September 28, 2015 - Penis Shootings & Jeb Bush on Race

  • 09/28/2015

American gun owners shoot their penises off at an alarming rate, and Larry examines Jeb Bush's comments about black voters with DeRay Mckesson, Mike Yard and Rory Albanese.

(CHANTING LARRY)THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

PLEASE BE SEATED!

WELCOME TO "THE NIGHTLY SHOW."

SUCH GREAT CROWD!

IT IS UNBELIEVABLE HOW MANYPEOPLE SHOWED UP FOR KEISHA'S

BIRTHDAY TODAY!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!

SHE GOT THE WHOLE MERCHANTMARINE ACADEMY TO COME OUT FOR

HER BIRTHDAY, UNBELIEVABLE.

LOVE SOME KEISHA!

WE HAVE LOTS TO COVER TONIGHT SOLET'S GET TO IT.

IT'S TIME FOR OUR ONGOINGELECTION COVERAGE TO FIND OUT

WHO WILL DE-NEGRO-FY THE WHITEHOUSE.

(LAUGHTER)OR AS WE CALL IT, "THE

UNBLACKENING 2016".

(CHEERING)♪♪

FIRST UP, A SCARY MOMENT AT ACARLY FIORINA EVENT IN TEXAS

YESTERDAY.

>> CARLY FIORINA -- WHOA!

EVERYBODY'S OKAY.

EVERYBODY'S OKAY.

>> Larry: THE CURTAINLITERALLY FELL ON HER CAMPAIGN.

I MEAN, COME ON, METAPHOR GODS.

THAT WAS A LITTLE ON THE NOSE.

AND OF COURSE, IT REALLY DIDN'THELP THAT FIORINA'S ENTRANCE

MUSIC WAS THIS.

("YAKETY SAX" SOUND ALIKE)NOT A GOOD IDEA.

SHE DIDN'T THINK THAT ONETHROUGH.

I JUST WANT TO POINT OUT FOR ALLYOU

CARLY-FIORINA-HATING-ON-PLANNED-PARENTHOOD FANS OUT THERE --

THIS STAGE COLLAPSE WASCOMPLETELY UNPLANNED.

NOW, THERE WAS A CHANCE SHECOULD HAVE ABORTED THE EVENT,

BUT SHE WENT AHEAD WITH IT, ANDTHIS WAS HER CHOICE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)I JUST WANT TO BE CLEAR ABOUT

THAT.

ONCE AGAIN, THANK YOU, METAPHORGODS.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NOW, CARLY FIORINA ISN'T THEONLY CANDIDATE WHOSE CAMPAIGN

SEEMS TO BE COLLAPSING.

JEB EXCLAMATION POINT -- WHOPROBABLY NEEDS TO BECOME JEB

QUESTION MARK -- WAS ASKED "UNAPREGUNTA MUY DIFICIL ON HOW HE

IS GOING TO GET BLACK PEOPLE TOVOTE FOR HIM.

>> OUR MESSAGE IS ONE OF HOPEAND ASPIRATION.

>> Larry: HOPE AND ASPIRATION!

OKAY.

NOT AS CATCHY AS HOPE ANDCHANGE.

BUT ASPIRATION, IRONICALLY, IS AVERY POPULAR BLACK NAME.

LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THIS.

TRUE.

(LAUGHTER)YO, ASPIRATION!

YOU COMING?

I DON'T MAKE THIS UP.

ALL RIGHT, SO HE'S SORT OF ONPOINT.

BUT UNFORTUNATELY, HE CONTINUEDTO TALK.

>> OUR MESSAGE IS ONE OF HOPEAND ASPIRATION.

IT ISN'T ONE OF DIVISION AND"GET IN LINE AND WE'LL TAKE CARE

OF YOU WITH FREE STUFF."

>> Larry: WHAT?

(AUDIENCE REACTS)BLACK PEOPLE VOTE SO THEY CAN

GET FREE STUFF?

THE ONLY TIME BLACK PEOPLE WOULDHAVE VOTED FOR FREE STUFF WOULD

HAVE BEEN FOR ABRAHAM LINCOLN.

WHEN THE STUFF THEY WANTED TO BEFREE WAS THEMSELVES.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)THAT MAKES SENSE!

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

OKAY.

LOOK -- ALL RIGHT.

MAYBE HE MISSPOKE.

BUT HE GOT A CHANCE FOR ADO-OVER WITH CHRIS WALLACE ON

HIS SUNDAY SHOW -- OR AS WE SAYIN THE FAKE NEWS BUSINESS, A

"FOX MULLIGAN."

>> WE NEED TO MAKE OUR CASE TOAFRICAN-AMERICAN VOTERS AND TO

ALL VOTERS THAT AN ASPIRATIONALMESSAGE FIXING A FEW BIG COMPLEX

THINGS WILL ALLOW PEOPLE TO RISEUP.

THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE WANT.

THEY DON'T WANT FREE STUFF.

>> Larry: YOU JUST SAID ITAGAIN!

WHAT IS THIS WEIRDRACIST WORD ASSOCIATION THAT'S

GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD?

YOU HEAR "BLACK VOTERS" AND YOUJUST THINK "FREE STUFF"?

IT'S LIKE HE'S PLAYING HEADSUP -- HE HOLDS UP HIS PHONE,

SOMEBODY YELLS "BLACK VOTERS,"AND HE GUESSES "FREE STUFF!"

(LAUGHTER)ANYWAY, THIS GUY HAS A LOT OF

NERVE ACCUSING BLACK VOTERS OFDEMANDING FREE STUFF WHEN THIS

COUNTRY WAS BUILT ON THE BACKSOF FREE BLACK LABOR.

(APPLAUSE)ALL RIGHT?

IF MEMORY SERVES, WHITESOUTHERNERS HAD QUITE AN

APPETITE FOR FREE STUFF, TOO.

BUT FORGET SLAVERY, OR DON'T.

BUT LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION,JEB EXCLAMATION POINT.

I DON'T WANT TO SAY YOU'RE OUTOF TOUCH, BUT DO YOU THINK IT'S

POSSIBLE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE AHUGE COLOR BLINDSPOT?

TELL ME -- WHAT IS YOUR OPINIONON RACISM IN THIS COUNTRY?

>> I DON'T THINK PEOPLE AREINHERENTLY RACIST IN THIS

COUNTRY.

IN FACT, I THINK THAT WE HAVE APRETTY NOBLE TRADITION OF THE

OPPOSITE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)>> Larry: NOBLE TRADITION OF

THE OPPOSITE?

THAT'S LIKE GETTING A POSITIVEHERPES TEST BUT TELLING YOUR

GIRLFRIEND, "DON'T WORRY, BABY,I HAVE A NOBLE TRADITION OF THE

OPPOSITE."

(LAUGHTER)NO, YOU HAVE A NOBLE S.T.D., AND

YOU SHOULD REALLY GET SOMEVALTREX.

BUT THESE ARE ALL OFF THE CUFFREMARKS.

AND THOSE CAN BE TAKEN OUT OFCONTEXT.

SO WHAT ARE JEB BUSH'S THOUGHTSON RACE WHEN HE'S HAD A MINUTE

TO THINK ABOUT IT, TAKEN THETIME TO WRITE SOMETHING DOWN,

RE-READ IT, SENT IT TO APUBLISHER, DONE TWO ROUNDS OF

COPY-EDITING, THEN PUBLISHED ITIN, SAY, A 1996 BOOK CALLED

"PROFILES IN CHARACTER"?

"SINCE THE 1960s, THE POLITICSOF VICTIMIZATION HAS STEADILY

INTENSIFIED.

BEING A VICTIM GIVES RISE TOCERTAIN ENTITLEMENTS, BENEFITS,

AND PREFERENCES IN SOCIETY...

MANY OF THE MODERN VICTIMMOVEMENTS -- THE GAY RIGHTS

MOVEMENT, THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT,THE BLACK EMPOWERMENT

MOVEMENT -- HAVE ATTEMPTED TOGET PEOPLE TO VIEW THEMSELVES AS

PART OF A SMALLER GROUPDESERVING OF SOMETHING FROM

SOCIETY ."

THIS IS NOT A GAFFE.

THIS IS HOW JEB BUSH REALLYFEELS.

HE THINKS THE SYSTEMICOPPRESSION OF BLACK PEOPLE BY

WHITE AMERICA IS A "BLACK"STRATEGY.

THAT IN THE 1950s, BLACKPEOPLE HAD MEETINGS TO TRY TO BE

MORE VICTIM-Y --LIKE "WE ARE NOT GETTING NEARLY

SEGREGATED ENOUGH OUT THERE!"AND "HOW DO WE GET THE POLICE TO

BEAT US MORE?

WE NEED IDEAS, PEOPLE!

WHO SAID DOGS?

WHO SAID DOGS?

WATER HOSES!

VERY GOOD!

THIS IS HOW WE ENTER THE1960s, PEOPLE!"

LOOK, I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARDMY WHOLE LIFE.

MY PARENTS TOLD ME I HAD TO WORKTWICE AS HARD FOR HALF AS MUCH.

THAT'S BEEN MY MENTALITY, ANDTHAT IS THE MENTALITY FOR MANY

BLACK AMERICANS.

IT IS NOT THAT WE THINK OFOURSELVES AS VICTIMS WHO DESERVE

YOUR HANDOUTS.

IT'S THAT WE KNOW WE HAVE TOWORK OUR ASSES OFF TO OVERCOME A

SYSTEM THAT FOR DECADES HASINSTITUTIONALIZED WAYS TO KEEP

US OUT OF SOCIETY.

SO THE IDEA THAT BLACK PEOPLEARE STRATEGIZING TO GET ANYTHING

FOR FREE OUT OF THIS COUNTRY ISINSULTING.

EXCLAMATION POINT.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

MAN, SO TODAY THERE WAS A BIGANNOUNCEMENT ABOUT MARS.

THERE IS WATER ON MARS.

YES!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: I'M SO EXCITED!

NOW, YOU GUYS KNOW HOW MUCH OF ASPACE FAN I AM.

I WOULD LOVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

BUT HERE AT "THE NIGHTLY SHOW,"OUR ATTENTION HAS BEEN DRAWN TO

A MORE EARTHLY AND SEEMINGLYUNDER-REPORTED NEWS TREND -- MEN

HAVE BEEN SHOOTING THEMSELVES INTHE DICK.

(LAUGHTER)LET'S TAKE A LOOK WITH OUR NEW

SEGMENT.

"DICK BLOW-OFFBLOWOUT"-- BROUGHT TO YOU BY

SCOTTS GRASS SEED.

"JUST BECAUSE YOU SHOT OFF YOURDICK DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T HAVE

A NICE LAWN.

SCOTTS ."

(LAUGHTER)OKAY.

THANK YOU, SCOTTS.

THE TREND STARTED WITH A GUY INSOUTH DAKOTA.

HE SHOT HIMSELF IN THE DICKWHILE TRYING TO PURCHASE A GUN

ILLEGALLY.

AND SINCE HE WAS INVOLVED INILLEGAL ACTIVITY, HE MADE UP A

STORY ABOUT GETTING ROBBED ANDBLAMED THE SHOOTING ON A BLACK

GUY.

BUT IT TURNED OUT THE ONE BLACKGUY IN SOUTH DAKOTA WAS VISITING

RELATIVES IN CHICAGO.

(LAUGHTER)SO, LIKE HIS DICK, THIS GUY'S

STORY HAD AN EXTRA HOLE.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)TRUE.

I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP.

THEN, LAST WEEK, ANOTHERINCIDENT IN WASHINGTON STATE.

A MAN, TRIPPING BALLS ON METH,THOUGHT HIS NEIGHBOR WAS UNDER

ATTACK FROM IMAGINARY MEXICANS.

SO WHEN HE TRIED TO KICK IN THEDOOR, THE GUN IN HIS WAISTBAND

WENT OFF AND THE BULLET LODGEDIN HIS NUT SACK.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)MMM...

NOW, TECHNICALLY, GETTING SHOTIN THE NUT SACK IS NOT THE SAME

AS GETTING SHOT IN THE DICK --I GET THAT.

BUT IT'S DICK-ADJACENT.

IT'S DEFINITELY SQUARELY IN THEAREA WHERE MEN DON'T WANT

WEAPONS GOING OFF.

IT COUNTS!

THESE ARE ALL TRUE STORIES,GUYS.

THEN, JUST THIS PAST WEEKEND,POLICE APPROACHED A BROOKLYN MAN

WHO WAS URINATING IN THE STREET.

WHEN THE MAN TRIED TO GET RID OFTHE GUN IN HIS WAISTBAND, HE

LOST SOMETHING ELSE.

HIS LIFELONG STREAK OF NOTFIRING HOT LEAD INTO HIS WEINER.

MAN, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

HERE TO HELP ME UNDERSTAND THISTREND, PLEASE WELCOME "THE

NIGHTLY SHOW" CONTRIBUTORS MIKEYARD AND RICKY VELEZ.

HEY GUYS!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: GUYS, WHAT'S WRONG?

MIKE: SHOT IN THE WHAT?

OH!

>> NO, LARRY!

I YEAH, HE GOT SHOT IN THE -->> I JUST THREW UP IN MY MOUTH!

>> Larry: OKAY...

THEN LET'S GO TO "THE NIGHTLYSHOW" CONTRIBUTOR HOLLY WALKER.

(APPLAUSE)HOLLY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS

TREND?

>> HOLLY: IT'S FANTASTIC!

(LAUGHTER)FINALLY, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE GUN

CONTROL!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WAIT.

GUN CONTROL?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> HOLLY: YOU'VE HEARD THEPHRASE "THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART

IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH"?

>> Larry: UH, YEAH?

HOLLY: SO MAYBE "THE WAY TOGUN CONTROL IS THROUGH THE

FLESHY STUMP WHERE A MAN'S DICKUSED TO BE."

>> Larry: WAIT, HOLLY...

YOU HONESTLY FEEL LIKE THESEHORRIBLE ACCIDENTS ARE GOING TO

HELP THE GUN CONTROL MOVEMENT?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

>> HOLLY: LARRY, CONGRESS CAN'TWRAP THEIR HEADS AROUND MASS

SHOOTINGS, NO MATTER HOW TRAGIC.

WHAT THEY CAN WRAP THEIR HEADSAROUND IS THAT THERE'S A

POSSIBILITY THAT THEY COULDSHOOT OFF THEIR OWN DICKS.

>> Larry: SO YOU'RE HOPINGCONGRESS WILL DO SOMETHING IF

ENOUGH MEN SHOOT OFF THEIR OWNDICKS?

>> HOLLY: YEP!

THAT'S MY CURRENT STRATEGY.

>> Larry: HOW IS THAT YOURSTRATEGY?

YOU'RE AT A SHOOTING RANGE!

>> HOLLY: LARRY, I CAN'T SHOOTOFF ACTUAL Ds.

I'M NOT AN ANIMAL.

BUT AFTER SHOOTING A FEW ROUNDSAT PAPER DICKS, I'VE CLEARED

THIS PLACE OUT.

>> Larry: BUT I'M NOT SURETHAT WILL MAKE MUCH OF AN

IMPACT.

THERE ARE A LOT OF MEN WITH GUNSOUT THERE.

>> HOLLY: WE'RE MOVING IN THERIGHT DIRECTION, LARRY.

AND THINK ABOUT IT -- EACH MANWHO SHOOTS OFF HIS DICK CAN'T

HAVE KIDS -- WHICH MEANS FEWERPEOPLE GROWING UP TO HAVE GUNS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: MAKES SENSE.

I CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT!

>> HOLLY: YEAH!

THAT'S PROGRESS!

NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME, IHAVE SOME PAPER WANGS TO SHRED.

>> Larry: ALL RIGHT.

HOLLY WALKER, EVERYBODY.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

>> Larry: WELCOME BACK.

I'M HERE WITH MY PANEL.

"THE NIGHTLY SHOW" CONTRIBUTORRORY ALBANESE, "THE NIGHTLY

SHOW" CONTRIBUTOR MIKE YARD, ANDHE'S A PROMINENT ACTIVIST WITH

THE BLACK LIVES MATTER MOVEMENT,DERAY McKESSON.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)AND FOR EVERYONE AT HOME -- JOIN

OUR CONVERSATION RIGHT NOW ONTWITTER @NIGHTLYSHOW UNDER THE

HASHTAG "TONIGHTLY.

OKAY.

LET'S GET STARTED.

AT A CAMPAIGN EVENT LAST WEEK,JEB BUSH WAS ASKED HOW HE

PLANNED TO APPEAL TO BLACKVOTERS.

THIS IS WHAT HE SAID.

>> OUR MEGS IS ONE OF HOPE ANDASPIRATION.

IT ISN'T ONE OF DIVISION AND GETIN LINE AND WE'LL TAKE CARE OF

YOU WITH FREE STUFF.

>> Larry: OKAY.

WHAT KIND OF FREE STUFF DOES JEBTHINK WE'RE GETTING?

THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW.

>> I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS I HAVE BEEN BLACK LISTEDFROM THE BLACK LIST BECAUSE I

AIN'T NEVER GOT (BLEEP).

I'M WAITING FOR SOME FREE STUFF.

>> I WANTED TO LET YOU GUYS KNOWYOU CAN KEEP THESE MUGS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT(LAUGHTER)

>> NO, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO COMEOFF, I JUST WANTED TO GET IT OUT

OF THE WAY.

>> I WAS GOING TO KEEP ITANYWAY!

(LAUGHTER)>> Larry: IT SEEMS TO ME THERE

IS A VIEW THAT BLACK PEOPLETHINK THE UNITED STATES IS BEST

BUY AND WE'RE JUST WAITING TOLOOT IT.

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, JEB'S COMMENTACTS LIKE HISTORY DOESN'T EXIST.

FREE MEANS YOU HAVEN'T GOTTENSTUFF YOU HAVEN'T PAID FOR AND

HE COMES FROM A LEGACY -- HEHASN'T EARNED THE STUFF THAT HE

HAS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: IT'S SOMETHING TO

HEAR THAT FROM A GUY WHOSEFATHER AND BROTHER WAS

PRESIDENT.

>> AND THE WORD "STUFF" ISDEMEANING -- IT'S ALMOST LIKE

MLK HAD A T-SHIRT CANNON.

IT'S, LIKE, YEAH, I'VE GOT ADREAM!

"STUFF" IS SO DEMEANING.

>> Larry: IT'S LIKE, CIVILRIGHTS WAS FOR SOMETHING FREE.

>> YEAH, BUT LIKE FORHEADPHONES.

>> Larry: MATERIALISTIC.

I NEVER WATCHED A BLACKPROTEST AND HEARD, NO FREE

STUFF, NO PEACE, (BLEEP)!

USUALLY ASKING FOR EXPENSIVE(BLEEP) LIKE JUSTICE.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> Larry: WHY DO YOU THINK

THAT'S SUCH A KNEE-JERK RESPONSETHAT BLACK VOTERS ARE LUMPED

INTO THAT ONE CATEGORY?

BLACK VOTERS TEND TOOVERWHELMINGLY VOTE ON ONE SIDE.

I MEAN, THE LAST ELECTION,YOU'VE GOT A BLACK PRESIDENT,

SORRY, THAT'S JUST NOT GOING TOHAPPEN WITH BLACK PEOPLE VOTING

FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

BUT WHY DO YOU THINK THERE'S AKNEE JERK RESPONSE TO VOTE ALL

BLACK VOTERS INTO ONE CLASS?

>> WE'VE SEEN FROM REPUBLICANSIS THEY HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT

RACE BEHIND IMMIGRATION. THERE'SLITERALLY NO LANGUAGE THERE

YET. THEY TALK AS IF HISTORYDIDN'T EXIST.

THEY START HISTORY WHERE THEYWANT TO AND THEY ERASE WHERE

PEOPLE PAID WITH THEIR LIVES.

NOTHING IS FREE.

ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DIED WHILETHEY HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED AND

ANYBODY ELSE WOULDN'T SAY ANY OFIT HAS BEEN FREE.

>> Larry: YOU'VE MET WITH SOMEOF THE CANDIDATES, RIGHT?

>> WE'VE MET WITH BERNIE.

WE'LL BE MEETING WITH HILLARY SOON AND HOPEFULLY WITH THE

STAFF FROM THE RNC AS WELL.>> HOW ARE BLACK PEOPLE NOT

ASPIRATIONAL? HAVE YOU EVERHEARD OF EMPIRE?

(LAUGHTER)LISTEN TO ANY RAP SONG, YOU WILL

SEE HOW ASPIRATIONAL THEY ARE.

ON THE RAP SONGS, WE HAVEEVERYTHING IN THE WORLD, MY

YACHT, MY MANSION!>> HOW DOES THAT HIT YOU, RORY?

>> WHY WOULD YOU ASK ME? I FEELLIKE WE'RE ALL ON THE

SAME PAGE.

>> Larry: YEAH, EXACTLY.

SO I THINK, HONESTLY, THEFUNNIEST THING IS

THE COMMENT THAT AMERICA DOESN'THAVE INHERENT RACISM.

I CAN TELL YOU IT'S SO MUCHEASIER BEING A WHITE GUY.

>> Larry: ARE YOU TELLINGSECRETS RIGHT NOW?

THIS IS, LIKE, THE MAGICIAN,LIKE, WHITE PEOPLE WILL BE,

LIKE, OOH, DON'T SAY IT!

>> NO, DEFINITELY YOU'RE RIGHT.

I FEEL LIKE JEB, THOSE GUYSSHOULD PROBABLY HANG OUT WITH

PEOPLE OUTSIDE THEIR CIRCLE.

I FEEL LIKE I GET PULLED OVERAND THE POLICE ARE JUST CHECKING

ON ME -- LIKE, YOU OKAY?

YEAH, FEEL GOOD!

>> I NEVER FELT LIKE THAT.

(LAUGHTER)>> YOU FEEL SAFE?

EAH, I FEEL PRETTY GOOD!

I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE.

OH YOU DON'T NEED A LICENSE!

HANGING OUT WITH MIKE YARD ANDTALKING WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE

ACTUALLY HAD EXPERIENCES.

YOU KNOW, YOU TALK ABOUT THEHISTORY OF THE COUNTRY, THE

WHOLE HISTORY OF THE COUNTRY ISWE GOT HERE AND SLAUGHTERED THE

PEOPLE WHO LIVED HERE AND STOLEFROM OTHER PEOPLE TO BUILD ALL

OUR (BLEEP).

AND NO RACISM?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE WHOLE THING IS RACISM.

>> BUT JEB BUSH CAN'T WIN THEREPUBLICAN NOMINATION BY SAYING

NICE STUFF ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN JOHNMcCAIN TRIED TO CALL BARACK A

DECENT FAMILY MAN?

HIS PEOPLE WERE LIKE, WHAT! NO!

HOW DARE YOU!

>> WHAT ABOUT WHEN CHRISCHRISTIE HUGGED PRESIDENT OBAMA

DURING HURRICANE SANDY, IT'S,LIKE, HE'S OUT!

YOU DON'T HUG A BLACK MAN ONTELEVISION!

CAN'T BE PRESIDENT!

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)>> I BLEW IT, I BLEW IT.

T'S NOT JUST A COLOR THING.

BEN CARSON IS SURGING IN THEPOLLS ON THE REPUBLICAN SIDE.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT'SABOUT.

I THINK THEY KEEP HIM AROUND FORENTERTAINMENT.

>> HE TALKS ABOUT GOD, FAMILYAND COUNTRY.

IT'S GOD TILL IT'S POOR PEOPLEAND FAMILY TILL IT'S SAME SEX

AND COUNTRY TILL IT INVOLVESBLACK PEOPLE.

(APPLAUSE)>> Larry: I THINK THERE IS NOT

AN UNDERSTANDING OF WHAT THEISSUES ARE.

SOME PEOPLE TRY TO KNOCK DOWNTHE SLOGAN BLACK LIVES MATTER BY

SAYING ALL LIVES MATTER.

AS FAR AS SENTENCES GO, YES.

(LAUGHTER)>> BY THE WAY, THAT LOOKS

TERRIBLE ON A T-SHIRT.

>> EXACTLY!

I'M DOING A STUDY ON TWO AND TWOPLUS TWO EQUALS FOUR.

YEAH, LARRY, BUT EIGHT MINUSFOUR EQUALS FOUR.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT 8s ANDFOURS, I'M TALKING ABOUT TWOS

AND FOURS.

WHY DO THEY CHANGE THESUBJECT? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

>> IF ALL LIVES MATTER, WEWOULDN'T BE IN THE STREETS,

RIGHT?

IF BLACK PEOPLE DIDN'T HAVE TOFIGHT FOR THEIR RIGHTS LIKE

THIS, WE WOULDN'T BE HERE.

WE KNOW IT'S LIKE ANA-HISTORICAL WAY OF THINKING OF

JUSTICE IN THIS COUNTRY. ALLLIVES HAVE NEVER MATTERED.

WHICH IS WHY PEOPLE LIKE FREDDIEGRAY AREN'T HERE

>> Larry: WHAT DO YOU THINKTHE DIFFERENCE IS OF SEEING THE

PERSPECTIVE.

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY'RECOLOR BLIND. I'M LIKE, NO,

SOMETIMES YOU SHOULD SEE THEDIFFERENCES.

I'M NOT SAYING YOU SHOULD HAVENEGATIVE VIEWS BUT THERE ARE

DIFFERENCES WHICH HAVE MADECERTAIN PEOPLE GO DOWN CERTAIN

ROADS.

>> THAT'S THE WEIRDEST PART.

YOU'RE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUTKEEPING IT 100.

WE HAVE TO STILL CONVINCEREPUBLICANS RACISM IS REAL, AND

CONVINCE PEOPLE GLOBAL WARMINGIS REAL WE CAN'T FIX IT BECAUSE

WE STILL HAVE TO CONVINCE YOU ITEXISTS.

THAT'S A HUGE WASTE OF TIME.

>> Larry: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.