November 3, 2014 - Chuck Todd

  • 11/03/2014

Voters receive shame-inducing flyers, Hitler's face appears on Swiss coffee creamers, Disney offers animated cakes, and Chuck Todd talks "Meet the Press" and "The Stranger."

(EAGLE CAW)>> Stephen: TONIGHT, A MEDICAL

DEVELOPMENT THAT COULD SAVE YOURLIFE.

SO WHATEVER YOU, DON'T DIE INTHE NEXT 10 MINUTES.

(LAUGHTER)THEN A NEW WAY TO MAKE YOUR

WEDDING MEMORABLE.

OFFER YOUR GUESTS BEEF, CHICKENOR "MAN FLESH."

(LAUGHTER)AND MY GUEST "MEET THE PRESS"

HOST CHUCK TODD IS HERE TO TALKABOUT THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS.

I'LL ASK HIM WHEN WE CAN STOPTALKING ABOUT THE MID-TERM

ELECTIONS.

(LAUGHTER)HELLO KITTY TURNS 40 TODAY.

NOW SHE'S AS OLD AS THE MEN WHOLOVE HER.

(LAUGHTER)THIS IS "THE COLBERT REPORT"!

(AUDIENCE CHANTING "STEPHEN")HEY!

WELCOME TO "THE REPORT."

GOOD TO HAVE YOU WITH US.

LOVELY TO HAVE YOU HERE!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THANK YOU SO MUCH!

PLEASE, SIT DOWN, FOLKS. THANKSSO MUCH.

I'VE GOT TO TELL YA, LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, IT'S ON THESE CRISP,

FALL DAYS THAT IT'S GOOD TO WARMYOURSELF.

WARM YOURSELF BY A ROARINGAUDIENCE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)FOLKS, THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING

HERE, IN HERE OUT THERE ANDAROUND THE WORLD

FOLKS, YOU'RE HERE ON A VERYSPECIAL NIGHT BECAUSE, TONIGHT,

WE'RE BRINGING YOU OUR LIVEELECTION SHOW...

ANNOUNCEMENT THAT WE'LL BE DOINGIT TOMORROW NIGHT

(LAUGHTER)THIS IS PRE-TAPED WHICH IS WHY I

CAN SAFELY SAY, I'M GOING TO BESO (BLEEP) TIRED ON WEDNESDAY.

(LAUGHTER)AGAIN, JOIN US TOMORROW FOR OUR

LIVE ELECTION SPECIAL.

THAT WILL BE AT WHATEVER TIMETHE SHOW IS NORMALLY ON, AND

THEN ONE HOUR EARLIER IN PLACES WHERE FARMERS LIVE.

(LAUGHTER)AND IT WILL BE A BIG NIGHT 'CUZ,

AT THIS POINT, THE CANDIDATESHAVE SAID ALL THAT CAN BE SAID

AND WALKED BACK ALL THEY CANREGRET HAVING SAID.

(LAUGHTER)AFTER MONTHS CAMPAIGNING AND A

RECORD $4 BILLION SPENT,CANDIDATES NOW FACE THEIR

GREATEST CHALLENGE: GETTINGAMERICANS TO PUT ON SOME PANTS.

(LAUGHTER)BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT TURNOUT.

THAT LOOKS COMFORTABLE.

THAT LOOKS GOOD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YEAH!

YEAH, I KNOW THAT FEELIN'.

WE KNOW IN THE ELECTION GAMEIT'S ALL ABOUT TURNOUT.

IN THE PAST, THEY'VE TRIED JUSTABOUT EVERYTHING TO GET OUT THE

VOTE -- TV ADS, PHONE BANKS,PAMPHLETTING, BUSING PEOPLE TO

THE POLLS, ROBO-CALLS, EVEN"CAT"-CALLS.

>> HEY, MAMI, DO YOU KNOW WHEREYOUR POLLING PLACE IS?

BECAUSE I CAN THINK OF A GOODPLACE FOR MY POLE.

VOTE SCOTT WALKER, THIS TUESDAY.

>> Stephen: VERY EFFECTIVE.

VERY EFFECTIVE.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE)

THE PROBLEM WITH ALL THOSEMETHODS IS THAT THEY RELY ON

SOMETHING FEW VOTERS STILLHAVE -- A CRAP TO GIVE.

(LAUGHTER)WHICH IS WHY I'M SO EXCITED

ABOUT A BRAND-NEWGET-OUT-THE-VOTE TACTIC.

>> VOTE OR ELSE!

SOME VOTERS ARE BEING SHAMEDINTO CASTING THEIR VOTES.

THEY RECEIVED A LETTER TELLINGTHEM WHETHER 11 OF THEIR FRIENDS

AND ACQUAINTANCES HAD VOTED INTHE LAST THREE ELECTIONS.

>> A POLITICAL GROUP IS TRYINGTO SHAME PEOPLE INTO VOTING.

>> SOME CONSIDER IT A WAY THESHAME PEOPLE TO THE POLLS.

>> A FLYER OF SHAME!

STEPHEN: YES, A FLYER OFSHAME!

AND THIS TIME IT'S NOT SOMEONESTUCK IN COACH ON UNITED.

ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY, VOTERSARE GETTING FLYERS LIKE THIS ONE

IN MISSOURI, A SO-CALLED "VOTERREPORT CARD" ASSIGNING LETTER

GRADES FOR THEIR AND THEIRNEIGHBOR'S VOTING ATTENDANCE, BY

NAME.

LOOKY HERE, THE GUY ON THEBOTTOM VOTED ONLY 60% OF THE

TIME -- HE GOT A "D."

BETTER GET THOSE GRADES UP,MISTER, OR YOU WILL NEVER GET

INTO ELECTORAL COLLEGE!

THIS IS THE BEST PART --AFTER THE ELECTION, THEY SAY

THEY'RE GOING TO BE PRINTING UPNEW FLYERS TELLING EVERYONE IN

THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHO VOTED ANDWHO DIDN'T.

SO, PLEASE, BOW TO THISEMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL AND VOTE

TOMORROW.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)IT'S YOUR SACRED DUTY -- IF YOU

AGREE WITH MY POLITICS.

(LAUGHTER)IF YOU DON'T I HEAR THEY'VE GOT

EBOLA IN THERE -- I WOULDN'T GO.

(LAUGHTER)NATION, PEOPLE OFTEN ASK ME IF I

EVER GET TIRED OF BEING RIGHT.

AND I SAY TO THEM, "DOES STEPHENHAWKING EVER GET TIRED OF BEING

THE PRESIDENT OF ENGLAND?"THIS IS TIP OF THE HAT, WAG OF

THE FINGER.

(CHEERING)FIRST UP, FOLKS, I'VE NEVER

LIKED THE SWISS. FIRST OFF,

THEIR CHEESE IS A COMPLETERIP-OFF, BUT NOW THEY'VE REACHED

A NEW LOW.

BECAUSE LATELY, SOME CUSTOMERSORDERING COFFEE AT SWISS CAFES

HAVE ALSO BEEN SERVED CREAMERPOTS WITH PORTRAITS OF ADOLF

HITLER ON THEM.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)FOLKS, I LIKE MY COFFEE HOW I

LIKE MY WOMEN -- WITHOUT HITLER.

(LAUGHTER)APPARENTLY, IN SWITZERLAND,

(LAUGHTER)APPARENTLY, IN SWITZERLAND,

LABELS FROM THE MINI-CREAMCONTAINERS ARE CULT

COLLECTIBLES, AND THE HITLERLABELS WERE ACCIDENTALLY PRINTED

AS PART OF A SERIES OF COFFEECREAM CONTAINERS BASED ON

VINTAGE CIGAR LABELS.

WHICH MEANS, AT ONE TIME,SOMEONE MADE HITLER CIGARS.

EVIDENTLY FOR THE CIGAR SMOKERWHO JUST WANTED TO BE HATED

THAT LITTLE BIT EXTRA.

(LAUGHTER)SO TONIGHT 'M GIVING A WAG OF

MY FINGER TO NAZI DAIRYPRODUCTS.

(APPLAUSE)FOLKS, THE PEOPLE WHO GOT THESE

CREAMERS ARE RIGHT TO BEFUEHRER-IOUS.

(LAUGHTER)AS ONE MAN PUT IT, "THIS IS JUST

ABSOLUTELY EVIL AND OUTRAGEOUS."

I AGREE!

IT'S SO NICE TO SEE THE SWISSFINALLY HAVE AN OPINION ON

HITLER.

(LAUGHTER)A SPOKESMAN FOR THE MAKERS OF

CREAMERS APOLOGIZED, SAYING, "ICAN'T TELL YOU HOW THESE LABELS

GOT PAST OUR CONTROLS."

HOW HARD IS IT TO SPOT HITLER ONYOUR PRODUCT?

THIS IS THE WORSTDICTATOR-RELATED MANUFACTURING

SNAFU SINCE BEN AND JERRY'SRELEASED "IDI A-MINT CHIP."

(LAUGHTER)NEXT UP, FOLKS, I AM NOT JUST

THE HOST OF THIS SHOW, I AM ALSOHEAD OF MY OWN CORPORATION.

AND AS A CORPORATION KINGPIN, IFILED A QUARTERLY REPORT OF RAGE

WHEN I HEARD THIS.

>> ONE OF THE WORLD'S MOSTPOWERFUL C.E.O.s AS PUBLICLY

COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.

APPLE'S TIM COOK IS THE FIRSTFORTUNE 500 C.E.O. TO COME OUT

PUBLICLY AS GAY.

>> STEPHEN: YES, APPLE C.E.O.

TIM COOK HAS COME OUT AS GAY.

WHICH MEANS TWO YEARS FROM NOWMICROSOFT'S C.E.O. WILL ALSO

COME OUT AS GAY.

(LAUGHTER)SO I AM GIVING A WAG OF THE

FINGER TO TIM COOK.

(APPLAUSE)AS A CORPORATE TITAN, HE SHOULD

FOLLOW TRADITION AND HIDE HISSEXUALITY IN THE CAYMANS.

(LAUGHTER)HE CAN VISIT IT ON HOLIDAYS!

WORSE, HE FEELS NO REMORSE ABOUTHIS DECISION TO BE BORN GAY.

QUOTE, "I'M PROUD TO BE GAY, ANDI CONSIDER BEING GAY AMONG THE

GREATEST GIFTS GOD HAS GIVENME."

OF COURSE, GOD GAVE HIM THATGIFT BECAUSE HE KNEW COOK

ALREADY HAD AN IPAD.

(LAUGHTER)WELL, FOLKS, IF THE C.E.O. OF

APPLE IS GOING TO STAND UP THEREAND DRAMATICALLY UNVEIL HIS

GAYNESS, I ONLY HAVE ONE THINGTO SAY...

BEING GAY LOOKS SO SLEEK ANDCOOL!

(LAUGHTER)I BET IT'S LOADED WITH GREAT

FEATURES LIKE AN ULTRA-THINPROFILE!

SO IF YOU'RE WATCHING, TIM COOK,GAY, PLEASE!

WAIT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL WAIT.

IN SIX MONTHS, THEY'RE JUSTGONNA COME OUT WITH A GAYER

VERSION.(APPLAUSE)

AND FINALLY, THERE'S AN EXCITINGNEW

MEDICAL STUDY OUT OF THEUNIVERSITY OF MONTREAL -- I

BELIEVE I'M PRONOUNCING THATCORRECTLY -- JUST ON THE EDGE

OF CHOKING

AND SURPRISINGLY, IT WASN'TLINKING POUTINE TO EARLY-ON SET

EVERYTHING.

JIM?

>> FREQUENT SEX WITH MANYPARTNERS MIGHT REDUCE A MAN'S

RISKS OF DEVELOPING PROSTATECANCER.

THAT ACCORDING TO A NEW STUDY.

RESEARCHERS FROM THE UNIVERSITYOF MONTREAL STUDIED OVER 3,200

MEN AND FOUND MEN WHO HAVE SLEPTWITH 20 OR MORE WOMEN HAVE A 28%

LOWER RISK OF BEING DIAGNOSED.

>> STEPHEN: THAT'S RIGHT,MULTIPLE PARTNERS REDUCE MEN'S

CANCER RISK.

IT TURNS OUT, THE BACHELOR HASBEEN AN 9-YEAR P.S.A. FOR

PROSTATE HEALTH.

(LAUGHTER)RESEARCH FOUND THAT FREQUENT

HUMPING, OR AS THEY CALL IT INMONTREAL "THE CANADIAN MOUNTIE,"

IS BENEFICIAL.

BECAUSE IT REDUCES CARCINOGENICCRYSTAL-LIKE SUBSTANCES IN THE

FLUID OF THE PROSTATE DUE TO AHIGHER FREQUENCY OF

EJACULATIONS.

SO REMEMBER, FELLAS, YOU WANT TOORGASM AT A HIGHER FREQUENCY.

AHHH!

GOD.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)SO CLEARLY, TO MAINTAIN THEIR

HEALTH, MEN NEED MANY WILLINGSEXUAL PARTNERS, OR SOME SORT OF

SUBSTITUTE FOR PROSTATE HEALTH,A PROSTATE-TUTE.

(LAUGHTER)WHICH IS WHY I'M GIVING A WAG OF

THE FINGER TO THESE RESEARCHERSWHO REFUSE TO WRITE US MEN A

PRESCRIPTION FOR MAN-WHORING.

BECAUSE, WHEN ASKED IF THISMEANT PUBLIC HEALTH, AUTHORITIES

SHOULD RECOMMEND MEN SLEEP WITHMANY WOMEN -- RESEARCHERS SAID

"WE'RE NOT THERE YET."

WELL, I BELIEVE I SPEAK ONBEHALF OF ALL MEN WHEN I SAY --

HOW ABOUT NOW?

ARE YOU THERE NOW?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪♪>> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANKS SO MUCH!

NATION, WE'RE IN THE GOLDEN AGEOF TELEVISION SHOWS ABOUT CAKE.

YOU'VE GOT ACE OF CAKES, AMAZINGWEDDING CAKES, FABULOUS CAKES,

ULTIMATE CAKE-OFF, CAKE BOSS --AND, OF COURSE, LAW AND ORDER:

SPECIAL CAKE UNIT.

(LAUGHTER)THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH CAKE IS

IT'S STILL JUST CAKE.

ALL IT CAN DO IS LOOK GOOD,TASTE DELICIOUS AND PROVIDE

SUSTENANCE.

WHY CAN'T IT PUT ON A SHOW LIKETHAT SINGING POPCORN THAT'S

ALWAYS PROMISING TO MEET ME INTHE LOBBY BUT, WHEN I GET THERE,

HE NEVER SHOWS UP?

(LAUGHTER)LUCKILY, THE FOLKS AT DISNEY

HAVE DONE BETTER THAN PUT ONSHOWS ABOUT CAKES.

THEY'RE PUTTING A SHOW ONWEDDING CAKES.

>> HERE AT DISNEY'S FAIRYTALEWEDDINGS, WE'RE KNOWN FOR

STORYTELLING.

JUST IMAGINE TELLING YOUR STORYON YOUR CAKE AND BRINGING YOUR

CAKE TO LIFE, WHETHER IT BE YOURQUOTES OR IMAGES OR EVEN

SOMETHING MEANINGFUL LIKE YOURBEST STORY -- MAYBE IT'S A

DISNEY STORY -- THAT'S ACTUALLYPROJECTED ONTO YOUR CAKE.

DON'T WORRY, YOUR CAKE IS STILLEDIBLE.

>> STEPHEN: YES, THE CAKE ISSTILL EDIBLE.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE OKAY WITH SOMETINKERBELL DROPPINGS.

(LAUGHTER)WELL, COLOR ME ENCHANTED.

DISNEY HAS IMAGINEERED A CAKE ICAN IMAGINE-EATING.

AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT DISNEYBRAND CAN'T TURN INTO MAGIC --

WHETHER IT'S WEDDINGS, FAMILYVACATIONS OR EVEN BESTIALITY.

(LAUGHTER)THIS ROMANTIC CAKE IS AVAILABLE

EXCLUSIVELY AS PART OF THEDISNEY RESORTS FAIRYTALE

WEDDINGS, WHICH COSTS A MINIMUMOF $12,000.

THE MEMORIES WILL LAST ALIFETIME, ALONG WITH YOUR DEBT.

BUT I KNOW MOST AMERICANS'BUDGET IS LESS CINDERELLA AND

MORE CINDERELLA.

SO FOR THE PRICE OF JUST $79.95,I AM PROUD TO OFFER STEPHEN

COLBERT'S ENCHANTED PRINCESSPIXIE WEDDING CAKE -- FOR

STRAIGHT COUPLES ONLY!

IT FEATURES MY OWN ANIMATEDSTORYTELLING CAKE THAT DOESN'T

INVOLVE THOSE EXPENSIVE ANDHEAVILY TRADEMARKED DISNEY

CHARACTERS.

AND MY CAKE'S FROSTING ISDISTINCTIVE GREENSCREEN FROSTING

ALLOWS US TO DIGITALLY INSERT MYCAVALCADE OF UNLICENSED

CHARACTERS.

THEY'RE NOT DISNEY, BUT THEY'REDISNISH.

(LAUGHTER)I KNOW EVERYBODY LOVES MICHAEL

MOUSE!

(WHISTLING)OH, CONGRATULATIONS ON THE

WEDDING -- GROOM'S NAME --AND -- BRIDE'S NAME...

>> Stephen: THANKS, MICHAEL. ANDWAIT, WHO'S THAT COMING?

IS IT THE LITTLE MERMAID?

NO, IT'S TINY LOBSTER-GIRL

DON'T WORRY, SHE MAY BE A SHELLFISH, BUT THE CAKE'S STILL

KOSHER.

AND IT WOULDN'T BE A WEDDINGWITHOUT MICHAEL MOUSE'S FRIEND,

A DOG-LIKE CREATURE NAMED"IDIOT."

(LAUGHTER)>> HU HU, I HIDE MY MEDS IN MY

CHEEKS WHERE THE NURSE WON'TSEE!

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: AND WHY LET YOUR

FANTASY WEDDING STOP AT THECAKE?

IF YOU UPGRADE TO THE PREMIUMPRINCESS PACKAGE, WE'LL LET YOU

MARRY WHOEVER YOU WANT.

BECAUSE TAKING YOUR HAND INMARRIAGE WILL BE ANDY SERKIS

COVERED IN GREENSCREEN FROSTING.

(LAUGHTER)WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY!

MY GUEST TONIGHT IS THE ANCHOROF NBC'S" MEET THE PRESS "AND

THIS WEEKEND HIS GOATEE ISHOSTING "SNL."

PLEASE WELCOME CHUCK TODD!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)♪♪

CHUCK, GOOD TO SEE YA!

>> HELLO.

>> Stephen: THIS IS THE THIRDTIME WE'VE HAD YOU ON THE SHOW,

ONLY TWO OF WHICH HAVE BEENBROADCASTED.

>> WELL, THERE YOU ARE.

>> Stephen: CONGRATULATIONS ONHOSTING "MEET THE PRESS."

>> WELL IT'S WEEK TO WEEK, LIKEAN NBA CONTRACT

>> Stephen: REALLY? YOU COULD BEGONE NEXT WEEK?

>> WELL THEY SIGNED ME FOR NEXTSUNDAY

>> Stephen: BUT YOU'REGENETICALLY ENGINEERED FOR THIS

JOB! YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUTPOLITICS!

YOU HAVE THE HORSE RACE IN YOURHEAD YOU KNOW ALL THE PLAYERS.

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THEYKEEP YOU ON AMNIOTIC FLUID AT

NIGHT LIKE THE PRECOGS FROM"MINORITY REPORT" AND YOU WAKE

UP SCREAMING, VOTER POLLS!LOOKS GOOD FOR MCCONNELL!

(LAUGHTER)DO YOU LOVE THE POLITICS?

>> I DO, I DO!

IS IT OKAY?

>> Stephen: OF COURSE, IT'SOKAY!

YOU HAVE TO BE PASSIONATE.

>> IT IS.

>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO HUGIT!

>> IT IS.

I'VE LOVED IT SINCE I WAS A KID.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE FIRSTPOLITICAL BATTLE YOU AS A KID --

I REMEMBER NIXON, I'M OLDER THANYOU ARE.

HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> 42.

>> Stephen: I'M YOUNGER THANYOU ARE. THAT'S STRANGE

(LAUGHTER)I REMEMBER NIXON.

I WAS SO EXCITED ABOUTWATERGATE.

WHAT WAS THE FIRST TIME YOUTHOUGHT, OH, I'M INTERESTED IN

THAT?

>> IT WAS REAGAN-CARTER.

I REMEMBER MY PARENTS DEBATINGTHAT.

>> Stephen: ONE FOR CARTER,ONE FOR REAGAN?

>> YES, I'M NOT GOING TO SAYWHICH.

>> Stephen: YOUR MOM WAS FORREAGAN, YOUR DAD WAS FOR CARTER.

>> WHY ARE YOU DEMOGRAPHICALLYSTEREOTYPING PEOPLE??

>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT WE DO.

I REMEMBER MY DAD JUST KEPTACING A, B, C.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S THAT MEAN?

AT THE TIME, ANYBODY BUTCARTER.

>> Stephen: I THOUGHT IT WASALWAYS BE CLOSING

>> BUT I REMEMBER THAT AND IREMEMBER MY PARENTS HAVING

INTERESTING DEBATES.

THAT'S WHAT I GREW UP WITH.

WAS GREAT.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

YOU STILL LOVE THE POLITICS.

>> I STILL DO.

POLITICIANS SOMETIMES AREN'TVERY GOOD.

>> Stephen: THIS IS APOLITICIAN.

>> OKAY.

>> Stephen: IS IN TROUBLERIGHT NOW.

OFF BOOK COMING OUT CALLED "THESTRANGER BARACK OBAMA IN THE

WHITE HOUSE."

NOW, THE MID-TERMS TOMORROW -->> YES, YOU'RE EXCITED ABOUT

THEM, I CAN TELL.

>> Stephen: I AM MID-CITEDABOUT THEM.

>> DO YOU HAVE THE SIX YEARITCH?

>> Stephen: I DO.

WHERE IS IT?

>> Stephen: IT'S MORE I HAVESIX-YEAR SWAMP ASS

(LAUGHTER)YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING OUT OF THE

GAME, BABY.

I'M PULLING THE RIP CORD IN JUSTA COUPLE OF SHOWS.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: BUT ARE YOUEXCITED ABOUT THE MID-TERMS OR

READY TO GET TO 2016, LET'S FACEIT? ARE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE?

WHO'S GOING TO WIN OR LOSE,ARE WHO CARES?

>> WELL, THE CYNIC IN ME -->> Stephen: I'M ASKING A CYNIC

I'M ASKING FOR A REALIST

>> WE'RE SPENDING $4 BILLION TODECIDE IF IT'S HARRY REID OR

MITCH MCCONNELL IN CHARGE OF THEFILIBUSTER.

THIS HAS BEEN AN ELECTION WHERETHE PUBLIC WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A

CAMPAIGN AND DEBATE.

IT'S AMAZING THE TOP TWO ISSUES,THE ECONOMY, GRIDLOCK IN

WASHINGTON, AND I CAN'T FIND ACAMPAIGN IN AMERICA THAT'S

ADDRESSING THE TWO ISSUES.

>> Stephen: IT'S ABOUT THISGUY, ISN'T IT?

>> IT'S TURNED INTO THIS GUY?

THE REPUBLICANS ARE SAYING WEHAVE TO STOP THAT GUY FROM DOING

ANYTHING. I'M ALL FOR FIGHTINGAGAINST THIS GUY, IT'S

WHAT MY CAREER'S BEEN BASED ONFOR THE LAST SIX YEARS

BUT WHY DID THE DEMOCRATS RUNAWAY FROM HIM?

DIDN'T THAT SEEM WEEK?

>> THE REPUBLICANS ARE SAYINGOBAMA IS TO BLAME FOR

EVERYTHING -- THE GRIDLOCK ANDTHE BAD ECONOMY.

THE DEMOCRATS SAY, OH, YOU'RERIGHT, OBAMA IS NOT VERY GOOD.

SO YOU'VE REINFORCED THEMESSAGE, OBAMA IS NOT VERY GOOD.

THEN YOU ALSO HAVE A DEMOCRATICBASE THAT STILL LIKES PRESIDENT

OBAMA AND STILL DEMOCRATS WHOSUPPORT PRESIDENT OBAMA.

>> Stephen: THEY'RE CALLEDBLACK PEOPLE.

>> IT'S NOT JUSTAFRICAN-AMERICAN.

>> Stephen: REALLY?

BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS THAT'SNO WAY TO GET THEM FIRED UP

ABOUT GOING TO THE POLLS.

IF REPUBLICANS END UP SWEEPINGALL OF THIS, I THINK THAT'S WHAT

THEY WILL LOOK BACK AND REGRET

>> Stephen: I HAVE A LIVE SHOWTO DO TOMORROW.

>> I DO, TOO.

WE'RE UP AGAINST EACH OTHER.

>> Stephen: BUT I'M GONNATELL EVERYBODY TO WATCH YOU.

COULD YOU JUST TELL ME NOWWHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?

I'D LOVE TO HAVE IT ALL WRITTEN.

>> ACTUALLY, IF WE KNOW BY11:30, ITS MEANS IT'S A HUGE

REPUBLICAN NIGHT.Stephen: WHAT'S MY EARLY

INDICATION THAT I CAN STARTDRINKING?

>> NORTH CAROLINA ANDNEW HAMPSHIRE, IF THOSE ARE THE

EARLY POLL CLOSINGS ON THE EASTCOAST, IF ONE OF THOSE HAS GONE

REPUBLICAN BEFORE MIDNIGHT, THEREPUBLICANS WILL WIN THE SENATE,

THE QUESTION IS HOW BIG.>> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU THINK?

>> I THINK THE DEMOCRATS HOLDBOTH

>> Stephen: HOLD THE SENATE?

>> I THINK THE DEMOCRATS HOLDTHOSE SEATS.

IT COULD TAKE UP TO JANUARY.

I KNOW IT'S SO EXCITING AND YOULOVE THEM SO MUCH THAT NOT ONLY

COULD WE HAVE RECOUNTS, YOU LOVETHOSE, NOT ONLY WILL IT TAKE THE

IDITAROD TO GET THE VOTE FROMTHE BUSH COUNTRY TO FIND NOW

ALASKA, SO WE'LL HAVE A RUNOFFIN LOUISIANA AND GEORGIA.

WHY SHOULDN'T THEY LAST TILL2015? THEY'RE VERY EXCITING

>> Stephen: IF I HAVE TO TALKMID-TERMS AFTER TOMORROW NIGHT

I'M GOING TO GO TO MAINE ANDSTART MAKING OUT WITH THAT

NURSE.(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THANK YOU SO MUCH

CHUCK TODD, "MEET THE PRESS,""THE STRANGER."

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FOR "THE

REPORT," EVERYBODY!

GOOD NIGHT!