Amazon Women in the Mood

  • Season 3, Ep 1
  • 01/21/2001

The crew gets stranded on a planet of Amazonian women.

I'm calling to negotiatea double date.

You and me, Kif and Amy.

Forget it.

Then let thenegotiations begin.

I propose we goout on ten dates.

How about zero?

Nine.Zero.

Seven.Zero.

Eight?Please, Leela?

Kif's, like, the sweetestguy who's ever liked me.

Five, and that's my final offer.

Four.

(sighs)

One.Two.

One half.I'll take it.

We'll meet you tonightfor part of dinner

and the first halfof a movie.

( swing music playing )

Sir, I don't goout on many dates

and what if I can't thinkof anything to say?

Here's my personal bookof pick up lines.

Say as many of them as you canas fast as you can.

Don't stop for any reason.

Maybe I'll just giveher these flowers.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

And what's that? Candy?

Candy's for dorks.

Give me that.

Mmm.

( big band music playing )

Hello, beautiful.

I got these for you.

Thanks.

Well, well, well.

This looks to be onedisturbingly erotic date.

Half date.Waiter!

Bring us a bottle of wine.Half bottle.

And some oysterson the half shell.Quarter shell.

And I'd like...

Kif's not hungry.

Kif, this placeis expensive.

I'd like two steaks,

and the ladies will havesome very sensual salads,

with low-calsensual dressing.

All hail Femputer.

ALL:All hail Femputer.

AMY:You all obey a big computer?

Yes.

It appear mysteriouslyjust about time men die out.

So why did you make ityour leader?

It seem like differentkind of politician.

Not beltway insider.

Femputer, we bring offeringof bath beads and scented soaps.

Your gift pleases Femputer.

Femputer demands to knowwhy there are men on her planet.

It was anaccident, ma'am.

That does not fempute.

Femputer will returnafter deciding your punishment.

Leela, I'm throughmaking fun of women.

Now I want themto help me.

Should we do something?

( gagging )

There's no hurry.

Yes, a little tighter.

Tighter.

Perhaps ahard spankingis in order.

Too hard!

Men strange.

You have themon your planet?

I'm afraid so.

What they for?

(whispering)

Oh.

You mean snu-snu.

Snu-snu.Snu-snu.Snu-snu.

We hear tell menused for snu-snu.

But all we have go onare ancient legend

and subscription to Cosmo.

Just FYI, Icould be usedfor snu-snu.

Silence!

You want to die likelast men visit Amazonia?

What'd they die of?

Crushed pelvises.

Yes.

Oh, thank you,Lord in Heaven.

After lengthy femputations,

I, Femputer, have decidedthe fate of the men.

Femputer sentences them...

to death!

( all gasping )

By snu-snu.

Yeah!Yeah!

( whimpering )

What are you, gay?

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