Wednesday, April 2, 2014

  • 04/02/2014

Rhys Darby, Amber Tamblyn and Kurt Braunohler list #ButtFlix titles, sing patriotic theme songs and fill in the blanks on OkCupid profiles.

RIPPED FROM TODAY'S HEADLINES,IT'S RAPID REFRESH!

>> FACEBOOK IS TESTING PRIVACYDINOSAUR, HELPING USERS MANAGE

WHO CAN SEE THEIR POSTS.

THEY HAD SOME OF THE FOLLOWINGMESSAGES.

SORRY TO INTERRUPT, YOU HAVEN'TCHANGED WHO IS SEEING YOUR POST

RECENTLY SO WE WANT TO MAKE SUREYOU'RE SHARING IT TO THE RIGHT

AUDIENCE.

WELL [BLEEP] THANK YOU.

WHAT WOULD BE A BETTER MESSAGEFOR YOU? RHYS DARBY.

>> STOP DOING THAT AND CLIMB ATREE, YOU [BLEEP] HEAD.

>> NOT ENOUGH TREE CLIMBING INOUR CULTURE ANYMORE.

>> WE'VE STILL GOT IT IN NEWZEALAND.

[LAUGHTER]WHAT ABOUT YOU KURT.

>> HEY KURT NOTICED IT'S 2:00 AMAND THESE ARE JUST QUOTES FROM

SAD SONGS.

ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T MEANJUST TO GO TO BED?

[LAUGHTER]>> THIS IS THE LIKE THE SEQUEL

TO "HER."

[LAUGHTER]>> NOW, UPROXX EXPOSED WHO

BRETT LAWRIE FOLLOWS ON TWITTERSO COMEDIANS, WHICH OF THE

FOLLOWING IS AN ACCOUNT THATLAWRIE REPORTEDLY FOLLOWS.

A, ASS BIBLE.

B, JUICY CANKLES.

C, ONLY THIRD NIPPLES.

AMBER.

>> JUICY CANKLES.

>> NO, THE CORRECT ANSWER IS ASSBIBLE.

[APPLAUSE]>> THERE SEEMS TO BE A THEME

BECAUSE HE ALSO FOLLOWS CHEEKSFOR WEEKZ -- AND ONLY THE BEST

ASS. HE UNFOLLOWED A FEW OF THEMAFTER THIS ARTICLE CAME OUT,

BUT NOT ALL. HE STILL FOLLOWSBRO SHE SQUATS, RIGHT THERE

NOW IT'S TIME FORTONIGHT'S HASHTAGWARS.

[APPLAUSE]>> BRETT LAWRIE'S LIFE IS

SEWN TOGETHER WITH BUTSS.

I'M SURE IT ALL REVOLVES AROUND BUTTS IN SOME WAY.

WE DON'T HAVE A STREAMING DEVICETO SHOW THOSE THINGS SO TONIGHT

IT'S, BUTTFLIX.

YOU MIGHT SEE THESE ON ABUTT-THEMED STREAMING

ENTERTAINMENT SERVICE.

EXAMPLES OF THIS MIGHT BE RECTUMRALPH.

[LAUGHTER]OR ORANGE IS THE NEW BROWN.

[LAUGHTER]BABY'S GOT BACK TO THE FUTURE.

ANY OF THESE WOULD WORK FORBUTTFLIX.

I'LL PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE CLOCKAND GO.

YES KURT.

>> ONE FLEW OVER THE POOPOO'S>> SISTERHOOD OF THE

TRAVELING OF THE HOT PANTS.

>> RIDERS OF LOST [BLEEP]HOLE>> YES, KURT.

>> TEENAGE MUTANT NINJAI'M TURTLING.

[APPLAUSE]>> I GOT AMBER.

>> SOMEBODY BUZZ IN.

>> INDIANA AND THE ASS CRUSADE.

>> YOU'RE REALLY STUCK ON THATSERIES RIGHT NOW.

>> THERE WILL BE BLOOD IN YOURSTOOL.

[LAUGHTER]>> KURT.

>> FORREST DUMPER.

>> THE CRYSTAL SKULL.

THAT'S JUST THE NORMAL ONE.

>> YES YES.

NO WAIT, I'M GOING TO GIVE HIMFIVE FOR THAT.

[APPLAUSE]>> AMBER.

>> REAR WINDOW.

>> YES, THAT WORKS.

>> KURT.

>> INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS.

>> AND OUT SIDE LLEWYN DAVIS.

>> YES, THAT MOVIE SUCKED.

I'M REALLY GOOD AT.

I'M REALLY GOOD AT.

[APPLAUSE]>> OKCUPID HELPS FIND ROMANCE.

ONE CATEGORY IN A PROFILE ISI'M REALLY GOOD AT AND YOU FILL

IN WHATEVER IT IS TO HELPFURTHER YOUR GENES.

I WILL GIVE YOU A REAL PICTUREFROM OKCUPID, AND YOU TELL ME

WHAT THAT PERSON IS GOOD AT.

IF IT'S FUNNY, YOU GET POINTS.

LET'S BEGIN.

THE FIRST ONE.

THIS GUY LOOK AT THAT.

I'M REALLY GOOD AT WHAT?

YES, KURT.

>> WHISPERING SECRETS TO TOES.

[LAUGHTER]>> A FOOT WHISPER, IF YOU WILL.

POINTS.

>> HER FEET ARE IN A PIE TIN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT COCAINE IS.

[LAUGHTER][APPLAUSE]

>> LET'S GO TO THE NEXT ONE.

THIS GUY IS, THIS GUY ISWICKEDCLOWN89, IF YOU'RE PLAYING

HOME. WHAT IS HE REALLY GOOD AT.

>> DISAPPOINTING HIS PARENTS.

YEP.

[APPLAUSE]>> HE'S ALSO REALLY GOOD AT

GETTING HIS FINGERS CAUGHT INMACHINES.

[LAUGHTER]>> LAST ONE LAST ONE.

WHAT'S USER JOCKGEEK GOOD AT.

WHAT A WELCOMING AND INVITINGIMAGE.

YES, KURT.

>> ENDLESS NIGHTMARES.

SLASH INVESTMENT BANKING.

>> EVEN HIS HANDS ARE UNICORNS.

LOCO-MERCIALS.

[APPLAUSE]WITH APOLOGY TO EARTHQUAKES AND

COURTENEY LOVE, LOCALCOMMERCIALS ARE THE MOST

UNPREDICTABLE FORCE ON THEPLANET.

I'LL GIVE YOU A NAME OF THE ALOCAL BUSINESS AND YOU TELL ME

WHAT HAPPENS IN THEIRCOMMERCIALS.

LITTLE JOHN'S PAWNSHOP DOES ITFEATURE AN ANIMATED DOLLAR BILL

OR SUPER GOLD MANRHYS.

>> YES, THAT WORKS.

YOU HAVE TO GO WITH SUPERGOLDMAN.

>> LET'S FIND OUT.

♪ >> OH MY GOD, THAT'S AMAZING

[APPLAUSE]>> IS THE CITY BULLING UP BEHIND

THEM.

DID SUPER GOLDMAN REMOVE ALLTHE GOLD FROM THE CITY?

>> NO, HE JUST FARTED.

>> THAT'S HOW HE TAKES OFF.

>> BIG AL PIZZA, DO THEY GETATTACKED BY AN OWL OR SHOT

BY A MOBSTER NAMED AL CALZONE.

>> I'LL GO WITH COMPUTER OWL.

>> ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT.

OH.

>> YOU IDIOT, I SAID BIG AL'SPIZZA, NOT BIG OWL'S PIZZA

>> YOU IDIOT, I SAID BIG AL'SPIZZA, NOT BIG OWL'S PIZZA

>> THAT'S INSULTING.

>> I WAS FINE WITH THE IDEA THATTHE OWL GOT THERE FINE, THEN

WAS JUST, YOU CANNOT CONTAIN MEHOGWARTS PIZZA DELIVERY.

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