April 22, 2015 - Biking While Black & California's Drought

  • 04/22/2015

Guy Branum, Judy Gold and Kevin Johnson join Larry to examine how Californians are reacting to historic drought conditions and a critically low water supply.

>> TONIGHTLY, IT'S "EARTH DAY,"OR AS REPUBLICANS CALL IT "THE

SCIENCE STILL ISN'T CONCLUSIVEDAY."

YEP, IT'S "EARTHDAY, MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY --

AFTER CHRISTMAS, HALLOWEEN,EASTER, FLAG DAY, ARBOR DAY,

SECRETARY'S DAY AND CANADIANTHANKSGIVING."

DO YOU NEED ME TO CONTINUE?

AND FINALLY, CALIFORNIA ISRUNNING OUT OF WATER.

JUST TELL ME THEY WON'T RUN OUTBEFORE THEY GET A CHANCE TO MAKE

THAT "FULL HOUSE" REBOOT!

EVERYBODY SEPARATE YOUR PLASTICSFROM YOUR CARDBOARDS.

THIS IS "THE NIGHTLY SHOW "--LET'S DO THIS!

>> YES THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THANK YOU.

[AUDIENCE CHANTS "LARRY!"]>> THANK YOU.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>> WELCOME TO "THE NIGHTLYSHOW."

WE GOT THE WRITING AND THE PROPSALL IN ORDER FOR TONIGHT.

WE HAVE DISCUSSED IT ALL ANDIT'S ALL IN GOOD SHAPE

>> WE'RE GOING TO STARTS THESHOW WITH A NEW SEGMENT:

(SINGING) "BLACK PEOPLE CAN'T DONOTHIN'!"

>> "BLACK PEOPLE CAN'T DONOTHIN'!"

>> OK.

>> TODAY'S THING BLACK PEOPLECAN'T DO?

RIDE BICYCLES.

>> ACCORDING TO THE TAMPA BAYTIMES, IN THE PAST THREE YEARS,

TAMPA POLICE HAVE WRITTEN MORETHAN 2500 BIKE TICKETS.

AND A NEW INVESTIGATION SHOWSTHAT 8 OUT OF 10 OF THOSE

TICKETS WERE ISSUED TO -->> WAIT.

DOES ANYONE CARE TO VENTURE AGUESS WHO 8 OUR 10 OF THOSE

TICKETS WERE ISSUED TO?

KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS SEGMENTIS CALLED, "BLACK PEOPLE CAN'T

DO NOTHIN'!"

>> 8 OUT OF 10 WERE ISSUEDTO BLACK MEMBERS OF THE

COMMUNITY.

>> WE HAVE A WINNER.

'TWAS THE NEGROES.

AND THAT'S RIGHT.

8 OUT OF 10 WERE BLACK.

THAT'S AN AMAZING NUMBER.

WHITE PEOPLE HAVEN'T AVOIDEDGETTING TICKETS FOR SOMETHING

THAT MUCH SINCE BLACK "ANNIE."

YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.

YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE. I DIDN'TEVEN SEE IT.

THAT'S AN INCLUSIVE JOKE.

ACCORDING TO THE REPORT, POLICEWERE STOPPED BLACK CYCLISTS FOR

THINGS LIKE RIDING TOO SLOWLYAND RIDING WITH NO HANDS.

WHAT'S WORSE IS WHAT HAPPENED TOSOME OF THE BIKE RIDERS AFTER

THE POLICE PULLED THEM OVER.

>> WE FOUND ONE 54-YEAR-OLD MANWHO WAS RIDING ON HIS BICYCLE

AN OFFICER COULD CONFISCATED THEBICYCLE BECAUSE HE COULD NOT

PRODUCE A RECEIPT TO PROVE ITWAS HIS.

THEY PULLED A BROTHER OVER ON ABICYCLE AND ASK FOR HIS RECEIPT?

COME ON, COPS.

YOU CAN'T EVEN PEDDLE WHILEBLACK.

WELL TAMPA POLICE I WANT TOCONGRATULATE YOU BECAUSE YOU

OBVIOUSLY MUST HAVE SOLVED EVERYOTHER CRIME IN THE CITY

WHAT'S NEXT?

WE CAN'T SEGWAY WHILE BLACK?

ACTUALLY A BROTHER SHOULD NEVERGET ON A SEGWAY.

JUST SLASH THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS HAS BEEN "BLACK PEOPLECAN'T DO NOTHIN'!"

>> "BLACK PEOPLE CAN'T DONOTHIN'!"

>> WHOA.

>>WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JINGLE?

IT GOT SO SAD.

WELL ONCE IT SINKS IN, "BLACKPEOPLE CAN'T DO NOTHIN'!"

NOW TO SOMETHING I'M REALLYEXCITED ABOUT.

IT'S EARTH DAY.

[CHEERING]YEAH, SO WE BROUGHT BACK OUR

NIGHTLY SHOW BACKUP SINGERS, THENIGHTLYTES.

HID IT, LADIES.

♪♪

>> HEY, PLANET, IT'S YOUR EARFDAY --

WE GOING TO PARTY LIKE IT'S EARFDAY.

RECYCLE BOTTLES LIKE IT'S EARFDAY.

AND YOU KNOW WE DON'T GIVE A[BLEEP] BECAUSE IT'S EARF DAY.

>> LARRY: HOLD ON, LADIES.

HOLD ON.

THAT WAS GOOD.

HOLD ON.

THAT WAS GREAT.

BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE SAYING"EARF" DAY, NOT "EARTH" DAY.

>> UHM, I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOU'RETALKING ABOUT.

>> YOU'RE SAYING "EARF" DAY.

>> I THINK WE'RE SAYING THE SAME>> WE ARE ENUNCIATING.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RETALKING ABOUT.

>> I'M JUST GOING TO LEAD YOU INAND YOU'RE GOING TO SAY ONE

SMALL PART OF THE SONG OK?

>> OK.

>> APLANET, IT'S YOUR -->> EARF DAY.

>> WHAT DID YOU SAY?

>> EARF DAY.

>> EXACTLY.

>> YOU SAID EARF DAY, NOT EARTHDAY.

>> WE'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TOAGREE TO DISAGREE.

>> OK.

GET OUT OF HERE YOU GUYS.

GET OUT OF HE EVER.

IT'S NOT EARF DAY.

>> IT'S EARTH DAY.

>> CALIFORNIA IS LOOKING AT ADRY EARTH DAY.

CALIFORNIA IS GOING THROUGH THEWORST DROUGHT IN1200 YEARS.

>> 1200 YEARS, WHO IS KEEPINGWEATHER REPORTS 1200 YEARS AGO?

WITCHES?

MAN, THAT SOUNDS PRETTY BAD.

WELL, HOW MUCH WATER DO THESECALIFORNIANS NEED?

CAN'T WE JUST SEND THEM A FEWCASES OF THE SUN?

I'LL PUT IT ON MY CREDIT CARD.

I GOT THIS.

>> 11 TRILLION RAINS OF RAINWATER ARE NEEDED TO PULL THE

STATE OUT OF THIS CRISES.

>> YOU KNOW, MY CARD HASEXPIRED.

>> I MEAN I WILL GET THE NEXTDROUGHT.

>> YOU KNOW I'M ACTUALLY VERYCONCERNED ABOUT THIS BECAUSE I'M

IN CALIFORNIA ALL THE TIME.

JUST TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO DOTO HELP.

I WILL DO ANYTHING.

>> THE GOVERNOR TODAY SAID DONOT FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER EVERY

FLUSHING.

>> DOESN'T SEEM TOO CONSIDERATETO THE NEXT PERSON.

HOW ABOUT I CUT MY TRIPLE FLUSHTO A DOUBLE?

I'LL CUT OUT THE SECOND COURTESYFLUSH.

I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.

WELL, EXACTLY HOW MUCH LONGERCAN YOU LAST ON YOUR CURRENT

SUPPLY OF WATER, CALIFORNIA?

10, 20 YEARS?

>> CALIFORNIA HAS ONE YEAR LEFTOF WATER.

>> ONE YEAR LEFT OF WATER?

PEOPLE MUST BE PANICKING INTHE STREETS.

THEY MUST BE UNDER MARTIAL LAWOUT THERE.

>> BEVERLY HILLS DOES NOT TICKETWATER WASTERS

RESIDENTS HAVE ONLY BEEN ASKEDTO TURN OFF

DECORATIVE FOUNTAINS AND STOPHOSING DOWN DRIVEWAYS.

YOU'RE WAITING IN THE THE LASTYEAR OF WATER TO STOP HOSING

DOWN YOUR DRIVEWAYS?

SINCE THE GOVERNMENT ISN'TENFORCING WATER LAWS SOME PEOPLE

ARE TAKING MATTERS INTO THEIROWN PHONE HOLDING HANDS.

>> CALIFORNIA RESIDENTS ARESERIOUSLY TURNING ON THEIR

NEIGHBORS THROUGH THEIR STATE'SDROUGHT CRISES.

THEY POST VIDEO, EVEN NAMES,EVEN ADDRESSES OF THE PEOPLE OF

THESE OFFENDERS ONLINE USING#droughtshaming.

>> CALM DOWN, POSTING THEIRADDRESSES?

THEY'RE WATER WASTERS, NOT PEDOPHILES.

WHO ARE THE HEROS BEHIND THISMOVEMENT?

>> I'M A WATER CRUSADER, ASELF-APPOINTED WATER BATMAN ON

HIS FREE TIME.

>> RIDING AROUND OPEN HIS BIKE.

>> WHEN I SEE THIS I FOLLOW IT TO

THE SOURCE.

THIS IS WHAT WATER DETECTIVE?

ON THE SCENE OF PROBABLY 50WATER MASSACRES.

>> WATER MASSACRE?

THIS ISN'T "THE TRAIL OF TEARS."

IN PART BECAUSE A TRAIL OF TEARSINVOLVES MOISTURE.

>> DO YOU READY NEED TO DO THATIN THE MIDDLE OF A DROUGHT?

I'LL BE BACK FOR YOUR ADDRESS.

I'VE BEEN WAITING TO CATCH YOU,LADY.

>> NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RETHINKING.

IS HE SINGLE?

CALM DOWN LADIES.

OK.

SO THIS GUY IS A BIT OF A JERK.

BUT HE KIND OF HAS A POINT.

MAYBE SHAME IS ALL WE HAVE LEFTTO MAKE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW

BAD OF PROBLEM CALIFORNIA ISFACING.

HERE TO HELP US UNDERSTANDCALIFORNIA'S DROUGHT

CRISES IS REAL LIFE DROUGHTSHAMER THOMAS KEEN.

>> THANKS FOR BEING HERE,THOMAS.

SO THOMAS, YOU'RE A DROUGHTSHAMER?

>> WRONG, LARRY.

I'M A "WATER CRUSADER."

>>>> SO YOU JUST RIDE AROUND ALL

ALONE ON YOUR BIKE YELLING ATPEOPLE?

>> I WASN'T ALONE EARLIER.

I WAS WITH MY FRIEND GREG BUTHE'S BLACK.

HE GOT BUSTED FOR RIDING WITHOUTA RECEIPT.

THAT'S ON HIM.

ALWAYS GOT TO HAVE YOUR BIKERECEIPT.

>> YEAH, THAT SOUNDSUNFORTUNATE.

>> THEM'S THE RULES.

>> IT IS THE RULES.

>> SORRY.

I GOT CAR WASH VIOLATOR UPAHEAD.

HEY, HOSEY O'DONNELL, SHUT THATTHING OFF!

YOU'RE DRIVING A DAMN DAEWOO.

YOU DON'T NEED TO WASH THATPIECE OF CRAP.

>> I GOT HIM.

BUSTED.

>> THOMAS, YOU SOUND ALITTLE HARSH.

>> HARSH IS THE ONLY LANGUAGETHESE PEOPLE UNDERSTAND.

IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP,CALIFORNIA.

>> WELL, ISN'T IT UNFAIR TO --TO TAKE PEOPLE'S ADDRESSES?

>> HOLD THAT THOUGHT.

I GOT A COUPLE OF LITTLE GUYSHAVE A WATER GUNFIGHT ON MY SIX.

Don't you know we're almost outOF WATER, YOU LITTLE IDIOTS?

OH, YOU'RE GOING TO CRY NOW?

WHY DON'T YOU FILL UP YOURSQUIRT GUN WITH YOUR TEARS!

>> THOMAS, THOMAS!

CALM DOWN, THOMAS.

NO, DON'T TAKE PICTURES OF THEKIDS.

THOMAS, THOSE ARE CHILDREN.

>> BUSTED THEM, LARRY.

BUSTED THEM.

THAT WAS A WATER HOLOCAUST IJUST DEALT WITH

>> I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF YOUTHINK SHAMING PEOPLE IS REALLY

THE ANSWER.

>> I'M GETTING A CALL ON MYCRUSADER PHONE.

>> YEAH.

SON OF A BITCH.

ON MY WAY.

>> WHAT'S WRONG.

>> JUST GOT WORD FROM THE OTHERCRUSADERS THERE'S A

GRANDMA ABOUT TO GET AN IV ATCEDARS-SINAI.

SELFISH BATTLE AXE.

>> WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

THAT'S SOMEBODY'S GRANDMOTHERYOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

>> BIG DEAL, WHAT ABOUT MOTHEREARTH?

SHE'S EVERYBODY'S GRANDMOTHER!

GOTTA ROLL.

>> DID YOU JUST SPIT? I'M GOINGTO KILL YOU.

>> THOMAS, THE WATER CRUSADER,EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

DON'T GO AFTER THAT LADY.

>> JOINING OUR PANEL TONIGHT,VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN, JUST

RELEASED HIS NEW ALBUMUP IS THE VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN,

HE'S JUST RELEASED HIS NEW ALBUM"EFFABLE" ON ITUNES,

GUY BRANUM.

STARRING IN "CLINTON, THEMUSICAL" COMEDIAN AND ACTRESS

JUDY GOLD.

AND HE'S A FORMER NBA STAR ANDNOW THE STAR OF SACRAMENTO

CALIFORNIA, MAYOR KEVIN JOHNSON.

[ APPLAUSE ]>> TONIGHT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT

CALIFORNIA'S DROUGHT.

FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO SHOW YOUSOME PHOTOS.

HERE ARE SOME STRIKING BEFOREAND AFTER PHOTOS FROM THE LAKE

OROVILLE REGION IN NORTHERNCALIFORNIA.

CHECK OUT THE DIFFERENCE INWATER LEVELS BETWEEN 2011 AND

2014.

THAT IS THREE YEARS.

LOOK AT THAT.

THAT'S AMAZING.

RIGHT?

I'M FROM CALIFORNIA.

I WAS JUST THERE.

I DON'T THINK PEOPLE ARECHANGING THEIR WAYS TOO MUCH.

SEE PEOPLE WATERING ALL KINDS OFSTUFF.

REALLY NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

IF YOU ASK PEOPLE AROUND THECOUNTRY, THEY GO, OK, WHY AREN'T

PEOPLE TAKING THIS THATSERIOUSLY?

>> WATER IS FREE.

IT FEELS LIKE IT'S FREE.

JUST TURN IT -- IT'S HARD TOTAKE SOME THINGS SERIOUSLY WHEN

YOU POOP INTO IT.

[LAUGHTER]THAT'S WHY I BROKE UP WITH

DEREK.

>> GOING TO GET PERSONAL.

IS IT THAT WE JUST TAKE IT FORGRANTED.

>> WE TAKE EVERYTHING FORGRANTED IN THIS COUNTRY.

AND THE OTHER THING IS, PEOPLEDON'T BELIEVE IN SCIENCE.

LIKE THAT CONGRESSMAN THATBROUGHT A SNOWBALL INTO

CONGRESS.

OH, THERE'S NO CLIMATE CHANGE.

LOOK, OH, MY GOD YOU'REBRILLIANT.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT THEY THINKTHAT JESUS OR GOD OR WHOEVER IS

GOING TO BE LIKE, OK, YOU RANOUT OF WATER, HERE YOU GO, HERE

IS SOME BREAD, HERE ISEVERYTHING, IT'S ALL COMING FROM

HEAVEN.

THAT'S WHAT THEY BELIEVE.

I'M NOT KIDDING.

>> MAYOR YOU'RE IN CALIFORNIA.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING THERE TOSOLVE THIS?

ARE YOU GOING TO HIRE JESUS TOFIX THIS?

IS THIS A SCIENCE PROBLEM OR -->> LARRY, FIRST OF ALL YOU KNOW

IT'S THE NBA PLAYOFFS.

>> WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUTBASKETBALL?

>> SO -->> SO YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THIS

STUFF RIGHT NOW?

>> WE GOT TWO DROUGHT PROBLEMS.

OUR BASKETBALL TEAM HASN'T MADETHE PLAYOFFS IN MANY YEARS SO WE

HAVE A DROUGHT FOR THE PLAYOFFS.

>> NICE SEGUE.

>> SO DO THE NEW YORK KNICKSFANS AS WELL, THERE'S A DROUGHT.

>> THEY HAVE MADE THE PLAYOFFSRECENTLY.

>> YOU'RE GOING TO TORTURE MEWITH BASKETBALL TALK?

I THOUGHT WE WERE DEALING WITHREAL ISSUES!

>> WAIT.

THE KNICKS NOT WINNING IN 40YEARS IS ALMOST SADDER THAN THE

DROUGHT.

>> I THINK WE'RE DONE TALKINGABOUT THE DROUGHT.

>> YOU ASKED ABOUT JESUS HELPINGWITH THE DROUGHT.

HE COULD TURN WATER INTO WINE.

IF HE COULD TURN CALIFORNIA'SWINE BACK INTO WATER, WE'D BE

FINE.

>> DON'T DO IT LIKE THAT.

JESUS POURING THE WINE.

I'M FASCINATED AT HOW MUCH --HOW CROPS TAKE UP SO MUCH WATER.

ONE THAT GOT ME WAS ABOUTALMONDS. EVERYONE LOVES ALMONDS

10 PERCENT OF CALIFORNIA'S WATERGOES TO ALMOND FARMING.

GUY, YOUR FAMILY HAS AN ALMONDFARM, RIGHT?

CAN WE BLAME YOUR FAMILY FOR THEDROUGHT.

>> THAT'S WHY HE IS "NUTS"?

[LAUGHTER]SHUT UP!

YOU THINK OF STUFF ON THE SPOTHERE.

>> MY PARENTS NO LONGER HARVESTTHEIR ALMONDS. THEY'RE MAINLY

JUST GROWING VERY WELL-FED RATSNOW

I THINK THE PROBLEM IS PRIMARILYWOMEN'S MAGAZINES THAT --

>> WOMEN'S MAGAZINE?

>> THEY SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM WITHALMONDS.

LIKE OH, YOU NEED A HEALTHYBREAKFAST?

EAT NINE ALMONDS.

SNACK RESPONSIBLY AT PARTIES,EAT NINE ALMONDS.

WE NEED TO ADDRESS THIS PROBLEMAT THE SOURCE.

HAVE JENNY McCARTHY TELL WOMENALMONDS CAUSE AUTISM.

>> NIGHTLY SHOW ASSERTS ALMONDSCAUSE AUTISM

LOOK IT IS TRUE THAT AGRICULTUREIS A MAJOR DEAL FOR CALIFORNIA.

THAT'S WHERE MOST OF THE WATERGOES.

CAN WE JUST HAVE FRIED FOOD FROMNOW ON?

>> WELL WE HAVE FINED KENTUCKYFRIED CHICKEN FOR USING TOO MUCH

WATER.

WE'RE SERIOUS ABOUT -->> YOU KNOW THAT WATER JUST TO

WASH THAT CHICKEN DOWN.

>> I TELL YOU WHAT, LITERALLYFOR SACRAMENTO, AGRICULTURE,

WHICH GUY KNOWS IS A MAJORINDUSTRY, WE'RE THE 7th

LARGEST ECONOMY IN THE WORLD, INCALIFORNIA, AND WE HAVE TO

BALANCE OUR WATER USE BECAUSEIT'S OUR FARMERS AND OUR

VINEYARDS AND OUR RANCHERS, ALLGROW FOOD FOR EVERYBODY AROUND

THE WORLD WHICH IS REALLYIMPORTANT, SO IN SACRAMENTO WHAT

WE HAVE TRIED TO DO IS TO DO THESMALL THINGS THAT YOU NEED TO DO

WELL, LIKE TURNING OFF THE WATERWHEN YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND

TAKE SHORTER SHOWERS.

>> AND I'VE NOTICED.[AUDIENCE GROANS]

>> OH I'M KIDDING! WHY DO THEYHATE ME?

WHY?

>>>> WE ARE ALSO GIVING REBATES TO

PEOPLE WHO ARE DOING THINGS WITHTHE TOILET IN A GOOD WAY THAT

ARE ENERGY EFFICIENT.

>> YOU JUST SET HIM UP.

>> EXACTLY.

>> THERE'S A LOT FROM THREE DAYSAGO AND HERE IS A REBATE.

>> WE'RE SO ENTITLED, ARETHERE THINGS THAT

WE JUST DON'T WANT TO DO TOCONSERVE WATER.

JUDY DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING, IDON'T COMPARE WHAT THEY SAY.

IF THEY SAY WATER IS LEAVING USTOMORROW, WHAT DO YOU NOT WANT

TO GIVE UP?

>> WELL, I REALLY DON'T WANT TOGIVE UP WINE.

I KNOW THAT THAT IS PART OFTHE -- YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET WINE

FROM OTHER PLACES THANCALIFORNIA

>> I KNOW, BUT THE WINE FROMCALIFORNIA IS SO GOOD.

AND YOU KNOW, I -- SOMETIMES INEED TO FLUSH, LIKE YOU WERE

SAYING, I NEED TO FLUSH MORE.

I'M A LARGE PERSON.

AND I HAVE TEENAGE BOYS.

YOU HAVE TO FLUSH THAT.

I'M SORRY.

I CAN'T -- I CAN'T!

GUYS, ANYTHING?

>> I CANNOT GIVE UP SOUTHERNCALIFORNIA POOL PARTIES.

LIKE POOL PARTIES.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY IT GETSBETTER TO A KID IN THE MIDWEST

IF THERE'S NO CHANCE OF HIMGOING TO THE HOLD HILLS AND

GETTING INTO A POOL WITH ANA-LIST ACTION MOVIE DIRECTOR.

>> THAT MAKES SENSE.

KEVIN?

ANYTHING?

>> POOL PARTIES OR PULL PARTIES?

>> PULL PARTIES

AFTER LISTENING TO THESE TWO I'MNOT SURE YOU GUYS ARE WELCOME

BACK TO CALIFORNIA IN ALLSERIOUSNESS.

>> THE WITNESS: I THINK I MAY BEWILLING TO CUT BACK ON MY FIVE

HOUR SHOWERS.

WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> WELCOME BACK.

WE'RE GOING TO PLAY A GAME RIGHTNOW CALLED WHICH TAKES MORE

WATER, OK?

KIND OF A CELEBRATION OF EARTHDAY.

I'M GOING TO NAME TWO THINGS ANDYOU TELL ME WHICH ONE TAKES MORE

TO BE PRODUCED.

IF YOU GET IT RIGHT YOU GET TODRINK WATER.

IF YOU GET IT WRONG YOU HAVE TOEAT A SALTINE.

IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIMULATEDROUGHT TRADITIONS.

>> THIS IS SUCH A JEWISH GAME.

WE EAT THAT FOR EVERYTHING.

>> AND JUST TO START OFF YOUHAVE TO EAT TWO CRACKERS.

AND I WILL ASK THE FIRSTQUESTION: EAT THEM UP.

COME ON.

YOU GOT IT?

>> COME ON, YOU CAN DO IT.

>> THERE'S NO WATER.

NO WATER.

>>PUT THAT RIGHT THERE.

>> EAT ANOTHER CRACKER.

>>>> OK.

WHICH -- JUDY, LISTEN UP.

WHICH TAKES MORE WATER, A POUNDOF AVOCADO OR A POUND OF PLASTIC

>> POUND OF AVOCADO?

>> AVOCADO.

>> IT'S AVOCADO.

>> YES.

OK.

>> EAT ANOTHER CRACKER.

>> 74 POUNDS.

WHAT IS GOING ON OVER HERE.

>> I WAS JUST ENJOYING MY WATER.

>> FILLING UP A LARGE KIDDIEPOOL OR MAKING A 50 FOOT GARDEN

HOSE.

WHICH ONE REQUIRES MORE WATER.

>> QUICKLY.

>> 50 FOOT HOSE.

>> THE HOSE.

>> HOSE.

>> I'M GOING TO GO WITH POOL.

>> EAT THE CRACKER.

HOSE.

OK.

IT TAKES 638 GALLONS TO MAKE THEHOSE.

>> KIDDIE POOL, 250 GALLONS.

HERE IS ONE THAT I DID NOT KNOW.

A LOAF OF BREAD OR ONE GREEKYOGURT.

>> GREEK YOGURT.

>> OK.

>> GREEK YOGURT.

>> LOAF OF BREAD, IT TAKES13 GALLONS OF WATER TO MAKE A

LOAF OF BREAD.

AND 90-GALLONS TO MAKE GREEKYOGURT.

YOU DIDN'T GET IT RIGHT.

>> I SAID GREEK YOGURT.

>> I HEARD YOU.

OK.

WE HAVE TIME FOR ONE MORE.

HERE IS A GOOD ONE.

A BARREL OF BEER OR A CAR.

THIS IS FOR ALL OF THE CRACKERS.

>> FOR ALL OF THE CRACKERS.

>> THAT'S LIKE A FUN EVENING.

>> WHICH ONE IS IT, BARREL OFBEER OR CAR.

>> BEER.

>> BEER.

>> CAR.

>> CAR.

>> IT'S THE CAR.

>> 39,000 -- COME ON, GUYS IT'SA CAR.

39,000.

ALL OF THE CRACKERS.

ALL OF THE CRACKERS.

WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK AFTERTHIS.

>> OK.

THAT'S ALL OF THE TIME WE HAVEFOR TONIGHT.

THANKS TO OUR PANELISTS, GUYBRANUM.

JUDY GOLD AND MAYOR JOHNSON.JUDY HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE SHE

HAD TO GO TO A PLAY

GIVE THEM A NICE ROUND OFAPPLAUSE.

[ APPLAUSE ]>>

[ APPLAUSE ]FINALLY TONIGHT, AS THOSE OF YOU

WHO FOLLOW US ON TWITTER KNOW,ONE WRITER ON MY STAFF LIVE

TWEETS THE SHOW EACH NIGHT.

TONIGHT THAT WRITER IS TIMSEIDELL.

SO "FOLLOW" @nightlyshow ONTWITTER AND JOIN IN THE LIVE

TWEET.

AND IF FACEBOOK IS MORE YOURTHING "LIKE" THE NIGHTLY SHOW TO

KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING WE'REDOING ONLINE.

GOOD NIGHTLY, EVERYONE.

[CHEERING] Captioning sponsored by

COMEDY CENTRAL Captioned by

Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

SCIENCE STILL ISN'T CONCLUSIVEDAY."

RELEASED HIS NEW ALBUMUP IS THE VERY FUNNY COMEDIAN,