February 11, 2014 - Charlie Crist

  • 02/11/2014

Stephen launches a fundraiser for the U.S. speedskating team, Buddy Cole helps athletes appear straight, Michael Sam comes out, and Charlie Crist discusses "The Party's Over."

>> Stephen: TONIGHT ICATCH UP WITH THE U.S.

SPEED SKATING TEAM, WELL, ITRY TO CATCH UP, THEY'RE SO

DAMN FAST.

(LAUGHTER)THEN COULD THE NFL HAVED

FIRST OPENLY GAY PLAYER ANDIF SO WILL ROOTING AGAINST

HIS TEAM BE A HATE CRIME?

AND MY GUEST CHARLIE CRISTIS THE FORMER GOVERNOR OF

FLORIDA.

FUN FACT, SOMEONE ONCE TRIEDTO GOVERN FLORIDA.

(LAUGHTER)ACCORDING TO THE DEPARTMENT

OF AGRICULTURE, ONE IN SIX MENEAT PIZZA EVERY DAY.

THE OTHER FIVE EATYESTERDAY'S PIZZA.

(LAUGHTER)THIS IS "THE COLBERT

REPORT."

>> Stephen: WHOOO!

WELCOME TO THE REPORT, THANKYOU FOR JOINING US, LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN.

>> STEPHEN, STEPHEN,STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

STEPHEN, STEPHEN, STEPHEN!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELCOME TO THE

REPORT, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FORJOINING US.

OH, THANK YOU LADIES ANDGENTLEMEN, PLEASE, SIT DOWN.

FOLKS, IT IS YET ANOTHERELECTRIC NIGHT HERE AT THE

REPORT.

WHY?

WHY?

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)WHY, WELL, FIRST OF ALL

BECAUSE IT'S TUESDAY.

(LAUGHTER)ASK ANYBODY, THEY'LL TELL

YOU.

BUT MOSTLY-- (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE IT'S DAYFIVE OF THE SOCHI WINTER

GAMES.

NOW I'M A BUSY MAN SO I'MNOT COMPLETELY CAUGHT UP ON

THE OLYMPIC ACTION.

I'VE BEEN TiVOING THEM ANDLAST NIGHT I WAS THRILLED TO

SEE THE TEAM USA GABBYDOUGLAS CLINCHED THE

ALL-AROUND GYMNASTIC GOLD.

TRULY HISTORIC.

WAY TO GO, GABBY.

AMERICA LOVES YOU.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)BUT I WAS EXCITED TO READ

THAT TEAM USA HAS ALREADYWON SOME HUGE GOLDS IN SOCHI

LIKE MEN'S AND WOMEN'S SLOPESTYLE.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THATIS.

I ASSUME IT'S FOR SHINIESTPARKA.

FOLKS, I GOT TO SAY, THESESOCHI GAMES, THESE OLYMPIC

ATHLETES HAVE ACCOMPLISHEDTHE IMPOSSIBLE.

MAKING ME CARE ABOUTCROSS-COUNTRY SKIING.

(LAUGHTER)AND OF COURSE THE GAMES HOLD

A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEARTBECAUSE FOUR YEARS AGO I

SAVED THE OLYMPICS.

THE UNITED STATES SKITEAM--

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> WOULD NEVER, WOULD NEVER

HAVE MADE IT TO THE GAMES IFIT WEREN'T FOR MY HARD WORK

AND YOUR HARD CASH.

(LAUGHTER)I WENT WITH THE TEAM TO

VANCOUVER AND BETWEEN US WEWON FOUR OLYMPIC MEDALS FOR

SKATING AND ONE OVERSIZEDSCOOBY DOO FOR WHACK-A-MOLE.

I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO WHOWON WHAT, IT WAS A TEAM

EFFORT.

AND I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP ONMY TEAM.

THIS YEAR YOU CAN HELP THEMOUT BY GOING TO

COLBERTNATION.COM ANDDONATING AND GETTING YOUR

OWN SPECIAL COLBERTNATIONU.S. SPEED SKATING T-SHIRT.

YOUR GREEN, FOLKS, YOURGREEN CAN HELP THE RED,

WHITE AND BLUE BRING HOMETHE GOLD.

ORANGE YOU GLAD?

NOW FOLKS, I COULD NOT MAKEIT OVER TO SOCHI BECAUSE MY

DOCTOR SAID I DON'T WANT TO.

SO I AM SENDING SOMEONE ELSETO BE MY EYES AND MY EARS

AND TO A LESSER EXTENT, MYNOSE.

PLEASE WELCOME MY OLD FRIENDAND LONG TIME PRODUCER BUDDY

COLE.

BUDDY, THANKS SO MUCH MOREBEING HERE.

GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

(APPLAUSE)SO GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

>> BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY!

BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY!

>> Stephen: BUDDY FEVER.

>> IT.

>> Stephen: THANKS FOR BEINGHERE, MAN.

>> THANK YOU, STEPHEN, THEPLEASURE IS ALL MINE.

>> Stephen: NOW BUDDY, YOUFOE GAY RIGHTS ACTIVISTS ARE

UP IN ARMS OVER RUSSIA'SANTI-HOMOSEXUAL PROPAGANDA

LAWS.

BUT THESE LAWS ARE SO VAGUE.

THAT POLICE CAN ARRESTANYONE THEY SUSPECT AS BEING

GAY.

NOW OF COURSE I DONE WORRYABOUT SENDING YOU.

YOU ARE A REAL MAN'S MAN.

>> GUILTY AS CHARGED.

>> Stephen: POUND IT, YOUDOG.

(LAUGHTER)ALL RIGHT.

NOW FOLKS, BUT I AM WORRIEDABOUT MY FRIENDS ON THE

SPEED SKATING TEAM, BUDDY.

HOW DO WE KEEP THEM SAFE?

>> WELL, STEVEN, LAST NIGHTI LEARNED.

ALL ABOUT THIS ANTI-GAY LAWSWHEN I SAT DOWN WITH AN

AMBASSADOR OF SOMETHING.

I DON'T KNOW, HE SEEMEDNICE.

AND TONIGHT I WANT TO SHARETHAT ADVICE WITH THE U.S.

SPEED SKATING TEAM.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, LET'STALK I LOOK, BUDDY?

>> STEPHEN.

>> Stephen: JIM.

>> "THE COLBERT REPORT"PRESENTS A SPORT REPORT

EXCLUSIVE, FROM RUSSIA WITHLOVE.

>> BUT NO GAY STUFF.

>> DOUBLE O 14.

>> WITH ME, BUDDY COLE.

>> I TRAVELED TO BEAUTIFULSALT LAKE CITY TO MEET WITH

THE U.S. SPEED SKATING TEAMBEFORE REALIZING IT WAS 12

MILES AWAY AT THE OLYMPIC INKEARNS, UTAH.

>> LET'S GET TO KNOW EACHOTHER.

MY NAME IS BUDDY COLE ANDI'VE BEEN SENT HERE BY

STEPHEN COLBERT TO HELP YOUFELLAS AVOID APPEARING GAY

AND GETTING ARRESTED INRUSSIA.

ARE ANY OF YOU GENTLEMENAWARE OF THESE ANTI-GAY LAWS

THAT RUSSIA HAS PASSED.

>> YEAH, WE'RE AWARE OF WHATHAS BEEN GOING ON IN RUSSIA.

BUT HONESTLY, YOU KNOW,WE'VE BEEN TRAINING SO MUCH

AND CONCENTRATING ON OURTRAINING,.

>> NO TIME FOR GAY SEX.

>> IS THERE ANYONE ON YOURTEAM THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE

ANTI-GAY LAW CURIOUS.

>> I DON'T THINK SO.

>> SO YOU DON'T KNOW ANYSPEED SKATERS THAT ARE GAY?

DO YOU KNOW ANY FIGURESKATERS THAT ARE STRAIGHT?

>> NO, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.

RIDICULOUS, OF COURSE NOT.

>> WHY ARE THERE NO WOMEN ONTHE MEN'S SPEED SKATING TEAM,

THAT SEEMS VERY GAY.

>> WELL, THEY HAVE A WOMEN'STEAM TOO.

>> OH.

IS SPEED SKATING A CHOICE ORWERE YOU BORN A SPEED SKATER?

>> YOU'RE BORN A SPEEDSKATER.

>> SO YOU WERE BORN A SPEEDSKATER.

>> YES.

>> WAS'S YOUR NAME.

>> KYLE CARR I'M SHORTTRACK.

I DO SHORT TRACK.

>> YOU ARE A SHORT TRACKER.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, KYLE,IT'S A LITTLE COLD IN HERE.

>> TELL ME A LITTLE BITABOUT YOURSELF, WHERE ARE

YOU FROM.

>> I'M FROM TEXAS.

>> TEXAS, VERY HETEROSEXUALBUT I READ IN YOUR CV THAT

YOU SPENT SOME TIME INFRANCE.

>> YES, I DID, YES.

>> OOH.

I WOULD DEEMPHASIZE THEFRANCE, MORE TEXAS, LESS

FRANCE.

>> WHAT'S YOUR STORY, WHATARE YOU ALL ABOUT.

>> FROM WASHINGTON.

>> WHAT IS WITH THIS BIEBERHAIRCUT.

IT'S A LITTLE LESBIAN.

THIS IS FUNNY, THIS ISSERIOUS, BOYS.

>> NOW I WAS READING IN YOURBIO THAT YOU HAD A PRETTY

NASTY INJURY, TELL ME ALLABOUT THAT.

>> CUT MY LEG FOUR YEARSAGO.

I PUT THE FRONT OF MY RIGHTBLADE INTO MY LEG.

>> SO YOU HAVE LIKE A BIGMANLY SCAR ON YOUR INNER

THIGH.

>> I DO, I SHOW IT OFF ALLTHE TIME.

>> CHICKS DIG SCARS, RIGHT.

YOU BOYS KNOW THAT.

OH, I AM COVERED WITH SCARS.

I'VE GOT HUNDREDS OF THEM.

SOME OF THEM PHYSICAL.

>> ALVAREZ, SHORT TRACK SPEEDSKATER FROM

FLORIDA.

>> YOU DON'T SEE A LOT OFGONZALEZES ON THE ICE, DO

YOU,.

>> ALVAREZ.

>> OR ALVAREZES.

OH, IT SAYS HERE JORDAN.

>> YES.

>> YOU ARE AN INVENTOR.

>> I DID CREATE SOME THINGS.

>> WHAT DID YOU INVENT.

>> I MADE THE TIPS THAT WEUSE ON OUR GLOVES SO YOUR

FINGERS DON'T RUB ON YOUREYES.

>> SO YOUR DELICATE FINGERSDON'T GET ALL SCRATCHED BY

THE ICE.

SO IT SOUNDS TO ME THAT WHATYOU INVENTED WAS FINGERTIP

CONDOMS.

>> SLIGHTLY TOUGHER THANTHAT.

>> SO WHAT METALS ARE YOUGUYS HOPING TO WIN.

>> GOLD.

>> AND WHAT DO YOU HAVE TODO TO WIN GOLD?

>> WIN.

>> WIN!

EXACTLY.

THAT'S THE RIGHT ANSWER.

YOU KNOW THOUGH, HERE'S THETHING, ANYONE CAN WIN GOLD,

RIGHT, ANYONE.

ALL YOU HAVE TO TO DO IS BETHE BEST IN THE WORLD.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, REALWINNING IS IN THE FACE.

YOU ALL WANT TO BE GOLDMEDAL WINNERS BUT ARE YOU

READY TO BE STARS?

IT'S ALL IN THE FACE LIKEHERE'S ME, LISTEN, I'M

CROSSING THE FINISH LINE.

I'VE GOT SOME RIDICULOUSSOUTH KOREAN BEHIND ME

BECAUSE I HATE THOSE SOUTHKOREANS.

HE'S JUST BEHIND ME AND THEN ICRASH THROUGH THE TAPE.

(APPLAUSE)CAN I SEE YOUR WINNING GOLD

MEDAL FACES.

COME ON, NOW!

EXACTLY!

THIS HAS BEEN GREAT.

BUT LET'S HEAD OUT ON TO THEICE TO MAKE SURE THAT I KEEP

YOU AS SAFE AS POSSIBLE ATTHE SOCHI OLYMPICS.

>> MOVE IT.

TO TRULY UNDERSTANDTHE TEAM I KNEW I HAD TO

WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOESOR AT LEAST SKATE A

KILOMETER IN THEIR SPANDEX.

KILOMETER IN THEIR SPANDEX.

>> I'LL BE IN, WITH YOU IN ASECOND.

KEEP SKATING.

KEEP SKATING.

OKAY.

>> OH!

I'M FINE!

I'M GOOD.

OH MY GOODNESS.

WOULD YOU GRAB MY TAIL.

>> THEY CLEARLY KNEW HOW TOICE CONGA AND THAT WAS

PERFECTLY BUTCH.

AS WAS THE RELAY HANDOFF.

BUT THERE WAS NO HIDING THEFACT THAT THEIR TIGHTS

SCREAMED GAY PROPAGANDA.

I HAD TO FIND A WAY TO MAKETHEM LESS ATTRACTIVE.

FANNIE PACKS.

DAMMIT, NOT EVEN DOCKERSCOULD DAMPEN THOSE FIERY

THIGHS.

FINALLY I HAD TO RESORT TOGAY KRYPTONITE, CROCS.

>> THAT'S BETTER.

>> OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC.

YOU LOOK HIDEOUS.

HETEROSEXUALITY ACHIEVED.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: GREAT REPORT,

BUDDY.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: YOU DID IT AGAIN.

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE OUTIN THE FIELD DO WHAT THIS

GUY DOES.

YOU'RE AMAZING.

>> THANKS.

>> Stephen: GREAT REPORT,BUDDY.

>> WELL, I CERTAINLY ENJOYEDIT.

>> NOW REMEMBER FOLKS IF YOUWANT TO SUPPORT THE U.S.

SPEED SKATING TEAM TO GOINGTO COLBERTNATION.COM TO

GET YOUR OFFICIAL COLBERTNATIONSPEED SKATING SHIRT ALL

PROCEEDS GO DIRECTLY TO THETEAM.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR BUDDY,BUDDY, BUDDY!

BUDDY, BUDDY, BUDDY!

>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK,EVERYBODY, THANKS SO MUCH.

FOLKS, WE NOW TURN TO OURCONTINUING SPORT REPORT COVERAGE

ALREADY IN PROGRESS.

AS YOU KNOW, I HAVE BEEN ALIFELONG FOOTBALL FAN FOR

ALMOST TWO WEEKS NOW.

AND LIKE ALL HARD-CORE FOOTNUTS I WAS LOOKING FORWARD

TO MAY'S NFL DRAFT UNTIL ISAW THIS.

>> AN ALL AMERICAN FOOTBALLSTAR REVEALED HE IS GAY.

>> MISSOURI MICHAEL SAM CAMEOUT OF THE CLOSET.

>> MICHAEL SAM TO BE DRAFTEDTO THE NFL WOULD MAKE HIM

THE FIRST OPENLY GAY PLAYERIN THAT LEAGUE.

>> I CAME TO TELL THE WORLDI'M AN OPENLY PROUD GAY MAN.

>> OK THAT TOOK COURAGE BUTWE CAN'T HAVE A GAY FOOTBALL

PLAYER! IT IS FIRST ANDTEN, NOT FIRST IN STEVE.

AND THE MOST OFFENSIVE PART,MICHAEL SAM DOESN'T

UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE MIGHTBE OFFENDED.

>> THIS IS TO ME JUSTTELLING ANOTHER

PERSON, HEY, I'M GAY AND ITSHOULDN'T A BIG PROBLEM.

>> Stephen: I'M SORRY, SIR,BUT NOBODY CHOOSES TO HAVE A

PROBLEM WITH THIS.

I WAS BORN HAVING A PROBLEMWITH THIS.

LOOK.

LOOK, COME ON, NOBODY ISSAYING THIS GUY IS NOT A

GREAT FOOTBALL PLAYER.

ALL-AMERICAN, THE SEC'SDEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR

THAT IS QUITE ANHONOR COMING FROM THE

SECURITIES AND EXCHANGECOMMISSION.

BUT NOW-- PRO TEAMS ARE JUSTGOING TO HAVE TO THINK TWICE

BEFORE DRAFTING HIM.

>> "SPORTS ILLUSTRATED"SPOKE WITH NEARLY A DOZEN

COACHES AND NFL EXECUTIVES,MANY OF WHOM SAID FOOTBALL

ISN'T READY FOR AN OPENLYGAY PLAYER.

>> YESTERDAY MICHAEL SAM WASPROJECTED AS THE THIRD OR

FOURTH ROUND PICK, BUTDEFINITELY ON THE BOARD.

AND TODAY EXECUTIVES WILLSAY ANONYMOUSLY THAT HIS

STOCK HAS DROPPED.

HE MAY NOT EVEN BE DRAFTED.

>> I THINK A NUMBER OF TEAMSWILL PROBABLY NOT WANT TO

DEAL WITH HIM AT ALL BECAUSETHEY DON'T WANT THE

SO-CALLED DISTRACTION THATGOES ALONG WITH IT.

>> THE THING YOU TALK ABOUTIN THE ORGANIZATION WITH THE

GM AND OBVIOUSLY THE OWNER,IS CAN WE HANDLE THIS GUY.

CAN THE PLAYERS HANDLE THEMEDIA ATTENTION THAT THEY'RE

GOING TO GET.

WHEN THEY GET THE QUESTIONASKED ARE YOU OKAY WITH A

GAY TEAMMATE.

>> Stephen: EXACTLY.

I MEAN JUST THINK OF THATQUESTION.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH A GAYTEAMMATE.

WHO WANTS TO PUT THEIRPLAYERS THROUGH THE AGONY OF

SAYING -->> YEAH.

(LAUGHTER)>> Stephen: I MEAN I

JUST-- CAN'T-- I CANNOTBELIEVE WE HAVE COME TO THIS

AS A NATION, TO SULLY GAMEOF BEN ROETHLISBERGER AND

MICHAEL VICK WITH A GAY GUY.

SO FOLKS, ALL OF THATJUSTIFIES NOT DRAFTING THE

TOP DEFENSIVE PLAYER IN THESEC.

>> AND MICHAEL SAM'S ONLYCHANCE IS TO GO BACK IN THE

CLOSET, MIKE, WE'LL PRETENDYOU'RE NOT GAY AS LONG AS

YOU PRETEND WE'RE NOTBIGOTS.

(LAUGHTER)

WE'LL ALSO BE RIGHT BACK.

>> WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY,MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A FORMER

GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA WHO SWITCHEDFROM BEING REPUBLICAN TO

DEMOCRAT.

PLEASE WELCOME CHARLIE CRIST.

PAY, THANKS SO MUCH, THANKSSO MUCH FOR COMING ON.

IT'S GREAT TO HAVE YOU ONHERE.

GOVERNOR, WE WILL GET TOWHAT I WOULD CONSIDER YOUR

CHECKERED POLITICAL CAREERIN JUST A MOMENT.

BUT FIRST LET'S GET THISRIGHT OUT OF THE WAY HERE.

YOU'VE GOT A NEW BOOK CALLEDTHE PARTY IS OVER.

HOW THE EXTREME RIGHTHIJACKED THE GOP AND I

BECAME A DEMOCRAT.

THERE IT IS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)YOU BURIED THE LEAD RIGHT

THERE AT THE END OF THETITLE.

YOU WERE A REPUBLICAN, YOUBECAME A DEMOCRAT.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: HOW, AT LONGLAST SIR, HAVE YOU NO SHAME?

>> I AM JUST HAPPY TO BE ADEMOCRAT.

I REALLY FEEL AT HOME.

I ALWAYS KIND OF FELT LIKE AROUND PEG IN A SQUARE HOLE

IN THE REPUBLICAN PARTY.

AND IT ONLY INCREASED-- .

>> Stephen: YOU WERE ROUND,THEY WERE SQUARE, THAT MAKES

SENSE.

>> RIGHT T DOES, IT DOES,YES, SIR.

BUT YOU KNOW, AS THE PARTYCONTINUED TO DRIFT FURTHER

AND FURTHER TO THE RIGHT,WITH THE RISE OF THE TEA

PARTY.

AND AS A RESULT OF THAT, IJUST GOT MORE UNCOMFORTABLE

WITH IT.

>> Stephen: WHAT WAS ITABOUT THE MODERN REPUBLICAN

PARTY THAT DIDN'T APPEAL TOYOU ANY MORE.

>> JEB BUSH SAID IT VERYWELL HIMSELF.

THE MODERN REPUBLICAN PARTYLEADERSHIP APPEARS TO BE

ANTI-WOMEN, ANTI-MINORITY,ANTI-IMMIGRANT, ANTI-GAY

COUPLES,ANTI-ENVIRONMENT,

ANTI-EDUCATION.

I MEAN PRETTY SOON THERE ISNOBODY LEFT IN ROOM AND IT

JUST WASN'T A PLACE I WASCOMFORTABLE BEING ANY MORE.

>> Stephen: ISN'T THAT THEWRONG WAY TO LOOK AT IT.

IT IS PRO FREEDOM.

ALL THE THINGS YOU JUSTNAMED INVOLVE SOME KIND OF

REGULATION OR GIVING AWAYOUR FREEDOMS TO PEOPLE

DID NOT EARN IT.

>> THAT'S A POINT OF VIEW.

>> Stephen: YEAH.

IT'S THE CORRECT POINT OFVIEW, OKAY.

>> RIGHT, RIGHT.

>> Stephen: WELL, I DISAGREERESPECTFULLY.

>> Stephen: YOU DO.

OH, THAT'S ONE OF YOU.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

YOU ARE RUNNING FOR GOVERNOROF FLORIDA AGAIN.

>> YES, SIR.

>> Stephen: NOW AS ADEMOCRAT.

>> RIGHT.

>> Stephen: AGAINST RICKSCOTT.

>> INDEED.

>> Stephen: DO YOU EVEN HAVETO CAMPAIGN.

CAN'T YOU JUST SAY I AMCHARLIE CRIST.

I USED TO BE GOVERNOR, HOWABOUT MORE OF THAT.

>> YEAH, WELL, HONESTLY, IWISH IT WERE THAT EASY BUT

THE MAN HAS SAID HE IS GOINGTO SPEND $100 MILLION ON

THIS CAMPAIGN.

HE SPENT $75 MILLION OF HISOWN FOUR YEARS AGO.

>> Stephen: HOW MANY-- AREYOU GOING TO SPEND 75

MILLION OF YOUR MONEY THISTIME.

>> I DON'T HAVE THAT MUCHMONEY.

(LAUGHTER)SO NO, NO, NO.

>> Stephen: WHERE ARE YOUGOING TO GET IT BECAUSE IT'S

HARD TO GET THAT KIND OFCASH.

>> IF PEOPLE WANT TOCONTRIBUTE CHARLIE

CRIST.COM WOULD BE A GOODPLACE TO GO.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

>> WE NEED IT.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF RICKSCOTT.

>> NO SIR, I'M NOT, I'M NOT.

>> Stephen: YOU'RE NOTAFRAID THAT HE WILL UNHINGE

HIS JAW AND TRY TO SWALLOWYOU.

I MEAN YOU'RE RUNNINGAGAINST A NATIVE FLORIDA

SWAMP CREATURE.

>> HE'S FROM TEXAS.

HE JUST MOVED TO FLORIDA INTIME TO QUALIFY TO RUN.

YOU HAVE TO BE THERE SEVENYEARS BEFORE YOU CAN RUN FOR

GOVERNOR, HE GOT THERE JUSTIN TIME TO BE ABLE TO RUN

FOUR YEARS AGO.

>> Stephen: WHY DO YOU WANTTO BE GOVERNOR OF FLORIDA

AGAIN, IT IS A TOUGH STATETO GOVERN.

IT IS A TOUGH STATE TO LIVEIN.

YOU KNOW.

I MEAN IT'S WARM ANDEVERYTHING.

BUT WITHIN IT'S A BEAUTIFULPLACE.

>> Stephen: IT IS A CRAZYSTATE.

>> IT'S INTERESTING.

IT'S NEVER DULL.

BUT IT A BEAUTIFUL PLACE.

>> Stephen: YOU SAID AT THEEND OF YOUR REPUBLICAN

POLITICAL CAREER CAME ABOUTWHEN YOU WERE HUGGED BY

BARACK OBAMA.

>> Stephen: YES.

>> IT FIGURES PROMINENTLY INTHE BOOK IF I MAY READ THAT.

>> YOU INTRODUCED HIM, WHATYEAR.

>> 2009.

>> Stephen: 2009 HE HAD JUSTBECOME PRESIDENT OF THE

UNITED STATES.

YOU INTRODUCED HIM INFLORIDA AND YOU SAID LADIES

AND GENTLEMEN PLEASE GIVEA WARM FLORIDA WELCOME TO

PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMAHE WALKED OUT TOWARDS ME.

BOTH OF US SMILED.

THE APPLAUSE WAS JUST ABOUTFRANTIC.

WE SHOOK HANDS.

THE NEW PRESIDENT LEANEDFORWARD AND GAVE ME A HUG.

REACH, PULL, RELEASE.

AS HUGS GO, IT WASN'TANYTHING SPECIAL IT WAS OVER

IN A SECOND, LESS THAN THAT.

IT IS THE KIND OF HUG THATSAYS HEY, GOOD TO SEE YOU

MAN, THANKS FOR BEING HERE.

THE KIND OF HUG I HADEXCHANGED WITH

THOUSANDS OF FLORIDIANS OVERTHE YEARS.

I DIDN'T THINK A THING ABOUTIT AS IT WAS HAPPENING BUT

THAT SIMPLE GESTURE ENDED MYCAREER. IT

REST OF MY LIFE. REACH, PULL,RELEASE.

( APPLAUSE )>> THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

UNBELIEVABLE.

>> Stephen: REACH, PULL,RELEASE.

>> YEAH.

>> Stephen: ARE THOSE THETHREE WORDS YOU WANT TO USE

WHEN YOU ARE TALKING ABOUTTHE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED

STATES.

>> MAYBE NOT.

MAYBE NOT, NO, BUT-- .

>> Stephen: WHY DO YOU THINKIT ENDED IT FOR YOU?

>> SEVERAL REASONS, I THINK.

NUMBER ONE, IF HE WAS THERETO TALK ABOUT THE RECOVERY

ACT.

THE STIMULUS AS PEOPLE CALLIT.

AND A LOT OF REPUBLICANSTOOK ISSUE WITH THAT.

SO I THINK THAT WAS PART OFIT.

SADLY I THINK ANOTHER PARTOF IT WAS THAT HE WAS A

DEMOCRAT.

BUT NOT JUST A DEMOCRAT, ANAFRICAN-AMERICAN.

AND.

>> Stephen: ARE YOU TO THEGOING TO PLAY THE RACE CARD.

>> I'M TO THE GOING TO PLAYIT.

>> Stephen: YOU JUST DID.

YOU PICKED IT IT UP AGAINAND PUT IN YOUR POCKET, YOU

PLAYED THE RACE CARD.

>> YEAH, WELL I'M JUSTTRYING TO TELL THE TRUTH.

I HAVE SEEN A LEVEL OFVITRIOL DIRECTED AT THIS

PRESIDENT THAT I HAVE NEVERSEEN DIRECTED AT, YOU KNOW,

PRESIDENT KENNEDY OR MAYBEPRESIDENT JOHNSON OR EVEN

PRESIDENT CARTER.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

IF IN THE COURSE OF THECAMPAIGN YOU WERE APPROACHED

BY THREE MEN WHO WERE ABOUTTO HUG YOU, JOSEPH STALIN,

DARTH VADER OR BARACK OBAMA,YOU HAVE TO HUG ONE OF THEM,

WHICH WOULD IT BE.

>> MY PRESIDENT, NOQUESTION.

I LOVE HIM.

>> Stephen: BARACK OBAMA.

(APPLAUSE)>> Stephen: WELL, GOVERNOR,

GOOD LUCK.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: PLEASE COME BACKONCE YOU'RE THE GOVERNOR

AGAIN.

YOU JUST GOT THE COLBERTBUMP.

>> ALL RIGHT.

>> Stephen: GOVERNORCHARLIE.

>> GOVERNOR CHARLIE CRIST,THE PARTY'S OVER. WE'LL BE RIGHT

BACK

>> Stephen: THAT'S IT FORTHE REPORT, EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT.