITS MEIN MY EAR AS HARD AS HE COULD.

WELL, I'M NOT EVEN SUREIT WAS AS HARD AS HE COULD

BUT IT WAS PLENTY ENOUGHFOR ME, OKAY?

I'M NOT SURE THIS WAS A FIGHT,BECAUSE I DIDN'T HIT BACK

SO I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'DBE MORE OF A BEATING...

PERHAPS A PUMMELINGIS MORE LIKE IT.

THIS GUY HITS MEBUT I STILL USE SELF-DEFENSE

WHICH CONSISTS OF HOLDING MY EARWHILE BACK-PEDALING FURIOUSLY.

( laughter )

MY FRIENDS TAUGHT ME SOMESELF-DEFENSE MOVES.

THESE ARE PRETTY GOOD.

IF YOU EVER GET IN A FIGHT

YOU GO OUT TO YOUR CARWITH YOUR KEYS LIKE THIS

YEAH, I'M INVULNERABLE NOW.

PEOPLE ARE GOING TO SCATTERWHEN THEY SEE THESE BABIES.

IT'S A HONDA KEY, IT'S PRETTYDAMN SHARP, DON'T MAKE ME...

"OW, THAT'S NOT GOINGTO HEAL PROPERLY EITHER.

DON'T MAKE ME...

DON'T MAKE MEOPEN UP MY CAR DOOR

I GOT A CIGARETTE LIGHTERIN THERE!

LEAVES A NASTY LITTLE ROUND SCAR

AFTER IT TAKESABOUT A HALF HOUR TO HEAT UP.

DON'T MAKE ME DO A JOKEWITH A LONGER PUNCH LINE.

I'LL USE THEM.

MY FRIEND TAUGHT ME

YOU CAN SHOVE SOMEONE'S NOSERIGHT THROUGH THEIR BRAIN.

I CAN'T EVEN WATCHSOMEONE BLOW THEIR NOSE.

IN A FIGHT, I'M GOINGTO BE RUNNING OR BEGGING.

THAT'S MY TWO CHOICES.

"OH, MY GOD, OH, MY GOD,PLEASE DON'T HURT ME.

"HEY, THAT WOMANOVER THERE HAS CASH.

SHE JUST CAME OUT OF AN A.T.M.,GET HER, GET HER!"

LOOK AT MY FACE.

ALL RIGHT!

REPUBLICANS, REPUBLICANS...

I'M A DEMOCRAT, PERSONALLY.

IT'S THE PARTY OF THE PEOPLE.

I NOT ONLY VOTED FOR DUKAKIS,I'M WRITING HIM IN AGAIN, OKAY?

DEMOCRATS HAVE ALL COLORS,ALL RELIGIONS, YOU KNOW?

REPUBLICANS ARE JUSTRICH, OLD WHITE PEOPLE.

THAT'S ALL THEY ARE.

YOU EVER SEE A REPUBLICANNATIONAL CONVENTION?

ALL WHITE PEOPLE, SIX BLACKPEOPLE-- PAID ACTORS.

JAMES EARL JONES IN HIS MOSTDIFFICULT, CHALLENGING ROLE.

( laughter )

TUNE IN AND ATTEMPTTO WATCH HIM LOOK PLEASED

DURING A GEORGE BUSH SPEECH.

( laughter )

AND CLARENCE THOMAS AS HIMSELF.

( applause )

I FEEL SORRY FOR AFRICAN-AMERICANS.

THEY HAVE TO ACCEPT THOMASAS A ROLE MODEL.

THEY HAVE TO PRETEND ARSENIO HALL IS ENTERTAINING.

( laughter )

I DON'T MEAN TO SPEAKON BEHALF OF ALL BLACK PEOPLE

BUT AS A WHITE JEW, IT'SMY JOB IN LIFE, ALL RIGHT?

"YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN JESUS,YOU'RE GOING TO HELL."

IF I DON'T BELIEVE IN JESUS,MAYBE I DON'T BELIEVE IN HELL.

IF YOU'RE SO EXCITED ABOUT IT,YOU GO TO HELL.

IT'S YOUR CONCEPT,YOU INVENTED IT.

( cheering )

I'LL STICK WITH GUILT, OKAY?

JEWISH PEOPLEDON'T BELIEVE IN HELL.

WE'RE SUFFERING RIGHT NOW, OKAY?

WE CELEBRATE HOWMUCH WE'VE SUFFERED.

PASSOVER... WE'RE CELEBRATING5,000 YEARS AGO

GOD PASSED OVER OUR HOUSESAND MURDERED THE EGYPTIANS.

"THANK GODWE DIDN'T GET SLAUGHTERED.

WHOO, ALL RIGHT!"

( laughter )

EVERYBODY CLAIMSTHEIR RELIGION IS RIGHT

JEWISH PEOPLE, WE SAYWE'RE THE CHOSEN PEOPLE--

CHOSEN TO GET ROUNDED UP FORTHE LAST 1,000 YEARS, THANKS.

AND YOU HAVE LUTHERANS

WHO, SOMEONE TOLD ME,WERE NAMED AFTER LEX LUTHER.

I'M NOT SURE IF THAT'S TRUE.

EPISCOPALIANS, WHO BELIEVETHAT JOE PISCOPO IS THE MESSIAH.

( laughter )

I SAW HIS LAST HBO SPECIAL.

I DON'T THINK WE WANTTO LIVE IN A WORLD LIKE THAT.

DON'T FORGET TO GETTHE ANDY KINDLER COMEDY VIDEO

AVAILABLE IN THE LOBBY.

IT'S MY FAVORITE YIDDISH JOKES.

IT'S $6.95, BUT I LEAVETHE RECORD TAB IN IT

SO IF YOU WANT TO TAPE MURDER SHE WROTE OVER IT

I REALLY DON'T CARE.

YOU DON'T SEE JEWISH EVANGELISTS

NOBODY NAMED RABBI JERRY FALBERGON TV ASKING FOR MONEY.

ORAL ROBERTSTEIN, YOU DON'T HEARTHOSE KINDS OF NAMES

JIMMY SWAGGENTHAL,BECAUSE, UH...

JEWISH PEOPLE,WE DON'T NEED THE MONEY.

WE'RE DOCTORS AND LAWYERS.

IT'S THE CHRISTIANSWHO CAN'T HOLD A JOB

WHO GET ON TVAND ASK FOR MONEY!

YOU'RE RIGHT THEREFOR ME EVERY MOMENT.

MY FRIENDS ARE, LIKE

"ANDY, WITH AIDS,WE CAN'T SLEEP AROUND ANYMORE."

LIKE BEFORE AIDS

THE WOMEN WERE LINING UPTAKING NUMBERS.

WHY DOES SEX HAVETO CAUSE A TERMINAL ILLNESS?

WHY CAN'T IT BEBINGO OR BOWLING?

SOMETHING THAT WOULD BESLIGHTLY EASIER TO GIVE UP.

NOW WE HAVE TWO CHOICES IN LIFE:

HAVE SEX WITHTHE SAME PERSON FOREVER

OR RISK A TERMINAL DISEASE.

EITHER WAY, YOUR LIFE IS OVER.

( laughter )

THE COUPLESDON'T LIKE THAT JOKE.

"THAT'S NOT FUNNYAT ALL, SWEETHEART.

"OUR LIVES AREN'T OVER,OUR LIVES ARE JUST BEGINNING

"BECAUSE YOU'REMY LITTLE KOOKIE HEAD

"YOU'RE MY LITTLE FUNNY,LITTLE FUNNY...

"YES, YOU ARE MY LITTLE CUCKOO,YES, YOU...

GIVE ME A LITTLECUCKOO RIGHT NOW."

( laughter )

I THOUGHT THAT WOULD DRIVEYOU OUT, BUT YOU STILL STAYED.

BEFORE I LEAVE, I JUST WANTTO SAY THAT, UH...

I HAVE UNPOPULAR IDEAS.

I BELIEVE DRUGSSHOULD BE LEGALIZED.

I THINK IF YOU CAN OWN A GUN

YOU SHOULD BE ABLETO HAVE DRUGS.

I SAY, "MORE GUNSAND MORE DRUGS."

I SAY YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLETO BUY A FIREARM

UNLESS YOU'RE ON P.C.P.,THAT'S WHAT I'M REPRESENTING!

PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE THE RIGHTTO TAKE WHATEVER THEY WANT.

THEY WANT TO TAKE CYANIDE,GOD BLESS THEM.

IT SHOULD BE ADVERTISED ON TV.

"FORGET ABOUT SOMINEX, GETA REALLY GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP."

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