Short Change

  • Season 2, Ep 5
  • 10/24/2015

The Suck It, Gary! trio has a sleepover, two recently deceased jerks enjoy their ghostly existence, and a woman with a gluten sensitivity is accused of witchcraft.

No, no, thank you.

But you must eat the host.'Tis the body of Christ.

No, I can't.

Come on, lady.

Keep it moving here.

I don't thinkyou quite understand.

This tiny bread wafer isthe body of our Lord and Savior,

Jesus Christ.

You've gotto have a little nibble.

Yeah, see,I have a gluten sensitivity.

- What?- Well, I'm allergic to this.

Then you're allergicto Jesus.

No, it's just certain grains.

Witch!She's allergic to Jesus.

She's a witch.

[all gasping]

No, no,I'm not a witch.

I just get all bloatedand tired.

You're allergic to Jesus,lady.

I'm no witch expert,

but I'm pretty surea Jesus allergy

puts you in that category.

- String her up.- No, no, no.

[all yelling]

- Take that witch down a peg.- Witch!

Oh, no, if there was some sortof gluten-free Jesus body,

I'm sure that I could eat it.

Too late, witch.

Chuck her overboard.

If she sinks,she dies a good, honest death.

If she floats, she's a witch,

and we'll burn her real niceonce she gets to shore.

(woman)No, no.Ahh!

Throw her in the water!

[all yelling]

You're not goingto escape this time, witch.

Not again.

I can totally drink the wineor blood of Christ or whatever.

It's just the complex carbs.

- They really slow me down.- Blah, blah, blah.

Sounds like witch talk to me.

If I had a dollar for every time

I heard a witch drone onabout complex carbs,

I'd be a rich man.

Light her up, boys.

No, I could eat soy.

Is there, like,a soy Christ or something?

If she burns,she dies a good, honest death.

If she doesn't, well,

we'll chopthis witch's head clean off.

Burn the witch.

(man)Come on, boys,let's burn that witch.

[all yelling]

Well, frankly, I'm shocked.

It almost nevergets to phase three.

Let it fall, boys.

[wood crashes]

Seriously?

All right, [bleep] this.

[all screaming]

I told you she was a witch!

[yelps]

[crashing]

Somebody get mesome [bleep] rice bread!

I want a sandwich.

No, no, thank you.

But you must eat the host.'Tis the body of Christ.

No, I can't.

Come on, lady.

Keep it moving here.

I don't thinkyou quite understand.

This tiny bread wafer isthe body of our Lord and Savior,

Jesus Christ.

You've gotto have a little nibble.

Yeah, see,I have a gluten sensitivity.

- What?- Well, I'm allergic to this.

Then you're allergicto Jesus.

No, it's just certain grains.

Witch!She's allergic to Jesus.

She's a witch.

[all gasping]

No, no,I'm not a witch.

I just get all bloatedand tired.

You're allergic to Jesus,lady.

I'm no witch expert,

but I'm pretty surea Jesus allergy

puts you in that category.

- String her up.- No, no, no.

[all yelling]

- Take that witch down a peg.- Witch!

Oh, no, if there was some sortof gluten-free Jesus body,

I'm sure that I could eat it.

Too late, witch.

Chuck her overboard.

If she sinks,she dies a good, honest death.

If she floats, she's a witch,

and we'll burn her real niceonce she gets to shore.

(woman)No, no.Ahh!

Throw her in the water!

[all yelling]

You're not goingto escape this time, witch.

Not again.

I can totally drink the wineor blood of Christ or whatever.

It's just the complex carbs.

- They really slow me down.- Blah, blah, blah.

Sounds like witch talk to me.

If I had a dollar for every time

I heard a witch drone onabout complex carbs,

I'd be a rich man.

Light her up, boys.

No, I could eat soy.

Is there, like,a soy Christ or something?

If she burns,she dies a good, honest death.

If she doesn't, well,

we'll chopthis witch's head clean off.

Burn the witch.

(man)Come on, boys,let's burn that witch.

[all yelling]

Well, frankly, I'm shocked.

It almost nevergets to phase three.

Let it fall, boys.

[wood crashes]

Seriously?

All right, [bleep] this.

[all screaming]

I told you she was a witch!

[yelps]

[crashing]

Somebody get mesome [bleep] rice bread!

I want a sandwich.