Gayborhood

  • Season 5, Ep 5
  • 02/11/2015

A wild night at a neighbor's house leads the guys to question the nature of their relationship.

[Blake groaning]

Blazer, shut up.

Close the curtains, dude.

Ow, ow, ow.

Easy with the sheets, man.

Ah, my knees.

Whose bedroom is this?

Oh, my head.

Dude, you got frostingall over your chest.

Mm.

Yummy.

[dramatic musical tone]

It's not frosting.

- What is it?- That's jizz.

There's jizz on my chest!

- Jizz!- Whoa!

It used to be frickin' wet,

but now it's dry.

- It's dry jizz.- Eww.

Why's there jizz on me?

(Ders)Um...

I...

- What?- What are you doing?

Oh, my god.Oh, my god.

[all screaming]

♪ Hello

- Hello.- Hello.

Hello.

Come on.

(Adam)Hello.

- Hi.- Hello.

- Who are they?- I don't--

Dude, are you pretendingto be gay?

What?Yeah, man.

I don't want to give thema reason to kick us out.

- This party seems pretty sweet.- That's true.

Gay dudesare like hot chicks.

They only partywith each other.

- Exactly.- Right?

Hi, I don't believewe've met.

I'm Joey,and this is Scott.

Wow, it is verysurprising to me

that we haven'trun into each other,

because we are justvery involved in the scene.

The scene?

(Adam)Yes.

The...

having sex withother gay men scene.

Discos.

Yeah, we're three-way gaywith each other.

It's just a shame we don't wearthe same sized clothes, huh?

(Scott)I guess.

So that you could weareach other's clothes.

That is the reason.

Right, yeah.

Cool party.Later, bitches.

Why are they pretendingto be gay?

Are they?

Well, that little onelooks like

he could be a bottom.

Any questions?

All right, we are ready torock and jock.

So how's this work?

Just went throughtthe whole thing.

I'm not gonna do that again.

It's, uh...

It's an obstacle course.

What do you want?

All right,everybody line up.

Whoo!It's go time.

Hoo-ra!

God,who gives a [bleep]?

You want to lay down and quit,go ahead.

But I'm gonna finish this thingthrough to the end.

You're gonna wishyou have never did that.

(Teddy)Here we go.

Green team.

[airhorn blows]

You got this.Go, go, go, go.

Yellow team airhorn.

[airhorn blows]

Everybody else, airhorn!

Get 'em,get 'em, get' em.

[airhorn blowing]

(Ders)Great form, Adam.

Thanks, man.

Learned itfrom watching you, dude.

Oh, oh.

I got you, big boy.

I got you, big boy.

Wait, Adam, wait.

My knees, they're too tender.I can't do it.

Here; use meas a human cushion.

- Okay, thank you.

[both grunting]

(Ders)Looking good, guys.

[all speaking at once]

They gaining on us.

Go!Come on, Bill.

Come on.

Yes!

Ow.

That's it, rainbow warriors.That's it.

Okay.

God damn, Bill,why you so fast?

Ooh, that's high as [bleep].

How we gonna get that?

Wait.

(Montez)Ah, man!

(Teddy)Why don't you try shouldering

the burden of your teammates.

I got it,human totem pole.

Let me upon your shoulders.

(Montez)Hell to the no,

you're not putting yourstanky-ass balls in my face.

You don't wear underwear,Bill.

It's not good for them.

(Teddy)Remember teamwork builds trust,

and trust builds success.

Adam.

Your balls, my faceright now.

That'd bea dream come true!

- Come on.- Yes!

(Blake)Go on.Get it.

Great, great, great.

I got you.

Oh!

I'm all about that bass.

Ha ha!

Okay, I'm gonnacome up now.

All right, here I go.

Get in there,rainbow warriors.

- Here we go.- Here we go.

(Ders)We're using someupper strength here.

(Blake)Okay, going up the next tier.

(Adam)Oh, god.

(Blake)Just right there, bud.

We're just gonna--whoo, you're tickling me.

I need to go higher.

Grab my butt.

It's okay.

[Adam screams]

Oh, god.Oh, god.

- I got it!- No!

(Blake)I got it.

I got it.

He--he got it.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

[airhorn blows]

(Blake)We're going to Palm Springs.

Suck it, Tez.

Don't really suck it,though.

We did that.That's 'cause of you.

That's 'cause of you.

Proud to beyour friend.

Get to the point.

To free booze.

Boom.

Okay, Ders' turn.

What is somethingthat makes you feel stuff?

Hmm?

I'm stillpretty uncomfortable

talking aboutthis stuff.

So maybe we ordera few more drinks,

and then the feelingswill just flop out.

Whoo!

(woman)♪ Calling all freaks

♪ All freaksall freaks ♪

Ah!

(Blake)Oh, you're turning me on,dude.

Here's a secret:

if ejack tastedthis good,

I'd drink it bythe frickin' gallon.

[laughs]

[together]We're here!

We're queer!

We want to drink beer!

Why isn't there beer?

[belches loudly]

I'm gonna help myself.

I can shake it so fast.

Look how fastI can shake it.

♪ Baby

We're queer!

We're here!

We're here!

[all screaming]

Bottle landedright on my head.

I dropped it righton my head.

I sucked this guy [bleep]before, I think.

(Blake)Grr, I'm gonnabutt ram you.

[laughs]

Happy Pride Day!

[screams]

Dogpile!

[all laughing]

(Blake)Oh, no!

What the [bleep]is wrong with you?

What, dude?

It's actuallystill pretty good.

(Adam)Oh, we're so bonded right now.

(Ders)We're three-way gay!