The Lord's Force

  • 07/10/2012

The guys welcome two members of their favorite faith-based strong man group into their home.

SORRY, FRIENDS.

YOU NEED TICKETSTO GET IN.

- NO, THEY SAID WE ACTUALLYDIDN'T NEED

TO BRING OUR STUBS OUT HERE,WE LEFT 'EM IN THERE.

HATE CARRYINGTOO MANY STUBS AROUND.

- OH, WELL, I HATE ITWHEN JOKESTERS

TRY TO PULLA FAST ONE ON ME,

SO, WHY DON'T YOU GUYS GOAND, UH, GET OUTTA LINE, PLEASE?

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.- OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHAT?WE'LL COME CLEAN.

WE NEVER BOUGHT TICKETS.WE'RE LYING TO YOU,

WHICH PROVES WE NEED TO GET INTHERE AND SEE THE LORD'S FORCE

SO WE CAN BECOMEBETTER PEOPLE

AND NOT LIAR PEOPLE.

- OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.- OH! OH! WATCH IT!

- GET OUTTA THE WAY!GET OUTTA THE WAY!

- HEY.- WHAT'S UP?

- HOW YOU GUYS DOING?- GOOD.

- [screeching]

- OKAY, I'M SORRY, THEY'RE--THEY'RE A LITTLE STARSTRUCK.

I DON'T GET STARSTRUCK.

I SAW TONY SHALOUBAT THE AIRPORT ONE TIME.

DIDN'T EVEN MENTION MONK.

JUST WINKED.

- AH, COOL.UH, DID YOU GUYS ENJOY THE SHOW?

- NO, 'CAUSE WEDIDN'T EVEN SEE IT.

SOMEBODY DIDN'T KNOWWE HAD TO GET TICKETS.

ARGH! YOU SHOULD JUSTSHOOT YOURSELF IN THE HEAD

AND PUT IT ON YOUTUBE!

- OH, THAT'S TOO BAD. WELL,IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU GUYS.

- YEAH.STAY STRONG, USE HIS POWER.

- WAIT, HANG ON.

UM, WE'RE GONNAGO OUT FOR A BEER.

DO YOU GUYS WANT BEERS?WE'LL BUY YOU BEERS.

- I COULD GO FOR ONE.IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

- YOU KNOWTHAT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA.

HEY, THANKS A LOT, GUYS.

- WAIT. UH--

- NO. HEY!- ADAM--

- NO, PLEASE! PLEASE LET USBUY YOU BEER, PLEASE!

YOU GUYS ARE MY HERO!

- EASY, THERE, TIGER.BACK IN YOUR CAGE.

- [chuckles]- [gibberish]--BUY YOU A BEER?

- ONE BEER.

- YEAH! ONE BEER!- YES!

I KNOW WHAT YOU SAW,BUT, UM, IT WASN'T REAL.

[laughter]

- NO, YOU GUYSDEFINITELY AREN'T GAY.

NOBODY'S SAYING YOU'RE GAY.- NO.

- DUDES WITH GIANT MUSCLESARE NEVER GAY.

- YEAH. EXACTLY.

- OKAY, I'M SORRY, BUT...

MAYBE I AM GAY.

- WHAT? NO.[laughs]

ALL RIGHT, WELL,MAYBE YOU ARE, BUT I'M NOT.

[laughter]- HE'S NOT.

- NO, YOU GUYS WERE JUST DRUNK,PLAYING GAY CHICKEN.

SOMETIMES WHEN I GET DRUNK,

I GO TO BOSTON MARKET,I EAT CHICKEN.

WE'RE LIKE THE SAME DUDES.

- YEAH, YOU'RE DRUNK.

WEIRD THINGS HAPPENWHEN YOU'RE DRUNK.

LAST WEEK, I GOT DRUNK, I ATETHE BAND OFF MY WRISTWATCH.

I THOUGHTIT WAS BEEF JERKY.

[laughter]

- I DON'T KNOW,I'M JUST...

I'M JUST VERY CONFUSEDABOUT EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW.

- OKAY, LOOK, YOU WERE DRUNK.YOU'RE SOBER NOW.

WHY DON'T WE GETTO THE BOTTOM OF THIS?

JUST KISS EACH OTHER REAL QUICK,YOU KNOW,

AND THEN YOU'LLPROBABLY HATE IT,

AND WE CAN GET TO THIS PROPOSAL,'CAUSE I GOT SOME IDEAS.

- THERE YOU GO.

ONE TIME, LITTLE THING,YOU'LL SEE IT WAS JUST A FLUKE,

AND WE'LL MOVE ON WITH THE DAY.- MM-HMM.

- YEAH, OR YOU DON'T HAVE TO.OR YOU CAN JUST NOT DO THAT.

- DRUNK NIGHT.

- TOTALLY STRAIGHT.- BOOM. OKAY.

- THAT WAS A STRAIGHT DUDE KISS.- LET'S GO.

LET'S GO EAT SOME EGGSOR SOMETHING.

- YUP, NO FEELINGS THERE.

NO FEELINGS THERE, RIGHT?- GOOD CALL, THERE.

GOOD--WHAT ARE THEY--- YEAH, GOOD--

- WHA--WHY? WHY?

- STRAIGHT DUDES KISSIN'.- YEAH.

- AHH...

- WHAT'S GOING ONOVER HERE?

- WHOA--WHY?[shouting]

MY PREDATOR BONG!- ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!

BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP!RIGHT NOW!

- JEEZ LOUISE!- AND WE ARE BACK.

OKAY, SO...- [clears throat]

- I'M JUST GONNA MOVE ON, UM,BECAUSE I HAD A PROPOSAL

THAT I WAS GOING TOGIVE TO YOU GUYS,

AND HERE IT IS.- YES.

- LET'S START A NEW RIVAL SQUADTO THE LORD'S FORCE.

WE CAN, UH, WORK OUT HERE,

WE CAN EVEN PERFORMIN THE FRONT YARD...

GUYS--OKAY...- GENTLEMEN?

- WHY DON'T YOU GUYSJUST GO THINK OF A NEW NAME,

WE'LL BE HEREBRAINSTORMING.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

[Barry White's Let's Get It On]

- ♪ COME ON, BABY

♪ LET'S DO IT TONIGHT

- OH, UH, I'M SORRY.DO YOU GUYS MIND IF I, UH...

- COME BACK LATER.- AND I WILL.

- ♪ COME ON, BABY

- OH, SORRY, DUDE.DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE IN HERE.

- NO WORRIES.

[laughs]

- YOU GUYSARE SHOWERING TOGETHER?

TO CONSERVE WATER.PFFT.

YUP.VERY CONSIDERATE.

[wheezes]WHAT?

YOU GUYS HAVEMONSTER [bleep].

CHICKS MUST LOVESUCKING THOSE.

CONGRATULATIONS.THAT'S AWESOME.

- HEY, GUYS.

FIRST OF ALL,I JUST WANT TO SAY

WE ARE GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE.IT'S BEEN GREAT.

- YES, AND WE HAVE NOTICEDTHAT YOU HAVE GOTTEN VERY...

C-COMFORTABLE,AND WE'RE ACTUALLY COMFORTABLE

WITH YOUR COMFORTABLENESS.

- I'M SO COMFORTABLEWITH YOU GUYS BEING HERE,

BUT BE CAREFUL.

'CAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'REINJURING YOURSELVES AT NIGHT

WHEN YOU'RE WORKING OUT,

AND NIGHTTIME'S A VERYDANGEROUS TIME TO WORK OUT.

- ANYWAY, UH,GIVEN, YOU KNOW,

THE EVENTSOF THE LAST DAY OR SO,

WE'VE REVISED THE PROPOSALTHAT WE HAD THE OTHER DAY

TO SOMETHINGA LITTLE MORE APROPOS.

ADAM.

WE GIVE YOU...

THE GAYLORD'S FORCE!- HA-HA?

THE GAYLORD'S FORCE.

IF YOU CAN TAKETHE PAIN OF A MAN'S UNIT

PRESSING INTO YOUR [bleep],

YOU'VE GOT THE STRENGTHTO DO ANYTHING.

- IS ONE SLOGANTHAT WE'RE TOYING WITH.

- YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLYHAVEN'T SEEN THIS T-SHIRT,

AND I DON'T APPROVE OF IT.

OKAY? BUT I WILLBE A JUNIOR MEMBER OF THE CREW,

SO, I SHOULD PROBABLYAUDITION FOR YOU RIGHT NOW.

CHECK THIS OUT.

FROOT LOOPS EVERYWHERE!- WHOO!

- YEAH. AND I'M GEARING UPFOR THE REAL THING!

A FREAKIN' PHONE BOOK!LET'S DO THIS!

- GIVE IT TO 'EM, ADAM.

- I DON'T HAVEMY PHONE BOOK HERE.

I'M SO SORRY. I DON'T HAVE IT.- GET THE PHONE BOOK.

- HURRY UP, HURRY UP.

- SO, YOU SEE WHEREWE'RE GOING WITH THIS, RIGHT?

IT'S BASICALLY A POWERFUL,HEALTHY MESSAGE

THAT BEING GAYDOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE WEAK,

OR, UM...- MMM...

- OKAY, WHAT'RE YOU DOING?

- ARE YOU HAVING SEXWITH EACH OTHER?

- WE'RE NOT HAVING SEX.WE'RE JUST...

SOAKING.- [chuckles]

YEAH, BUT I THINKTHIS SOAK

IS ABOUT TO TURNINTO A POWER WASH,

SO, IF YOU BOYSWOULDN'T MIND SCOOTING ALONG.

- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?- [clears throat]

- I DON'T MIND HAVING YOU HERE.RIGHT?

I DON'T EVEN MIND ALLTHE SUCKIN', AND THE SCREWIN',

AND THE SCREAMIN'WHEN YOU EJAC.

BUT I NEED TO KNOW IF YOU WANNABE A PART OF THIS SHOW OR NOT.

'CAUSE IF YOU DO, I NEED YOUTO PULL OUT OF HIS [bleep]

AND GET TO WORKING!DO YOU GET ME?

- OKAY, OKAY, RELAX.SOUNDS COOL.

- WE'RE INTERESTED.

- ALL RIGHT.- YEAH!

OH, OH, HAND CRAMP.HAND CRAMP. THAT HURTS.

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