Good Mourning

  • Season 3, Ep 5
  • 06/26/2012

The TelAmeriCorp employees deal with the death of a beloved coworker.

IS THE FACT THAT

WE'RE PROBABLY GONNAHAVE WORK OFF TOMORROW.

- WHOA, I DIDN'TEVEN THINK OF THAT.

- YES, OF COURSE WE ARE!- THAT'S AWESOME.

- OF COURSE WE ARE,IT'S A DEATH DAY.

IT'S LIKE A SNOW DAY,BUT IT'S A DEATH DAY.

- AND CHECK THIS OUT.I GOT A SWEDISH PEN PAL IN TOWN.

SHE'S IN VEGAS RIGHT NOW.

WANTS TO COME TO HOLLYWOOD,

WHICH IS WHEREI TOLD HER WE LIVE.

- WE DON'T.- SMART, VERY SMART.

- I KNOW.I CAN'T SAY RANCHO CUCAMONGA.

THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.THEY'RE FROM SWEDEN!

THEY'RE NOT GONNA KNOW.

- YEAH,SWEDES DON'T KNOW ANYTHING.

- YEAH, YOU GOTTASAY HOLLYWOOD.

- HEY, DERS, IS THIS THE SAMECHICK THAT YOU TOLD US ABOUT

WHERE YOU SQUEEZED HER BOOBTHROUGH HER SLEEVE

WHILE WATCHING GLADIATORIN YOUR FRIEND'S BASEMENT?

- OH, YEAH.- YEAH.

AND IT WAS A LONG SLEEVE SHIRT,SO WHERE'S MY DAP AT?

- DUDE, I NEEDSOME SLEEVE BOOB MYSELF.

I'M TAKINGTHE OTHER CHICK, TOO,

AND I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCEFOR MARRYING HER.

WHOO, YES.- NICE. QUICK ON THE DRAW.

DAP ON THE DIBSTER MAN.

- I DON'T KNOW ABOUT DAP,ACTUALLY.

- BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO SAY NO,BECAUSE THERE'S ONLY ONE PURE

FAIR WAY TO DECIDE WHO'S GONNABE MY BRO-PILOT ON THIS ONE.

- 87. 87!

- 87?- I'M MAXED OUT. 87.

- OKAY. OKAY, THAT'S--THAT'SA PRETTY HIGH BAR, BLAZER.

SO THAT MEANS YOU ONLY HAVETO PUT ON...

NONE,BECAUSE I'M CHOOSING YOU.

- NO. NO!- YOU--YOU SERIOUS?

- YEAH, I'M SERIOUS, DUDE.YOU LOOK LIKE A PROFESSIONAL

SKATING CELEBRITY.

THE SWEDISH CHICKSWILL DIG THAT.

- YEAH, MAN!PRO SKATER, I CAN DO THAT.

NO PROBLEM.BLAKER HAS A DEATH WISH.

- NO, NO, NO.ADAM HAS A DEATH WISH.

- WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHTABOUT THAT WHEN YOU WERE PUTTING

SPERMICIDEON MY FRENCH CRULLER.

O'DERS RULES!

BLAKE, LET'S DAP OUT OF HERE.

- NO!OH!

- HEY, ALICE?

CAN WE, UM, HAVE A MINUTE?

- FINE.

- UH, HOMEGIRL'S DEATH, IT--

IT'S GOT US, UH--

WE'RE--WE'RE PRETTY BUTTHURTABOUT IT.

- REALLY?- YOU KNOW, WE WANT TO COME IN

TOMORROW AND JUST

PLUCK AWAYAND DO OUR DUTY HERE,

BUT I DON'T KNOWIF I'M GONNA SOUND OKAY

[high pitched]ON THE PHONES, BECAUSE I CAN'T--

- YOU SEE, HE JUST NEEDSA DAY TO GRIEVE...

- YEAH.- HAVE A GOOD CRY.

WE ALL JUST NEED A--PROBABLY A GOOD CRY.

JUST A DAY. ONE DAY.- YOU WERE GONNA CRY TOO,

THOUGH, RIGHT?- NO, I'M--I'M PROBABLY GONNA--

- SEE, HE'S CRYING TOO NOW.

- YEAH, OKAY, SO IFYOU GUYS WERE ACTUALLY UP--

- ALICE! HEY, WHAT'S UP?I--IT'S AWESOME TO, EH,

RUN INTO YOU HERE.I WAS JUST OUT THERE,

INDIVIDUALLY TALKINGWITH EVERYONE,

AND WE ALL AGREE THE BEST WAYTO COMMEMORATE HOMEGIRL'S LIFE

AND REMEMBER HER IS BYIMMEDIATELY FORGETTING HER,

AND JUST WORKINGALL DAY TOMORROW.

- OKAY, ADAM,DON'T MESS THIS UP FOR ME.

YOU KNOW HOW I AM WITH GIRLS.

I'M LIKE A BULLIN A VAGINA SHOP.

- BLAKE, IT'S NOT MY FAULT

YOU'RE NOTA RICO SUAVE DUDE, OKAY?

- I AM A RICO SUAVE--- YOU ARE NOT A RICO SUAVE--

- OKAY, ALL RIGHT,THAT IS ENOUGH.

OKAY, I DON'T KNOW WHATYOU GUYS ARE UP TO,

AND I CERTAINLY DON'T KNOWWHAT "BUTTHURT" MEANS.

BUT GUESS WHAT.

DEATH HAPPENS,AND IT'S REAL SAD.

AND WE'RE ALL STILL COMINGINTO WORK TOMORROW.

- YES! WE'LL GE--

- SHOULD WE NOT REMEMBERHOMEGIRL BY AT LEAST

HAVING SOME SORT OF SERVICE

FOR FRIENDS, AND CO-WORKERS,AND OUT-OF-TOWN GUESTS?

- I DON'T NEED THIS.- OH, YES.

THAT WOULD BEVERY GOOD.

- OKAY, FINE.TOMORROW, AFTER LUNCH,

YOU CAN HAVE A THING.

- THANK YOU.- THANK YOU.

- WE DON'T NEED A THING.- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- THIS IS NOT FA--ALICE, THIS IS NOT FAIR!

I AM HAVING THE WORST DAYOUT OF EVERYONE

IN THIS ENTIRE OFFICE...EXCEPT--EXCEPT MAYBE HOMEGIRL.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAYABOUT OUR FALLEN COMRADE?

- MM-MM.

- SHE WAS NICE.

- NICE? NICE!

SHE WAS A LOT MORE THAN NICE.

SHE WAS A--A KING OF THE HILL.

SHE WAS A LEGEND...OF THE FALL.

SHE WAS MALCOLM,WHEN MALCOLM WAS IN THE MIDDLE.

SHE WAS AN ULTIMATE FIGHTERTILL THE END.

- I NEVER TOLD HERI LOVED HER.

I GOT HER PREGNANT,BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE IT.

AND--AND NOW THERE'S NOTHINGLEFT OF HER.

- UH-OH.

- AH, IT'S OKAY, BUD.THAT'S OKAY.

THAT STUFF YOU JUST KEEPTO YOURSELF

AND NEVER TELL A SOUL,ALL RIGHT?

- SOMEONE DIEDIN YOUR OFFICE,

AND YOU INVITED USTO PARTY HERE?

- YEAH, BECAUSE, UH, IN AMERICA,WE LIKE TO CELEBRATE

LIFE AFTER DEATH, SO--

- SO, WE SHOULD PROBABLY JUST GOTAKE SOME JAGER BOMBS AT THE BAR

IN MEMORANDUM OF HOMEGIRL.

- UH-HUH, AND THEN WE CAN GETBACK TO THE VIP LOUNGE.

COME ON OVER HERE.

- YOU GUYS ABLE TO SLEEP YET?

EVERY TIME I CLOSEMY EYES I SEE HER FACE.

- MM-MM.- I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP,

BUT THEY JUST TURNEDINTO WOOLY LITTLE HOMEGIRLS.

AND THEIR NAYING.

NAA-VER FORGET.NAA-VER FORGET!

NAA--- JILLIAN, JUST A BUCKET

OF BEERS AND SOME WHISKEY?- ALL RIGHT.

- SORRY ABOUT THAT.- EXCUSE ME.

I HOPE YOU GIRLS WEREN'TPLANNING ON LEAVING,

'CAUSE YOU GUYS AREMY BEST FRIENDS.

- UH--- BY THE WAY, MY NAME'S ADAM.

YOU GUYS ARE LIKEA SHINING LIGHT.

- I'M SO SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT--

- HOMEGIRL.

YEAH, I'M PRETTYBUTTHURT ABOUT IT.

- HOW DID SHE DIE?

- [sighs]- WELL, SHE WENT PEACEFULLY,

THANK GOD.

BUT I WAS THERETHE ENTIRE TIME,

AND THE LAST THING SHE SAIDBEFORE SHE PASSED WAS,

"ADAM, YOU'RE THE BEST,AND I LOVE YOU THE MOST

OUT OF EVERYONE."AND THEN SHE WAS GONE.

BRAIN TUMOR.

THE DOCTOR SAID IT WASTHE SIZE OF A P'ZONE.

- OH, WOW.

MY GRANDMOTHER DIED FROMA BRAIN TUMOR ABOUT A YEAR AGO.

- REALLY?- IT WAS HARD AT FIRST,

BUT IT GETS BETTER.

- I KNOW I DON'T KNOWYOU TWO VERY WELL,

BUT IT WOULDHELP ME OUT A LOT

IF YOU GUYS COULD STICK AROUND,JUST A LITTLE BIT.

- YEAH.

WE CAN DO THAT.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU,I'M SO EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW.

I'M SO--OH-HO-HO-HO--

BUT HOMEGIRLLOVED CENTURY CLUB.

100 SHOTS,100 MINUTES.

I'M IN.LET'S DO THIS.

- [ahem]- LET'S DO THIS.

IT'S AN AMERICAN THING.

- UM, IF I COULD HAVEYOUR ATTENTION,

I JUST WANTEDTO LET YOU KNOW.

BLAKE AND I HAVE CHANNELEDOUR SADNESS

REGARDING HOMEGIRL'S PASSINGINTO A CHARITY

IN HOMEGIRL'S NAME.

- HOMEGIRL'S HOMEFOR GIRLS WITHOUT HOMES.

- WELL I'VE ALSO MADEAN ORGANIZATION

THAT'S GONNA RAISE MONEYTO CURE BRAIN TUMORISM.

IT'S CALLED ROLLERBLADINGACROSS THE AMERICAS.

- OH, YEAH?NORTH AND SOUTH?

- AND EAST AND WEST IF IT'LLFIND A GODDAMN CURE!

- OKAY, WELL ALL THE MONEYIN THE WORLD ISN'T GONNA

DO ANYTHINGTO BRING HOMEGIRL BACK.

THE ONLY WAYTO KEEP HOMEGIRL ALIVE

IS TO NAME STUFFAFTER HER,

LIKE CHARITIESOR SKATEBOARD TRICKS.

- HUH?- BLAKE.

- UH. [sighs]- SHOW 'EM.

- HOMEGIRL!

- WHOA.- FOREVER.

- YOU DIDN'T SHOWHER MUCH RESPECT BY

NOT USING HER REAL NAME.

- YEAH, WELL, OBVIOUSLYIT'S--IT'S THAT THEN.

- IT'S WHAT THEN?- IT'S HER NAME--IF THAT WAS--

- AND WHAT'S HER NAME, DERS?

SHE HAD A NAME, DUDE.

AND HER NAME WASROBERTA PAULSON.

HER NAMEWAS ROBERTA PAULSON.

all: HER NAMEWAS ROBERTA PAULSON!

- GUYS--

all: HER NAMEIS ROBERTA PAULSON!

HOW DO YOU SAY SEANCEIN SWEDISH?

- UH...[speaks in Swedish]

- THEN LET US HAVE...[speaks Swedish incorrectly]

- ALICE, YOU'VE GOTTO SHUT IT DOWN NOW.

- WHAT?

- HOMEGIRL'S WAKE.SHUT IT DOWN, NOW. PLEASE.

- NOBODY'S BUTTHURT.NOT ANYMORE.

WE'RE ALL, UH,WE'RE ALL BUTTHEALED.

- YUP, OUR BUTTS ARE THE PICTUREOF PERFECT HEALTH.

- PRAISE--PRAISE THE BUTT-GOD.- THE WAKE HAS TO KEEP GOING.

HER KIDS ARE ON THE WAY OVERWITH SOME KIND OF VIDEO WILL.

- WHOA.WHOSE VIDEO WILL?

IS IT LIKEA COOL LITTLE DROID DUDE?

- NO, IT'S LIKE A VIDEOWITH LAST WORDS OR WISHES.

- WAIT, NO, BUT ADAM'SUP THERE GOING OUT OF CONTROL

ON THE MIC DEVICE.HE WAS SINGING A SONG,

AND I DON'T KNOW WHATHE'S GONNA DO NEXT.

- DERS. NO, VIDEO WILL,THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

YOU KNOW, IT WOULD'VE BEEN COOLIF IT WAS A ROBOT.

VIDEO WILL?

[robot voice]VIDEO WILL. WHAT'S UP?

- MR. NATE DOGG.ARE YOU THERE?

I JUST HAVE BUT ONE QUESTIONFOR YOU, MR. NATE DOGG.

HOW DO I MAKE ITINTO HEAVEN?

[groaning, grunting]OH. OH!

AY YAY. AY YAY.

SMOKE WEED EVERY DAY.

LUCKILY, I DO,SO I GUESS I'M GOING TO HEAVEN.

LOVED, 'CAUSE SHE'S DEAD.

'CAUSE, I'M KINDOF THE MAIN OFFICE PRANKSTER.

SECOND, OF COURSE,TO ROBERTA.

- WHO'S ROBERTA?

- YOUR...MOM.YOUR MOM, ROBERTA.

- OUR MOTHER'S NAMEWAS KRISTY HOWARD-CLARK.

all: WHAT? [muttering]

- WAS IT?- KRISTY HOWARD-CLARK.

- I'VE NEVER HEARDTHAT NAME BEFORE.

- SO YOU DIDN'T REALLY KNOWTHIS WOMAN AT ALL EITHER?

- NO, BUT, LIKE,WHAT IS KNOWING, NOWADAYS?

- OKAY, WHO ARE THEY--WHO ARE YOU?

- WE'RE LEAVING.

WE JUST WANTED TO SEETHE GODDAMN HOLLYWOOD SIGN,

AND YOU RUINED OUR LAST DAYIN AMERICA.

- YOU'RE NOT GONNA THROW OUTOUR YEARS OF PEN PALLING

BACK AND FORTH OVERONE CRAZY DAY?

- I WROTE YOU FOR TWO YEARS.

AFTER MIDDLE SCHOOL, YOU WEREWRITING WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER.

[both speaking Swedish]

- FOR TEN YEARS I WAS WRITINGTO YOUR LITTLE BROTHER?

OKAY, THAT--THAT CAN'T BE TRUE.I TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME--- IT DOES.

- I HAD YOU FOR TWO YEARS.AND THE SLEEVE!

- UNBELIEVABLE, I CAN'T BELIEVEMOM WORKED WITH SUCH IDIOTS.

- BUT SHE MADE US PROMISEWE'D SHOW YOU THIS VIDEO

IF SHE EVER PREMATURELYPASSED AWAY.

- HELLO, EVERYONE.

IT'S ME, KRISTY.THE MAIN OFFICE PRANKSTER.

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFULYEARS AT TELAMERICORP.

[burps]I CHERISH THEM,

AND I CHERISH YOU.

JILLIAN, YOU WERE ALWAYS THERETO LISTEN.

- I DON'T THINKWE EVER SPOKE.

- MONTEZ, THANK YOUFOR LETTING ME BORROW

YOUR WAYNE'S WORLD DVD.SHA-WING!

AND BILL, I HAD THE BABY.SHE'S IN PHOENIX.

- PHOENIX!- AND FINALLY,

ANDERS, BLAKE, AND ALAN--- ALAN?

- THE OTHER OFFICE PRANKSTERS.

I WANTED TO SHOW YOU A PAINTINGI MADE FOR YOUR CUBICLE.

I'M SO PROUD OF IT, AND I HOPETHAT IT BRIGHTENS YOUR DAY.

- SHE WAS A PAINTER?- I DON'T KNOW.

- IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE.

PSYCH![all yelling, muttering]

CAN'T UNSEE THIS!

I'M THE MAIN OFFICE PRANKSTERFOR LIFE, YOU MOTHER[bleep]ERS.

- THIS DOESN'T AFFECT ME.I'VE SEEN A LOT OF PORNO,

THIS DOESN'T AFFECT ME.- STILL GOT IT.

Loading...